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How to Be Alone (A Guide in 8 Easy Steps)
1. Above all else, avoid letting the bathroom mirror fog over. The expenditure and ramifications of clearing a small silver circle can be terminal. I recommend investing in a fan or bathroom dehumidifier. This can save you hours of overblown introspection, spent staring at the smoldering edges of a cigarette. To be frank, in the prognosis of solitary, the act of uncovering one’s own reflection can overwhelm any progress made.
2. Choose a vice. This can be tricky; try to avoid a chemical flirtation typically construed with social behavior. Smoking cigarettes works, along with certain illegal chemical compounds. Alcohol may only be used in a last resort, as nothing is more pathetic than a lonely drunk.
3. Learn to smile like a knife. Practice this by gazing only at people’s hands, while running your tongue over the same jagged tooth, over and over again. It will come naturally. Do not be afraid, after some time, of staring people in the eye and not blinking. It will come naturally. The goal is to be in but not of; the goal is a sharp muttered isolation that chases away charity around the corners of night.
4. Fear inertia. The clandestine truth is that the more rambling and revelatory your physical life, the greater the innate ability to be alone. Travel often. Move often. Visitations abroad are a safe bet, as there is little chance of intimacy and awkward reconciliations in another, foreign tongue. Whittle away a secret geography and hoard it in your bones. This will become the map you travel so closely you are virtually unaware of its very presence.
5. Read many books. Contrary to popular misconception, an overactive imagination glosses the mottled sting of early-stage solitary. An imagination will find a way to nourish you, warm you, keep you clean and expansive. This is a mandate to be alone. Ply your creative spark with little games, such as how many stars you can count while you walk home alone, and what fantastic creatures may inhabit them.
6. Struggle against the humanizing components of desire. In fact, struggle simply to eschew desire in all forms. It is a slippery slope indeed; it begins with a simple supplication for a pleasant spasm or sensation, but it will inevitably define you: what you want will become the entirety of what you are. This is the initial dissolution to encroach on being alone. If you strive to become a saint, you will know what it is to be alone.
7. Keep two pillows on the bed. Absence and proximity are two terribly effective teachers. You may or may not cover the extraneous pillow with a pillow case, it is irrelevant. What matters is that you are boldly laying literally cheek-to-cheek with solitary and you are in control.
8. Dress and style your personal solitude with no regards to climate, environment, or cultural traditions. Wear ‘alone’ as shorts in December in Boston; dress it as an anklet in Las Vegas. Allow it breathing room or clutch it to your chest, a cloistered closed-energy system. Give it a skylight or a nice potted azalea. Make your loneliness glow with a thousand and one Christmas candles; make it dance. Paint the walls of you are tired of being alone in blue or orange. Remember, it is inexpressibly difficult to be alone, but it is significantly easier to do so through customization.
1. Above all else, avoid letting the bathroom mirror fog over. The expenditure and ramifications of clearing a small silver circle can be terminal. I recommend investing in a fan or bathroom dehumidifier. This can save you hours of overblown introspection, spent staring at the smoldering edges of a cigarette. To be frank, in the prognosis of solitary, the act of uncovering one’s own reflection can overwhelm any progress made.
2. Choose a vice. This can be tricky; try to avoid a chemical flirtation typically construed with social behavior. Smoking cigarettes works, along with certain illegal chemical compounds. Alcohol may only be used in a last resort, as nothing is more pathetic than a lonely drunk.
3. Learn to smile like a knife. Practice this by gazing only at people’s hands, while running your tongue over the same jagged tooth, over and over again. It will come naturally. Do not be afraid, after some time, of staring people in the eye and not blinking. It will come naturally. The goal is to be in but not of; the goal is a sharp muttered isolation that chases away charity around the corners of night.
4. Fear inertia. The clandestine truth is that the more rambling and revelatory your physical life, the greater the innate ability to be alone. Travel often. Move often. Visitations abroad are a safe bet, as there is little chance of intimacy and awkward reconciliations in another, foreign tongue. Whittle away a secret geography and hoard it in your bones. This will become the map you travel so closely you are virtually unaware of its very presence.
5. Read many books. Contrary to popular misconception, an overactive imagination glosses the mottled sting of early-stage solitary. An imagination will find a way to nourish you, warm you, keep you clean and expansive. This is a mandate to be alone. Ply your creative spark with little games, such as how many stars you can count while you walk home alone, and what fantastic creatures may inhabit them.
6. Struggle against the humanizing components of desire. In fact, struggle simply to eschew desire in all forms. It is a slippery slope indeed; it begins with a simple supplication for a pleasant spasm or sensation, but it will inevitably define you: what you want will become the entirety of what you are. This is the initial dissolution to encroach on being alone. If you strive to become a saint, you will know what it is to be alone.
7. Keep two pillows on the bed. Absence and proximity are two terribly effective teachers. You may or may not cover the extraneous pillow with a pillow case, it is irrelevant. What matters is that you are boldly laying literally cheek-to-cheek with solitary and you are in control.
8. Dress and style your personal solitude with no regards to climate, environment, or cultural traditions. Wear ‘alone’ as shorts in December in Boston; dress it as an anklet in Las Vegas. Allow it breathing room or clutch it to your chest, a cloistered closed-energy system. Give it a skylight or a nice potted azalea. Make your loneliness glow with a thousand and one Christmas candles; make it dance. Paint the walls of you are tired of being alone in blue or orange. Remember, it is inexpressibly difficult to be alone, but it is significantly easier to do so through customization.