sleepy
I'm having staying awake issues. I'm so damn tired. Not in the same way that the anti-depressants made me tired when I first started taking them though. Then I was tired all the time, I was never awake, always half asleep. I went to bed at 9pm and struggled to get out of bed at 9am when I didn't have to work. Now I'm awake all day, less tired but I yawn so much more, but I just get so tired all of a sudden. Twenty minutes ago I was awake and ready to do something. Now it's 9pm and I'm seriously trying to hold my eyes open. Sleep is something I want so badly right now. I'd take it, if I didn't know that going to bed now would cause me to be totally awake at 5am. I don't want to wake up that early. I can't stand being woken at 6am on a day I don't have to work. It's too hard to get up then, too hard to be quiet, there's not much I can do at that hour of the morning. But you know what, I think I will go to bed really soon, and just wake up early. My iPod is charged, so I should be able to find something to do.
I'm planning on doing some research into ways to help me stay awake longer. I know I really need to start eating better, but I'm struggling to fight one battle at a time let alone more than that. I'm already fighting my thoughts, and now I'm trying to fight being tired. I can't fight the urge to not eat on top of that. I was thinking I might just dose up on vitamins like crazy, because then at least I'd be getting what I needed from what I don't eat. I was going to start taking a multi vitamin every day, but I took it once and have since forgotten about it. Or just not been bothered really. Habits like that I find hard to form.
I spent the day at Mum's today. I hadn't planned to, I'd planned to sit at home and do some serious cleaning up, but at 8:30am this morning I decided to get Mark to take me around there. We talked lots, Louise was there. I played with Bub. We went shopping. She bought me a date loaf. We discussed Christmas presents and plans and gossiped about John's family, which I'm absolutely sick of doing. Louise didn't go on her schoolies week because she's too stressed out because she's been spending too much time with her boyfriend so she hasn't had a chance to organise her fundraiser that she has to do as part of the Miss World competition that she's in. They're still at very early stages, and there was like a thousand entrants, so she might not get anywhere, but at least she'll still be raising money for charity at the moment. I wanted to ask her to do a mental health place, but we don't see eye to eye on that topic. She's doing a rescue helicopter service, because she loves kids, and with where she works she's automatically got a place to hold a kids Christmas party. Anyway, I got a short list of possible gifts for all of them. I only got two things each for Louise and Jayden. Louise didn't know what she wanted, and Jayden was unresponsive. He totally ignored me. He was in such a mood when he got home from school so something must have happened there.
There was a car accident in town today. Well more just an accident in general. We walked up to it about two minutes after it happened, as usual, so I have no idea what exactly happened. Some how a car crushed the no u-turn sign on the road island just after a pedestrian crossing, and then some how managed to turn the other way, miss all the cars that were parked, miss all the poles and trees and chairs and people, and drive ten metres up the big side walk (without braking by the way, there was no skid marks), and hit and possibly dragged this precious old lady for some distance. As far as we could tell she wasn't hurt too badly, probably just in shock more than anything else. She was bleeding, though there was not much blood, and it was on her arm. There were people everywhere, and a few different versions of what happened. Mum and I thought it over a thousand times, and it just doesn't seem possible to hit the sign and then end up on the footpath. We're quite confused. The main street here is pretty screwed up. They tried to make it look better years ago, but now it's a pain in the ass, with one very thin line of traffic going each way. It was fun trying to get two ambulances, a police car, a fire engine and a tow truck in there, not to mention the cars that were already parked there and the cars that were trying to drive through, and the cars of the news people that were trying to get a park. It turns out that the women who was driving the car that ended up on the footpath is the lady that owns the hairdressers that we go to. That's a little bit scary. I wonder what will happen, if she'll get charged with anything, or how badly that other lady was hurt. She was still moving when they loaded her into the ambulance, so I doubt she was hurt very badly. That's just our little bit of excitement for this week, or month rather. I did get a photo:
As it's possible to see, there's lots of obstacles around the place (chairs, street lights, bins, cars, people) that it's amazing that this car didn't hit. I guess it's just lucky that the sidewalk is so big! I didn't get a chance to watch the news (as I was out buying beer with Mark) but we can pretty much figure out what happened, and next time we get our hair cut we'll ask.
Today was a good day, but I'm not feeling so good now. Whenever I stop doing something, or am alone, or start thinking, that's when things go downhill. I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment this week, although I can't fathom why I would have made an appointment for a Thursday because I work every Thursday. I rescheduled to December 10, which means I'll just be waiting longer to get a script to get my medication cheaper because it'll be set the right dosage so I won't be doubling up. It seems really far away, but in all reality it's actually only about two weeks. It just means I'll have to get one more lot of the 20mg dosage before I get the proper script. Although, maybe by that time I'll need to up my dosage again, sometimes it still doesn't feel like quite enough.
That week is going to be a big week. I've got my doctor's appointment on the 10th, and Louise's fundraiser thing is that night too. The Twilight movie comes out on the 11th, but it's a Thursday so I won't really be able to go and see it on that day. I've got my appointment with Eden on the 12th, and I've taken that day off work, and the 13th is my birthday. Hopefully the week isn't too hard, but I was planning on seeing Twilight on my birthday, which will definately make me feel good.
Speaking of Twilight, yesterday I found out that Courtney and Tara like it just as much as I do. That makes me feel good, like I'm not the only obsessed kid around here! I know they've gone through a few copies at Big W because Mark told me. Apparently someone rang up and enquired about Midnight Sun, which is still being written. I've decided that I quite like Courtney, and I'm going to be nicer to her. Maybe we can be good friends again.
Yea, I'm sure I had something else to write about tonight, but I don't really care now. I'm tired. I hate being tired. I also didn't wash today. Oops.
I'm planning on doing some research into ways to help me stay awake longer. I know I really need to start eating better, but I'm struggling to fight one battle at a time let alone more than that. I'm already fighting my thoughts, and now I'm trying to fight being tired. I can't fight the urge to not eat on top of that. I was thinking I might just dose up on vitamins like crazy, because then at least I'd be getting what I needed from what I don't eat. I was going to start taking a multi vitamin every day, but I took it once and have since forgotten about it. Or just not been bothered really. Habits like that I find hard to form.
I spent the day at Mum's today. I hadn't planned to, I'd planned to sit at home and do some serious cleaning up, but at 8:30am this morning I decided to get Mark to take me around there. We talked lots, Louise was there. I played with Bub. We went shopping. She bought me a date loaf. We discussed Christmas presents and plans and gossiped about John's family, which I'm absolutely sick of doing. Louise didn't go on her schoolies week because she's too stressed out because she's been spending too much time with her boyfriend so she hasn't had a chance to organise her fundraiser that she has to do as part of the Miss World competition that she's in. They're still at very early stages, and there was like a thousand entrants, so she might not get anywhere, but at least she'll still be raising money for charity at the moment. I wanted to ask her to do a mental health place, but we don't see eye to eye on that topic. She's doing a rescue helicopter service, because she loves kids, and with where she works she's automatically got a place to hold a kids Christmas party. Anyway, I got a short list of possible gifts for all of them. I only got two things each for Louise and Jayden. Louise didn't know what she wanted, and Jayden was unresponsive. He totally ignored me. He was in such a mood when he got home from school so something must have happened there.
There was a car accident in town today. Well more just an accident in general. We walked up to it about two minutes after it happened, as usual, so I have no idea what exactly happened. Some how a car crushed the no u-turn sign on the road island just after a pedestrian crossing, and then some how managed to turn the other way, miss all the cars that were parked, miss all the poles and trees and chairs and people, and drive ten metres up the big side walk (without braking by the way, there was no skid marks), and hit and possibly dragged this precious old lady for some distance. As far as we could tell she wasn't hurt too badly, probably just in shock more than anything else. She was bleeding, though there was not much blood, and it was on her arm. There were people everywhere, and a few different versions of what happened. Mum and I thought it over a thousand times, and it just doesn't seem possible to hit the sign and then end up on the footpath. We're quite confused. The main street here is pretty screwed up. They tried to make it look better years ago, but now it's a pain in the ass, with one very thin line of traffic going each way. It was fun trying to get two ambulances, a police car, a fire engine and a tow truck in there, not to mention the cars that were already parked there and the cars that were trying to drive through, and the cars of the news people that were trying to get a park. It turns out that the women who was driving the car that ended up on the footpath is the lady that owns the hairdressers that we go to. That's a little bit scary. I wonder what will happen, if she'll get charged with anything, or how badly that other lady was hurt. She was still moving when they loaded her into the ambulance, so I doubt she was hurt very badly. That's just our little bit of excitement for this week, or month rather. I did get a photo:
As it's possible to see, there's lots of obstacles around the place (chairs, street lights, bins, cars, people) that it's amazing that this car didn't hit. I guess it's just lucky that the sidewalk is so big! I didn't get a chance to watch the news (as I was out buying beer with Mark) but we can pretty much figure out what happened, and next time we get our hair cut we'll ask.
Today was a good day, but I'm not feeling so good now. Whenever I stop doing something, or am alone, or start thinking, that's when things go downhill. I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment this week, although I can't fathom why I would have made an appointment for a Thursday because I work every Thursday. I rescheduled to December 10, which means I'll just be waiting longer to get a script to get my medication cheaper because it'll be set the right dosage so I won't be doubling up. It seems really far away, but in all reality it's actually only about two weeks. It just means I'll have to get one more lot of the 20mg dosage before I get the proper script. Although, maybe by that time I'll need to up my dosage again, sometimes it still doesn't feel like quite enough.
That week is going to be a big week. I've got my doctor's appointment on the 10th, and Louise's fundraiser thing is that night too. The Twilight movie comes out on the 11th, but it's a Thursday so I won't really be able to go and see it on that day. I've got my appointment with Eden on the 12th, and I've taken that day off work, and the 13th is my birthday. Hopefully the week isn't too hard, but I was planning on seeing Twilight on my birthday, which will definately make me feel good.
Speaking of Twilight, yesterday I found out that Courtney and Tara like it just as much as I do. That makes me feel good, like I'm not the only obsessed kid around here! I know they've gone through a few copies at Big W because Mark told me. Apparently someone rang up and enquired about Midnight Sun, which is still being written. I've decided that I quite like Courtney, and I'm going to be nicer to her. Maybe we can be good friends again.
Yea, I'm sure I had something else to write about tonight, but I don't really care now. I'm tired. I hate being tired. I also didn't wash today. Oops.