FIC: Whiplash
Title: Whiplash
Pair: Klaine (because there needs to be MOAR)
Word Count: 2207
Summary: Through Born This Way. Blaine-POV. Kurt is concerned that Blaine might be angry with him, Blaine is angry with himself, and they are both missing each other and questioning their decisions.
Author’s Note: NEED KLAINE ANGST TO LIVE
and you thought YOU were going to be the one to mess this up
Blaine looked at the message on his phone and blinked. It was from Kurt. One of many since Kurt had transferred back to McKinley. Though, most had been checking in with each other so Blaine didn’t worry too much, or answering Blaine’s silly or cheerful messages, or joking about what the Warblers were doing.
Kurt missed them, too. His first text after Blaine had left with the Warblers had said, Getting whiplash, here. Glad to be home, though. You move me.
And that was the crux, really. Blaine had known how much Kurt wanted to be home, with his friends, and with his family especially, and not forced out to be somewhere else... even if he liked the Warblers, enjoyed his classes at Dalton, and adored Blaine.
What makes you think you’re messing this up? Blaine texted secretly as the Council chatted with one another about what songs to sing at the nursing home. He watched impatiently for Kurt’s next message, since he’d put his phone on silent to text him.
are you mad at me?
Blaine considered that for a moment, since he didn’t understand how he could be mad at Kurt. He’d done nothing wrong. They’d talked about him going back, long before it had been an option. Blaine had even given him the okay, literally...
But like other things, well. Blaine had underestimated his own feelings, how it would feel not getting to see Kurt during the day, hold him, kiss him. Now other people’s days were brightened by Kurt’s smile. Other people got to hear him sing his feelings openly. Blaine had felt silly, giving Kurt permission for something that wasn’t going to happen... but also something Kurt didn’t really need his permission for and yet seemed to want anyway.
So he’d given it to Kurt and broken his own heart. He hadn’t understood that at the time. Maybe Kurt had understood better that Blaine might be upset and had been giving him the chance to say “No, you’re my boyfriend, and I want you to stay.” He was more intuitive about what he was feeling and, it seemed, more intuitive about what Blaine was feeling, sometimes.
No, I’m mad at me, Blaine texted back.
It had taken him so long to realize his own feelings for Kurt. Too bad it hadn’t taken that long to realize how much it hurt for Kurt to leave him. Even if he wasn’t really leaving him. Even if it wasn’t personal.
not sure i understnd that, Kurt replied.
Blaine sighed and slipped out of the Warbling room. Heading to the bathroom quickly, he knew that Kurt was waiting for a reply, and since he thought Blaine was angry for some reason, probably very nervous. Normally when Kurt texted that fast, it made Blaine laugh.
I don’t know why you think I’d be mad at you. I miss you.
ur mad 4 missing me? i’m okay w/you missing me bc i miss you 2.
Settling down on the sofa by the sinks, Blaine crossed his legs and stared at his phone, trying to think of how to reply.
Before he could, Kurt messaged him again: y didnt u come 2 the barbara-vention?
“Ohhh...” Blaine drew in a breath. 1. I flunked a test this week and lost town hours privileges and 2. I was invited?
Kurt’s reply was immediate. YES!!!
Then, I’M SORRY I THOUGHT YOU UNDERSTOOD!!!
Blaine laughed and let himself fall back into the stiff fabric of the sofa. Can I call you?
in newd practice. supposed 2 be listening 2 mr shoe
That explained the quick typing. Blaine leaned forward to compose another reply. He couldn’t make a date, thanks to his bad grade. Which made him more mad at himself, actually. He should have been paying attention and not moping so he could visit Kurt in the afternoons. If he wasn’t careful, he wouldn’t be approved to leave campus this weekend.
Blaine jumped as his phone began to vibrate with a call. The display showed a picture of Kurt doing his ‘coquettish’ face, cheeks sucked in and eyes glancing upward. It was adorable. Blaine had taken it while Kurt was packing up his dorm. That had been before Kurt had started crying and curled up in his arms.
“Kurt?”
“I slipped out of practice. I’m in the little girl’s room.”
Blaine chuckled. “Why not the little boy’s room?”
Kurt didn’t reply right away, then, “Why are you mad at yourself? Are we okay? Can I see you today?”
“I wasn’t kidding about that test. I’m not allowed to leave campus. Mr. Head is letting me retake it on Thursday, so maybe I can still see you this weekend.”
Kurt went quiet again. “Can I come up there?”
“Well, you’re not a student anymore, so they would have to sign you in and ask who you’re visiting, and they won’t let you visit me because of the grade-”
“I’ll lie. Surely David won’t mind if I say I’m coming to visit him.” Kurt’s voice seemed suddenly shrewish, and Blaine wished he could see his face so he could better read him.
“I’ll get in more trouble if we get caught. So will David,” Blaine pointed out. “I’m not trying to be difficult.”
“No, I know. I just feel like... I don’t know. I’ve been overwhelmed the last couple of days, and I’m so glad to be back home, but I’m afraid-”
“Don’t be. You’re home. Don’t be afraid.” Blaine listened to Kurt breathing quietly. “I miss the sound of you.”
“The sound of me? Singing?”
“Just... being here. I miss the sound of you being next to me, and the feel of you in my arms when we’re just hanging out together. Doing nothing but being. You know? We got spoiled.”
“Let me know how, and I’ll spoil you. Rotten.”
Blaine found himself smiling again. Maybe for the first time that day. “I would really like to see you.”
“I could be a better spy this time. Right uniform and everything. Sneak right in.”
“As much as I love you in costume, that might not be the best idea. Besides, I like seeing you in civvies.”
“You have a broad definition of ‘civvies,’ Mr. Warbler.” Kurt cleared his throat. “Hold on.”
The sound of a door closing. A few girls’ voices. Then quiet again.
“Why are you in the girl’s bathroom?” Blaine asked again.
Kurt said nothing in reply. He was quiet for so long that Blaine wondered if the call had been dropped.
“Kurt?”
“Karofsky was hardly the first troglodyte to harass me,” Kurt muttered.
“I thought you said you’d be safe there.” Tension rose in his chest.
“It’s harder to come back to this place than I thought it would be. Not the people, the place. I’m doing fine,” Kurt said quickly, though Blaine wasn’t sure he believed him. Kurt wanted everything to be fine so badly. “I just... There are a lot of memories to push past. Even if Karofsky and Santana are trolling the hallways in their anti-bullying comrade gear.”
“That’s so strange.”
“I have to get back. They’ll start to worry.” Kurt sounded like he was pouting.
Blaine licked his lips and nodded. “Wishing you could split yourself in two, hm? Be here and there at the same time.”
“Can’t have it all, I guess.” Kurt took a breath. “Did I make the right decision?”
“I’m not sure I can answer that for you.”
“You can answer it for you. You seem like...”
Blaine squeezed his hand on his knee. Kurt always did this. He always knew, sensed, when something was off kilter, and he rarely let it go unspoken. He faced it head on.
“I’m not happy. I miss you, and I feel like an idiot because I didn’t realize that this would feel like you’ve dumped me.” The words tumbled out of his mouth heedlessly. He bit his lip, then spoke into Kurt’s shocked silence. “I’m not mad at you. It’s just hard.”
“It is,” Kurt whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m not dumping you. At all. I told you this wasn’t goodbye for us. I thought you- I should have known-”
“You’re not psychic, Kurt. Neither of us are. I just wanted you to be happy, and I guess I thought, if Kurt’s happy, I’ll be happy. I love him, and I’ll love anything he loves.”
“I’m not loving you failing tests and being miserable.”
“Then I’ll have to stop failing the tests. The rest, I’m just gonna have to work on.”
“Pass that test, Blaine. I can’t live through the weekend without you,” Kurt said.
His voice was so serious that Blaine wasn’t sure how to take it. It was a little unnerving. “I will. I was just upset when I came back from seeing you.”
“I wish...”
“You wish?”
“That I’d had the rhinestones to kiss you in front of everyone.”
Blaine frowned. His fingers dug into his knee. “You’re still scared there.”
“It’s... Like I said, it’s harder than I thought.”
“Ditto. God, we’re a pair, aren’t we? Dumb as bricks.”
“I know it. I had my happy ending, and I blew it.”
“It’s not blown. We’re just having a rough patch. And not even with each other, just the situation. I bet your dad is breathing a sigh of relief right now that they don’t have to shell out for fourth quarter tuition.”
“I feel so bad about all the money they spent sending me to Dalton.”
“And you feel bad for going back, too. At the same time everything is amazing and happy and more artistically satisfying.”
“What can I say, I’m a complicated diva.”
“My complicated diva.” Blaine looked up as the door opened to see Nick peering in.
“Wes says to tell you he’s only going to be so patient.” Nick leaned against the doorframe and raised a brow.
“Will he be more patient if he gets to talk to Kurt?” Blaine asked.
“I really need to get back-” Kurt quieted as the door swung open again.
“Kurt? Are you okay?” It was Mercedes.
“We’re busted,” Kurt said.
Blaine chuckled. “Give Mercedes a kiss for me.”
“Give Wes a kiss for me,” Kurt shot back.
“What are you doing in here?” Mercedes asked.
“Making sure my boyfriend isn’t going to drop me.”
“I would never,” Blaine admonished. “Okay. Letting you go. You move me.”
“You move me, too.”
In a few seconds of cliche, neither of them hung up. Until Nick grabbed his phone and said into it, “Bye-bye!” before ending the call.
“Thanks.” Blaine took a deep breath, unsure of whether or not he was being sarcastic.
“No problem. You okay? Did you guys fight?”
“We’re not fighting. Kurt’s just...” Blaine shrugged his head to the side. “He has a complicated existence. Do you think David would let Kurt sign in as a visitor for him?”
“No, but I will. He going to get down with you in your dorm?” Nick touched Blaine’s back and shoved him out into the hallway.
“No. We just need to see each other.” Blaine dipped his head down and smiled. “Thanks, Nick.”
“Not a problem. I didn’t think this would be easy on either of you.”
“We were naive.”
"You’re lovebirds.” Nick patted Blaine’s shoulder.
As he walked down the hallway, Blaine fought the urge to text Kurt again. This was not something he wanted to resist, but he was going to have to, if he was going to retain any kind of focus and manage some kind of life outside of Kurt. It was funny how quickly their relationship had eclipsed them both, and how easy it had been to let it.
His phone buzzed. It was Kurt.
Last one. Mercedes says it’s cute how we say I Love You... And I do. Don’t forget, even when I’m not there.
Blaine covered his mouth, then looked up to realize the Warblers were in front of him. Matt handed him a handkerchief, and he tucked his phone away and wiped away his tears, grateful that he and Kurt had each other, and also had such good friends to hold onto when they were apart.
Pair: Klaine (because there needs to be MOAR)
Word Count: 2207
Summary: Through Born This Way. Blaine-POV. Kurt is concerned that Blaine might be angry with him, Blaine is angry with himself, and they are both missing each other and questioning their decisions.
Author’s Note: NEED KLAINE ANGST TO LIVE
and you thought YOU were going to be the one to mess this up
Blaine looked at the message on his phone and blinked. It was from Kurt. One of many since Kurt had transferred back to McKinley. Though, most had been checking in with each other so Blaine didn’t worry too much, or answering Blaine’s silly or cheerful messages, or joking about what the Warblers were doing.
Kurt missed them, too. His first text after Blaine had left with the Warblers had said, Getting whiplash, here. Glad to be home, though. You move me.
And that was the crux, really. Blaine had known how much Kurt wanted to be home, with his friends, and with his family especially, and not forced out to be somewhere else... even if he liked the Warblers, enjoyed his classes at Dalton, and adored Blaine.
What makes you think you’re messing this up? Blaine texted secretly as the Council chatted with one another about what songs to sing at the nursing home. He watched impatiently for Kurt’s next message, since he’d put his phone on silent to text him.
are you mad at me?
Blaine considered that for a moment, since he didn’t understand how he could be mad at Kurt. He’d done nothing wrong. They’d talked about him going back, long before it had been an option. Blaine had even given him the okay, literally...
But like other things, well. Blaine had underestimated his own feelings, how it would feel not getting to see Kurt during the day, hold him, kiss him. Now other people’s days were brightened by Kurt’s smile. Other people got to hear him sing his feelings openly. Blaine had felt silly, giving Kurt permission for something that wasn’t going to happen... but also something Kurt didn’t really need his permission for and yet seemed to want anyway.
So he’d given it to Kurt and broken his own heart. He hadn’t understood that at the time. Maybe Kurt had understood better that Blaine might be upset and had been giving him the chance to say “No, you’re my boyfriend, and I want you to stay.” He was more intuitive about what he was feeling and, it seemed, more intuitive about what Blaine was feeling, sometimes.
No, I’m mad at me, Blaine texted back.
It had taken him so long to realize his own feelings for Kurt. Too bad it hadn’t taken that long to realize how much it hurt for Kurt to leave him. Even if he wasn’t really leaving him. Even if it wasn’t personal.
not sure i understnd that, Kurt replied.
Blaine sighed and slipped out of the Warbling room. Heading to the bathroom quickly, he knew that Kurt was waiting for a reply, and since he thought Blaine was angry for some reason, probably very nervous. Normally when Kurt texted that fast, it made Blaine laugh.
I don’t know why you think I’d be mad at you. I miss you.
ur mad 4 missing me? i’m okay w/you missing me bc i miss you 2.
Settling down on the sofa by the sinks, Blaine crossed his legs and stared at his phone, trying to think of how to reply.
Before he could, Kurt messaged him again: y didnt u come 2 the barbara-vention?
“Ohhh...” Blaine drew in a breath. 1. I flunked a test this week and lost town hours privileges and 2. I was invited?
Kurt’s reply was immediate. YES!!!
Then, I’M SORRY I THOUGHT YOU UNDERSTOOD!!!
Blaine laughed and let himself fall back into the stiff fabric of the sofa. Can I call you?
in newd practice. supposed 2 be listening 2 mr shoe
That explained the quick typing. Blaine leaned forward to compose another reply. He couldn’t make a date, thanks to his bad grade. Which made him more mad at himself, actually. He should have been paying attention and not moping so he could visit Kurt in the afternoons. If he wasn’t careful, he wouldn’t be approved to leave campus this weekend.
Blaine jumped as his phone began to vibrate with a call. The display showed a picture of Kurt doing his ‘coquettish’ face, cheeks sucked in and eyes glancing upward. It was adorable. Blaine had taken it while Kurt was packing up his dorm. That had been before Kurt had started crying and curled up in his arms.
“Kurt?”
“I slipped out of practice. I’m in the little girl’s room.”
Blaine chuckled. “Why not the little boy’s room?”
Kurt didn’t reply right away, then, “Why are you mad at yourself? Are we okay? Can I see you today?”
“I wasn’t kidding about that test. I’m not allowed to leave campus. Mr. Head is letting me retake it on Thursday, so maybe I can still see you this weekend.”
Kurt went quiet again. “Can I come up there?”
“Well, you’re not a student anymore, so they would have to sign you in and ask who you’re visiting, and they won’t let you visit me because of the grade-”
“I’ll lie. Surely David won’t mind if I say I’m coming to visit him.” Kurt’s voice seemed suddenly shrewish, and Blaine wished he could see his face so he could better read him.
“I’ll get in more trouble if we get caught. So will David,” Blaine pointed out. “I’m not trying to be difficult.”
“No, I know. I just feel like... I don’t know. I’ve been overwhelmed the last couple of days, and I’m so glad to be back home, but I’m afraid-”
“Don’t be. You’re home. Don’t be afraid.” Blaine listened to Kurt breathing quietly. “I miss the sound of you.”
“The sound of me? Singing?”
“Just... being here. I miss the sound of you being next to me, and the feel of you in my arms when we’re just hanging out together. Doing nothing but being. You know? We got spoiled.”
“Let me know how, and I’ll spoil you. Rotten.”
Blaine found himself smiling again. Maybe for the first time that day. “I would really like to see you.”
“I could be a better spy this time. Right uniform and everything. Sneak right in.”
“As much as I love you in costume, that might not be the best idea. Besides, I like seeing you in civvies.”
“You have a broad definition of ‘civvies,’ Mr. Warbler.” Kurt cleared his throat. “Hold on.”
The sound of a door closing. A few girls’ voices. Then quiet again.
“Why are you in the girl’s bathroom?” Blaine asked again.
Kurt said nothing in reply. He was quiet for so long that Blaine wondered if the call had been dropped.
“Kurt?”
“Karofsky was hardly the first troglodyte to harass me,” Kurt muttered.
“I thought you said you’d be safe there.” Tension rose in his chest.
“It’s harder to come back to this place than I thought it would be. Not the people, the place. I’m doing fine,” Kurt said quickly, though Blaine wasn’t sure he believed him. Kurt wanted everything to be fine so badly. “I just... There are a lot of memories to push past. Even if Karofsky and Santana are trolling the hallways in their anti-bullying comrade gear.”
“That’s so strange.”
“I have to get back. They’ll start to worry.” Kurt sounded like he was pouting.
Blaine licked his lips and nodded. “Wishing you could split yourself in two, hm? Be here and there at the same time.”
“Can’t have it all, I guess.” Kurt took a breath. “Did I make the right decision?”
“I’m not sure I can answer that for you.”
“You can answer it for you. You seem like...”
Blaine squeezed his hand on his knee. Kurt always did this. He always knew, sensed, when something was off kilter, and he rarely let it go unspoken. He faced it head on.
“I’m not happy. I miss you, and I feel like an idiot because I didn’t realize that this would feel like you’ve dumped me.” The words tumbled out of his mouth heedlessly. He bit his lip, then spoke into Kurt’s shocked silence. “I’m not mad at you. It’s just hard.”
“It is,” Kurt whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m not dumping you. At all. I told you this wasn’t goodbye for us. I thought you- I should have known-”
“You’re not psychic, Kurt. Neither of us are. I just wanted you to be happy, and I guess I thought, if Kurt’s happy, I’ll be happy. I love him, and I’ll love anything he loves.”
“I’m not loving you failing tests and being miserable.”
“Then I’ll have to stop failing the tests. The rest, I’m just gonna have to work on.”
“Pass that test, Blaine. I can’t live through the weekend without you,” Kurt said.
His voice was so serious that Blaine wasn’t sure how to take it. It was a little unnerving. “I will. I was just upset when I came back from seeing you.”
“I wish...”
“You wish?”
“That I’d had the rhinestones to kiss you in front of everyone.”
Blaine frowned. His fingers dug into his knee. “You’re still scared there.”
“It’s... Like I said, it’s harder than I thought.”
“Ditto. God, we’re a pair, aren’t we? Dumb as bricks.”
“I know it. I had my happy ending, and I blew it.”
“It’s not blown. We’re just having a rough patch. And not even with each other, just the situation. I bet your dad is breathing a sigh of relief right now that they don’t have to shell out for fourth quarter tuition.”
“I feel so bad about all the money they spent sending me to Dalton.”
“And you feel bad for going back, too. At the same time everything is amazing and happy and more artistically satisfying.”
“What can I say, I’m a complicated diva.”
“My complicated diva.” Blaine looked up as the door opened to see Nick peering in.
“Wes says to tell you he’s only going to be so patient.” Nick leaned against the doorframe and raised a brow.
“Will he be more patient if he gets to talk to Kurt?” Blaine asked.
“I really need to get back-” Kurt quieted as the door swung open again.
“Kurt? Are you okay?” It was Mercedes.
“We’re busted,” Kurt said.
Blaine chuckled. “Give Mercedes a kiss for me.”
“Give Wes a kiss for me,” Kurt shot back.
“What are you doing in here?” Mercedes asked.
“Making sure my boyfriend isn’t going to drop me.”
“I would never,” Blaine admonished. “Okay. Letting you go. You move me.”
“You move me, too.”
In a few seconds of cliche, neither of them hung up. Until Nick grabbed his phone and said into it, “Bye-bye!” before ending the call.
“Thanks.” Blaine took a deep breath, unsure of whether or not he was being sarcastic.
“No problem. You okay? Did you guys fight?”
“We’re not fighting. Kurt’s just...” Blaine shrugged his head to the side. “He has a complicated existence. Do you think David would let Kurt sign in as a visitor for him?”
“No, but I will. He going to get down with you in your dorm?” Nick touched Blaine’s back and shoved him out into the hallway.
“No. We just need to see each other.” Blaine dipped his head down and smiled. “Thanks, Nick.”
“Not a problem. I didn’t think this would be easy on either of you.”
“We were naive.”
"You’re lovebirds.” Nick patted Blaine’s shoulder.
As he walked down the hallway, Blaine fought the urge to text Kurt again. This was not something he wanted to resist, but he was going to have to, if he was going to retain any kind of focus and manage some kind of life outside of Kurt. It was funny how quickly their relationship had eclipsed them both, and how easy it had been to let it.
His phone buzzed. It was Kurt.
Last one. Mercedes says it’s cute how we say I Love You... And I do. Don’t forget, even when I’m not there.
Blaine covered his mouth, then looked up to realize the Warblers were in front of him. Matt handed him a handkerchief, and he tucked his phone away and wiped away his tears, grateful that he and Kurt had each other, and also had such good friends to hold onto when they were apart.