ah-ha
I had a great "ahha" moment last night at dinner. I was sitting there thinking, dang, I feel so cute but no one is saying so, so maybe its not true. Then I thought, BS, I don't need someone else's praise to feel good about me-I feel great about me so why do I need someone else to say so? I don't! I can (and should) like me regardless of what others think. Of course I am human and do like compliments on occasion
As long as I am talking about compliments there is on that I hate to receive. The conversation will look something like this:
(?) Hi Kimmy
(Me) Hi ____?____
(?) Kimmy you look so cute today
(Me) Aww, Thanks
(?) But you look good everyday (and often they'll say) so whatever...(trails of)
(Me) Thanks
I hate that but for two reasons. One if they do say the so whatever it almost discredits my looking cute. Ok not that big of a deal because like I stated at the beginning, I don't need others praise to feel good about my self. The real problem is reason two. That reason being the pressure. It makes me feel like I have to look cute everyday. Now I'm thinking that I like my friends for the person they are not their looks or clothes so it probably is true in revers and if not are they a true friend? Nonetheless, I get it in my head that I must meet expectations. This is something I will try to work on but in the mean time, if you wish to give me a compliments about my looks please leave off the second part of but...
In the course of typing this two things have come to my mind. One, I may be guilty of this very thing. Two, I may have just come across as vain. I hope I did not, that was not the point. The point is I just would like to feel a little less pressured to look one way or another.
Blessings all,
Kimmy
Currently Listening
Strange and Beautiful
By Aqualung
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