Any body there?
So yeah, I haven't written anything in a while. Last quarter was really hard and it was really hard for me to be anything but negative, and I didn't think I really needed to spread that around the internet, so I didn't. Then life was just too busy. I spend about 10 hours of my day on the computer at work, another 3-4 hours a night in a classroom and by the time I come home for some reason I choose cuddling with my husband over catching up on my blog. Crazy I know. But for the most part, not much has happened, so it's not like you missed much.
Work~ is about the same. It's been pretty busy lately, which is stressful because the majority of my focus is on school and I'm having a hard time spreading my brain that thin. I only need to keep this balance up for a little while longer. I just hope I don't make a mistake or screw something up because seriously, it's getting just so hard to switch from workers' comp cases to Biological Psych and back again throughout the day. And sadly work is suffering. May not be the smartest, but at the same time, I didn't spend the last 7 years working my ass off for this degree to let it slip away in the last 10 weeks.
School~ I am in my final quarter of my undergraduate career. In some ways it is very surreal, in that it's really strange for me to imagine that next fall I won't be spending my evenings in a classroom or planning life around finals week. I honestly can't really imagine not. I've been doing it for so long. This quarter brings a Bio Psych class, not my first choice, but it was the only one that fulfilled the requirement and was in the right time slot. It's interesting, but I think I would have enjoyed Perception more. Oh well, at this point, I'm not crying over it, whatever it takes to get done. I'm also taking an online French Literature class. I was short a couple of overall units at Cal State (They require you have 180 at the school to graduate there, I would have had 176) It's a pretty fun class. It's a nice break from all the psychology and I'm expanding my horizons a bit by reading Voltaire and Sartre and so on. Although I feel like I should be sitting in a dark coffee house wearing a beret, petting a cat and smoking a cigarette.
And for the big class, the Psychology degree requires a Culminating Experience class; they offer one in each of the areas of psychology (developmental, clinical etc.). They only had one available in the late afternoon; a 6 unit lab class in clinical, not really my first choice, but the time it was offered made it my only choice. I got in by the skin of my teeth, and that story is for a whole blog post in itself. But I got in. Essentially we do a psych experiment and write the paper about it. Similar to what I did in the big class I had last quarter but a lot more hands on and a lot more work. Only one paper, but so far I've written only half and it's already twice as long as one full paper was in 311. It has been stressful to say the least. But I think having the finish line in sight now helps a lot.
Graduation~ it’s actually happening. I had my doubts for a while. But I passed all my classes last quarter with B's, not as good as I wanted, but at this point I don't care. And if these classes go well than I should actually be walking in 5 weeks. I already have my cap and gown and a license plate holder that says Cal State Alumni. Really weird. The problem is I have senioritis pretty bad. I am so over this. I can't believe there was a point that I thought I was gonna do this for a whole other year. My brain is done. My heart has moved on. Here is the list of things that I look forward to doing in the weeks beyond graduation and can't stop thinking about, making work and school that much harder:
Coming home after work
Sleeping in on the weekend without wondering if I'll have enough time to finish that paper
Cooking dinners
Seeing friends
Going on random day trips on the weekend
Going on vacation that isn't planned around school
Going out to dinner on a Tuesday night
Waste a few weekends/evenings catching up on all the TV shows I missed I the last 7 years
Buying a house
Getting pregnant
Getting organized
Decorating
Getting some furniture I like
Convincing Bart to stop clawing the crap out of my couch
Doing nothing
Spening the evenings with my husband
Seeing my husband
Getting back into shape
This list is in no particular order. Mainly I'm just ready to move on with my life. I actually get my BA in Psychology the day before I turn 30 years old, so I think graduation will be a great way to finish my 20's and lead me on to the next decade of my life. I am super stressed and overwhelmed right now, but I am so excited to move on the next part of my life.