On Being Bunny Foo-Foo'ed
This is long, but it was important to me to write about it. Try not to get too bored :).
Back in May at the May Moon Revel, we were told about a young man shipping out to Afganistan on, of all days, July 4th. That young solider was at the event, and all those witchy-type peoples sent thier energy out into The 'Verse for this young man to come back safe and whole in mind, body, and spirit.
At the time, I was going through a pretty significant crisis of Faith, one that was to continue, in truth, for several more months. But that night, hearing about this young soldier with Anubius as his Patron, I felt moved to do SOMETHING. To move beyond my own spiritual quagmire and offer something to the PTB for this kid's safety. Maybe it was merely because I am a Marine's daughter, who knows.
Anyway, the idea just came to me, and I asked Ivo, who was the coordinator for the event, if there were two particular songs on the evening playlist that could be done. He made it happened and I danced. No, I DANCED.
Earlier in the evening ASW had passed out the 'mojo bags' that were a part of the event swag. Little bundles of Magick meant to bring a bit of God/dess to us all. I held mine close as I Danced, directing all the energy, the power, and the beauty of Dance [or as much as my poor self could muster] into a spell woven around this young man, along no doubt with all of the others that night. The crowd faded and for a few moments it was just me and Music and Magick. I can't even recall what the songs were now, although I do know one was an Ego Likeness tune.
After the songs, I found the young man in the crowd. I did not introduce myself or offer any explaination beyond telling him that the mojo bag was now his, and to keep it with him. He pressed for more info. Who wouldn't, some strange old chick in fancy dress comes up to you and gives you a little velvet bag; you'd ask questions too! I told him "Come back safe and find me, THEN I'll tell you why.". Of course, I was pretty sure I'd never see the kid again. I felt good about what I'd done, but yeah, sort of stupid about it too, if I'm to be honest.
Life went on, as did my crisis of Faith, and after about July this year I was pretty close to just deciding God/dess was dead or [perhaps worse] just didn't give a fuck any more. But still, I tried. I went thru the motions.
Part of "Going thru the motions' was attending Wiccan/Pagan events, one of which was this weekend's Sisters of WomanSpirit retreat. I wasn't really looking for any kind of metaphysical experience, but I WAS going to get to see my Sippy Cup Sisters, so I figured I'd go.
During the course of the day Saturday and into Saturday evening's Solstice ritual, I met two woman, one older with a son just back from Afganistan, and one younger, the son's fiancee. {You can see where this is going now, huh?}. I put the pieces together and finally just asked if this young man, "Edward", was the soldier at the May Moon Revel. He was, and yes, he still had the bag.
This was, as Rosemary Spellman explained to me, my moment of "Being Bunny Foo-Foo'ed. Having The 'Verse bop me on the head in a way that ABSOLUTELY could not be rationalized away. & trust me, I TRIED.
So here we are. Crisis of Faith over, although that by NO means that suddenly life is 'good'. But at least the doubt is gone, and that awful empty place inside me is starting to heal over.
Back in May at the May Moon Revel, we were told about a young man shipping out to Afganistan on, of all days, July 4th. That young solider was at the event, and all those witchy-type peoples sent thier energy out into The 'Verse for this young man to come back safe and whole in mind, body, and spirit.
At the time, I was going through a pretty significant crisis of Faith, one that was to continue, in truth, for several more months. But that night, hearing about this young soldier with Anubius as his Patron, I felt moved to do SOMETHING. To move beyond my own spiritual quagmire and offer something to the PTB for this kid's safety. Maybe it was merely because I am a Marine's daughter, who knows.
Anyway, the idea just came to me, and I asked Ivo, who was the coordinator for the event, if there were two particular songs on the evening playlist that could be done. He made it happened and I danced. No, I DANCED.
Earlier in the evening ASW had passed out the 'mojo bags' that were a part of the event swag. Little bundles of Magick meant to bring a bit of God/dess to us all. I held mine close as I Danced, directing all the energy, the power, and the beauty of Dance [or as much as my poor self could muster] into a spell woven around this young man, along no doubt with all of the others that night. The crowd faded and for a few moments it was just me and Music and Magick. I can't even recall what the songs were now, although I do know one was an Ego Likeness tune.
After the songs, I found the young man in the crowd. I did not introduce myself or offer any explaination beyond telling him that the mojo bag was now his, and to keep it with him. He pressed for more info. Who wouldn't, some strange old chick in fancy dress comes up to you and gives you a little velvet bag; you'd ask questions too! I told him "Come back safe and find me, THEN I'll tell you why.". Of course, I was pretty sure I'd never see the kid again. I felt good about what I'd done, but yeah, sort of stupid about it too, if I'm to be honest.
Life went on, as did my crisis of Faith, and after about July this year I was pretty close to just deciding God/dess was dead or [perhaps worse] just didn't give a fuck any more. But still, I tried. I went thru the motions.
Part of "Going thru the motions' was attending Wiccan/Pagan events, one of which was this weekend's Sisters of WomanSpirit retreat. I wasn't really looking for any kind of metaphysical experience, but I WAS going to get to see my Sippy Cup Sisters, so I figured I'd go.
During the course of the day Saturday and into Saturday evening's Solstice ritual, I met two woman, one older with a son just back from Afganistan, and one younger, the son's fiancee. {You can see where this is going now, huh?}. I put the pieces together and finally just asked if this young man, "Edward", was the soldier at the May Moon Revel. He was, and yes, he still had the bag.
This was, as Rosemary Spellman explained to me, my moment of "Being Bunny Foo-Foo'ed. Having The 'Verse bop me on the head in a way that ABSOLUTELY could not be rationalized away. & trust me, I TRIED.
So here we are. Crisis of Faith over, although that by NO means that suddenly life is 'good'. But at least the doubt is gone, and that awful empty place inside me is starting to heal over.