Fic: Walking away from my heart. [Chapter 12/?]
Title: Walking away from my heart.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Darren Criss/Chris Colfer
Summary: Darren and Chris broke up a week before filming their last Klaine scene. They aren’t able to stay professional about it because they realize that the pain is too much to bear while having to film a screenkiss. So how are they supposed to carry on playing a lovey-dovey couple? Will they get through it without anyone noticing or will their personal life destroy everything they stand for?
Disclaimer: I do not own any persons in this. I respect Darren and Chris and I don’t claim that any of this happened, it’s all just a product of my imagination.
Author's Note: I want to apologize for the angst.
Sorry! =) Also I made a fangirl-tumblr, so if you want to keep upwith
my writing or just want to hit me up you can do it here.
[Chapter 1]
[Chapter 2]
[Chapter 3]
[Chapter 4]
[Chapter 5]
[Chapter 6]
[Chapter 7]
[Chapter 8]
[Chapter 9]
[Chapter 10]
[Chapter 11]
Chris tried his best to keep his mind from wandering by starting to write again.
He kept deleting passages, rewriting things, replacing words, he just couldn't focus at all.
His thoughts were full of Darren leaving him for a woman.
A woman he supposedly didn't even know.
He didn't even look at him when he left.
Chris hated this, he hated feeling so helpless and out of control.
He needed to know where his boyfriend was going and what he was doing.
It wasn't like he was controlling or overly jealous, he just wanted to make sure Darren meant the things he said, meant the way he kissed him and just wouldn't leave him again.
It was more fear than jealousy really.
He ran his hands over his face, rubbing his tired eyes and decided to procrastinate a bit.
It wasn't like he'd get work done today anyways.
So he opened twitter, desperate for any kind of distraction and then there it was...
people tweeted him pictures of Darren hugging this beautiful woman, holding her hand over the table of the cafe they were sitting in and the last picture was him kissing her cheek.
Chris felt his stomach turn, aching, a harsh pain stinging through his body.
He felt absolutely numb.
He couldn't even cry.
All he could do was just sit in front of the screen, eyes wide with horror.
How could Darren do that to him?
After everything they've been through?
After he had sex with him, living in the same apartment for days, telling him how much he loved him.
Chris stood up, pacing around restlessly.
All he could do was wait for Darren to come home, probably smelling sweet, like her perfume and Chris felt sick at the thought.
He walked back to his laptop, closing it harshly, slumping down on the couch.
He just needed to wait, wait and hope Darren would come back.
Chris knew he shouldn't confront him right away.
He was tired of fighting.
It wasn't like Darren was the ideal partner to fight with.
It would end up in screaming, crying, insults and unnecessary remarks.
He was sick of it since he had plenty of that a few weeks ago.
Chris waited and waited until the door finally snapped open.
"I'm back!", he heard Darren's cheery voice and his stomach flipped again.
"I can hear that.", he mumbled, trying not to face Darren because he knew his smile would kill him.
"Hey, why so grumpy?", he asked quietly, slumping down next to Chris, leaning in to kiss his cheek when the younger man stood up quickly.
"Don't!", he said in a warning tone.
"Chris what's going on? Did I do something wrong or...what is it?", Darren asked, his eyes wide with confusion, gleaming sadly at the other man.
"You tell me...", Chris snapped.
"I'm not following...", the older man said, running his hand through his hair, letting out a frustrated sigh.
"I saw the pictures.", the blue-eyed stated coldly.
"What are you talking about? Please enlighten me! I have no idea why you're so mad at me!", Darren's voice was getting louder and Chris's breath hitched.
He didn't want to fight, he was tired.
"Open my laptop.", Chris said. "Go ahead...the site is still open, just look but I guess you already know what you did.", his eyes were piercing through Darren, his look cold and hurt.
Darren swallowed hard, slowly opening the laptop.
"Oh fuck! Chris listen...", he started but Chris was already pacing through his apartment again.
He felt like throwing his fist into a wall, throwing around things just out of pure frustration and betrayal.
Darren walked up to him, gripping his shoulders tightly
"LISTEN TO ME!"
He was breathing fast and deep, waiting for Chris's to find his eyes.
"Chris...do you really think I'm that much of an asshole?"
They were silent, Chris eyes flickered away at the intense glare.
"Answer me! Do you really think I'd use you just like that and go through all of this, come out to my parents and stuff just so I can continue going out with a girl? Do you really think that?"
"I-I don't know what to think Darren I just...I'm so fucking scared.", Chris confessed, his voice low and breathy.
"Let me get one thing really clear ok?...I love you. I'm so in love with you Colfer, I'd do anything to be with you but in order to do that and have a normal healthy relationship I need you to trust me again."
"Then who is she? Why don't I know her?", Chris asked, his eyes still full of fear and pain.
"Because she's my exgirlfriend. We haven't seen each other in 2 years. She wanted to meet up again because we got along very well and we didn't break up because we fought a lot or something. We just wanted different things in life and it wouldn't have worked out. I-I told her about you. And she...she promised to keep it to herself and I know she'll do that. I just wanted her to know because yes, I admit she flirted a bit. But that's ok because like I said we're still friendly with each other but please Chris...I wouldn't cheat on you. Never. I...I really want this with you and I just hope you can trust me again one day. But as long as you can't all I can say is I'm sorry and...beg you to believe me. I can't force you to but I want you to know."
"Fuck...", Chris choked out, burying his head in the warm crook of Darren's neck.
"I'm sorry but it's just so hard...I don't want to feel this way but it just drove me insane because you left so quickly and you didn't wake me up and you didn't say you loved me back...I guess I was just...confused and a bit hurt and I just think way too much. When I'm alone I think about everything and I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. And then the pictures showed up..."
"Shh, it's ok...I...I just don't want to see you like that. I want you to be happy.", Darren whispered into Chris's soft hair.
"I-I don't know why I'm acting like this...I want to believe you and I know it wasn't a big deal but I just...I'm tired of losing. I had plenty of that in high school and right now everything's perfect actually and I just want it to be...at least for a while. That's why I freak out about things like that. I love you...just too much maybe."
"Don't say that..."
"It's true...I love you so much I can barely breathe when I think about losing you one day...it just hurts so fucking bad."
"I love you Chris and I promise I'll do my best so you don't have to feel like this. I - shit...I just hate seeing you like this...", the older man muttered.
"Can we just watch a movie in bed or something? I'm just feel so exhausted...", Chris asked, his voice thin and hoarse.
"Of course...yeah I'd love that.", Darren said, placing a kiss on Chris's dry lips.
"Go get changed, I'll just get some snacks and some coke ok?"
"Yeah...thanks."
"I'll be there in a second."
Chris dragged his feet into the bedroom, quickly changing into a wide shirt and some sweatpants, laying down on the bed.
Darren came in with a few slices of pizza and two cans of diet coke.
"There you go...", he said, giving the plate and the cans to his boyfriend but Chris laid them aside.
"Come here...", he whispered and Darren placed himself next to him.
Chris snuggled closer, pulling Darren into a warm hug.
"I just need you...like this right now. Ok?", he muttered, caressing Darren's back and he felt the older man nod against his cheek.
"I love you...please believe me.", Darren said.
"Yes...yes, I love you too."
They just laid like that for a while, in complete silence.
"What do you want to watch?", Darren asked quietly.
"Can we just...can we just stay like this for a bit longer?"
"Sure, of course, yeah...I think we need this right now..."
Chris nodded, pulling Darren even closer.
"I'm so tired...", Chris whined, drawing soft shapes on the back of Darren's neck with his fingertips.
"Let's just sleep then...", Darren mumbled, already drifting off a bit.
"Ok..."
Chris turned around so his back was flush against Darren's warm chest.
He gripped his arms, pulling them around him softly, pulling him closer and Darren smiled contently against his warm neck.
"I love you.", he whispered into the younger man's ear before falling into a deep long sleep, hoping that Chris knew he meant the world to him.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Darren Criss/Chris Colfer
Summary: Darren and Chris broke up a week before filming their last Klaine scene. They aren’t able to stay professional about it because they realize that the pain is too much to bear while having to film a screenkiss. So how are they supposed to carry on playing a lovey-dovey couple? Will they get through it without anyone noticing or will their personal life destroy everything they stand for?
Disclaimer: I do not own any persons in this. I respect Darren and Chris and I don’t claim that any of this happened, it’s all just a product of my imagination.
Author's Note: I want to apologize for the angst.
Sorry! =) Also I made a fangirl-tumblr, so if you want to keep upwith
my writing or just want to hit me up you can do it here.
[Chapter 1]
[Chapter 2]
[Chapter 3]
[Chapter 4]
[Chapter 5]
[Chapter 6]
[Chapter 7]
[Chapter 8]
[Chapter 9]
[Chapter 10]
[Chapter 11]
Chris tried his best to keep his mind from wandering by starting to write again.
He kept deleting passages, rewriting things, replacing words, he just couldn't focus at all.
His thoughts were full of Darren leaving him for a woman.
A woman he supposedly didn't even know.
He didn't even look at him when he left.
Chris hated this, he hated feeling so helpless and out of control.
He needed to know where his boyfriend was going and what he was doing.
It wasn't like he was controlling or overly jealous, he just wanted to make sure Darren meant the things he said, meant the way he kissed him and just wouldn't leave him again.
It was more fear than jealousy really.
He ran his hands over his face, rubbing his tired eyes and decided to procrastinate a bit.
It wasn't like he'd get work done today anyways.
So he opened twitter, desperate for any kind of distraction and then there it was...
people tweeted him pictures of Darren hugging this beautiful woman, holding her hand over the table of the cafe they were sitting in and the last picture was him kissing her cheek.
Chris felt his stomach turn, aching, a harsh pain stinging through his body.
He felt absolutely numb.
He couldn't even cry.
All he could do was just sit in front of the screen, eyes wide with horror.
How could Darren do that to him?
After everything they've been through?
After he had sex with him, living in the same apartment for days, telling him how much he loved him.
Chris stood up, pacing around restlessly.
All he could do was wait for Darren to come home, probably smelling sweet, like her perfume and Chris felt sick at the thought.
He walked back to his laptop, closing it harshly, slumping down on the couch.
He just needed to wait, wait and hope Darren would come back.
Chris knew he shouldn't confront him right away.
He was tired of fighting.
It wasn't like Darren was the ideal partner to fight with.
It would end up in screaming, crying, insults and unnecessary remarks.
He was sick of it since he had plenty of that a few weeks ago.
Chris waited and waited until the door finally snapped open.
"I'm back!", he heard Darren's cheery voice and his stomach flipped again.
"I can hear that.", he mumbled, trying not to face Darren because he knew his smile would kill him.
"Hey, why so grumpy?", he asked quietly, slumping down next to Chris, leaning in to kiss his cheek when the younger man stood up quickly.
"Don't!", he said in a warning tone.
"Chris what's going on? Did I do something wrong or...what is it?", Darren asked, his eyes wide with confusion, gleaming sadly at the other man.
"You tell me...", Chris snapped.
"I'm not following...", the older man said, running his hand through his hair, letting out a frustrated sigh.
"I saw the pictures.", the blue-eyed stated coldly.
"What are you talking about? Please enlighten me! I have no idea why you're so mad at me!", Darren's voice was getting louder and Chris's breath hitched.
He didn't want to fight, he was tired.
"Open my laptop.", Chris said. "Go ahead...the site is still open, just look but I guess you already know what you did.", his eyes were piercing through Darren, his look cold and hurt.
Darren swallowed hard, slowly opening the laptop.
"Oh fuck! Chris listen...", he started but Chris was already pacing through his apartment again.
He felt like throwing his fist into a wall, throwing around things just out of pure frustration and betrayal.
Darren walked up to him, gripping his shoulders tightly
"LISTEN TO ME!"
He was breathing fast and deep, waiting for Chris's to find his eyes.
"Chris...do you really think I'm that much of an asshole?"
They were silent, Chris eyes flickered away at the intense glare.
"Answer me! Do you really think I'd use you just like that and go through all of this, come out to my parents and stuff just so I can continue going out with a girl? Do you really think that?"
"I-I don't know what to think Darren I just...I'm so fucking scared.", Chris confessed, his voice low and breathy.
"Let me get one thing really clear ok?...I love you. I'm so in love with you Colfer, I'd do anything to be with you but in order to do that and have a normal healthy relationship I need you to trust me again."
"Then who is she? Why don't I know her?", Chris asked, his eyes still full of fear and pain.
"Because she's my exgirlfriend. We haven't seen each other in 2 years. She wanted to meet up again because we got along very well and we didn't break up because we fought a lot or something. We just wanted different things in life and it wouldn't have worked out. I-I told her about you. And she...she promised to keep it to herself and I know she'll do that. I just wanted her to know because yes, I admit she flirted a bit. But that's ok because like I said we're still friendly with each other but please Chris...I wouldn't cheat on you. Never. I...I really want this with you and I just hope you can trust me again one day. But as long as you can't all I can say is I'm sorry and...beg you to believe me. I can't force you to but I want you to know."
"Fuck...", Chris choked out, burying his head in the warm crook of Darren's neck.
"I'm sorry but it's just so hard...I don't want to feel this way but it just drove me insane because you left so quickly and you didn't wake me up and you didn't say you loved me back...I guess I was just...confused and a bit hurt and I just think way too much. When I'm alone I think about everything and I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. And then the pictures showed up..."
"Shh, it's ok...I...I just don't want to see you like that. I want you to be happy.", Darren whispered into Chris's soft hair.
"I-I don't know why I'm acting like this...I want to believe you and I know it wasn't a big deal but I just...I'm tired of losing. I had plenty of that in high school and right now everything's perfect actually and I just want it to be...at least for a while. That's why I freak out about things like that. I love you...just too much maybe."
"Don't say that..."
"It's true...I love you so much I can barely breathe when I think about losing you one day...it just hurts so fucking bad."
"I love you Chris and I promise I'll do my best so you don't have to feel like this. I - shit...I just hate seeing you like this...", the older man muttered.
"Can we just watch a movie in bed or something? I'm just feel so exhausted...", Chris asked, his voice thin and hoarse.
"Of course...yeah I'd love that.", Darren said, placing a kiss on Chris's dry lips.
"Go get changed, I'll just get some snacks and some coke ok?"
"Yeah...thanks."
"I'll be there in a second."
Chris dragged his feet into the bedroom, quickly changing into a wide shirt and some sweatpants, laying down on the bed.
Darren came in with a few slices of pizza and two cans of diet coke.
"There you go...", he said, giving the plate and the cans to his boyfriend but Chris laid them aside.
"Come here...", he whispered and Darren placed himself next to him.
Chris snuggled closer, pulling Darren into a warm hug.
"I just need you...like this right now. Ok?", he muttered, caressing Darren's back and he felt the older man nod against his cheek.
"I love you...please believe me.", Darren said.
"Yes...yes, I love you too."
They just laid like that for a while, in complete silence.
"What do you want to watch?", Darren asked quietly.
"Can we just...can we just stay like this for a bit longer?"
"Sure, of course, yeah...I think we need this right now..."
Chris nodded, pulling Darren even closer.
"I'm so tired...", Chris whined, drawing soft shapes on the back of Darren's neck with his fingertips.
"Let's just sleep then...", Darren mumbled, already drifting off a bit.
"Ok..."
Chris turned around so his back was flush against Darren's warm chest.
He gripped his arms, pulling them around him softly, pulling him closer and Darren smiled contently against his warm neck.
"I love you.", he whispered into the younger man's ear before falling into a deep long sleep, hoping that Chris knew he meant the world to him.