FIC: Just Don't Call Me Claire, Part Five
Title: Just Don’t Call Me Claire (5/8, completed)
Pairing: Klaine
Includes: coexisting crack, angst, and fluff
Warnings: misgendering, homophobia
Summary: Kurt tries to pass as a girl so that Blaine’s parents will be more supportive of their son... Naturally, this has to go well, right?
Author’s Note(s): Post Sexy AU. There are background pairings that are canon in the show, and they are sort of just uncritically there for the purpose of plot motion. I’d say that the POV is divided close to evenly among Kurt and Blaine, and then there are a few other cameo POVs.
Part One ♥ Part Two ♥ Part Three ♥ Part Four
Part Five
Kurt was in the middle of sucking on a popsicle when he locked eyes with her on the sidewalk in front of the school. It was, perhaps, the worst way to be caught in front of the homophobic woman you had fooled for weeks into thinking you were a girl while you hung around gaying up her son: With your lips wrapped enthusiastically around an oblong object.
Nimble like a gazelle, Kurt swiftly hitched his book bag over his shoulder, and tried to get into the crowd of students before Blaine’s mother caught him, but she was unburdened, and he had a load of heavy textbooks. She grabbed his shoulders and turned him around. He hoped his cheeks weren’t the cherry red of his lips.
“You go to his school,” she said in a heavy voice.
Kurt made no reply. The uniform made the answer obvious.
“You know where he is,” she tried again.
“He’s in class.”
Lea shook him, and Kurt dropped his popsicle. He swallowed, and then she let him go and ran a hand through her hair. “I don’t mean to scare you, I just... I just... Oh, my God.”
Her hands went to her face and tears started to pour down her cheeks.
“He’ll come back. Mrs. Anderson, he will. If you and your husband can prove to him that you’re going to try harder. He loves you both so much.”
“But he loves you more, right?” Her voice had turned bitter suddenly. “You’re why he left.”
“You made him feel like a stranger in his own home long before I fell into his life,” Kurt snapped. She looked up at him angrily, and he considered that maybe he should have kept silent for once in his life.
Instead, she wiped her eyes and shook her head. “I liked you. I really did.”
“Hm. Pity I’m a faggot, huh?”
It wasn’t so much that he wanted to get the last word in, but that he wanted to stop saying terrible things to Blaine’s mother, and that last one had caused a look of such shock and horror that Kurt just had to get out of there. One step, two, and then he was running back into the school.
***
Blaine saw Kurt slip into Warbler practice just as the Council started the meeting. He watched as his friend’s hands shook, and he didn’t pay attention to what the Council was saying in the slightest.
Even though they were talking about Kurt. And he should be super interested in this.
Blaine had been aware that when Wes had said, “We’ll talk about it,” he had given into being convinced by David, and it was only a matter of time before they started batting around song selections. This was fun to watch unfold. It was like watching, from the outside, how the the Council had talked about him at the beginning of the year, before they’d given him “Teenage Dream” to see what he could do with it.
“I’m thinking Brightman. Vocal Adrenaline is all pop/rock songs this year. They’ll go old school, but they probably won’t go Broadway. And we know that Kurt can do that with his wings tied behind his back,” Thad put in. “When we have that, then Blaine can rock the house on anything else we wanna do.”
“But do we want to have him go solo and back him up with some strong vocals, or do we want to do it as a duet?” Wes asked.
“I’m still gunning for at least one solo, but it depends on what we do for the second and third numbers. I’d like our leads to show a good range, and for us to show off our dancing as well, and we might want to go for some kind of thematic consistency,” David explained. He turned to Kurt. “Do you think you could do Christine from Phantom of the Opera?”
The Warblers looked to Kurt when he didn’t answer.
“Warbler Kurt?” Wes raised his voice.
“Oh! Sorry.” Kurt jerked his head up.
Blaine rushed over to him, alarmed by the red smear over his mouth. “Did someone hit you?”
“What? No... Oh, that was just a popsicle. Brody brought them to my study group.” He rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand, but the red lips stayed. His eyes creased with worry, then he muttered, “Your mom was outside looking for you. I don’t know if she’ll try to pull you out of class to talk to you or not.”
“Jeez ass,” Nick said.
“No, Blaine will know in advance,” Wes said. “The rules require parents to schedule visits. So that they can have the student available, theoretically.”
“What did she say to you?” Blaine sat next to Kurt. All the Warblers leaned in to listen. Even Wes set his gavel down.
Kurt put his hands on his knees and looked at Blaine with a troubled frown. “Does it matter? She misses you, that’s all. She wants to find you and talk to you.”
Blaine raised a brow. “What did you say to her?”
“Oh. Bad, bad things,” Kurt admitted unhappily.
Blaine looked up at the ceiling. He was sure whatever Kurt had said was brutally true, whether his mother liked it or not. He hoped she didn’t try to pull him out of school, although Wes was right. There were some hoops for her to jump through if his parents decided to do that, and he could probably avoid them.
“What can we do to help?” David asked, breaking the silence.
Blaine shook his head. There was no helping this.
“Can we just get back to work? I just... Let’s just work. It’s easier than waiting for something else to happen. The ball’s in their court right now, anyway.” Blaine rubbed Kurt’s back. “Solos. We’re talking solos, for Nationals.”
Kurt nodded and looked around at the other boys.
“Yours,” Wes said pointedly. “You know, if you happen to still be interested in that.”
Kurt’s brows shot up. Blaine smiled and settled into yet another distraction.
***
Tianna was thinking of changing her last name. Right now she was bouncing between Tianna Sun and Tianna Warbler. That way she and Blaine could both disown their parents and prance out into the world with fun stage names. She didn’t know exactly why Kurt sometimes called Blaine that, but the story had to be absolutely adorable, because everything those kids did was absolutely adorable.
She stepped into the Lima Bean where she was to meet her brother this afternoon, still wearing her uniform and her hair in pigtails. Funny how not seeing him for the past few days had seemed much more intolerable than any of their other separations. They both went to boarding schools, and hers was much more strict about campus leave (and she tended to get into trouble more often, which had the tendency to make a girl ineligible for leaving campus). She should be used to it, but this weekend, it had felt like he might really need her again, and she couldn’t be there.
After a quick search, she started to think that Blaine had flaked on her (which she could hardly blame him for), but then she spotted him slumped over in a booth with his fingers curled over his lips, biscotti and coffee untouched.
“Oh, baby.” Tianna slipped into the booth and wrapped her arms around him. Blaine was taller than her, but somehow he managed to curl up against her and seem like a tiny, kicked puppy.
“Missed you,” he muttered.
“I’ve missed you, too.” She rested her head on his and just held him for what seemed like a long while.
When Blaine finally spoke again, it almost startled her. “How’s Mama?”
“A mess. She and Dad are fighting about it... but this is good. I mean, out in the open is better, right?”
“I destroyed our family.”
“Pfft. No, you didn’t. You know that, right?” She paused for a long moment. “If anyone destroyed our family, it was me. Saturday night at dinner. When I told Mom and Dad that I’d rather eat pussy than choke down another home cooked meal seasoned with their bullshit.”
The smile that brought to her brother’s face was worth the yelling that had ensued. She’d totally said that. Tianna couldn’t help but wonder how her parents thought of Blaine as the problem child. Blaine had never been caught in a pregnancy scare with someone he’d been dating (hey, it happened with gay teens, too). He’d never smoked, cigarettes or... otherwise. He’d never failed a grade, or been busted for drinking. He never even swore in front of them. But him being gay was the like biggest deal ever to them.
“I can’t believe you’re letting your coffee get cold.” She grabbed the cup and took a sip.
“I should drink less of it.”
“But you love coffee.”
“I’d like to sleep again sometime, too.”
Tianna kissed his temple. “I can come by to sing you to sleep.”
“You can duet with Kurt on that. He may run out of Beatles songs to sing me soon.” Blaine rested his head back against the booth.
She smile at the image of Kurt singing her brother a lullaby. “What do you need? What can I do for you?”
“Being here to remind me I still have a family is a good start.”
She dipped the biscotti into the cold coffee then held it up so Blaine could take a bite. “I’m permanent. Don’t ever doubt it. No matter what happens with them, we have each other, like always, okay?”
Blaine wiped his mouth and pushed himself up a little. “I’d ask if you thought I should have handled it better on Friday, but I think I know your answer.”
“It shocked me, yeah, but not because you shouldn’t have yelled at them. You should’ve years ago. You’re just too well behaved.”
“I can’t talk to them the way you do.” He picked up the coffee cup and drank.
“I don’t think you have to. Not necessarily, but Blaine, you have to stand up for yourself. You can’t please everyone, y’know. Especially when you know what will please them just doesn’t work for you.”
“It’s not like that. They’re our parents. I couldn’t just tell them to go screw themselves!”
“No. But you could tell them how you feel.” Tianna pressed her lips together. “I know that’s hard for you. I know how much you care about them, about all of us. I just don’t want anyone taking advantage of you, especially not people who are supposed to look out for you. You’re my baby brother. I want to fight.”
“You always do.” Blaine bit his lower lip. “Sometimes I want to fight, too, but it’s hard to do on my own.”
“Then let us help you, dummy.” She gave his arm a light punch. “Me and Kurt, we got your back.”
“I know.” Blaine knocked back the last of the coffee. “How is Dad? I mean, do you think he’s going to change his mind at all?”
“Dunno. He’s been strange for the past couple of days. At first he didn’t even want to talk about you at all. I was afraid they were just going to pretend that you don’t exist like every other problem, but last night he was just sitting in your room. Alone, with the lights off.”
Blaine tilted his head the the side and narrowed his eyes. “Really.”
“And he was holding your Mushu plushie. Just staring at it.”
“That’s... weird.”
“He’s losing it. For real, now.” Tianna shrugged.
Blaine frowned deeply and stared into his empty cup. “He’s probably thinking about his big queer son singing “Reflection” at the seventh grade talent show.”
“Oh!” Tianna laughed and gave him hug. “Let me get you some more coffee. I drank half of yours.”
“Can I have a mocha?”
“Anything you want, sweetness.” She mussed his gelled hair until it stood up straight and then went to go stand in line as he struggled to comb it back into place with his fingers. In reality, she was a little afraid that this wouldn’t be resolved, and their mom or dad would try to grab Blaine outside of the school to make him come home, and then Blaine would really run. Just start driving aimlessly to who knew where, only to end up in the proverbial ditch that seemed to collect all stray teenagers.
That he had ended up at Kurt’s on Friday was hardly surprising, but a big relief. Blaine just sort of gravitated toward him, like it was a force of nature. Tianna had taken to singing or humming Jonathan Coulton’s “I’m Your Moon” around them to see if they’d noticed. Characteristically, Blaine seemed oblivious, and Kurt had started side-eyeing her whenever she did it.
She returned with Blaine’s sweetened liquid crack and petted the back of his head while he drank it. The least she could do for him right now was be a better big sister than she usually was, a big sister who actually acted like she had her shit together and could take care of things.
“I wasn’t joking, you know, when I told you we could get an apartment together,” she said. “I’m old enough to get one, and I’ll be out of high school soon enough. We don’t have to give into them.”
“That thought is a little overwhelming.” Blaine sipped his coffee again, then licked the whipped cream off his upper lip. “But we’d do okay together. You think? I don’t know if they’ll still want to pay for school, if I move out for real.”
“Then I’ll get a place in Lima and you can go to school with Kurt.”
Blaine frowned at her. “He’s not going back to the school there.”
“Oh, I’ll take care of that guy who was bothering him. What’s his face? Cartman or whatever?”
“You’re going to beat up Karofsky for us?” Blaine pinched his lips together in an amused expression.
“Taking care of someone doesn’t necessarily mean violence.” Tianna drummed her fingers on the table and looked off to the right thoughtfully. “But it could.”
“You know, I’m not normally a violent person, but there are days when I see Kurt jump at a loud slamming noise-- It doesn’t happen as often, but it does happen-- and I really just...” Blaine balled his fist on the table. “It really pisses me off.”
Tianna watched him and leaned on her hand. “You worry about him.”
“You know, I wouldn’t mind to go to another school, as long as I still got to see Kurt... and my friends.” He pressed his thumbs into the mug firmly.
Tianna blinked at the deliberate change in topic. That was a little strange for Blaine. As much as she had the urge to tease him about Kurt, because that was always super fun, she decided to let it drop and gently allow Blaine lead the conversation for the rest of their time together. Anything that would make him feel a little better while the two of them waited to see what would happen with their family.
***
Whatever designs Kurt’s father might have had to keep Kurt and Blaine from sleeping in the same room were rapidly being thwarted, mostly because there was no strict rule that boys couldn’t be in each other’s rooms after hours, just that they couldn’t have girls in their rooms, ever, and they had to knock off the noise after 7:00 p.m.
So there was nothing keeping Kurt from getting Blaine hot tea and staying there for hours and hours, until one or both of them drifted off. And that had been the norm so far that week.
When Kurt woke, he was in Blaine’s bed, curled around a blanket that had been draped over him, and Blaine was at his computer, writing something. He’d type for a while, then delete delete delete. Type more. Delete the whole thing. Get up, walk around. Go back to the computer and type again.
“What are you writing?” Kurt asked.
Blaine jumped like a startled cat. Kurt would say it was about a foot in the air.
“Dammit. I didn’t realize you’d woken up.”
“I have.” He sat up and rubbed his eyes.
“You look, um.” A silly grin spread on the Blaine’s face. Then he seemed to find something interesting on the other side of the room and gave it a third degree examination.
“I look?” Kurt blinked and folded his legs under him.
“LIke a little kid. All sleepy. In that big shirt.”
Kurt looked down. He’d changed earlier into a grey and red Ohio Buckeyes shirt that was actually too big for Blaine. He probably did look like a toddler in it.
“Well. You know me. Cute little penguin. I’m just adorable.” The words dripped acidic sarcasm. He hadn’t meant to sound so annoyed, but maybe it was the sleepiness.
Blaine came over to sit beside him, and combed his fingers through Kurt’s mussed hair. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Sorry. I’m just tired. Don’t worry about it.” He paused. “What are you writing?”
“You’re also tenacious like a little kid. You know that, right?” Blaine folded his hands in his lap. “I’m trying to write a letter to my parents. To tell them how I feel, and what I need from them.”
“Can I see?”
“No. Because I just deleted the last copy.”
Kurt got up and sat in his chair. He clicked the little ‘undo’ arrow.
“Sneak!” Blaine accused, jumping up behind him.
“Are you going to send this to them?” Kurt asked after skimming over the first part.
“I... I don’t know. I thought maybe if I had the words all planned out, I could talk to them, and I wouldn’t screw it up this time. No maybes, or I thinks, or anything soft. Just, this is how it is. This is how I feel.”
“Can I make a criticism?” Kurt looked over his shoulder at Blaine, frowning seriously. “And I’m saying this as someone who really cares about you.”
“I... I guess so.” Blaine back down on the bed.
“If you confront them face to face, you’re going to try to please them, and you’re going to hedge, and you’re going to look out for them more than you look out for yourself. Nothing is going to change, and you’ll still be unhappy. Write the letter and email it to them. If you try to talk to them, they’re going to emotionally manipulate you, and you’re going to let them. Because you’re you. Because you love them more than you love yourself.”
Blaine blinked at Kurt in stunned silence. Kurt touched the back of his neck and returned to reading over the letter. Maybe that had been too harsh.
“Will you help me finish the letter?” Blaine asked finally.
“I’d be happy to. But I’m more sharp-tongued than you are. Don’t let me make your letter mean.”
“You’re just angry with them because you think they’re damaging me.”
Kurt said nothing. He’d said enough to and about Blaine’s parents. Probably too much. He let go of the mouse and turned towards the other side of the room, where Blaine’s roommate was snoring blissfully. Kurt’s own roommate didn’t sleep so easily.
When Blaine’s hands touched his shoulders, Kurt tensed. He hadn’t meant to, but there was no reason to sneak up on him like that. Blaine was looking at him strangely.
“What is it?” Kurt asked. “We should... finish this letter...”
“I think it’s great.”
“The letter.”
“No. That needs work.” Blaine swallowed, and he tilted his head to the side as he watched Kurt’s nervous face. “Last Friday night, I told you I didn’t know if your crazy was great or terrible. I think it’s great. I think it’s wonderful.”
Kurt laughed softly.
“I think you’re wonderful.”
Kurt froze, blinked, couldn’t breathe. “Oh.”
***
Blaine’s mind was screaming at him. Telling him how much he was blowing this, how he was hurting Kurt by doing this now of all times, how he’d open his mouth again and the words would come out in an insolvable snarl.
Kurt’s face wasn’t moving. Normally every feeling was right there to read, which was why it was hard to believe that he hadn’t seen how much Kurt had cared before. Now it was painfully obvious that he was trying not to feel anything. Because that would mean he was taking their friendship the wrong way, again. Except…
Now he was absolutely right.
Blaine remembered Kurt’s words about the touching of fingers being intimate, and he reached forward, took Kurt’s long fingers, and rubbed them between his own tenderly, never losing sight of his eyes.
But he couldn’t speak. What was this?
Kurt spoke first. Bluntly, but gently, and with the hint of a smile, to humor Blaine, to let him off the hook for feelings Kurt couldn’t let himself believe Blaine had, “Blaine? What is this? What are you doing?”
“I’m trying... I’m trying to tell you. You mean so much more to me than you know. Than I knew, a few days ago. I think, somewhere, it never registered for me how strong you are, and... I don’t care if you are crazy, or determined, or mean, sometimes. You’re also brilliant and devoted and nurturing. It’s all part of this person who just... grounds me and at the same time shakes me up in a way that’s terrifying. And wonderful. You’re wonderful.”
Kurt’s eyes now searched Blaine’s face. Before Blaine could let more words tumble out of his mouth, Kurt brushed his fingers over Blaine’s cheek, wiping away a tear.
Then he leaned over and kissed his forehead. His hand cupping Blaine’s cheek in that delicate but protective way, he kissed Blaine’s nose. He looked at Blaine through his lashes, and when Blaine only smiled softly, Kurt kissed his lips.
It was awkward and amazing. They both went for the bottom lip at the same time, but then worked it out. Within a few minutes, Blaine was straddling Kurt in the chair, and Kurt was trembling but holding onto Blaine so tightly that he couldn’t believe that Kurt wanted to stop. Not yet, not yet.
They spent most of the night kissing one another. First in the chair, then on Blaine’s bed. Neat and sweet, sloppy and open-mouthed, then with Kurt’s dancing tongue slipping between Blaine’s lips, making him wonder briefly where his little baby penguin had learned to do that.
Thoughts like that were pushed away for more kisses, more caresses, more gazing at one another as they panted in each others’ arms.
***
The sun was starting to come up, and Kurt drifted between sleeping and waking, curled against Blaine with their faces touching.
“How am I going to tell your dad?” Blaine whispered to himself.
“Tell ‘im,” Kurt murmured, startling Blaine again. “Tell ‘im, you know how you got eyes?”
Blaine chuckled and kissed Kurt’s eyebrow. “What does that mean?”
“He said to me, before, ‘You know, Kurt. I got eyes. Anyone with eyes could see somethin’s going on with you two.’ And I said, no, no, Blaine doesn’t like me like that. Not at all.” Kurt yawned.
“Blaine’s a little slow.” He kissed Kurt’s head again.
“Maybe I’m a little fast. To fall, anyway.” Kurt took Blaine’s hand and let their fingers twine together. “It’s a little hard to believe I’m lying here with you... You know. Wanting me.”
Blaine answered him with another kiss, and Kurt could only smile.
“Well, whatever cheers you up,” Kurt managed breathlessly.
“Oh! Whoa!” Blaine’s roommate Zach exclaimed suddenly. They both turned their heads to him at once, and he held his hand up and looked away. “Okay. Dude. Uh. Just stay there, guys. I’m headed to the bathroom.”
“We’re clothed!” Kurt called after him.
Zach uncovered his eyes. “It’s really not fair that you can bring a guy over, but I can’t bring a girl. You know, just because you can’t get Kurt pregnant.”
“Sorry. I would have warned you, if I ever planned anything ever.” Blaine rolled onto his back.
Zach crossed his arms. “Hard night? I guess if I had girlfriend, I’d want her over to comfort me when my parents were being douches.”
“Kurt’s not a girl,” Blaine said sharply.
Kurt raised his brows and touched Blaine’s chest.
“Man.” Zach rubbed his forehead. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just gonna go get ready, okay? Sorry, Kurt.”
“We’re good, Zach.” He leaned over to pepper Blaine’s neck with kisses. Well-earned kisses.
***
Sometimes, Blaine bothered Kurt for no reason at all, and through his exhaustion today, he realized that there was an actual reason, and there had been for some time now. He came up behind Kurt in the study room and watched him for a moment, remembering other moments when he had watched him for seemingly no reason, then bothered him for just as little reason. Times when he would come up to him to tease him into singing, or just played with him until he smile that gorgeous smile of his.
It had been hard to watch Kurt so sad when he’d first come to Dalton. He’d hid it, but Blaine, as much as his head was stuffed with straw sometimes, could see the difference when Kurt was around him or talking to one of his friends on the phone, and when he was alone. Blaine knew then that he should leave him be, let him heal, and let him find his place here at Dalton, but the urge to dance up to him and make him smile was stronger than he was.
And Kurt had found his place eventually, anyway.
Kurt’s head dipped forward, and Blaine grinned, because for once he had a good reason to bother Kurt. He sat down next to him, bopped Kurt’s nose when he looked up with that adorable sleepy expression of his, and handed him a coffee.
“Hey there, little penguin.”
Kurt laughed quietly and accepted the coffee. “This little penguin is a little worn out.”
“I don’t know how I’ve managed to stay awake in my classes,” Blaine admitted. He drank his own coffee, and watched as Kurt noticed that he was drinking a mocha. They both were. Blaine hated to bring Kurt down to his level, but Kurt did like mochas, even if he usually avoided the extra calories.
“Monsieur Depaul n'a pas été amusé par son étudiant dormant dans la classe.,” Kurt joked. “How are you feeling today?”
“Tired.”
Kurt smiled slightly. “Not what I mean.”
“I dunno. Unbalanced, I guess.”
“We need to get you sleep tonight,” Kurt advised. “I asked my roommate if you could stay over tonight, and he said he’ll sleep in your dorm. I think Zach will appreciate it, too.”
“I don’t think that’s the problem.”
“No?” Kurt reached over to brush a little hair off of Blaine’s forehead.
Blaine’s heart did a little leap.
“I know there are other things going on, but I also think some sleep couldn’t hurt,” Kurt said.
Blaine nodded, and he put his hand on Kurt’s knee. He wanted to lay Kurt back on the sofa and kiss him silly, but that would probably upset Kurt in front of all these other students... Well, maybe not. Kurt’s touch embargo hadn’t applied to Blaine for months now, even before Blaine had made his move. Though, he saw Kurt jump with other people, or when he didn’t know it was Blaine doing the touching.
“What...” Kurt seemed shy, suddenly. “What are you thinking? Why are you looking at me like...?”
Blaine bit his lip, and Kurt seemed to understand. He set his coffee aside to quickly pack up his books, and then he reached for Blaine’s hand.
Blaine wasted no time following Kurt to wherever he deemed acceptable for this activity.
***
Between tea and soft singing, Kurt had managed to warble his Warbler to sleep, but the same seemed to be elusive for himself. Instead, he cuddled his Blaine from behind and hooked his chin over his shoulder, listening to Blaine breathe and taking in his scent.
He wondered if this would be considered inappropriate in his bed at home, and decided that while it wasn’t technically stuff going down in their tents, it probably was ‘inappropriate.’
Kurt lay there, in the same state of hopeful disbelief that he’d been in for most of the day. What if all of this evaporated into nothing? What if Blaine changed his mind as quickly as he had on Wednesday? Would Blaine, in a week’s time, give him a thumbs up and declare himself 100% not in love with Kurt? Would his affection wane when his life settled down and he no longer needed Kurt to lean on? And Kurt would have to just find ways to be okay with it again, and be more self-controlled around Blaine now that he’d tasted what he would miss, so they could move on with their lives without Kurt’s unwanted devotion to (obsession with?) Blaine ruining everything...
Kurt swallowed and pressed his face into the crook of Blaine’s neck and shoulder, telling himself to stop being so stupid and dramatic and just go to sleep. Blaine could occasionally be a flake. He could be distracted. He could be clueless. He could get fired up about something and then forget it within a few hours. But he wasn’t an asshole. He would never use Kurt for the stability a relationship provided... In part because Kurt could promise comfort but not necessarily anything that was stable. He was a roller-coaster personified. Also in part because Blaine would never use anyone.
When Blaine shifted, Kurt made room for him to do his toss or turn. Instead, Blaine looked to him with half-lidded eyes, and Kurt smiled, remembering Blaine’s amusement at seeing Kurt looking grumpy and sleepy the night before. Waking up with one another was one of the fun parts.
“Mm. Hey, beautiful,” Blaine said.
Okay, beautiful was quite the upgrade. Kurt was just being silly with all of this worrying.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” Blaine’s lips touched Kurt’s nose.
Kurt closed his eyes. “Mind won’t shut down.”
“What’s botherin’ you?” Blaine yawned and rolled over.
With their chests flush against each other, Kurt felt the blood rushing to his face. And... other places. Very quickly. Oh, dear Gaga. “I-I’m not sure this arrangement is very conducive to sleep.”
“Hm?” Blaine put his hand on Kurt’s hip and started kissing him. Soft, sweet, sleepy kisses over his neck... Blaine’s hand squeezed...
Kurt’s eyes widened, and he squirmed backward, just a hair too late.
Blaine laughed and rolled away from Kurt. “Sorry! Yeah, I guess I’m better at waking you up!”
Kurt launched himself out of the bed and hurried toward the bathroom. Blaine caught him around the waist before he got there and kissed the back of his neck.
“Don’t be embarrassed! It’s a complement. Who wouldn’t want to know that they get their boyfriend hot?”
“I need a cold shower now.” Kurt fanned his face and managed to laugh at himself.
“Was that what was keeping you awake? Should I take the other bed?”
The temptation was there to say yes and just put his irrational fears behind them, but Kurt couldn’t bring himself to lie to Blaine. Maybe ever again, after this last debacle. “No.”
“Can you tell me?”
“I can, but it would probably be better if I just stopped thinking about it.” Kurt looked back at Blaine. He felt guilty for injecting this uncertainty into their honeymoon period. Blaine had even just called him his boyfriend.
“Tell me. Give me a chance to make you feel as good as you’ve made me this week.”
“I just... I’m having a hard time understanding what you see in me, I guess. I’m no different than I was two days ago. I’m the same Kurt you didn’t think about going out with on Valentine’s Day. The same Kurt that acted like a complete ass about you dating a girl. The same Kurt that can’t do sexy to save his life. I don’t get why you suddenly want me, and that makes me nervous.”
Blaine was quiet for a long moment, but rubbed Kurt’s shoulders gently. Then he whispered, “I don’t think there was anything sudden about it, actually. I mean, if you ask everyone else, it was only a matter of time. But... You’re wrong about not being able to do sexy. I didn’t pick you to sing that song with me for no reason. You can do sexy. You do it without thinking all the time, and I hope telling you that doesn’t make you self-conscious. You just... You don’t like to think about yourself in that way, so when you’re asked to do it, it comes off as awkward. I understand that better now, and it’s okay. I won’t bring it up if it makes you uncomfortable, but don’t think you’re not sexy to me.”
“Oh.” Kurt had to remind himself to breathe.
“And you’re also wrong about you being the same, too. You’ve changed a lot since the day I met you, and maybe that was just the situation. You were going through so much... I didn’t see you as available then because I saw someone like I had been not that long ago, needing friendship and support more than anything else. I guess after that, I had trouble really seeing all of you.” Blaine laughed. “I think you’re kind of a BAMF, when you’re really yourself. But I was always very... fond of you, even if I couldn’t let myself love you.”
“Oh.” Kurt leaned into Blaine, hugged his arms around him, and smiled.
“Don’t even think about feeling bad about feeling insecure. When you said you’d thought I was going to ask you out on Valentine’s Day, it sort of blew my mind that you would want to date such a total goober... It still does.”
Kurt chuckled and kissed Blaine’s forehead. “You’re not a goober. You’re a romantic. I like that about you. It suits us.”
“I love the ‘us.’”
“I’m pretty fond of the ‘us’ myself.” Kurt pressed their foreheads together. “If... if you ever get insecure, too, then let me...” He took a breath. “Let me assure you that you are the most big-hearted, good-humored, thoughtful, silly, brave, optimistic ray of sunshine I have ever met. Dalton really shouldn’t pay their electricity bill. They can just take you from room to room, and everyone’s world will be that much brighter.”
“How can you say that when I’ve been a timed fountain this week?” Blaine made a spraying motion by his eyes several times.
“If I had a choice between an excitement-packed, over the top wonderful day in New York, during which I get inexplicably cast as the lead role in Wicked, OR a bad day with you... I’d take the day with you. Anytime.” Kurt caressed his cheek gently. “This has probably been one of the worst weeks of your life. Don’t diminish how hard it’s all been on you. But you haven’t lost yourself. You’re still you. The guy everyone can’t help but adore. I just hope that I’ve been able to help a little.”
“You’ve helped a lot. I mean, not telling me no last night was pretty nice, but the ABBA dancing, the cheerleading uniform, and everything else, too.”
“Good.” Kurt trailed his fingers down the side of Blaine’s face.
“Think you can sleep now?”
“Maybe. Let’s try.”
“I think we should declare our reasons for adoring each other every night before bed.”
“I wouldn’t say no to that. It could head off some of my ridiculousness.”
Blaine grabbed Kurt’s hips and tossed him on the bed. “Hey. You have to keep up with my ridiculousness somehow.”
Blaine then bounced down onto the bed and into Kurt’s open arms, and they cuddled together again. Their warmth mingled, and eventually they were both overcome with a deep and long awaited sleep.
***
Blaine was quite frankly amused that the Warblers didn’t seem to have noticed that anything had changed between him and Kurt. And really, not much had, except one thing, one very important thing, and that, well.
It changed everything. They still talked honestly about everything, thankfully. They still sat together whenever possible. They still did little things for each other, like pick up coffee for each other, or open the door, save a seat, fetch some notes from a study group. But even if their entire routine matched from Wednesday to Thursday, as though that glorious unending night had never happened, inside, Blaine felt irrevocably altered. He felt warm inside, and safer somehow. It was easy to give Kurt a little reassurance when he felt this way inside.
Friday afternoon, Blaine was struck by the thought that he wouldn’t be going home. He hadn’t finished his letter yet, his efforts being derailed by kisses on Wednesday night, and being so exhausted and behind on Thursday (and getting kisses in anyway). Now it was Friday, and he would be heading back to the Hummels... and he loved their family and their house, but it wasn’t his family, his sister, his mom, even his dad...
He was homesick.
And suddenly, Kurt had his hand on his leg and was looking at him with a little concerned frown. Their surroundings slipped away from him, and he leaned forward to touch their foreheads together and placed his hand over Kurt’s.
Also, those tender touches, the ones that had seemed awkward sometimes before... He got all of those he wanted. Kurt was eager to give.
Wes banged his gavel. “Can we get something in the official minutes? Warbler Blaine is touching Warbler Kurt inappropriately.”
The other Warblers started to bust up, and before Blaine could look up, one or two hands had slapped his back in approval.
“Well done, sir!” Thad cheered in a deep voice.
“You guys.” Kurt covered his face for a brief second.
Blaine just gave Kurt a big squeeze then looked around at his friends. “Who was placing bets?”
“I’m still mad at you,” Wes said in a serious tone. “I lost $20 when it turned out that you were interested in some Gap boy with bad hair instead of Kurt.”
“I am wounded that you would place monetary gain on my happiness!” Blaine exclaimed in mock dismay. But he was happy. Happy that he could lean on Kurt for a little bit while he caught his breath from his family drama, happy that Kurt thought so highly of him even after seeing his flaws up close and personal, and happy that his friends were so happy for them.
This week had truly knocked the wind out of him.
Endnotes:
Kurt's French- Mr. Depaul was not amused by his student sleeping in class.
BAMF- Bad Ass Mother Fucker
Next Part
Pairing: Klaine
Includes: coexisting crack, angst, and fluff
Warnings: misgendering, homophobia
Summary: Kurt tries to pass as a girl so that Blaine’s parents will be more supportive of their son... Naturally, this has to go well, right?
Author’s Note(s): Post Sexy AU. There are background pairings that are canon in the show, and they are sort of just uncritically there for the purpose of plot motion. I’d say that the POV is divided close to evenly among Kurt and Blaine, and then there are a few other cameo POVs.
Part One ♥ Part Two ♥ Part Three ♥ Part Four
Part Five
Kurt was in the middle of sucking on a popsicle when he locked eyes with her on the sidewalk in front of the school. It was, perhaps, the worst way to be caught in front of the homophobic woman you had fooled for weeks into thinking you were a girl while you hung around gaying up her son: With your lips wrapped enthusiastically around an oblong object.
Nimble like a gazelle, Kurt swiftly hitched his book bag over his shoulder, and tried to get into the crowd of students before Blaine’s mother caught him, but she was unburdened, and he had a load of heavy textbooks. She grabbed his shoulders and turned him around. He hoped his cheeks weren’t the cherry red of his lips.
“You go to his school,” she said in a heavy voice.
Kurt made no reply. The uniform made the answer obvious.
“You know where he is,” she tried again.
“He’s in class.”
Lea shook him, and Kurt dropped his popsicle. He swallowed, and then she let him go and ran a hand through her hair. “I don’t mean to scare you, I just... I just... Oh, my God.”
Her hands went to her face and tears started to pour down her cheeks.
“He’ll come back. Mrs. Anderson, he will. If you and your husband can prove to him that you’re going to try harder. He loves you both so much.”
“But he loves you more, right?” Her voice had turned bitter suddenly. “You’re why he left.”
“You made him feel like a stranger in his own home long before I fell into his life,” Kurt snapped. She looked up at him angrily, and he considered that maybe he should have kept silent for once in his life.
Instead, she wiped her eyes and shook her head. “I liked you. I really did.”
“Hm. Pity I’m a faggot, huh?”
It wasn’t so much that he wanted to get the last word in, but that he wanted to stop saying terrible things to Blaine’s mother, and that last one had caused a look of such shock and horror that Kurt just had to get out of there. One step, two, and then he was running back into the school.
***
Blaine saw Kurt slip into Warbler practice just as the Council started the meeting. He watched as his friend’s hands shook, and he didn’t pay attention to what the Council was saying in the slightest.
Even though they were talking about Kurt. And he should be super interested in this.
Blaine had been aware that when Wes had said, “We’ll talk about it,” he had given into being convinced by David, and it was only a matter of time before they started batting around song selections. This was fun to watch unfold. It was like watching, from the outside, how the the Council had talked about him at the beginning of the year, before they’d given him “Teenage Dream” to see what he could do with it.
“I’m thinking Brightman. Vocal Adrenaline is all pop/rock songs this year. They’ll go old school, but they probably won’t go Broadway. And we know that Kurt can do that with his wings tied behind his back,” Thad put in. “When we have that, then Blaine can rock the house on anything else we wanna do.”
“But do we want to have him go solo and back him up with some strong vocals, or do we want to do it as a duet?” Wes asked.
“I’m still gunning for at least one solo, but it depends on what we do for the second and third numbers. I’d like our leads to show a good range, and for us to show off our dancing as well, and we might want to go for some kind of thematic consistency,” David explained. He turned to Kurt. “Do you think you could do Christine from Phantom of the Opera?”
The Warblers looked to Kurt when he didn’t answer.
“Warbler Kurt?” Wes raised his voice.
“Oh! Sorry.” Kurt jerked his head up.
Blaine rushed over to him, alarmed by the red smear over his mouth. “Did someone hit you?”
“What? No... Oh, that was just a popsicle. Brody brought them to my study group.” He rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand, but the red lips stayed. His eyes creased with worry, then he muttered, “Your mom was outside looking for you. I don’t know if she’ll try to pull you out of class to talk to you or not.”
“Jeez ass,” Nick said.
“No, Blaine will know in advance,” Wes said. “The rules require parents to schedule visits. So that they can have the student available, theoretically.”
“What did she say to you?” Blaine sat next to Kurt. All the Warblers leaned in to listen. Even Wes set his gavel down.
Kurt put his hands on his knees and looked at Blaine with a troubled frown. “Does it matter? She misses you, that’s all. She wants to find you and talk to you.”
Blaine raised a brow. “What did you say to her?”
“Oh. Bad, bad things,” Kurt admitted unhappily.
Blaine looked up at the ceiling. He was sure whatever Kurt had said was brutally true, whether his mother liked it or not. He hoped she didn’t try to pull him out of school, although Wes was right. There were some hoops for her to jump through if his parents decided to do that, and he could probably avoid them.
“What can we do to help?” David asked, breaking the silence.
Blaine shook his head. There was no helping this.
“Can we just get back to work? I just... Let’s just work. It’s easier than waiting for something else to happen. The ball’s in their court right now, anyway.” Blaine rubbed Kurt’s back. “Solos. We’re talking solos, for Nationals.”
Kurt nodded and looked around at the other boys.
“Yours,” Wes said pointedly. “You know, if you happen to still be interested in that.”
Kurt’s brows shot up. Blaine smiled and settled into yet another distraction.
***
Tianna was thinking of changing her last name. Right now she was bouncing between Tianna Sun and Tianna Warbler. That way she and Blaine could both disown their parents and prance out into the world with fun stage names. She didn’t know exactly why Kurt sometimes called Blaine that, but the story had to be absolutely adorable, because everything those kids did was absolutely adorable.
She stepped into the Lima Bean where she was to meet her brother this afternoon, still wearing her uniform and her hair in pigtails. Funny how not seeing him for the past few days had seemed much more intolerable than any of their other separations. They both went to boarding schools, and hers was much more strict about campus leave (and she tended to get into trouble more often, which had the tendency to make a girl ineligible for leaving campus). She should be used to it, but this weekend, it had felt like he might really need her again, and she couldn’t be there.
After a quick search, she started to think that Blaine had flaked on her (which she could hardly blame him for), but then she spotted him slumped over in a booth with his fingers curled over his lips, biscotti and coffee untouched.
“Oh, baby.” Tianna slipped into the booth and wrapped her arms around him. Blaine was taller than her, but somehow he managed to curl up against her and seem like a tiny, kicked puppy.
“Missed you,” he muttered.
“I’ve missed you, too.” She rested her head on his and just held him for what seemed like a long while.
When Blaine finally spoke again, it almost startled her. “How’s Mama?”
“A mess. She and Dad are fighting about it... but this is good. I mean, out in the open is better, right?”
“I destroyed our family.”
“Pfft. No, you didn’t. You know that, right?” She paused for a long moment. “If anyone destroyed our family, it was me. Saturday night at dinner. When I told Mom and Dad that I’d rather eat pussy than choke down another home cooked meal seasoned with their bullshit.”
The smile that brought to her brother’s face was worth the yelling that had ensued. She’d totally said that. Tianna couldn’t help but wonder how her parents thought of Blaine as the problem child. Blaine had never been caught in a pregnancy scare with someone he’d been dating (hey, it happened with gay teens, too). He’d never smoked, cigarettes or... otherwise. He’d never failed a grade, or been busted for drinking. He never even swore in front of them. But him being gay was the like biggest deal ever to them.
“I can’t believe you’re letting your coffee get cold.” She grabbed the cup and took a sip.
“I should drink less of it.”
“But you love coffee.”
“I’d like to sleep again sometime, too.”
Tianna kissed his temple. “I can come by to sing you to sleep.”
“You can duet with Kurt on that. He may run out of Beatles songs to sing me soon.” Blaine rested his head back against the booth.
She smile at the image of Kurt singing her brother a lullaby. “What do you need? What can I do for you?”
“Being here to remind me I still have a family is a good start.”
She dipped the biscotti into the cold coffee then held it up so Blaine could take a bite. “I’m permanent. Don’t ever doubt it. No matter what happens with them, we have each other, like always, okay?”
Blaine wiped his mouth and pushed himself up a little. “I’d ask if you thought I should have handled it better on Friday, but I think I know your answer.”
“It shocked me, yeah, but not because you shouldn’t have yelled at them. You should’ve years ago. You’re just too well behaved.”
“I can’t talk to them the way you do.” He picked up the coffee cup and drank.
“I don’t think you have to. Not necessarily, but Blaine, you have to stand up for yourself. You can’t please everyone, y’know. Especially when you know what will please them just doesn’t work for you.”
“It’s not like that. They’re our parents. I couldn’t just tell them to go screw themselves!”
“No. But you could tell them how you feel.” Tianna pressed her lips together. “I know that’s hard for you. I know how much you care about them, about all of us. I just don’t want anyone taking advantage of you, especially not people who are supposed to look out for you. You’re my baby brother. I want to fight.”
“You always do.” Blaine bit his lower lip. “Sometimes I want to fight, too, but it’s hard to do on my own.”
“Then let us help you, dummy.” She gave his arm a light punch. “Me and Kurt, we got your back.”
“I know.” Blaine knocked back the last of the coffee. “How is Dad? I mean, do you think he’s going to change his mind at all?”
“Dunno. He’s been strange for the past couple of days. At first he didn’t even want to talk about you at all. I was afraid they were just going to pretend that you don’t exist like every other problem, but last night he was just sitting in your room. Alone, with the lights off.”
Blaine tilted his head the the side and narrowed his eyes. “Really.”
“And he was holding your Mushu plushie. Just staring at it.”
“That’s... weird.”
“He’s losing it. For real, now.” Tianna shrugged.
Blaine frowned deeply and stared into his empty cup. “He’s probably thinking about his big queer son singing “Reflection” at the seventh grade talent show.”
“Oh!” Tianna laughed and gave him hug. “Let me get you some more coffee. I drank half of yours.”
“Can I have a mocha?”
“Anything you want, sweetness.” She mussed his gelled hair until it stood up straight and then went to go stand in line as he struggled to comb it back into place with his fingers. In reality, she was a little afraid that this wouldn’t be resolved, and their mom or dad would try to grab Blaine outside of the school to make him come home, and then Blaine would really run. Just start driving aimlessly to who knew where, only to end up in the proverbial ditch that seemed to collect all stray teenagers.
That he had ended up at Kurt’s on Friday was hardly surprising, but a big relief. Blaine just sort of gravitated toward him, like it was a force of nature. Tianna had taken to singing or humming Jonathan Coulton’s “I’m Your Moon” around them to see if they’d noticed. Characteristically, Blaine seemed oblivious, and Kurt had started side-eyeing her whenever she did it.
She returned with Blaine’s sweetened liquid crack and petted the back of his head while he drank it. The least she could do for him right now was be a better big sister than she usually was, a big sister who actually acted like she had her shit together and could take care of things.
“I wasn’t joking, you know, when I told you we could get an apartment together,” she said. “I’m old enough to get one, and I’ll be out of high school soon enough. We don’t have to give into them.”
“That thought is a little overwhelming.” Blaine sipped his coffee again, then licked the whipped cream off his upper lip. “But we’d do okay together. You think? I don’t know if they’ll still want to pay for school, if I move out for real.”
“Then I’ll get a place in Lima and you can go to school with Kurt.”
Blaine frowned at her. “He’s not going back to the school there.”
“Oh, I’ll take care of that guy who was bothering him. What’s his face? Cartman or whatever?”
“You’re going to beat up Karofsky for us?” Blaine pinched his lips together in an amused expression.
“Taking care of someone doesn’t necessarily mean violence.” Tianna drummed her fingers on the table and looked off to the right thoughtfully. “But it could.”
“You know, I’m not normally a violent person, but there are days when I see Kurt jump at a loud slamming noise-- It doesn’t happen as often, but it does happen-- and I really just...” Blaine balled his fist on the table. “It really pisses me off.”
Tianna watched him and leaned on her hand. “You worry about him.”
“You know, I wouldn’t mind to go to another school, as long as I still got to see Kurt... and my friends.” He pressed his thumbs into the mug firmly.
Tianna blinked at the deliberate change in topic. That was a little strange for Blaine. As much as she had the urge to tease him about Kurt, because that was always super fun, she decided to let it drop and gently allow Blaine lead the conversation for the rest of their time together. Anything that would make him feel a little better while the two of them waited to see what would happen with their family.
***
Whatever designs Kurt’s father might have had to keep Kurt and Blaine from sleeping in the same room were rapidly being thwarted, mostly because there was no strict rule that boys couldn’t be in each other’s rooms after hours, just that they couldn’t have girls in their rooms, ever, and they had to knock off the noise after 7:00 p.m.
So there was nothing keeping Kurt from getting Blaine hot tea and staying there for hours and hours, until one or both of them drifted off. And that had been the norm so far that week.
When Kurt woke, he was in Blaine’s bed, curled around a blanket that had been draped over him, and Blaine was at his computer, writing something. He’d type for a while, then delete delete delete. Type more. Delete the whole thing. Get up, walk around. Go back to the computer and type again.
“What are you writing?” Kurt asked.
Blaine jumped like a startled cat. Kurt would say it was about a foot in the air.
“Dammit. I didn’t realize you’d woken up.”
“I have.” He sat up and rubbed his eyes.
“You look, um.” A silly grin spread on the Blaine’s face. Then he seemed to find something interesting on the other side of the room and gave it a third degree examination.
“I look?” Kurt blinked and folded his legs under him.
“LIke a little kid. All sleepy. In that big shirt.”
Kurt looked down. He’d changed earlier into a grey and red Ohio Buckeyes shirt that was actually too big for Blaine. He probably did look like a toddler in it.
“Well. You know me. Cute little penguin. I’m just adorable.” The words dripped acidic sarcasm. He hadn’t meant to sound so annoyed, but maybe it was the sleepiness.
Blaine came over to sit beside him, and combed his fingers through Kurt’s mussed hair. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Sorry. I’m just tired. Don’t worry about it.” He paused. “What are you writing?”
“You’re also tenacious like a little kid. You know that, right?” Blaine folded his hands in his lap. “I’m trying to write a letter to my parents. To tell them how I feel, and what I need from them.”
“Can I see?”
“No. Because I just deleted the last copy.”
Kurt got up and sat in his chair. He clicked the little ‘undo’ arrow.
“Sneak!” Blaine accused, jumping up behind him.
“Are you going to send this to them?” Kurt asked after skimming over the first part.
“I... I don’t know. I thought maybe if I had the words all planned out, I could talk to them, and I wouldn’t screw it up this time. No maybes, or I thinks, or anything soft. Just, this is how it is. This is how I feel.”
“Can I make a criticism?” Kurt looked over his shoulder at Blaine, frowning seriously. “And I’m saying this as someone who really cares about you.”
“I... I guess so.” Blaine back down on the bed.
“If you confront them face to face, you’re going to try to please them, and you’re going to hedge, and you’re going to look out for them more than you look out for yourself. Nothing is going to change, and you’ll still be unhappy. Write the letter and email it to them. If you try to talk to them, they’re going to emotionally manipulate you, and you’re going to let them. Because you’re you. Because you love them more than you love yourself.”
Blaine blinked at Kurt in stunned silence. Kurt touched the back of his neck and returned to reading over the letter. Maybe that had been too harsh.
“Will you help me finish the letter?” Blaine asked finally.
“I’d be happy to. But I’m more sharp-tongued than you are. Don’t let me make your letter mean.”
“You’re just angry with them because you think they’re damaging me.”
Kurt said nothing. He’d said enough to and about Blaine’s parents. Probably too much. He let go of the mouse and turned towards the other side of the room, where Blaine’s roommate was snoring blissfully. Kurt’s own roommate didn’t sleep so easily.
When Blaine’s hands touched his shoulders, Kurt tensed. He hadn’t meant to, but there was no reason to sneak up on him like that. Blaine was looking at him strangely.
“What is it?” Kurt asked. “We should... finish this letter...”
“I think it’s great.”
“The letter.”
“No. That needs work.” Blaine swallowed, and he tilted his head to the side as he watched Kurt’s nervous face. “Last Friday night, I told you I didn’t know if your crazy was great or terrible. I think it’s great. I think it’s wonderful.”
Kurt laughed softly.
“I think you’re wonderful.”
Kurt froze, blinked, couldn’t breathe. “Oh.”
***
Blaine’s mind was screaming at him. Telling him how much he was blowing this, how he was hurting Kurt by doing this now of all times, how he’d open his mouth again and the words would come out in an insolvable snarl.
Kurt’s face wasn’t moving. Normally every feeling was right there to read, which was why it was hard to believe that he hadn’t seen how much Kurt had cared before. Now it was painfully obvious that he was trying not to feel anything. Because that would mean he was taking their friendship the wrong way, again. Except…
Now he was absolutely right.
Blaine remembered Kurt’s words about the touching of fingers being intimate, and he reached forward, took Kurt’s long fingers, and rubbed them between his own tenderly, never losing sight of his eyes.
But he couldn’t speak. What was this?
Kurt spoke first. Bluntly, but gently, and with the hint of a smile, to humor Blaine, to let him off the hook for feelings Kurt couldn’t let himself believe Blaine had, “Blaine? What is this? What are you doing?”
“I’m trying... I’m trying to tell you. You mean so much more to me than you know. Than I knew, a few days ago. I think, somewhere, it never registered for me how strong you are, and... I don’t care if you are crazy, or determined, or mean, sometimes. You’re also brilliant and devoted and nurturing. It’s all part of this person who just... grounds me and at the same time shakes me up in a way that’s terrifying. And wonderful. You’re wonderful.”
Kurt’s eyes now searched Blaine’s face. Before Blaine could let more words tumble out of his mouth, Kurt brushed his fingers over Blaine’s cheek, wiping away a tear.
Then he leaned over and kissed his forehead. His hand cupping Blaine’s cheek in that delicate but protective way, he kissed Blaine’s nose. He looked at Blaine through his lashes, and when Blaine only smiled softly, Kurt kissed his lips.
It was awkward and amazing. They both went for the bottom lip at the same time, but then worked it out. Within a few minutes, Blaine was straddling Kurt in the chair, and Kurt was trembling but holding onto Blaine so tightly that he couldn’t believe that Kurt wanted to stop. Not yet, not yet.
They spent most of the night kissing one another. First in the chair, then on Blaine’s bed. Neat and sweet, sloppy and open-mouthed, then with Kurt’s dancing tongue slipping between Blaine’s lips, making him wonder briefly where his little baby penguin had learned to do that.
Thoughts like that were pushed away for more kisses, more caresses, more gazing at one another as they panted in each others’ arms.
***
The sun was starting to come up, and Kurt drifted between sleeping and waking, curled against Blaine with their faces touching.
“How am I going to tell your dad?” Blaine whispered to himself.
“Tell ‘im,” Kurt murmured, startling Blaine again. “Tell ‘im, you know how you got eyes?”
Blaine chuckled and kissed Kurt’s eyebrow. “What does that mean?”
“He said to me, before, ‘You know, Kurt. I got eyes. Anyone with eyes could see somethin’s going on with you two.’ And I said, no, no, Blaine doesn’t like me like that. Not at all.” Kurt yawned.
“Blaine’s a little slow.” He kissed Kurt’s head again.
“Maybe I’m a little fast. To fall, anyway.” Kurt took Blaine’s hand and let their fingers twine together. “It’s a little hard to believe I’m lying here with you... You know. Wanting me.”
Blaine answered him with another kiss, and Kurt could only smile.
“Well, whatever cheers you up,” Kurt managed breathlessly.
“Oh! Whoa!” Blaine’s roommate Zach exclaimed suddenly. They both turned their heads to him at once, and he held his hand up and looked away. “Okay. Dude. Uh. Just stay there, guys. I’m headed to the bathroom.”
“We’re clothed!” Kurt called after him.
Zach uncovered his eyes. “It’s really not fair that you can bring a guy over, but I can’t bring a girl. You know, just because you can’t get Kurt pregnant.”
“Sorry. I would have warned you, if I ever planned anything ever.” Blaine rolled onto his back.
Zach crossed his arms. “Hard night? I guess if I had girlfriend, I’d want her over to comfort me when my parents were being douches.”
“Kurt’s not a girl,” Blaine said sharply.
Kurt raised his brows and touched Blaine’s chest.
“Man.” Zach rubbed his forehead. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just gonna go get ready, okay? Sorry, Kurt.”
“We’re good, Zach.” He leaned over to pepper Blaine’s neck with kisses. Well-earned kisses.
***
Sometimes, Blaine bothered Kurt for no reason at all, and through his exhaustion today, he realized that there was an actual reason, and there had been for some time now. He came up behind Kurt in the study room and watched him for a moment, remembering other moments when he had watched him for seemingly no reason, then bothered him for just as little reason. Times when he would come up to him to tease him into singing, or just played with him until he smile that gorgeous smile of his.
It had been hard to watch Kurt so sad when he’d first come to Dalton. He’d hid it, but Blaine, as much as his head was stuffed with straw sometimes, could see the difference when Kurt was around him or talking to one of his friends on the phone, and when he was alone. Blaine knew then that he should leave him be, let him heal, and let him find his place here at Dalton, but the urge to dance up to him and make him smile was stronger than he was.
And Kurt had found his place eventually, anyway.
Kurt’s head dipped forward, and Blaine grinned, because for once he had a good reason to bother Kurt. He sat down next to him, bopped Kurt’s nose when he looked up with that adorable sleepy expression of his, and handed him a coffee.
“Hey there, little penguin.”
Kurt laughed quietly and accepted the coffee. “This little penguin is a little worn out.”
“I don’t know how I’ve managed to stay awake in my classes,” Blaine admitted. He drank his own coffee, and watched as Kurt noticed that he was drinking a mocha. They both were. Blaine hated to bring Kurt down to his level, but Kurt did like mochas, even if he usually avoided the extra calories.
“Monsieur Depaul n'a pas été amusé par son étudiant dormant dans la classe.,” Kurt joked. “How are you feeling today?”
“Tired.”
Kurt smiled slightly. “Not what I mean.”
“I dunno. Unbalanced, I guess.”
“We need to get you sleep tonight,” Kurt advised. “I asked my roommate if you could stay over tonight, and he said he’ll sleep in your dorm. I think Zach will appreciate it, too.”
“I don’t think that’s the problem.”
“No?” Kurt reached over to brush a little hair off of Blaine’s forehead.
Blaine’s heart did a little leap.
“I know there are other things going on, but I also think some sleep couldn’t hurt,” Kurt said.
Blaine nodded, and he put his hand on Kurt’s knee. He wanted to lay Kurt back on the sofa and kiss him silly, but that would probably upset Kurt in front of all these other students... Well, maybe not. Kurt’s touch embargo hadn’t applied to Blaine for months now, even before Blaine had made his move. Though, he saw Kurt jump with other people, or when he didn’t know it was Blaine doing the touching.
“What...” Kurt seemed shy, suddenly. “What are you thinking? Why are you looking at me like...?”
Blaine bit his lip, and Kurt seemed to understand. He set his coffee aside to quickly pack up his books, and then he reached for Blaine’s hand.
Blaine wasted no time following Kurt to wherever he deemed acceptable for this activity.
***
Between tea and soft singing, Kurt had managed to warble his Warbler to sleep, but the same seemed to be elusive for himself. Instead, he cuddled his Blaine from behind and hooked his chin over his shoulder, listening to Blaine breathe and taking in his scent.
He wondered if this would be considered inappropriate in his bed at home, and decided that while it wasn’t technically stuff going down in their tents, it probably was ‘inappropriate.’
Kurt lay there, in the same state of hopeful disbelief that he’d been in for most of the day. What if all of this evaporated into nothing? What if Blaine changed his mind as quickly as he had on Wednesday? Would Blaine, in a week’s time, give him a thumbs up and declare himself 100% not in love with Kurt? Would his affection wane when his life settled down and he no longer needed Kurt to lean on? And Kurt would have to just find ways to be okay with it again, and be more self-controlled around Blaine now that he’d tasted what he would miss, so they could move on with their lives without Kurt’s unwanted devotion to (obsession with?) Blaine ruining everything...
Kurt swallowed and pressed his face into the crook of Blaine’s neck and shoulder, telling himself to stop being so stupid and dramatic and just go to sleep. Blaine could occasionally be a flake. He could be distracted. He could be clueless. He could get fired up about something and then forget it within a few hours. But he wasn’t an asshole. He would never use Kurt for the stability a relationship provided... In part because Kurt could promise comfort but not necessarily anything that was stable. He was a roller-coaster personified. Also in part because Blaine would never use anyone.
When Blaine shifted, Kurt made room for him to do his toss or turn. Instead, Blaine looked to him with half-lidded eyes, and Kurt smiled, remembering Blaine’s amusement at seeing Kurt looking grumpy and sleepy the night before. Waking up with one another was one of the fun parts.
“Mm. Hey, beautiful,” Blaine said.
Okay, beautiful was quite the upgrade. Kurt was just being silly with all of this worrying.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” Blaine’s lips touched Kurt’s nose.
Kurt closed his eyes. “Mind won’t shut down.”
“What’s botherin’ you?” Blaine yawned and rolled over.
With their chests flush against each other, Kurt felt the blood rushing to his face. And... other places. Very quickly. Oh, dear Gaga. “I-I’m not sure this arrangement is very conducive to sleep.”
“Hm?” Blaine put his hand on Kurt’s hip and started kissing him. Soft, sweet, sleepy kisses over his neck... Blaine’s hand squeezed...
Kurt’s eyes widened, and he squirmed backward, just a hair too late.
Blaine laughed and rolled away from Kurt. “Sorry! Yeah, I guess I’m better at waking you up!”
Kurt launched himself out of the bed and hurried toward the bathroom. Blaine caught him around the waist before he got there and kissed the back of his neck.
“Don’t be embarrassed! It’s a complement. Who wouldn’t want to know that they get their boyfriend hot?”
“I need a cold shower now.” Kurt fanned his face and managed to laugh at himself.
“Was that what was keeping you awake? Should I take the other bed?”
The temptation was there to say yes and just put his irrational fears behind them, but Kurt couldn’t bring himself to lie to Blaine. Maybe ever again, after this last debacle. “No.”
“Can you tell me?”
“I can, but it would probably be better if I just stopped thinking about it.” Kurt looked back at Blaine. He felt guilty for injecting this uncertainty into their honeymoon period. Blaine had even just called him his boyfriend.
“Tell me. Give me a chance to make you feel as good as you’ve made me this week.”
“I just... I’m having a hard time understanding what you see in me, I guess. I’m no different than I was two days ago. I’m the same Kurt you didn’t think about going out with on Valentine’s Day. The same Kurt that acted like a complete ass about you dating a girl. The same Kurt that can’t do sexy to save his life. I don’t get why you suddenly want me, and that makes me nervous.”
Blaine was quiet for a long moment, but rubbed Kurt’s shoulders gently. Then he whispered, “I don’t think there was anything sudden about it, actually. I mean, if you ask everyone else, it was only a matter of time. But... You’re wrong about not being able to do sexy. I didn’t pick you to sing that song with me for no reason. You can do sexy. You do it without thinking all the time, and I hope telling you that doesn’t make you self-conscious. You just... You don’t like to think about yourself in that way, so when you’re asked to do it, it comes off as awkward. I understand that better now, and it’s okay. I won’t bring it up if it makes you uncomfortable, but don’t think you’re not sexy to me.”
“Oh.” Kurt had to remind himself to breathe.
“And you’re also wrong about you being the same, too. You’ve changed a lot since the day I met you, and maybe that was just the situation. You were going through so much... I didn’t see you as available then because I saw someone like I had been not that long ago, needing friendship and support more than anything else. I guess after that, I had trouble really seeing all of you.” Blaine laughed. “I think you’re kind of a BAMF, when you’re really yourself. But I was always very... fond of you, even if I couldn’t let myself love you.”
“Oh.” Kurt leaned into Blaine, hugged his arms around him, and smiled.
“Don’t even think about feeling bad about feeling insecure. When you said you’d thought I was going to ask you out on Valentine’s Day, it sort of blew my mind that you would want to date such a total goober... It still does.”
Kurt chuckled and kissed Blaine’s forehead. “You’re not a goober. You’re a romantic. I like that about you. It suits us.”
“I love the ‘us.’”
“I’m pretty fond of the ‘us’ myself.” Kurt pressed their foreheads together. “If... if you ever get insecure, too, then let me...” He took a breath. “Let me assure you that you are the most big-hearted, good-humored, thoughtful, silly, brave, optimistic ray of sunshine I have ever met. Dalton really shouldn’t pay their electricity bill. They can just take you from room to room, and everyone’s world will be that much brighter.”
“How can you say that when I’ve been a timed fountain this week?” Blaine made a spraying motion by his eyes several times.
“If I had a choice between an excitement-packed, over the top wonderful day in New York, during which I get inexplicably cast as the lead role in Wicked, OR a bad day with you... I’d take the day with you. Anytime.” Kurt caressed his cheek gently. “This has probably been one of the worst weeks of your life. Don’t diminish how hard it’s all been on you. But you haven’t lost yourself. You’re still you. The guy everyone can’t help but adore. I just hope that I’ve been able to help a little.”
“You’ve helped a lot. I mean, not telling me no last night was pretty nice, but the ABBA dancing, the cheerleading uniform, and everything else, too.”
“Good.” Kurt trailed his fingers down the side of Blaine’s face.
“Think you can sleep now?”
“Maybe. Let’s try.”
“I think we should declare our reasons for adoring each other every night before bed.”
“I wouldn’t say no to that. It could head off some of my ridiculousness.”
Blaine grabbed Kurt’s hips and tossed him on the bed. “Hey. You have to keep up with my ridiculousness somehow.”
Blaine then bounced down onto the bed and into Kurt’s open arms, and they cuddled together again. Their warmth mingled, and eventually they were both overcome with a deep and long awaited sleep.
***
Blaine was quite frankly amused that the Warblers didn’t seem to have noticed that anything had changed between him and Kurt. And really, not much had, except one thing, one very important thing, and that, well.
It changed everything. They still talked honestly about everything, thankfully. They still sat together whenever possible. They still did little things for each other, like pick up coffee for each other, or open the door, save a seat, fetch some notes from a study group. But even if their entire routine matched from Wednesday to Thursday, as though that glorious unending night had never happened, inside, Blaine felt irrevocably altered. He felt warm inside, and safer somehow. It was easy to give Kurt a little reassurance when he felt this way inside.
Friday afternoon, Blaine was struck by the thought that he wouldn’t be going home. He hadn’t finished his letter yet, his efforts being derailed by kisses on Wednesday night, and being so exhausted and behind on Thursday (and getting kisses in anyway). Now it was Friday, and he would be heading back to the Hummels... and he loved their family and their house, but it wasn’t his family, his sister, his mom, even his dad...
He was homesick.
And suddenly, Kurt had his hand on his leg and was looking at him with a little concerned frown. Their surroundings slipped away from him, and he leaned forward to touch their foreheads together and placed his hand over Kurt’s.
Also, those tender touches, the ones that had seemed awkward sometimes before... He got all of those he wanted. Kurt was eager to give.
Wes banged his gavel. “Can we get something in the official minutes? Warbler Blaine is touching Warbler Kurt inappropriately.”
The other Warblers started to bust up, and before Blaine could look up, one or two hands had slapped his back in approval.
“Well done, sir!” Thad cheered in a deep voice.
“You guys.” Kurt covered his face for a brief second.
Blaine just gave Kurt a big squeeze then looked around at his friends. “Who was placing bets?”
“I’m still mad at you,” Wes said in a serious tone. “I lost $20 when it turned out that you were interested in some Gap boy with bad hair instead of Kurt.”
“I am wounded that you would place monetary gain on my happiness!” Blaine exclaimed in mock dismay. But he was happy. Happy that he could lean on Kurt for a little bit while he caught his breath from his family drama, happy that Kurt thought so highly of him even after seeing his flaws up close and personal, and happy that his friends were so happy for them.
This week had truly knocked the wind out of him.
Endnotes:
Kurt's French- Mr. Depaul was not amused by his student sleeping in class.
BAMF- Bad Ass Mother Fucker
Next Part