Don't call me daughter.
That old Pearl Jam song is looping through my head. This rapid declination...I'm enjoying it, I suppose. I think I've reached my exerting effort limit today though. I started getting dressed and combing my hair to go out, and I literally just deflated and took off my shirt and put on boxers and starting reading Raise the roof beam. And then I ordered a (small) pizza, delivery.
I think the moral of the story, or the crux to draw from at least, is that I am doing alright. I felt like pure distilled sunshine today-which ironically has been virtually the only weather pattern Seattle has had in a good month- but when I got home from work around seven I just stagnated in front of the computer monitor for a bit, and then realized that showering, and getting dressed, and waiting for and then riding a bus, and then choosing a bar/club/coffee shop/entertainment venue to just...well, loiter in, I suppose, and smile at people and maybe try to talk to strangers was an absurdly draining notion. And I suspect that I will go out tomorrow, and Sunday, and thus I don't feel guilty of inertia or fear. Although honestly, as I'm sure twenty indie bands have said, it's hard to find a friend.
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I think the moral of the story, or the crux to draw from at least, is that I am doing alright. I felt like pure distilled sunshine today-which ironically has been virtually the only weather pattern Seattle has had in a good month- but when I got home from work around seven I just stagnated in front of the computer monitor for a bit, and then realized that showering, and getting dressed, and waiting for and then riding a bus, and then choosing a bar/club/coffee shop/entertainment venue to just...well, loiter in, I suppose, and smile at people and maybe try to talk to strangers was an absurdly draining notion. And I suspect that I will go out tomorrow, and Sunday, and thus I don't feel guilty of inertia or fear. Although honestly, as I'm sure twenty indie bands have said, it's hard to find a friend.