Fanfiction: Fear in a Handful of Dust ( 7/?)
Title: Fear in a Handful of Dust (7+8/?)
Author: lady_slayer
Rating: T
Pairing: Damon/Elena,
Category: Hurt/comfort
Summary:Be careful what you wish for, or it might actually happen. Lives will get turned upside down, hearts get broken and everything is NOT the way it should be. Also... nothing good EVER came of a wish that starts with "I wish you could..."!
Warnings: A little blood, a bit more foul language, but nothing TOO bad.
Show/Bookverse: Show
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. And the title is from “The Waste Land” by T.S. Eliot
Spoiler: A few, I guess... but I don't really pick up on the actual show-plot, I just use a few newfound charactertraits (and new characters, like Elijah).
Back again^^. … well, anyway: I finally decided on a plotline - other than the fact that I changed Damon and Elena around a bit, I now actually know the story between this point, and the last scene I have in my head. And a good thing, too!
Now: Thank you, my dear AVECIA, for your wonderful (as always) help! You’re the BEST beta I can hope for! And also, thanks to my lovely readers and reviewers… you all make me all happy and ridiculous! Can’t get enough of those awesome reviews of yours!
On with it!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Chapter 7
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Elena found a certain irony in the fact that, for her, time seemed to have sped up. Because if the attempt to return Damon and her to normal was to fail, time would lose its importance… she would literally have forever at her disposal.
But as it was, time was acting like a bitch, because even though a glance at her watch told her that she and Damon had held on to each other for nearly half an hour, it felt like not even a few minutes had gone by. She let go of him anyway, because... well, because of many things, really. First, there was the fact that she felt way too good, clinging to him like that; also, if anyone were to walk in on them right now, they could easily come to the wrong conclusion. Or, even worse... come to the wrong conclusion only to realize that it was actually the right one. Ever since she woke up as a vampire, she was completely off balance. Not literally of course - with her improved senses, she could probably do back flips on a high wire right now. But her feelings were all over the place. Some things felt far away and dulled - her fear of what might happen to her, the grief over the death of her parents, the guilt of pulling all of her friends in this supernatural chaos that was her life.
But on the other hand, there were things that were so heightened; she had no idea how to deal with them. There was her love for Stefan that, with every passing hour, felt more and more like what she felt for her brother. The disappointment in Bonnie… she had been her best friend since they were only five years old, and still she denied her the courtesy to trust her judgment (mostly considering Damon). Then there was the ache inside her heart every time she thought about Caroline… sweet, naïve, obsessive, neurotic Caroline. Caroline, whose dream had been to find some glamorous job, have a loving husband and a family - the perfect white-picket-fence life. Now, she would forever be stuck in her 17 year old body, never growing older, never able to have children of her own, always destined to leave after a few years. And lastly… there was Damon. As if it wasn’t enough that she had problems discerning the feelings she had for him normally… now she even had some of his memories, and she knew exactly how he felt… it was all more of a rollercoaster than she had ever thought possible.
Standing in front of him now, still feeling his embrace everywhere on her being, she was more confused than ever.
Sighing, she drew her fingers through her hair and shook her head.
Damon just stood there, watching, waiting for her to get her act back together. He was good like that… seeing when she needed a little time and space, or when she just had to be pushed a little bit. Finally she had a reign on her thoughts and feelings again, and cast a rueful smile in his direction.
“I’m sorry about that I’m just a little…” … lost for words, or so it seemed. She didn’t even know how to pack into words what she desperately wanted him to know - because she needed him to understand.
“You’re lost, is what you are. You’re practically a new vampire - your emotions and thoughts are bound to be a little overwhelming right now. And I guess that you having memories of what I used to be like… well, that can’t really help, right?”
Like always, he seemed to understand perfectly where she came from. It had always been like this. With Stefan, she always felt the need to explain everything; to justify her actions and words, to try to be as perfect as possible. With Damon on the other hand…. She never had had a problem with letting him see the ‘dark’ side of her. Anger, sadness, even hate. Or that one time in Atlanta… when she had allowed herself to let loose for a little while - to be fun-Elena again.
Stefan might have picked up and put the pieces that was her world back together, but Damon had been the one to seal up the cracks, and make the picture whole and blemish-free again.
“Yes, I’m… confused, I guess. I have all these… mixed feelings, and I don’t really know what to do about them. It was hard to ignore them before, but now… it nearly impossible. And I’m afraid that I might just snap and… I don’t know, do something stupid. Like kill someone.”
The last sentence was said with a clear disgust there in her voice - and even if it wasn’t, Damon knew her well enough to be ninety percent sure that she wouldn’t do it (the last ten percent… well, she kind of had a little temper if you pissed her off just enough. Hence this whole… species changing disaster).
“Nah. Don’t think you have it in you. The killing part, I mean. I’m quite positive that you are very capable of doing stupid things though… you did try to hand yourself over to Klaus, after all.”
And just like that, the tension in the room was broken again. Elena rolled her eyes, made an exasperated sound and hit his shoulder (careful not to put too much strength behind it… he could end up with a broken shoulder otherwise. God, this really was fucked up.).
“Thanks a bunch… so glad to know that you have me aaaaall figured out. Now, I have to run. Caroline said something about girl-time, neglecting our friendship, and loads of unhealthy food. She also invoked the pact of the sisterhood… and nobody can get out of anything when that happens.”
Damon blinked a few times and cocked his head to the side. Nope, it still made no sense…
“The pact of the sisterhood? Do I even want to know what you’re talking about?”
Elena made an effort to look like she was thinking about it before she answered.
“Uhm… no, I really don’t think so. It involves oaths and promises and… well. Just… it’s a girls thing that goes way beyond understanding even the supernatural, I guess. Never mind. I’ll come by tomorrow again, if that’s okay?”
“Fine with me. I make sure to tell Stefan so he’s at home then.”
For a moment she was really tempted to tell him to not bother. But then she remembered (how the hell had she even forgotten in the first place?) that Stefan was her boyfriend, and that he should be the reason she came here.
“Right, Stefan. You tell him that, yes. Well, bye then.”
And with that, she sped out of the Boarding House, not even daring to look back once.
If she would have though, she would have seen that Stefan was leaning on the wall just outside of the kitchen; would have seen the longing glance that Damon threw her way, not even trying to hide it.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Stefan shook his head… he knew that both his brother and Elena where stubborn as hell but… this was just ridiculous. Sure, if he had any say about it, he would want Damon to not love her… and vice versa. But with the way things were, all he could do was to accept the truth as it was - the truth that those two were probably perfect for each other. Elena could keep Damon attached to his human side, could get him back onto the ground if he got in over himself again. And Damon had always been able to wake something in Elena… something primal - beautiful and frightening at the same time. She had so much fire in her. Enough to burn anyone who would dare to get too close. But he had a feeling that Damon would just laugh, embrace her, and tell her to burn even brighter.
So, if even he could see it, why in the hell didn’t they? He knew perfectly well that at least Damon was aware of his feelings for Elena - ignoring the fact that she feels just the same thing, but still. Only, for some reason, he had decided to act decent - for once in his undead life - and step back. It seemed that his brother had the same bad timing that he himself had. Figures… the one thing they really had in common (other than the fact that they seemed destined to always fall for the same girl, of course) was bad timing.
And Elena… well, at least she wasn’t too stubborn to just act on her feelings. No, she was just ignoring them. He had to do something about that… if those two couldn’t get their act together on their own, someone would need to help them along. And quite obviously, that someone was going to be him and… and he had just planned on playing matchmaker for his girlfriend and his brother. Great, just… shaking his head again, he headed up to his room to put together a plan of action. If he wanted to act like a madman, the least he could do was doing it with coordination.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Left alone again, Damon was at a loss at what to do. But then he remembered his half-done lunch and went to turn the heat on the stove back on. He was just going through the motions - adding sliced vegetable and spices on autopilot. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had missed something.
First they had been talking about those memories she had of him, then about feelings, of all things. And still he felt as if he had missed the topic entirely. Clearly she had been talking about Stefan… that she loved him, and couldn’t decide on whether she wanted to turn - and share forever together with his brother - or stay human. Still deep in thoughts, he finished cooking, put everything on a plate, and started to eat. Normally, he would have acted like a fool and cherished every single bite, just like he had the last two days. But right now, all he could to was to dissect his conversation with Elena, trying to find out what he had missed there.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
“Tell me again, why exactly are you dragging me to go shopping for junk food with you?”
Elena had to giggle as she saw the way he looked at the contents of her shopping cart. Popcorn, Chips, Pretzel Stick, loads of hard candy, ice-cream… he shook himself, just thinking about eating all that stuff.
“There will be three of you, right? You, Miss Forbes and your little witch friend. You will never be able to eat all that. And this mix of sweet and salty is… it’s nauseating!”
This time she wasn’t just giggling, but full out laughing.
“Oh, believe me; we’re going to eat all that. And after we’re done, we’re probably going to order Pizza or Chinese. Whatever we’re in the mood for.”
He just looked at her as if she suddenly had grown another set of arms and legs, clearly doubting her words.
“Oh, come on! All that is just… comfort food! We’re going to paint each other’s nails, do our hair and gossip till our tongues are all fuzzy. Then we’re going to watch some romantic comedy. And while we do all that, we eat. We’re not even going to notice that our pile is dwindling until it’s gone. Hence, the need for us to call delivery service. It’s girl’s night, Elijah. It’s the one time we are allowed to eat and eat and eat, without thinking about the weight we’re going to gain!”
Still shaking his head, he simply gave up. There was no reasoning with this girl when she was acting like this. And actually… it wasn’t like she was going out to try to hand herself over to Klaus again. Better she stuffed herself full of this… garbage, than the alternative.
“If you want to be specific about it… you can’t even gain any weight at the moment. You won’t change one bit until you’re… you again.”
Her grin broadened at that (he had no idea that would be even possible before he saw it happening in front of his own eyes) and she turned around on her heels to get even more ice-cream. He never understood the female obsessiveness with their figures.
There were days on which he really wondered what he was doing here. That girl just… shook everything up. He hated changes in his life, and still… since he met her, he found himself constantly bending backwards to please her.
He wished he could blame the Petrova blood on it - it would make it far easier for him to stay detached. But in reality… in reality it wasn’t the blood alone, it was the fact that after seven doppelgangers before her, she was the first one that reminded him of the Original Petrova.
The same fire and passion; a heart so big the entire world might as well find a place in it, always willing to find the good in a person. She had been just like that, the first one. She, too, always held her head high, never afraid of consequences, if the people she cared about where safe in the end. And she had sacrificed so, so much for it. Everything she ever had dreamed for herself, gone like water through her fingers. But she had done so gladly, because it had helped the greater good. In the end, she had lost her life because of it, still with a smile on her face. And all that, because this man had wanted her for himself before he ever even met her. Just because he had heard of her beauty.
And history was just about to repeat itself, all over again. Only this time, there were even more players in the game, and they had the resources of vampires, werewolves and witches to fight, instead of bow and arrow and a sword. And just like last time, it was all because of one woman.
Elena, who took the place of Alyona… his beautiful Alyona. His wife.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
On to chapter 8
Author: lady_slayer
Rating: T
Pairing: Damon/Elena,
Category: Hurt/comfort
Summary:Be careful what you wish for, or it might actually happen. Lives will get turned upside down, hearts get broken and everything is NOT the way it should be. Also... nothing good EVER came of a wish that starts with "I wish you could..."!
Warnings: A little blood, a bit more foul language, but nothing TOO bad.
Show/Bookverse: Show
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. And the title is from “The Waste Land” by T.S. Eliot
Spoiler: A few, I guess... but I don't really pick up on the actual show-plot, I just use a few newfound charactertraits (and new characters, like Elijah).
Back again^^. … well, anyway: I finally decided on a plotline - other than the fact that I changed Damon and Elena around a bit, I now actually know the story between this point, and the last scene I have in my head. And a good thing, too!
Now: Thank you, my dear AVECIA, for your wonderful (as always) help! You’re the BEST beta I can hope for! And also, thanks to my lovely readers and reviewers… you all make me all happy and ridiculous! Can’t get enough of those awesome reviews of yours!
On with it!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Chapter 7
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Elena found a certain irony in the fact that, for her, time seemed to have sped up. Because if the attempt to return Damon and her to normal was to fail, time would lose its importance… she would literally have forever at her disposal.
But as it was, time was acting like a bitch, because even though a glance at her watch told her that she and Damon had held on to each other for nearly half an hour, it felt like not even a few minutes had gone by. She let go of him anyway, because... well, because of many things, really. First, there was the fact that she felt way too good, clinging to him like that; also, if anyone were to walk in on them right now, they could easily come to the wrong conclusion. Or, even worse... come to the wrong conclusion only to realize that it was actually the right one. Ever since she woke up as a vampire, she was completely off balance. Not literally of course - with her improved senses, she could probably do back flips on a high wire right now. But her feelings were all over the place. Some things felt far away and dulled - her fear of what might happen to her, the grief over the death of her parents, the guilt of pulling all of her friends in this supernatural chaos that was her life.
But on the other hand, there were things that were so heightened; she had no idea how to deal with them. There was her love for Stefan that, with every passing hour, felt more and more like what she felt for her brother. The disappointment in Bonnie… she had been her best friend since they were only five years old, and still she denied her the courtesy to trust her judgment (mostly considering Damon). Then there was the ache inside her heart every time she thought about Caroline… sweet, naïve, obsessive, neurotic Caroline. Caroline, whose dream had been to find some glamorous job, have a loving husband and a family - the perfect white-picket-fence life. Now, she would forever be stuck in her 17 year old body, never growing older, never able to have children of her own, always destined to leave after a few years. And lastly… there was Damon. As if it wasn’t enough that she had problems discerning the feelings she had for him normally… now she even had some of his memories, and she knew exactly how he felt… it was all more of a rollercoaster than she had ever thought possible.
Standing in front of him now, still feeling his embrace everywhere on her being, she was more confused than ever.
Sighing, she drew her fingers through her hair and shook her head.
Damon just stood there, watching, waiting for her to get her act back together. He was good like that… seeing when she needed a little time and space, or when she just had to be pushed a little bit. Finally she had a reign on her thoughts and feelings again, and cast a rueful smile in his direction.
“I’m sorry about that I’m just a little…” … lost for words, or so it seemed. She didn’t even know how to pack into words what she desperately wanted him to know - because she needed him to understand.
“You’re lost, is what you are. You’re practically a new vampire - your emotions and thoughts are bound to be a little overwhelming right now. And I guess that you having memories of what I used to be like… well, that can’t really help, right?”
Like always, he seemed to understand perfectly where she came from. It had always been like this. With Stefan, she always felt the need to explain everything; to justify her actions and words, to try to be as perfect as possible. With Damon on the other hand…. She never had had a problem with letting him see the ‘dark’ side of her. Anger, sadness, even hate. Or that one time in Atlanta… when she had allowed herself to let loose for a little while - to be fun-Elena again.
Stefan might have picked up and put the pieces that was her world back together, but Damon had been the one to seal up the cracks, and make the picture whole and blemish-free again.
“Yes, I’m… confused, I guess. I have all these… mixed feelings, and I don’t really know what to do about them. It was hard to ignore them before, but now… it nearly impossible. And I’m afraid that I might just snap and… I don’t know, do something stupid. Like kill someone.”
The last sentence was said with a clear disgust there in her voice - and even if it wasn’t, Damon knew her well enough to be ninety percent sure that she wouldn’t do it (the last ten percent… well, she kind of had a little temper if you pissed her off just enough. Hence this whole… species changing disaster).
“Nah. Don’t think you have it in you. The killing part, I mean. I’m quite positive that you are very capable of doing stupid things though… you did try to hand yourself over to Klaus, after all.”
And just like that, the tension in the room was broken again. Elena rolled her eyes, made an exasperated sound and hit his shoulder (careful not to put too much strength behind it… he could end up with a broken shoulder otherwise. God, this really was fucked up.).
“Thanks a bunch… so glad to know that you have me aaaaall figured out. Now, I have to run. Caroline said something about girl-time, neglecting our friendship, and loads of unhealthy food. She also invoked the pact of the sisterhood… and nobody can get out of anything when that happens.”
Damon blinked a few times and cocked his head to the side. Nope, it still made no sense…
“The pact of the sisterhood? Do I even want to know what you’re talking about?”
Elena made an effort to look like she was thinking about it before she answered.
“Uhm… no, I really don’t think so. It involves oaths and promises and… well. Just… it’s a girls thing that goes way beyond understanding even the supernatural, I guess. Never mind. I’ll come by tomorrow again, if that’s okay?”
“Fine with me. I make sure to tell Stefan so he’s at home then.”
For a moment she was really tempted to tell him to not bother. But then she remembered (how the hell had she even forgotten in the first place?) that Stefan was her boyfriend, and that he should be the reason she came here.
“Right, Stefan. You tell him that, yes. Well, bye then.”
And with that, she sped out of the Boarding House, not even daring to look back once.
If she would have though, she would have seen that Stefan was leaning on the wall just outside of the kitchen; would have seen the longing glance that Damon threw her way, not even trying to hide it.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Stefan shook his head… he knew that both his brother and Elena where stubborn as hell but… this was just ridiculous. Sure, if he had any say about it, he would want Damon to not love her… and vice versa. But with the way things were, all he could do was to accept the truth as it was - the truth that those two were probably perfect for each other. Elena could keep Damon attached to his human side, could get him back onto the ground if he got in over himself again. And Damon had always been able to wake something in Elena… something primal - beautiful and frightening at the same time. She had so much fire in her. Enough to burn anyone who would dare to get too close. But he had a feeling that Damon would just laugh, embrace her, and tell her to burn even brighter.
So, if even he could see it, why in the hell didn’t they? He knew perfectly well that at least Damon was aware of his feelings for Elena - ignoring the fact that she feels just the same thing, but still. Only, for some reason, he had decided to act decent - for once in his undead life - and step back. It seemed that his brother had the same bad timing that he himself had. Figures… the one thing they really had in common (other than the fact that they seemed destined to always fall for the same girl, of course) was bad timing.
And Elena… well, at least she wasn’t too stubborn to just act on her feelings. No, she was just ignoring them. He had to do something about that… if those two couldn’t get their act together on their own, someone would need to help them along. And quite obviously, that someone was going to be him and… and he had just planned on playing matchmaker for his girlfriend and his brother. Great, just… shaking his head again, he headed up to his room to put together a plan of action. If he wanted to act like a madman, the least he could do was doing it with coordination.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Left alone again, Damon was at a loss at what to do. But then he remembered his half-done lunch and went to turn the heat on the stove back on. He was just going through the motions - adding sliced vegetable and spices on autopilot. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had missed something.
First they had been talking about those memories she had of him, then about feelings, of all things. And still he felt as if he had missed the topic entirely. Clearly she had been talking about Stefan… that she loved him, and couldn’t decide on whether she wanted to turn - and share forever together with his brother - or stay human. Still deep in thoughts, he finished cooking, put everything on a plate, and started to eat. Normally, he would have acted like a fool and cherished every single bite, just like he had the last two days. But right now, all he could to was to dissect his conversation with Elena, trying to find out what he had missed there.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
“Tell me again, why exactly are you dragging me to go shopping for junk food with you?”
Elena had to giggle as she saw the way he looked at the contents of her shopping cart. Popcorn, Chips, Pretzel Stick, loads of hard candy, ice-cream… he shook himself, just thinking about eating all that stuff.
“There will be three of you, right? You, Miss Forbes and your little witch friend. You will never be able to eat all that. And this mix of sweet and salty is… it’s nauseating!”
This time she wasn’t just giggling, but full out laughing.
“Oh, believe me; we’re going to eat all that. And after we’re done, we’re probably going to order Pizza or Chinese. Whatever we’re in the mood for.”
He just looked at her as if she suddenly had grown another set of arms and legs, clearly doubting her words.
“Oh, come on! All that is just… comfort food! We’re going to paint each other’s nails, do our hair and gossip till our tongues are all fuzzy. Then we’re going to watch some romantic comedy. And while we do all that, we eat. We’re not even going to notice that our pile is dwindling until it’s gone. Hence, the need for us to call delivery service. It’s girl’s night, Elijah. It’s the one time we are allowed to eat and eat and eat, without thinking about the weight we’re going to gain!”
Still shaking his head, he simply gave up. There was no reasoning with this girl when she was acting like this. And actually… it wasn’t like she was going out to try to hand herself over to Klaus again. Better she stuffed herself full of this… garbage, than the alternative.
“If you want to be specific about it… you can’t even gain any weight at the moment. You won’t change one bit until you’re… you again.”
Her grin broadened at that (he had no idea that would be even possible before he saw it happening in front of his own eyes) and she turned around on her heels to get even more ice-cream. He never understood the female obsessiveness with their figures.
There were days on which he really wondered what he was doing here. That girl just… shook everything up. He hated changes in his life, and still… since he met her, he found himself constantly bending backwards to please her.
He wished he could blame the Petrova blood on it - it would make it far easier for him to stay detached. But in reality… in reality it wasn’t the blood alone, it was the fact that after seven doppelgangers before her, she was the first one that reminded him of the Original Petrova.
The same fire and passion; a heart so big the entire world might as well find a place in it, always willing to find the good in a person. She had been just like that, the first one. She, too, always held her head high, never afraid of consequences, if the people she cared about where safe in the end. And she had sacrificed so, so much for it. Everything she ever had dreamed for herself, gone like water through her fingers. But she had done so gladly, because it had helped the greater good. In the end, she had lost her life because of it, still with a smile on her face. And all that, because this man had wanted her for himself before he ever even met her. Just because he had heard of her beauty.
And history was just about to repeat itself, all over again. Only this time, there were even more players in the game, and they had the resources of vampires, werewolves and witches to fight, instead of bow and arrow and a sword. And just like last time, it was all because of one woman.
Elena, who took the place of Alyona… his beautiful Alyona. His wife.
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
On to chapter 8