Stress = Lower Emotional Capacity
Today was ungodly stressful at work. And due to that, my emotions were all over the place.
I cried no fewer than three times. One, I actually had to close my door for and hope my neighbor didn't hear the sobbing, sniffling.... I wasn't crying about work, I was crying about Ian. But the stress from work is what wore me down so much that the normal, daily, constant memories and sadness won.
I don't say this often, nor as strongly as I feel it ever, but I really doubt I'll ever trust anyone enough to fall really in love again. Right now I don't WANT to. I want nothing to do with that. Even a little.
But I think that even when I'm not repulsed by the idea, I will no longer be capable.
I don't say never... And won't. But it does feel like a never thing right now.
I do have some things I'm looking forward to, now.... So that's a start.
I cried no fewer than three times. One, I actually had to close my door for and hope my neighbor didn't hear the sobbing, sniffling.... I wasn't crying about work, I was crying about Ian. But the stress from work is what wore me down so much that the normal, daily, constant memories and sadness won.
I don't say this often, nor as strongly as I feel it ever, but I really doubt I'll ever trust anyone enough to fall really in love again. Right now I don't WANT to. I want nothing to do with that. Even a little.
But I think that even when I'm not repulsed by the idea, I will no longer be capable.
I don't say never... And won't. But it does feel like a never thing right now.
I do have some things I'm looking forward to, now.... So that's a start.