Looking For the Right Man
Title: Looking For The Right Man
Fandom: The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Characters: Tick, Bernice
Rating: PG 13 for Language
Setting: After Priscilla, and both my other fics.
Synopsis: Tick and Bernice discuss Adam and Tick's love life, or lack thereof.
~~~
Looking For the Right Man
Tick sat in the living room and thought about the last conversation he'd had with Bernice, about a year back, when he took Benji to visit his mum over summer holidays. They'd been making small talk about their lives, and the conversation had inevitably come around to Adam.
"So?" Bernice had said.
"So, what?"
Bernice smiled what could only be called a knowing smile, and looked though her lashes at Tick. "So, you two live together. Congratulations."
"Oh, come off it, it's not like that and you know it!" Tick angrily sucked on his cigarette. "Besides, we've been sharing a flat for what, five years? And you comment about this now?"
"Yes, but Kevin moved out last fall. So you're living together," Bernice smirked triumphantly.
Tick rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, Bernice, even if I wanted that kind of thing with Felicia," and here he added hastily, pointing at her with his cigarette, "which I don't, God forbid knock wood - I wouldn't have the chance!"
Bernice looked at Tick thoughtfully. "Why not? I think you're a fine boy. Wouldn't have minded a crack at you myself, only I found out that you do like the ladies after all too late..."
"I do NOT!" Tick erupted in mock outrage.
Bernice smiled thoughtfully, as if mentally weighing the decision to engage in this ritual, or get back to the point. In the end, she opted for tradition. "You like Marion," she said coyly.
"That," said Tick archly, "Is an entirely different sort of like. Anyway," he smirked, "Marion is about the other end of the universe from a lady." He favoured Bernice with a tender smile. "You are a lady. You deserve a gentleman. And," Tick's eyes flicked outside, to where Benji and Bob were having another endless Rugby discussion, "you got one."
Bernice glowed, and privately thought for the millionth time that there was in the universe living proof that "gentleman" and "drag queen" were NOT mutually exclusive. Which reminded her of her pet project.
"Anyway, Tick, why not? Why wouldn't you have a chance? I think you're selling yourself short..."
Tick laughed hollowly. "Oh, no, you've got it wrong. If anything I'm selling myself too long." At Bernice's politely puzzled expression, he sighed and continued "I have far too much class and taste to be the sort Felicia brings home. Moreover, I have to much...." Tick frowned, looking for the right word. "...continuity." Tick smirked again. "I'm there all the time, you see. I'm sure he'll get around to me eventually, I mean there's only so many fags in Sydney, and at the rate he goes, he'll use them all up."
Bernice sighed. "The sad part is, I know you're not being unfair. But Tick dear, did you ever consider that maybe he's just looking for the right man?"
Tick just looked at her skeptically, smirking.
"Oh, all right!" Bernice said testily. "I just..." She sighed. "Oh, listen to me, I'm defending that stupid little shit. Let him have his fun, I suppose, he'll be too old for it soon."
"Mmmm, that's another thing, I'm much too old for him."
"Don't you talk like that, Anthony Belrose!" Bernice said sharply. "You're still in your prime!"
Tick smiled. "Thank you, Bernice, but I am too old for him. Always was."
"True, true." Bernice waved her hand. "Anyway, enough about that little prat who can't recognize a good thing. What about you?"
Tick snorted. "What about me?"
"Well, I hate to use the phrase, but..." Bernice smiled sadly. "Why is your dance card so empty, Tick?"
A momentary flash in Tick's eyes told her what she was looking for before he banished it with a wry grin. "Well, maybe I'm just looking for the right man," he drawled.
Bernice rolled her eyes, but was smiling fondly as she did so. "All right, all right, I'll leave this alone." Her gaze gentled. "I hope you find him, Anthony. More importantly, I hope he finds you," she said softly.
"So do I," whispered Tick, not taking his eyes from Bernice’s.
...
Tick sighed, and brought himself back to the present. On reflection, he had the feeling that Bernice had known long before he did just why he never dated.
And it was stupid. Unbelievably stupid. He was right, Adam was hopeless, he'd never change.
He wasn't in love, dammit. He wasn't. He couldn't possibly be that stupid. He could go out and go to the bar and pick up anyone he liked, anytime he wanted to.
He just didn't want to.
Dammit.
Dammit, dammit, damn it!
Ticked sighed, and wished for the umpteenth time that he was straight, then got up and went to find Adam.
~~~
...and I went over 15 minutes again. Oh well.
This one is definately becoming a chapter of "Priscilla Rides Again" eventually. Either 2 or 3, most likely.
R&R please.
Fandom: The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
Characters: Tick, Bernice
Rating: PG 13 for Language
Setting: After Priscilla, and both my other fics.
Synopsis: Tick and Bernice discuss Adam and Tick's love life, or lack thereof.
~~~
Looking For the Right Man
Tick sat in the living room and thought about the last conversation he'd had with Bernice, about a year back, when he took Benji to visit his mum over summer holidays. They'd been making small talk about their lives, and the conversation had inevitably come around to Adam.
"So?" Bernice had said.
"So, what?"
Bernice smiled what could only be called a knowing smile, and looked though her lashes at Tick. "So, you two live together. Congratulations."
"Oh, come off it, it's not like that and you know it!" Tick angrily sucked on his cigarette. "Besides, we've been sharing a flat for what, five years? And you comment about this now?"
"Yes, but Kevin moved out last fall. So you're living together," Bernice smirked triumphantly.
Tick rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, Bernice, even if I wanted that kind of thing with Felicia," and here he added hastily, pointing at her with his cigarette, "which I don't, God forbid knock wood - I wouldn't have the chance!"
Bernice looked at Tick thoughtfully. "Why not? I think you're a fine boy. Wouldn't have minded a crack at you myself, only I found out that you do like the ladies after all too late..."
"I do NOT!" Tick erupted in mock outrage.
Bernice smiled thoughtfully, as if mentally weighing the decision to engage in this ritual, or get back to the point. In the end, she opted for tradition. "You like Marion," she said coyly.
"That," said Tick archly, "Is an entirely different sort of like. Anyway," he smirked, "Marion is about the other end of the universe from a lady." He favoured Bernice with a tender smile. "You are a lady. You deserve a gentleman. And," Tick's eyes flicked outside, to where Benji and Bob were having another endless Rugby discussion, "you got one."
Bernice glowed, and privately thought for the millionth time that there was in the universe living proof that "gentleman" and "drag queen" were NOT mutually exclusive. Which reminded her of her pet project.
"Anyway, Tick, why not? Why wouldn't you have a chance? I think you're selling yourself short..."
Tick laughed hollowly. "Oh, no, you've got it wrong. If anything I'm selling myself too long." At Bernice's politely puzzled expression, he sighed and continued "I have far too much class and taste to be the sort Felicia brings home. Moreover, I have to much...." Tick frowned, looking for the right word. "...continuity." Tick smirked again. "I'm there all the time, you see. I'm sure he'll get around to me eventually, I mean there's only so many fags in Sydney, and at the rate he goes, he'll use them all up."
Bernice sighed. "The sad part is, I know you're not being unfair. But Tick dear, did you ever consider that maybe he's just looking for the right man?"
Tick just looked at her skeptically, smirking.
"Oh, all right!" Bernice said testily. "I just..." She sighed. "Oh, listen to me, I'm defending that stupid little shit. Let him have his fun, I suppose, he'll be too old for it soon."
"Mmmm, that's another thing, I'm much too old for him."
"Don't you talk like that, Anthony Belrose!" Bernice said sharply. "You're still in your prime!"
Tick smiled. "Thank you, Bernice, but I am too old for him. Always was."
"True, true." Bernice waved her hand. "Anyway, enough about that little prat who can't recognize a good thing. What about you?"
Tick snorted. "What about me?"
"Well, I hate to use the phrase, but..." Bernice smiled sadly. "Why is your dance card so empty, Tick?"
A momentary flash in Tick's eyes told her what she was looking for before he banished it with a wry grin. "Well, maybe I'm just looking for the right man," he drawled.
Bernice rolled her eyes, but was smiling fondly as she did so. "All right, all right, I'll leave this alone." Her gaze gentled. "I hope you find him, Anthony. More importantly, I hope he finds you," she said softly.
"So do I," whispered Tick, not taking his eyes from Bernice’s.
...
Tick sighed, and brought himself back to the present. On reflection, he had the feeling that Bernice had known long before he did just why he never dated.
And it was stupid. Unbelievably stupid. He was right, Adam was hopeless, he'd never change.
He wasn't in love, dammit. He wasn't. He couldn't possibly be that stupid. He could go out and go to the bar and pick up anyone he liked, anytime he wanted to.
He just didn't want to.
Dammit.
Dammit, dammit, damn it!
Ticked sighed, and wished for the umpteenth time that he was straight, then got up and went to find Adam.
~~~
...and I went over 15 minutes again. Oh well.
This one is definately becoming a chapter of "Priscilla Rides Again" eventually. Either 2 or 3, most likely.
R&R please.