Must Be Dreaming (Details) Part 5
Title: Must Be Dreaming (Details)
Fandom: RPF
Pairing: Pinto
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, just love 'em
Warnings: smexy times, long-term angst, gratuitous use of ellipses and other naughty grammar
Summary: Part 5 of 11. Zach has a crush on Chris but Chris really doesn't want to know. A lot of angst, UST and crappy decision making follows and eventually, Zach has to make a choice.
Follows the songs from Frou Frou's album, Details - which is my favourite album of all time, just to be melodramatic. The song's aren't in order, I sorted them as needed for the story arc. Normally I don't do songfics but this story just flowed out of the album for me, so I went for it.
Must Be Dreaming is track 4 on the album and the lyrics for all the songs on Details can be found here. If you haven't heard it and you can get your hands (electronic or otherwise) on the album, I thoroughly recommend it.
Download Must Be Dreaming
A/N: This song is totally about teh sex for me so I stuck it on repeat and managed to get this written in about two hours. So - lower on the angst compared to earlier chapters but I'm hoping you agree that it has other redeeming features?...
"What do I do with this?"
The silence stretched taut as they sat in the sunlight of the early afternoon. So many emotions colliding, clashing with each other. How to know which ones they felt together. Pain? Oh yes, that one was a companion to both but this love? This need? It whirled around Zach’s head until it made him dizzy but all he could see reflected in those other eyes was desperation. And that wasn’t enough, not nearly enough for him to let his hand come to rest on that neck, to let the shutters fall from his eyes. His hand couldn’t start moving in reassuring circles on that warm skin, it wasn’t his place, it wasn’t right, not here, not now, not with him so very, very alone. That gorgeous head wouldn’t tilt to meet his fingers, desperate for any kind of gentle touch, the eyes wouldn’t close and a sigh wouldn’t escape those incredible lips like the breath of something divine.
“Zach...”
No he wouldn’t say that name, not like that, his head rolling forward to rest against Zach’s waiting brow, arms coming up around him like they’d belonged there, always.
“Just let me feel something else, something other than this. Please?”
Breath mingling together, getting harder, heavier. Heads tilting up until their eyes meet; sunlit tannin against summer seawater.
“Can’t...” Was that him? Was it he that was pulling away? “Wrong,” he whispered, “so wrong. You don’t want this. I can’t hurt you again.”
A violent shake of the head and hands fisting in the back of his hair, pulling him closer, ever closer to the edge, to that razor-sharp line where he will lose himself.
“You. Only you... the constant in my life, always there. Don’t leave me alone here; don’t make me feel this alone.”
The patter of water on denim and his eyes swam out of focus. Those seawater eyes were all he could see through the blur.
“Just... let... me...”
Lips so close now, then the tip of that tongue, then... the whole world screamed as they came together - salt and sweat and heat, before the softness of his mouth and the wandering of his hands down Zach’s back.
Coming up for air and those beautiful eyes read his intentions before he did, warm fingers pressed against his lips to stall his voice.
“No. I know how you feel, Zach. Give me a chance to figure out how I feel. I need to see how deep this goes.”
Then those hands were on him again, running over his shoulders, down his chest and then under his shirt. They stilled for a moment, palms pressed flat against his belly, lips caressing the air over his collarbone and then they were pulling the cloth up and away from his body before returning to trace the dark hair that fell down his chest, shaping a line to the waistband of his track pants. Zach looked up and saw those lips were moving again.
“Show me how much you love me,” they whispered.
And Zach fell over the edge.
Clothes ripped as Chris’ torso was stripped bare, both men rising until they stood facing each other, so close to touching that Zach could feel the heat of Chris’ body seep into his own. He extended his hand - an unconscious gesture and Chris took it without hesitation. Hand in hand - that seemed important to Zach as he backed towards the bedroom, pulling Chris with him. A stumble as the door opened behind him and then he was falling onto the bed and Chris was falling with him until they were a tangle of limbs over cream sheets. Hands roaming all over as they rolled back and forth until Zach went for Chris’ jeans, deftly undoing the fly. Not satisfied with just watching Chris take them off he pulled them down his thighs, uncaring as to whether he left marks on his skin. A gasp as his briefs quickly followed and then he was free and Zach had to pause for a moment just to look.
“You too,” whispers Chris harshly as he reaches for Zach’s drawstring.
They’re both naked now and here Zach gets scared - he can’t turn back now, not when Chris is kneeling before him on the bedspread but some small part of him, in the back of his mind warns him that Chris might bolt. And if you love him, it says, you’ll have to let him go. The bed sinks as Zach shuffles forwards and Chris stays frozen, a poem in stillness like the statue of David, only his eyes moving, following every movement that Zach is making. Zach places a tentative hand on Chris’ chest, feeling his heart pulse strongly beneath his palm. A shiver of something passes through Chris and Zach trails his hand lower, circling his navel, before reaching the wiry, dark blond curls of his groin.
He’s so close now, so close but he’s afraid to take that last step. He wants this to last for the rest of his life but this moment could be everything or nothing and if Chris shatters it, he’ll shatter Zach too.
Chris senses his hesitation but he’s sick of turning away, of feeling so lost and Zach is like a white gold thread running through his life for so many months now. He’s not just a rock to cling to; he’s a blinding light that will melt the chill that has begun to seep into Chris’ bones.
Like lightning he reaches for Zach’s hand, guiding him down and wrapping those slim fingers around himself.
The breath of a moan escapes Zach’s body and then he’s running his hand over Chris, thumb gently rubbing against the silk of his skin until Chris bucks and Zach twists his body and throws Chris down onto the bed beneath him.
His hair is hanging over his eyes and a puff of air to clear it makes Chris smile like the sun after a rainstorm. It’s that more than anything else that lets Zach throw the last of his hesitation to the back of his mind. As they kiss again, Chris’ hand snakes its way down between them and reaches for Zach. Zach returns the gesture and they both gasp as they begin to move against each other. Their sweat lets them slide effortlessly and soon Zach has to close his eyes to try and block out the vision of Chris beneath him - eyes blown wide with want, lips red from kissing but it’s no use. Zach will see that image until the day he dies.
“How far do you want to go?” he finds himself asking.
“As far as we can,” Chris replies. “As far as you’ll let me.”
Zach takes the hint and reaches blindly for the drawer in his bedside table. Chris takes the offered condom from him ever so gently but the tremor in his hand betrays his need and Zach can’t take his eyes off him until he’s done. Zach knows that he can take Chris without much difficulty and he wants to make this as easy as he can for Chris, so after he prepares himself he rolls onto his back and pulls Chris over to him.
“How...” Chris asks but Zach cuts him off.
“Just follow my lead.”
Years of yoga have paid off and Zach has no trouble lifting his legs and letting them rest around Chris’ upper torso. Chris seems to hesitate as he hovers over Zach, his hands on either side of his body. Zach reaches up to touch his face and Chris leans down for the gentlest kiss Zach has ever had. Then Chris pushes into him and all coherent thought is lost in the rush of feeling. Chris is nearly panting as he leans over Zach, one hand wrapped around his side and Zach can see that there are emotions warring across his beautiful face, even as his hand clenches possessively around Zach’s middle.
They look into each other eyes again and Zach can see Chris make a decision. Something lifts from his face, leaving it lighter and he bends down to press a kiss against Zach’s sternum before beginning to move in a steady rhythm. The heat in the room rises as the two men begin to rock together, their breathing becoming synchronised, Chris’ head pressed into Zach’s chest as his breaths become sighs, become moans, become cries and Zach voice rises to meet him - a duet of passion and need and heat and Zach thinks he must be dreaming this, must be dreaming the look of desire on Chris’ face as he rides above him. “Oh, come and collide in me,’ he thinks, ‘this sugar rush of glorious feeling - just don’t stop, oh please god don’t stop.’
Zach goes sky high as Chris’ rhythm deepens, slamming the bed into the wall and Zach is losing it, he’s on fire. Euphoria begins to trickle in and just at the moment that he knows he can’t take any more, Chris stalls above him and shudders in glorious agony, his head craned to the ceiling as Zach feels him pulse inside him and Zach’s body arches in ecstasy, his hands scrabbling for Chris’ face and pulling him down towards him as he spills over Chris’ chest.
Chris falls bonelessly on top of Zach, his breath coming fast and heavy.
Zach pulls Chris’ head against his chest with one hand curled in his hair - the other runs up and down his spine in an unconscious, repeating pattern.
Their breathing is slowing down now and exhaustion is finally creeping up on Chris, his head a near dead weight on Zach’s body.
“I’m yours,” whispers Zach. “All yours, always yours, undeniably yours.”
And Chris’ hand squeezes his arm in reply.
Part Six
Fandom: RPF
Pairing: Pinto
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, just love 'em
Warnings: smexy times, long-term angst, gratuitous use of ellipses and other naughty grammar
Summary: Part 5 of 11. Zach has a crush on Chris but Chris really doesn't want to know. A lot of angst, UST and crappy decision making follows and eventually, Zach has to make a choice.
Follows the songs from Frou Frou's album, Details - which is my favourite album of all time, just to be melodramatic. The song's aren't in order, I sorted them as needed for the story arc. Normally I don't do songfics but this story just flowed out of the album for me, so I went for it.
Must Be Dreaming is track 4 on the album and the lyrics for all the songs on Details can be found here. If you haven't heard it and you can get your hands (electronic or otherwise) on the album, I thoroughly recommend it.
Download Must Be Dreaming
A/N: This song is totally about teh sex for me so I stuck it on repeat and managed to get this written in about two hours. So - lower on the angst compared to earlier chapters but I'm hoping you agree that it has other redeeming features?...
"What do I do with this?"
The silence stretched taut as they sat in the sunlight of the early afternoon. So many emotions colliding, clashing with each other. How to know which ones they felt together. Pain? Oh yes, that one was a companion to both but this love? This need? It whirled around Zach’s head until it made him dizzy but all he could see reflected in those other eyes was desperation. And that wasn’t enough, not nearly enough for him to let his hand come to rest on that neck, to let the shutters fall from his eyes. His hand couldn’t start moving in reassuring circles on that warm skin, it wasn’t his place, it wasn’t right, not here, not now, not with him so very, very alone. That gorgeous head wouldn’t tilt to meet his fingers, desperate for any kind of gentle touch, the eyes wouldn’t close and a sigh wouldn’t escape those incredible lips like the breath of something divine.
“Zach...”
No he wouldn’t say that name, not like that, his head rolling forward to rest against Zach’s waiting brow, arms coming up around him like they’d belonged there, always.
“Just let me feel something else, something other than this. Please?”
Breath mingling together, getting harder, heavier. Heads tilting up until their eyes meet; sunlit tannin against summer seawater.
“Can’t...” Was that him? Was it he that was pulling away? “Wrong,” he whispered, “so wrong. You don’t want this. I can’t hurt you again.”
A violent shake of the head and hands fisting in the back of his hair, pulling him closer, ever closer to the edge, to that razor-sharp line where he will lose himself.
“You. Only you... the constant in my life, always there. Don’t leave me alone here; don’t make me feel this alone.”
The patter of water on denim and his eyes swam out of focus. Those seawater eyes were all he could see through the blur.
“Just... let... me...”
Lips so close now, then the tip of that tongue, then... the whole world screamed as they came together - salt and sweat and heat, before the softness of his mouth and the wandering of his hands down Zach’s back.
Coming up for air and those beautiful eyes read his intentions before he did, warm fingers pressed against his lips to stall his voice.
“No. I know how you feel, Zach. Give me a chance to figure out how I feel. I need to see how deep this goes.”
Then those hands were on him again, running over his shoulders, down his chest and then under his shirt. They stilled for a moment, palms pressed flat against his belly, lips caressing the air over his collarbone and then they were pulling the cloth up and away from his body before returning to trace the dark hair that fell down his chest, shaping a line to the waistband of his track pants. Zach looked up and saw those lips were moving again.
“Show me how much you love me,” they whispered.
And Zach fell over the edge.
Clothes ripped as Chris’ torso was stripped bare, both men rising until they stood facing each other, so close to touching that Zach could feel the heat of Chris’ body seep into his own. He extended his hand - an unconscious gesture and Chris took it without hesitation. Hand in hand - that seemed important to Zach as he backed towards the bedroom, pulling Chris with him. A stumble as the door opened behind him and then he was falling onto the bed and Chris was falling with him until they were a tangle of limbs over cream sheets. Hands roaming all over as they rolled back and forth until Zach went for Chris’ jeans, deftly undoing the fly. Not satisfied with just watching Chris take them off he pulled them down his thighs, uncaring as to whether he left marks on his skin. A gasp as his briefs quickly followed and then he was free and Zach had to pause for a moment just to look.
“You too,” whispers Chris harshly as he reaches for Zach’s drawstring.
They’re both naked now and here Zach gets scared - he can’t turn back now, not when Chris is kneeling before him on the bedspread but some small part of him, in the back of his mind warns him that Chris might bolt. And if you love him, it says, you’ll have to let him go. The bed sinks as Zach shuffles forwards and Chris stays frozen, a poem in stillness like the statue of David, only his eyes moving, following every movement that Zach is making. Zach places a tentative hand on Chris’ chest, feeling his heart pulse strongly beneath his palm. A shiver of something passes through Chris and Zach trails his hand lower, circling his navel, before reaching the wiry, dark blond curls of his groin.
He’s so close now, so close but he’s afraid to take that last step. He wants this to last for the rest of his life but this moment could be everything or nothing and if Chris shatters it, he’ll shatter Zach too.
Chris senses his hesitation but he’s sick of turning away, of feeling so lost and Zach is like a white gold thread running through his life for so many months now. He’s not just a rock to cling to; he’s a blinding light that will melt the chill that has begun to seep into Chris’ bones.
Like lightning he reaches for Zach’s hand, guiding him down and wrapping those slim fingers around himself.
The breath of a moan escapes Zach’s body and then he’s running his hand over Chris, thumb gently rubbing against the silk of his skin until Chris bucks and Zach twists his body and throws Chris down onto the bed beneath him.
His hair is hanging over his eyes and a puff of air to clear it makes Chris smile like the sun after a rainstorm. It’s that more than anything else that lets Zach throw the last of his hesitation to the back of his mind. As they kiss again, Chris’ hand snakes its way down between them and reaches for Zach. Zach returns the gesture and they both gasp as they begin to move against each other. Their sweat lets them slide effortlessly and soon Zach has to close his eyes to try and block out the vision of Chris beneath him - eyes blown wide with want, lips red from kissing but it’s no use. Zach will see that image until the day he dies.
“How far do you want to go?” he finds himself asking.
“As far as we can,” Chris replies. “As far as you’ll let me.”
Zach takes the hint and reaches blindly for the drawer in his bedside table. Chris takes the offered condom from him ever so gently but the tremor in his hand betrays his need and Zach can’t take his eyes off him until he’s done. Zach knows that he can take Chris without much difficulty and he wants to make this as easy as he can for Chris, so after he prepares himself he rolls onto his back and pulls Chris over to him.
“How...” Chris asks but Zach cuts him off.
“Just follow my lead.”
Years of yoga have paid off and Zach has no trouble lifting his legs and letting them rest around Chris’ upper torso. Chris seems to hesitate as he hovers over Zach, his hands on either side of his body. Zach reaches up to touch his face and Chris leans down for the gentlest kiss Zach has ever had. Then Chris pushes into him and all coherent thought is lost in the rush of feeling. Chris is nearly panting as he leans over Zach, one hand wrapped around his side and Zach can see that there are emotions warring across his beautiful face, even as his hand clenches possessively around Zach’s middle.
They look into each other eyes again and Zach can see Chris make a decision. Something lifts from his face, leaving it lighter and he bends down to press a kiss against Zach’s sternum before beginning to move in a steady rhythm. The heat in the room rises as the two men begin to rock together, their breathing becoming synchronised, Chris’ head pressed into Zach’s chest as his breaths become sighs, become moans, become cries and Zach voice rises to meet him - a duet of passion and need and heat and Zach thinks he must be dreaming this, must be dreaming the look of desire on Chris’ face as he rides above him. “Oh, come and collide in me,’ he thinks, ‘this sugar rush of glorious feeling - just don’t stop, oh please god don’t stop.’
Zach goes sky high as Chris’ rhythm deepens, slamming the bed into the wall and Zach is losing it, he’s on fire. Euphoria begins to trickle in and just at the moment that he knows he can’t take any more, Chris stalls above him and shudders in glorious agony, his head craned to the ceiling as Zach feels him pulse inside him and Zach’s body arches in ecstasy, his hands scrabbling for Chris’ face and pulling him down towards him as he spills over Chris’ chest.
Chris falls bonelessly on top of Zach, his breath coming fast and heavy.
Zach pulls Chris’ head against his chest with one hand curled in his hair - the other runs up and down his spine in an unconscious, repeating pattern.
Their breathing is slowing down now and exhaustion is finally creeping up on Chris, his head a near dead weight on Zach’s body.
“I’m yours,” whispers Zach. “All yours, always yours, undeniably yours.”
And Chris’ hand squeezes his arm in reply.
Part Six