the last few days
I've been slack, I know. But I've also been busy. And tired, as usual. Wednesday was a busy day. I went to work, and then ran out of work fifteen minutes early so that I could walk to the doctors. It's a half hour walk, which I don't mind, and I'm happy that Katie let me leave early because I don't think she was going to. I got my script for the double dosage of my anti-depressants for the same price as one month dosage, which is good because I was going broke paying double the money! I also found out that I do have thrush, it's just really stubborn.
Then I left, and it started raining on me. I got half way home/in to town (because I'd decided to go to the chemist in town to get what I needed for thrush) when it really started coming down. Luckily Lisa was driving past and gave me a lift into town. I was happy to walk in the rain, but then it started coming down a bit too hard and fast. The smell was good though. It was the most beautiful rain smell ever, like rain infused with a hot summer's day. It was just nice. One of the best smells around I'd say. None of the chemists had what I was looking for, so I kept looking until the pharmicist at the fourth
chemist I went to told me that that product had been discontinued and told me about some other ones. So I bought one. It was coming down really hard outside, and I'd run across the road where there was like no shop cover for probably a hundred meters. Needless to say, I got soaked. It probably wasn't the best idea, but I didn't really feel like waiting around. The final chemist I went to is in the new centre in town, and it was raining so hard that they sandbagged one of the doors because the drain couldn't handle the water. It was funny because most people were in a state of panic thinking the centre would flood again, but all it was was just a half hour sudden down pour. Those drains need to be better equipped to handle that amount of water.
It finally stopped, after I'd walked around town aimlessly but kind of looking for an umbrella. It turns out I didn't need one because as soon as it stopped raining the clouds disappeared and the sun came out. I managed to walk home and up to Mark before Mark finished work. The photo is of a cool little World AIDS Day sticker that someone has stuck on the button you press to cross the road. I like little random things like that, and like the sign up near the TAFE (it's a STOP sign, and someone has spray painted "and think" underneath it). At the moment my ambition as a photographer is to travel the world looking for cute little signs like those and photograph them, in black and white and colour. There's one near the doctor's as well, but it was raining then and I didn't want to stop and get the camera wet. The people in their cars at this intersection must have thought I was a little odd taking a photo of the button, but I'm sure no one noticed.
As soon as I made it home we went grocery shopping. Mark was late finishing work, which meant I sat around doing nothing for twenty minutes just waiting for him. We didn't buy many groceries at all, because I'm short of cash and Christmas shopping isn't helping. The whole shop took us fifteen minutes. We just bought basics, as we don't need much in the way of dinner this week, and we both don't each much normally. It cost us about $60, which I paid because I owe Mark money. I also bought a little bottle of brandy for my Christmas pudding.
Then I ran (ok well Mark drove me, but we were in a hurry) to Louise's fundraiser. I'm not sure if I've actually explained this, so I will here. She's in the Miss World competition, but only at the early stages. They're at Miss NSW first, and there's like a thousand girls competing. In my opinion, I don't think Louise is supermodel material yet. She's pretty, and she's tall and skinny, but she's lacking the passion thing, and there's definately things she could do to improve her appearance, like taking care of her face (she has pimples, I think they're stress pimples), and actually taking an interest in things like fashion. And plus this year she finished her HSC and missed schoolies and it's been hard on her organising everything and getting to Sydney on her own money. Mum said she should have waiting until next year, but she didn't listen. Anyway, in this Miss NSW thing, one of the things they have to do is raise money for a charity (because it's not like one of those ones where all you need to do is look good, you have to actually do things as well). Louise chose the Westpac Rescue Helicopter Service, which is a good charity, and she's obsessed with kids. She held a kids' Christmas party at the party place that she works on Wednesday night, and she's been on the radio and made up fliers and everything. It was a mild success. I felt bad for her because it didn't go as well as it could have, but it still was pretty good for a first time charity fundraiser event. Not many kids turned up, about thirty, whereas the place can hold a hundred. It did rain though, and there was another thunderstorm warning, which kept people away. She raised some money, but I hope this charity thing isn't a competition because then she would lose. We're in a small town, and we're not rich, and there's not many people here that are. It's not like she can get her daddy's company to throw in a couple of thousand dollars in sponsorship, or she can hold a black tie event for all the rich kids where they don't care how much money they lose because it doesn't matter to them. Louise worked real hard on this fundraiser, and I think considering who we are and where we are it went well. It could have gone better, but she wasn't given much time to organise her fundraising thing. I hope she continues to raise money though, it would be a shame if she stopped at this thing.
Lisa and her family was there, which was nice because I hadn't actually seen them in a while. Chloe turned thirteen last month, and Mum and Louise went to the dinner at their house. Mum said that Chloe's old friends had kind of abandoned her for some reason, so she'd picked up new friends, and that these new friends were loud, tarty and rude. Chloe is totally the complete opposite, she is beautiful and shy and timid and quiet, but I think maybe she's just trying to fit in somewhere. Anyway, Chloe turned up at this fundraiser wearing more make up than any thirteen year old girl should! I couldn't believe it. I remember when I was in year seven, the first time I wore mascara to school a couple of the boys noticed and made a big deal out of it. I had a friend who wore purple eye shadow, so for a little while I wore purple eye shadow. I didn't start doing a full face of make up some days until about year ten, and even then I had skin that didn't need foundation, and most days I just wore eye shadow and lip gloss. Chloe is growing up pretty fast, and I'm sure Lisa isn't happy about this new company.
By the time I got home and settled I was so tired, I just went to bed. I wasn't tired like I was tired on Tuesday, but still recovering from being so tired. My sleeping patterns are somewhat normal now, but I still get tired really quickly. I just kind of crash.
Yesterday I worked all day on the checkouts. It wasn't such a bad day, except for some weird reason I felt light headed and hot all day. I got a little fan, and some lollies, and I felt better after lunch, but then it came back. I didn't want to see if I could go home because I'd taken today off, and we're all going out together on Saturday night, so they wouldn't like that at all. I just struggled through it. It wasn't that bad, I've definately had worse. The day got better as it went on, and I enjoyed the last hour because my panadol kicked in and I had a few nice customers. Christmas time is crazy, but for the most part, people are cheery.
Yesterday afternoon I started watching Lord of the Rings, because I felt like it because I've been trying to read it (I'm over half way through The Fellowship of the Ring), but after I got past where I'd read to I got bored. My big personal project at the moment is my photo albums, which I've gone crazy on. I've filled one and a half albums up, and I've got heaps more to go. I've printed out photos until the end of 2006, but there were some I missed of Mum's camera and Charlotte's camera, so I went through and left spaces and wrote captions and now I just need to print more photos out. Last night I started going through 2007 photos to print some time soon, and not much happened in 2007 that was photo worthy. There are lots of random selfies and random friends, but I'm not printing any of those out. I want good photos, photos that show that we did something. So far all I've got for 2007 is my holiday, Sarah coming down (yes I'm printing those and sticking them in, it did happen), me changing my hair and a few nights going out with Ally and Charlotte. I'm really excited. Doing these photos has been something I've wanted to do for a while. After this I'll put them all on discs, and do a set of discs for Mum for her albums. I need a new photo album soon though. I think Mum has a few spare.
I feel good today. Really, just happy. Like I really can get through this now. It's like there isn't a doubt anymore, I know I can get better. My appointment with Eden today will be interesting. I think I will print those entries out and give them to her to read. I don't think I need to do any of that stuff that we were doing before, where we tried to find out what I thought of myself in my deepest thoughts. I think I can think positive now. I really do think I can do this. I always knew that I deserved good things, but I never used to believe it because no one else did. Now I know that other people think that I deserve it. I've been going around asking people to come out with my tomorrow night, and most people seem really excited to be invited, like not obligated or not really not wanting to go. This is exciting for me, because I've always thought most people disliked me. Now people are excited to be coming, which makes me feel loved. I really do feel good, and positive, and hopeful. I'd write more, but I'm not really in the mood right now. I'm excited that tomorrow is my birthday, and excited to be posting, but thinking I really need to get this place cleaned up before this afternoon!
It's dark and miserable looking outside, but I love it. Tonight will be the perfect night to watch movies. I hope it rains, though I hope it doesn't for tomorrow. It'll be funny if it does, because most of my appointments with Eden have been when it's been raining. I do enjoy walking in the rain though.
Then I left, and it started raining on me. I got half way home/in to town (because I'd decided to go to the chemist in town to get what I needed for thrush) when it really started coming down. Luckily Lisa was driving past and gave me a lift into town. I was happy to walk in the rain, but then it started coming down a bit too hard and fast. The smell was good though. It was the most beautiful rain smell ever, like rain infused with a hot summer's day. It was just nice. One of the best smells around I'd say. None of the chemists had what I was looking for, so I kept looking until the pharmicist at the fourth
chemist I went to told me that that product had been discontinued and told me about some other ones. So I bought one. It was coming down really hard outside, and I'd run across the road where there was like no shop cover for probably a hundred meters. Needless to say, I got soaked. It probably wasn't the best idea, but I didn't really feel like waiting around. The final chemist I went to is in the new centre in town, and it was raining so hard that they sandbagged one of the doors because the drain couldn't handle the water. It was funny because most people were in a state of panic thinking the centre would flood again, but all it was was just a half hour sudden down pour. Those drains need to be better equipped to handle that amount of water.
It finally stopped, after I'd walked around town aimlessly but kind of looking for an umbrella. It turns out I didn't need one because as soon as it stopped raining the clouds disappeared and the sun came out. I managed to walk home and up to Mark before Mark finished work. The photo is of a cool little World AIDS Day sticker that someone has stuck on the button you press to cross the road. I like little random things like that, and like the sign up near the TAFE (it's a STOP sign, and someone has spray painted "and think" underneath it). At the moment my ambition as a photographer is to travel the world looking for cute little signs like those and photograph them, in black and white and colour. There's one near the doctor's as well, but it was raining then and I didn't want to stop and get the camera wet. The people in their cars at this intersection must have thought I was a little odd taking a photo of the button, but I'm sure no one noticed.
As soon as I made it home we went grocery shopping. Mark was late finishing work, which meant I sat around doing nothing for twenty minutes just waiting for him. We didn't buy many groceries at all, because I'm short of cash and Christmas shopping isn't helping. The whole shop took us fifteen minutes. We just bought basics, as we don't need much in the way of dinner this week, and we both don't each much normally. It cost us about $60, which I paid because I owe Mark money. I also bought a little bottle of brandy for my Christmas pudding.
Then I ran (ok well Mark drove me, but we were in a hurry) to Louise's fundraiser. I'm not sure if I've actually explained this, so I will here. She's in the Miss World competition, but only at the early stages. They're at Miss NSW first, and there's like a thousand girls competing. In my opinion, I don't think Louise is supermodel material yet. She's pretty, and she's tall and skinny, but she's lacking the passion thing, and there's definately things she could do to improve her appearance, like taking care of her face (she has pimples, I think they're stress pimples), and actually taking an interest in things like fashion. And plus this year she finished her HSC and missed schoolies and it's been hard on her organising everything and getting to Sydney on her own money. Mum said she should have waiting until next year, but she didn't listen. Anyway, in this Miss NSW thing, one of the things they have to do is raise money for a charity (because it's not like one of those ones where all you need to do is look good, you have to actually do things as well). Louise chose the Westpac Rescue Helicopter Service, which is a good charity, and she's obsessed with kids. She held a kids' Christmas party at the party place that she works on Wednesday night, and she's been on the radio and made up fliers and everything. It was a mild success. I felt bad for her because it didn't go as well as it could have, but it still was pretty good for a first time charity fundraiser event. Not many kids turned up, about thirty, whereas the place can hold a hundred. It did rain though, and there was another thunderstorm warning, which kept people away. She raised some money, but I hope this charity thing isn't a competition because then she would lose. We're in a small town, and we're not rich, and there's not many people here that are. It's not like she can get her daddy's company to throw in a couple of thousand dollars in sponsorship, or she can hold a black tie event for all the rich kids where they don't care how much money they lose because it doesn't matter to them. Louise worked real hard on this fundraiser, and I think considering who we are and where we are it went well. It could have gone better, but she wasn't given much time to organise her fundraising thing. I hope she continues to raise money though, it would be a shame if she stopped at this thing.
Lisa and her family was there, which was nice because I hadn't actually seen them in a while. Chloe turned thirteen last month, and Mum and Louise went to the dinner at their house. Mum said that Chloe's old friends had kind of abandoned her for some reason, so she'd picked up new friends, and that these new friends were loud, tarty and rude. Chloe is totally the complete opposite, she is beautiful and shy and timid and quiet, but I think maybe she's just trying to fit in somewhere. Anyway, Chloe turned up at this fundraiser wearing more make up than any thirteen year old girl should! I couldn't believe it. I remember when I was in year seven, the first time I wore mascara to school a couple of the boys noticed and made a big deal out of it. I had a friend who wore purple eye shadow, so for a little while I wore purple eye shadow. I didn't start doing a full face of make up some days until about year ten, and even then I had skin that didn't need foundation, and most days I just wore eye shadow and lip gloss. Chloe is growing up pretty fast, and I'm sure Lisa isn't happy about this new company.
By the time I got home and settled I was so tired, I just went to bed. I wasn't tired like I was tired on Tuesday, but still recovering from being so tired. My sleeping patterns are somewhat normal now, but I still get tired really quickly. I just kind of crash.
Yesterday I worked all day on the checkouts. It wasn't such a bad day, except for some weird reason I felt light headed and hot all day. I got a little fan, and some lollies, and I felt better after lunch, but then it came back. I didn't want to see if I could go home because I'd taken today off, and we're all going out together on Saturday night, so they wouldn't like that at all. I just struggled through it. It wasn't that bad, I've definately had worse. The day got better as it went on, and I enjoyed the last hour because my panadol kicked in and I had a few nice customers. Christmas time is crazy, but for the most part, people are cheery.
Yesterday afternoon I started watching Lord of the Rings, because I felt like it because I've been trying to read it (I'm over half way through The Fellowship of the Ring), but after I got past where I'd read to I got bored. My big personal project at the moment is my photo albums, which I've gone crazy on. I've filled one and a half albums up, and I've got heaps more to go. I've printed out photos until the end of 2006, but there were some I missed of Mum's camera and Charlotte's camera, so I went through and left spaces and wrote captions and now I just need to print more photos out. Last night I started going through 2007 photos to print some time soon, and not much happened in 2007 that was photo worthy. There are lots of random selfies and random friends, but I'm not printing any of those out. I want good photos, photos that show that we did something. So far all I've got for 2007 is my holiday, Sarah coming down (yes I'm printing those and sticking them in, it did happen), me changing my hair and a few nights going out with Ally and Charlotte. I'm really excited. Doing these photos has been something I've wanted to do for a while. After this I'll put them all on discs, and do a set of discs for Mum for her albums. I need a new photo album soon though. I think Mum has a few spare.
I feel good today. Really, just happy. Like I really can get through this now. It's like there isn't a doubt anymore, I know I can get better. My appointment with Eden today will be interesting. I think I will print those entries out and give them to her to read. I don't think I need to do any of that stuff that we were doing before, where we tried to find out what I thought of myself in my deepest thoughts. I think I can think positive now. I really do think I can do this. I always knew that I deserved good things, but I never used to believe it because no one else did. Now I know that other people think that I deserve it. I've been going around asking people to come out with my tomorrow night, and most people seem really excited to be invited, like not obligated or not really not wanting to go. This is exciting for me, because I've always thought most people disliked me. Now people are excited to be coming, which makes me feel loved. I really do feel good, and positive, and hopeful. I'd write more, but I'm not really in the mood right now. I'm excited that tomorrow is my birthday, and excited to be posting, but thinking I really need to get this place cleaned up before this afternoon!
It's dark and miserable looking outside, but I love it. Tonight will be the perfect night to watch movies. I hope it rains, though I hope it doesn't for tomorrow. It'll be funny if it does, because most of my appointments with Eden have been when it's been raining. I do enjoy walking in the rain though.