Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?

[lady_leia_solo]

Title: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
Summary: The Lestranges overstay their welcomes.
Characters/Pairings: Narcissa Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Lucius/Narcissa, Bellatrix Lestrange
Genre: Gen/Humor
Beta: None
Rating/Warnings: PG for mentions of alcohol
Medium: Fic
Word Count: 625

Comments

[proceedcyclone]

I like the small references to details in the book (Draco, butterbeer, etc.). I was amused that something so little could drive a Death Eater crazy, but I liked how it was so realistic and not something set in the fantasy word of Harry Potter.

You want to watch your punctuation, though, especially in regards to dialogue. I also wouldn't say "they were arguing." Just show us.

Do you ever write original stories?

-Tia

[lady_leia_solo]

When you say watch my punctuation, do you mean adding it like at the end of sentences? Because someone else pointed that out to me. And yeah I wrote this before I figured out the "Show, don't tell" rule.

I actually posted one of my original stories over at runaway_tales, but I plan on posting it here, if you'd like to read it.

Thanks for taking the time to comment. It's my aim to get better with my writing!

[proceedcyclone]

"I mean, putting a comma at the end of the dialogue," she said. "Before specifying who said it and inside the quotation marks." You do it sometimes, but not always, so I assume it's more of a typo than anything else.

That's the only time it felt that way and, since you were switching times, I see why you felt the need to introduce the new scene.

I've read the Harry Potter fanfiction that you've posted, but I don't know the other fandoms.

I'm trying to write more, personally, but I'm struggling to finish anything. :(

-Tia