(no subject)

[ladybramblerose]

i love him so much
what the crap am i thinking?
what am i so afraid of???
why am i so vain???
people are changing
people i thought i "knew"
everyone is changing for the worst
people are so evil nowadays
and vulgar and piggish
no one believes in anything anymore
people are losers anyways
i'm so lonely
i haven't taken my pills in a couple days
so alone
hell is hot
hell is eternal
i'm so selfish
i feel like crying
maybe i'm overtired?
but i feel like it's been building up inside
debating the impossible
i'm so lonely
i'm so lonely
i'm so lonely
i'm a blob of matter
i don't matter
i don't want to matter
i want everything and nothing
i want to stop being divided and confused
i'm sick of always analyzing myself
i wish i could just shut up forever
i miss him
what am i doing?
if i lie down, i won't sleep
i can't sleep
i can't do anything but just sit here
i'm so sick of being patient
but i'm afraid to live
i'm afraid
i don't hate myself
i'm so lonely
.