it's been awhile...
wow, so it seems like it's been a few monthes since i've actually posted anything... i think i'll take advantage of this. =)
the way i figure, if this has been dead for at least 8 weeks, then people will have forgotten and will not read... this is good. well, maybe. *shrugs*
so it seems as though life hasn't been too terrible, but it hasn't been too great either. i guess for the meantime it's just there. to be honest with you, i really don't have anything much to complain about... if anything, i'll complain about having nothing to complain about. there doesn't seem to be any major drama, no major problems, no strong emotions towards anything in particular. so i guess these will be nothing more than a few observations.
first off, what i realized as i walked down the hall today towards mr. woo's room was this. i am so completely different from who i was only a few monthes ago. but not technically in a good way. i have gained a lot of experience and many lessons that are just a part of growing up, but a long with it i lost my spontenaety. i've lost that comfort that i once had with people, that ability to let myself go and be crazy, the ability to just have fun. in fact, i haven't had that much fun for a while now that it feels like i don't remember how to. for now it feels like i've been watching myself walk through my days, living my life... without actually experiencing any of it. it all seems so surreal. if it's one thing i'm sure of, it's the inkling of a feeling that this is not a good thing.
second of all, i've noticed a big change in the way we all treat each other. by "we" i mean the group of people that i call my friends... cause let's face it, even if you happen to stumble across this, i may not necessarily know you. anyways, it's so strange but we seem to have lost that mutual connection, that vital understanding of one another. i know that they tell me that they care about me... i sure get those "you know i love you" lines a lot, especially after a few choice and unflattering words have been spoken.. but when it comes down to it all, i just don't feel the sincerity that was once there. these days we rarely confide in each other,partly out of consideration of the other, but mostly because we feel the lack of understanding. this year has been such a difficult year for so many people as it is that we have learned that the last thing a person would need is our own problems... yet at the same time, we don't feel as if that person would give a damn if we did tell them. this is yet another problem. it could explain our contant bickering after a blood bath of wise cracks and the growing gaps between once good friends. it all ultimatly leads to the isolation within one's self which causes us to seperate ourselves from the herd. most times anyways.
well i guess that's all for now... see ya around.
the way i figure, if this has been dead for at least 8 weeks, then people will have forgotten and will not read... this is good. well, maybe. *shrugs*
so it seems as though life hasn't been too terrible, but it hasn't been too great either. i guess for the meantime it's just there. to be honest with you, i really don't have anything much to complain about... if anything, i'll complain about having nothing to complain about. there doesn't seem to be any major drama, no major problems, no strong emotions towards anything in particular. so i guess these will be nothing more than a few observations.
first off, what i realized as i walked down the hall today towards mr. woo's room was this. i am so completely different from who i was only a few monthes ago. but not technically in a good way. i have gained a lot of experience and many lessons that are just a part of growing up, but a long with it i lost my spontenaety. i've lost that comfort that i once had with people, that ability to let myself go and be crazy, the ability to just have fun. in fact, i haven't had that much fun for a while now that it feels like i don't remember how to. for now it feels like i've been watching myself walk through my days, living my life... without actually experiencing any of it. it all seems so surreal. if it's one thing i'm sure of, it's the inkling of a feeling that this is not a good thing.
second of all, i've noticed a big change in the way we all treat each other. by "we" i mean the group of people that i call my friends... cause let's face it, even if you happen to stumble across this, i may not necessarily know you. anyways, it's so strange but we seem to have lost that mutual connection, that vital understanding of one another. i know that they tell me that they care about me... i sure get those "you know i love you" lines a lot, especially after a few choice and unflattering words have been spoken.. but when it comes down to it all, i just don't feel the sincerity that was once there. these days we rarely confide in each other,partly out of consideration of the other, but mostly because we feel the lack of understanding. this year has been such a difficult year for so many people as it is that we have learned that the last thing a person would need is our own problems... yet at the same time, we don't feel as if that person would give a damn if we did tell them. this is yet another problem. it could explain our contant bickering after a blood bath of wise cracks and the growing gaps between once good friends. it all ultimatly leads to the isolation within one's self which causes us to seperate ourselves from the herd. most times anyways.
well i guess that's all for now... see ya around.