Ready for a new year.
I would love to say I spent today in peaceful contemplation of letting go of last year and getting my house clear of negative feelings and regrets. I did take out the trash, so yay me.
But. I sat down to make out my monthly budget, only a few days late. It looks easier to accomplish than it has in over a year. We are going to our education conference next month, in spite of the fact that we will all have to take unpaid leave to do so. Usually hubby has paid vacation to burn but not this time. He started with a new company last year and is at least four months from vacation pay. I have a plan to make this work and for the first time in a long time I think it will all work out alright.
Next weekend we are moving my MIL into senior housing. It has assisted living available so this should be the last place she ever lives. I'm working on moving day, at one of the three big local bridal shows so I can't miss it. My SIL will take all the credit and bask in the awesomeness of all my meticulous and exhausting planning. I don't even care anymore. I've been taking care of her every day for years. I can't do this anymore. I take care of two households full time, and two more a large percentage of the time. I just don't have anything left. I haven't spoken to anyone outside my family in months. I haven't done anything but work, home and MIL for weeks. MIL loves the place, loves all the furniture I helped her pick out, and is very excited about me packing for her tomorrow.
The only wrinkle is that occasionally she goes a little spacey and thinks she's moving in with her partner. He died almost a year ago. Every single time I have to tell her again that he's gone I feel my sanity get a little thinner. I'm starting to look forward to the nervous breakdown I feel coming on. I hope her doctor is right and she's just overwhelmed and the move with put her back in her right mind. I'd like mine back.
In three weeks Bitty will be home on leave. I am leaving our decorations up. We did not host a big Xmas party this year, we'll be having it while she's home. It is my bright spot on the horizon. I can't wait.
But. I sat down to make out my monthly budget, only a few days late. It looks easier to accomplish than it has in over a year. We are going to our education conference next month, in spite of the fact that we will all have to take unpaid leave to do so. Usually hubby has paid vacation to burn but not this time. He started with a new company last year and is at least four months from vacation pay. I have a plan to make this work and for the first time in a long time I think it will all work out alright.
Next weekend we are moving my MIL into senior housing. It has assisted living available so this should be the last place she ever lives. I'm working on moving day, at one of the three big local bridal shows so I can't miss it. My SIL will take all the credit and bask in the awesomeness of all my meticulous and exhausting planning. I don't even care anymore. I've been taking care of her every day for years. I can't do this anymore. I take care of two households full time, and two more a large percentage of the time. I just don't have anything left. I haven't spoken to anyone outside my family in months. I haven't done anything but work, home and MIL for weeks. MIL loves the place, loves all the furniture I helped her pick out, and is very excited about me packing for her tomorrow.
The only wrinkle is that occasionally she goes a little spacey and thinks she's moving in with her partner. He died almost a year ago. Every single time I have to tell her again that he's gone I feel my sanity get a little thinner. I'm starting to look forward to the nervous breakdown I feel coming on. I hope her doctor is right and she's just overwhelmed and the move with put her back in her right mind. I'd like mine back.
In three weeks Bitty will be home on leave. I am leaving our decorations up. We did not host a big Xmas party this year, we'll be having it while she's home. It is my bright spot on the horizon. I can't wait.