Fanfiction: Fear in a Handful of Dust ( 9/?)

Jun 30, 2011 14:25

Title: Fear in a Handful of Dust (9/?)
Author:  lady_slayer 
Rating: T
Pairing: Damon/Elena,
Category: Hurt/comfort
Summary:Be careful what you wish for, or it might actually happen. Lives will get turned upside down, hearts get broken and everything is NOT the way it should be. Also... nothing good EVER came of a wish that starts with "I wish you could..."!
Warnings: A little blood, a bit more foul language, but nothing TOO bad.
Show/Bookverse: Show
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. And the title is from “The Waste Land” by T.S. Eliot
Spoiler: A few, I guess... but I don't really pick up on the actual show-plot, I just use a few newfound charactertraits (and new characters, like Elijah).

So... I’m back with a new chapter, and this one was actually easier to write than the last two... might be because of the Delena scene at the end o.O.

As always, thanks to my incredible beta AVECIA, who is amazing, and the only reason I’m brave enough to post my stories^^. Also, I LOVE you lovely readers and reviewers... just KEEP on reviewing, I love you all for it!

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything ‘bout TVD, I just play with them for fun!


On with it!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Stefan had left quite some time ago to ‘make sure everything was alright with the girls’. The explanation was, of course, utter bullshit... in reality, his brother just needed an excuse to be a creep. Seriously, the girl was in the same room with a witch and a vampire, not to mention that she was a member of the undead faction herself right now. If there ever was a time that Stefan wasn’t needed, it was now. But it wasn’t his place to tell Stefan that (fuck his humanity and the fact that it had brought his conscience back with it; he wouldn’t usually be caught dead, well dead-er, thinking about what he should or should not say). So now he was alone at the Boarding House, and bored half to death. And that on top of everything else, was not the best mix; at all. And then he had realized something he should have at least two days ago; he finally could get really drunk again. And stay that way, for more than a few minutes at the time. So he took a few bottles of his favourite Bourbon with him to his room, and had a little party with himself.

Now though, he started to think that it might not have been his best idea. The room kept on spinning around him, and his thoughts were a jumbled mess; he had forgotten that being drunk was not only fun, but also quite... disturbing, sometimes. He kept mixing up past and present, Elena and Katherine, human life with vampire existence. Everything blurred together, and try as might, he couldn’t pick it apart again. And all these fucking emotions that kept on coming just to hassle him... he had been without feeling for the better part of a hundred and forty-six years. True, those feelings started to show again in the last few months, but most of them had still been safely tucked away in a dark corner of his mind. Now though, everything was right there, like acid (or vervain), burning its way through his veins.

Another thing about drunkenness, though? You had a really short attention span, so he forgot about his thoughts nearly immediately, jumped to another screwed up topic and as a new song started to play, he threw his hands in the air, and danced along to it.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Elena was starting to realize that, yes, vampires could indeed get a headache. She had thought the first day had been bad, when everyone kept on talking over the other, throwing in their opinion about what had happened. But now, even though only Bonnie, Caroline, Stefan and Elijah were there, it was even worse. There was no easy sarcasm from Elijah’s side... in truth, he looked like he wanted to rip a throat (or a heart) out or... throw a damn temper tantrum. Whatever the case, he clearly was on edge right now. Stefan looked even moodier than usual (and she really had to stop thinking like this about him... it was as if Damon was sitting in her head, feeding her not-so-nice thoughts about his brother), Caroline kept on babbling how cool it was that Elena had visited a place that Brat Pitt only saw in a movie studio, and Bonnie was trying to find an explanation for why Elena had gotten a glimpse into the past. Sure, it might have something to do with the spell, or with her being the doppelganger or a mix of both... but somehow, Elena thought that hard to believe. She had no idea why she thought that way but... something told her, that there was something else still, not yet considered by any of them.

Now, if she only knew what that was, she could maybe stop her brain from going in circles. She couldn’t help but hope that Damon would saunter in the door right about now... he always had been good at bringing order into her head; or at the very least, change her train of thought entirely. But she instinctively knew he wouldn’t. She hadn’t asked how Stefan had been there so fast, but she suspected that he had been lurking around her house (again with the unflattering thoughts...); he did that, sometimes. Promising her a little time for her friends and herself, and not keeping his promises. Damon on the other hand... well, Damon had proven to be a huge pain in the ass more often than not, but he was a man of his word. Most of the time, at least; she wouldn’t include the compulsion incident right now, she had enough on her mind as it was and....

“Fuck that!”

All eyes were immediately on her, and she realized she had talked out loud. But she didn’t care though; not really. She had enough of this evening already. It was supposed to have been girl’s night, and it was obvious that it wouldn’t get back to that tonight. She had no intentions to sit around her kitchen, and discuss all the might be’s right now.

“I’m going out, don’t wait up. Just... leave everything as it is, I’ll clean up tomorrow. See you around - hopefully when you’re not all wound up about a single little... vision, or whatever this was. Bye.”

And just like that, she blurred out the door, not even caring that she was wearing an old shirt of her father’s and washed out, gray sweatpants. Damon wouldn’t care what she wore anyway.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Elena had been out the door before anyone was able to say something, surprising all of them with her attitude.

While the girls (and Elijah) still had huge question marks on their faces though, Stefan had to pretend to take a sip of his tea to hide his grin behind the cup. He knew without a doubt where Elena was headed then. It had been like this for months now (he still had no idea how he had been able to not see that sooner); every time when her life took another unexpected turn, Elena went to Damon for... comic relief, support, easing her conscience... whatever it was, Damon had helped her. It hadn’t been unusual to find the two of them in the Boarding House parlour, just sitting and staring into the fire, or eating in the kitchen... sometimes they just sat on his bed, watching an old black-and-white movie. Whatever it was, it always had this calm and content feeling about it. Usually these moments had brought a burst of jealousy to his mind, but not anymore.

Now that Stefan had been able to let go of Elena... now that he saw that his brother and girlfriend fit together so eerily well... now he felt at peace with all he knew, with what was sure to happen.

But better late than never, right? At least, one good thing had come out of this down-the-drain attempt at a girl’s night - Elena and Damon had a chance to be all alone, without him in the house. Maybe they could manage to confess their feelings to the other all by themselves, without too much interference from him...

Yeah, right; as if that would happen. Snorting (and promptly raising suspicious glances) he shook his head, knowing that that was just wishful thinking. Maybe they would talk the other into madness, or just... finally fall into bed (and not the movie-watching variety). But to confess what they felt? No, that would take some meddling still.

He thought that, maybe, he should stop for a moment, and think about how strange it was that, out of nowhere, he suddenly was able to step back and let Damon have the girl. And even better, he was helping him to get her. But he realized quickly that there would be no sense in dissecting his motivations... it had always been like this; when his mind was made up, he did everything to get what he wanted. So, whatever. He would make time to think about all of that when it was over and done with.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

She could hear the music even before she had opened the door to the Boarding House, and as she did open it, she had to force herself to keep her hands at her side, instead of pressing them over her ears because, god damn, how could Damon stand this? He always heard music this loud... even before they switched, and he always seemed to enjoy it. Yeah, the man was obviously crazy, with a capital C. Seriously; her eardrums were in danger of bursting!

Still, she had to smile... typically Damon. She looked around the parlour, but the only thing she could see, was a bowl half-full with... fruit salad. That got another smile out of her; it really was cute, how much he enjoyed only needing human food. As she got over her sentimental moment, she sped up to his room, and promptly turned the volume down to an acceptable level. Only then did she turn around to look for Damon - who had stopped mid-dance, hands still up in the air, shirt open, and jeans sinfully low on his hips. His pupils were dilated, and he had a thin layer of sweat on his body. His hair was in more disarray than usual, and his face, right down to his chest, was flushed. His breath came out in harsh bursts, and now that the music wasn’t blaring in her ears anymore, she could hear the erratic pumping of his heart.

She never had been this turned on in her whole life.

Elena had come here to think about something other than all her problems, and sure, she had accomplished that. But at the same time, her impromptu visit had opened a whole new can of worms.

She never was under any illusion that Damon wasn’t... good-looking, handsome... sexy, or whatever other adjective you wanted to use. But she had managed to see it, and not fall victim to it at the same time. Right now though... right now, he really looked like the man she always knew he was capable of being. She knew that it probably didn’t make any sense, but she could see the good he had been hiding under all those layers and masks, shining right out through his eyes.

It was frightening, how much had changed in just a few days. Before she came rushing to the Boarding House, all righteous anger and disappointment, she was content in telling herself that it was Stefan for her... always had been, always would be.

But then she woke up with a raging thirst for blood, and a whole new view of the world - figuratively, as well as literally. Damons memories, and her own out-of-whack feelings on top of that all... it made her stumble, stop, and reconsider. She still loved Stefan, very much so. But she knew without a doubt that it was virtually over between them because... when she thought about him, she did in the same context she thought of Bonnie, Caroline, or even Jeremy. Love, sure; but not the romantic kind, not the kind that made butterflies go wild in your stomach, and made you grin so broad that your face was in danger of splitting apart. No it just... over time, the passion had cooled off, and she was left slightly cold, even while in his embrace. Looking back now, she could see that they had lacked a few things from the beginning. Sure, they had been in love, and there was passion... but besides from keeping a diary, there was not much else they had in common. Sure, there was not all that much that she and Damon shared interests in either; but where she and Stefan just drifted along beside each other, trying to not see that they just didn’t fit right, she and Damon either balanced each other out, or spurred each other on.

They could forget reality for a few precious moments, or drown in it, while making sure they gave each other the needed breath to stay alive. And with him, she always felt alive and on fire. Stefan... Stefan made her feel safe and sheltered, but often that meant that she also felt caged in.

Damon never tried to coddle her, never had been afraid to get in her face and call her on her shit. He matched her step for step.

By now, he was busying his hands, trying to close the buttons on his shirt; he looked strangely shy and vulnerable. He had good reasons for that, she thought... she had tried to eat him only a couple of short days ago, after all. And he was drunk, obviously. But tonight, everything was crazy. Her life was spinning, dancing circles around her, making her dizzy as hell, and she was beginning to forget all the reasons why she shouldn’t take what she wanted... what she knew they both wanted.

“You’re in love with me. You said so, even though you made me forget again.”

His fingers stopped their fumbling, but his eyes were still trained on them, not daring to look at her.

“This is not the right time to have that particular discussion.”

His words were slurred; just slightly, just enough to be detected, but still. It was kind of endearing, to see him so incredibly human, and she couldn’t help but think that, this spell? The best thing that happened all year.

“Why not? We’re here, alone, and nobody will interrupt us. So?”

“So, I’m drunk, not in my right mind and you... well, you’re you. Reason enough to.not.have.this.conversation.”

She smiled at that... human and drunk, but Damon was still Damon. She was relieved to see that. In a burst of speed she was in front of him, taking his hands in hers. He looked up at her then, blinking a few times to get her face to come into focus.

“Freaky vampire speed. When we’re back to normal... remind me not do that to people anymore. It’s unsettling and... and I should shut up. I always talked too much when I was drunk. Back when I was huma...”

Elena rolled her eyes and shut him up the best way she could think of - pressing her lips over his.

For a moment his eyes widened, and he stood still as a statue. But then he relaxed, closed his eyes and just simply let the moment be. Soon his hands were buried in her hair, pulling her closer into his chest.

He tasted of whiskey, fruit salad and... and something she couldn’t quite place. But that was okay, there was no need to, anyway. She just wanted to enjoy the moment, live in the here and now.

So she pushed him backwards, until the back of his legs met his bed. As she pushed him down onto it, he looked up at her questioningly. Just as he opened his mouth - probably to say something stupid, something to try and get her to reconsider, she shook her head and placed a gentle hand on his cheek.

“Don’t ask me if I’m sure. Forget about the consequences; forget about my friends, and about Stefan. Just... we both want this. Wanted it for a long time, and I’m just so very tired of always doing what people expect me to do. So don’t try to...stop this, please?”

For a moment she thought he would ignore her words, and talk them both out of it. But then that grin... the one that always made her a little weak in the knees was back, and she knew that he understood; knew that she had won.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

And then their lips met again, and they forgot everything else. Doppelgangers, spells, friends and family.

It was just them, and the fire that spread where skin met skin.

Tonight they wanted to burn; bright and hot. And so what if they burned the whole world down in the process? They would just dance on its ashes.

Xoxoxoxox

Right. I guess it’s safe to say that Stefan and Elena are over in this story... Finally! Now, please just let me know what you think of this chapter... I think it turned out okay, but I’m not sure, so... click on the little button below and leave me a few words? Please?

So long,
Lady

fear in a handful of dust, vampire diaries, fanfiction, damon/elena

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