huh
so my last entry is a little... intense. it was bit of a... moment. i just realised that all this time i have been afraid of myself... as a woman. as an adult. i've been afraid of my life after highschool.. which is funny because i've been living it. i just wanted to hold on to my youth. i wanted to hold on to my fears. i didn't want to admit that i've been growing up, i didn't want to admit that i couldn't escape it.
i didn't write that for anybody in particular. i wrote it for me. i was being completely honest with myself for the first time in a LOOONG time. i didn't mean it to be poetry. but i think it comes across that way. oh well. i dont have the slightest clue who else i wrote it for. i think it was a drawing of my past experiences. i dont know . what ever. anyway.
i do know that i'm very angry at a certain friend of mine. who has taken it into his own hands to decide that... he has to distance himself. bull. i dont buy it. he's full of crap. but oh well. and you know what is the most upsetting. instead of taking it up with me. instead of asking me what i feel... whatever... he's just decided taht he knows. and so now he has to "distance himself" something that he didn't even have the you know what's to tell me himself. @#(&*$. that is all.
i feel an intense need to curse and yell and all that good stuff. but i cant. so i just keep it to here.
i wont write out all of the colorful language i want to use. that's just not me.
anyway. i think i'm done.
much love to ya.
i didn't write that for anybody in particular. i wrote it for me. i was being completely honest with myself for the first time in a LOOONG time. i didn't mean it to be poetry. but i think it comes across that way. oh well. i dont have the slightest clue who else i wrote it for. i think it was a drawing of my past experiences. i dont know . what ever. anyway.
i do know that i'm very angry at a certain friend of mine. who has taken it into his own hands to decide that... he has to distance himself. bull. i dont buy it. he's full of crap. but oh well. and you know what is the most upsetting. instead of taking it up with me. instead of asking me what i feel... whatever... he's just decided taht he knows. and so now he has to "distance himself" something that he didn't even have the you know what's to tell me himself. @#(&*$. that is all.
i feel an intense need to curse and yell and all that good stuff. but i cant. so i just keep it to here.
i wont write out all of the colorful language i want to use. that's just not me.
anyway. i think i'm done.
much love to ya.