Pirate Jokes
I'm looking for FUNNY pirate jokes. I did a google search, but most of them are pretty stupid. So if you have one, share it. Oh, and please, no jokes that depend on an elongated R. They've been done to death
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Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
Come on up and see me urchins.
Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
Well blow me down?
Prepare to be boarded.
"I must be huntin' treasure, 'cause I'm diggin' yer chest."
"You're just the tasty wench I've been keeping me eye out for!"
"Hey, sexy -- how about a Jolly Rogering?"
"Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber."
"See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby."
"WOW! I bet we could fit SIXteen men on that chest!"
"Me skull and crossbones arn't the only thing I plan on raisin' tonight."
"Do ya mind if the parrot watches?"
"Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin'?"
"Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded."
"So you're the new cabin boy, eh?"
"Do you have the latest copy of Windows XP with cracked product activation?" (software pirates only)
"Yo, ho! Bottle of rum?"
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you free on Saturday?"
"Is there an 'X' on the seat of your pants? Because it appears that there's wond'rous booty buried underneath!"
Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)
They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.
You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?
Wanna shiver me timbers?
I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.
That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Let's get together and haul some keel.
That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.
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