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Banner by my dear curious_wolf
The Corner, Chapter 15/?
Author: lady_Razzle
Rating: NC17 overall.
Pairings: Jack/Ianto Jack/Ten Ianto/Ten, Ianto/others
Summary: The only thing waiting in the dark is what you take in with you.
Warnings/AN: Spoilers to end of series. Most canon pairings referenced. There will be angst, and the shifting of time.
Disclaimer: You’ve got to fight for your right to partieee.
Betad by my late-sleeper, curious_wolf.
Previous Chapters: Here
Download: The Guillemots: Redwings
Chapter 15
A few hours previously, The Doctor had lain on his stomach, at Ianto’s side, pulling gently at the soft, pale hairs that cushioned Ianto’s belly.
“Did you mean it?” Ianto asked suddenly. The Doctor’s hand stilled and he waited for Ianto to turn to him. “Before,” Ianto said. “When you asked me if I wanted to go on a trip. You meant in your ship. In the…”
“TARDIS,” The Doctor supplied. “Yes. I did.”
Ianto bit his lip momentarily, shifting slightly.
“And did you mean it?”
The Doctor started moving his fingers again, more slowly, no longer pulling, just stroking gently.
“I never offer anything if I don’t mean it,” The Doctor said carefully. Ianto looked toward the ceiling.
“But things have changed. I’m not stupid,” Ianto prompted.
“Only a bit,” The Doctor said. “I thought you were sweet. Now I know you’re sweet. And bloody talented,” he added. “I wouldn’t take that kind of offer away. Not without good reason.”
“And you don’t have good reason,” Ianto said, only partly in question.
“The offer stands,” The Doctor said, continuing to watch Ianto closely, waiting for him to turn back. “It’s completely up to you whether or not you take it. If you want to come, there’s room for you. If you want to stay, for any reason, any reason at all…”
“No,” Ianto said decisively. “There isn’t anything. Or anyone,” he said pointedly.
“Are you sure?” The Doctor pressed once more. “There’s always time…”
“There’s no time like the present,” Ianto said with a distant smile.
#
Jack wasn’t about to let Ianto go. He didn’t even want to pull out of him. He lay his full weight on his lover and burrowed his arms beneath Ianto’s back. He buried his face in Ianto’s neck, breathing in the scent of his sweat, shifting gently to remind them both of the continued penetration.
Ianto said his name, without coldness, anger or demand.
Jack lifted his head and kissed Ianto, quietly thrilled when his tender caress was not only accepted, but returned.
“Let me up,” Ianto requested after a few moments.
“Do I have to?” Jack asked with a fond smile, not waiting for an answer before complying, pulling himself carefully out and sitting back on the sofa. He pulled the sides of his trousers together roughly, fishing in his pockets for a handkerchief to wipe himself down before fastening them.
He folded the handkerchief carefully and replaced it in his pocket like a keepsake.
Ianto wasn’t looking at him; he was just gathering up his clothes and folding them over the back of a chair. Jack felt like he should say something.
“Are you okay?”
Utterly, indescribably lame.
Jack watched Ianto’s head dip momentarily. “I’m fine, Jack,” he said. He seemed about to say more but thought better of it. Jack grinned nervously.
“It’s still Jack, then,” he remarked. “I was half-expecting you to have reverted back to ‘Sir’.”
Ianto turned to look at him, his expression moving from confusion to pity.
“Back where, Jack? Nothing’s changed because I let you fuck me.”
Jack’s face fell.
“You can’t still be going?” he asked incredulously. Ianto held his gaze, stony-faced. “Didn’t you hear…”
“I heard,” Ianto interrupted. He seemed to have no more to say on the matter.
“Well? Doesn’t it mean anything to you?” Jack asked desperately. Ianto tipped his head thoughtfully.
“They’re just words, Jack,” he said kindly. “And no, they don’t change anything.”
“Because you don’t feel the same,” Jack said resignedly. For a moment, he thought Ianto was going to hit him again.
“How dare you say that?” Ianto said, fighting for a level tone. “How can you be so completely oblivious? Of course I loved you. Everything is about you. How you like your coffee, how you want things, how I could make you smile. I admired you and I liked you and fuck, I fancied you and if it wasn’t for Lisa… It’s just too late, Jack.” Ianto wrapped his arms around himself. “I do love you, Jack, if you’re the same person you were before you left. And I even trust you, as much as I ever have, with the world and with my team, even with my life. But I couldn’t begin to trust you anywhere near my heart. Nor anyone else,” he said, when he saw the jealousy slip into Jack’s gaze. “I’m not in love with The Doctor, and he’s nowhere near in love with me.”
“So why go?” Jack asked suddenly. “He’ll lose you, or he’ll get you killed, and I won’t be there to save you!”
“I’m not much safer here, though, am I?” Ianto pointed out. “I don’t know what’s around the corner, but at least it’s something new. The worst it can do is try and kill me. Anything that turns up in Torchwood has either slept with you or is more interesting than me. I can’t even try and compete with the universe, but with him I don’t feel the need to bother trying. You know, that’s kind of comforting.”
“And just for that, you’ll walk away from this?” Jack said, confused and increasingly angry at what seemed, to him, like a fucking stupid lack of perspective. “You’ll walk away from someone who loves you, who you’re in love with, who couldn’t be any more repentant if he tried? Look at me, Ianto, I kicked your fucking door down to get close to you!”
“If I’m not making you jealous or pissing you off you won’t even notice I’m there!” Ianto countered. “You only want me because I’m saying no! The minute you’ve got me you’ll be off again, just like that!”
Jack couldn’t reply. How could he possibly argue with that? He had no proof that Ianto was wrong about him, when all the evidence pointed toward his words being wholly justified. He wanted Ianto like nothing else, right at that moment, so badly it usurped his every other thought. But when he had left, hadn’t that been just the same? Hadn’t months of flirtation culminated in coupling and climax that was joyous and wonderful and so swiftly followed by wordless abandonment?
And telling Ianto that the only person in the universe worth leaving him for was… the man he was planning to leave with didn’t seem like a sensible plan on any level.
Jack’s gaze fell slowly, from Ianto’s unreadable expression, down his neck, welted with Jack’s teethmarks, over his shirt and down to eye-level, where sweat and spunk streaked, drying, on his thighs.
“Not enough,” Jack said quietly. “Is this really what I deserve?” he asked, a question put to himself as much as anyone. “I was only stupid once. I was only selfish once.”
Jack wasn’t talking to Ianto, but he stood up to face him and caught his cheek with a firm hand.
“You’re right,” he said quietly. “I was too late.”
He felt the shiver in Ianto’s response as their lips met, tenderly, to share a kiss that was intimate and undemanding. Jack’s tongue just brushed the inside of Ianto’s lips, where it found another that was curiously welcoming, if not encouraging.
Ianto shuddered in Jack’s arms and Jack breathed in deeply, arching up against Ianto one more time before setting him free.
“There’ll still be time to change your mind,” Jack whispered, his lips still brushing Ianto’s, closing on them before he tried to say anything in response. Jack smiled, not megawatt, just a gentle, comforting smile, and pressed his lips to Ianto’s cheek before taking his leave, leaving a confused Ianto to get ready to leave him right back.
TBC…