First Chapter

[lady_puck9999]

So, I have this Chapter One... I need someone to read it and say, "okay, this this and this are the things that I still don't know, and this is what is terribly wrong with it. Plz fix. Kthxbye."

So, anyone want to read a first chapter? It's like, 11 pages long. I will love you forever and ever and eeeeeveeeeer.

I will do a crit in return, too!