(no subject)
"You don't have to give me the moon or the stars...just promise you'll stand under them with me"
I just wrote in here but I have to again. I found myself trying to compensate being "single" again. Even though I have been for some time, it never felt that way. Since I was SOOOO into Nick, I felt guilty even talking to another boy. I beat myself up every day b/c I was trying so hard to show Nick that he could trust me. B/c I am a natuarly flirty person, i don't flirt to find a boy, it's just my personality. I was crying on my roomates shoulder on Monday night. This turned into making out...which I really didn't want to do. I felt sick. I kicked him out locked my door, and slid down the door to the ground and cried. I ended up balling up and sleeping on the floor in front of my door. I called Brian, and as soon as I said "Nick and I are over", he was like "so when's the next time you're going to be in Daytona". I can't believe him. I don't want another boy to TOUCH me for the rest of the semester at least. I think I would throw up.
I didn the whole sending Nick my LJ link again...apperently I will always be retarded. I have to write a paper today. I don't think anything else could make me feel shittier right now.
HUMPH...everything sucks. OH and I apperently am going to NY by myself...great...i think I'll cry the whole time I'm there.
And here I thought I found him.
I just wrote in here but I have to again. I found myself trying to compensate being "single" again. Even though I have been for some time, it never felt that way. Since I was SOOOO into Nick, I felt guilty even talking to another boy. I beat myself up every day b/c I was trying so hard to show Nick that he could trust me. B/c I am a natuarly flirty person, i don't flirt to find a boy, it's just my personality. I was crying on my roomates shoulder on Monday night. This turned into making out...which I really didn't want to do. I felt sick. I kicked him out locked my door, and slid down the door to the ground and cried. I ended up balling up and sleeping on the floor in front of my door. I called Brian, and as soon as I said "Nick and I are over", he was like "so when's the next time you're going to be in Daytona". I can't believe him. I don't want another boy to TOUCH me for the rest of the semester at least. I think I would throw up.
I didn the whole sending Nick my LJ link again...apperently I will always be retarded. I have to write a paper today. I don't think anything else could make me feel shittier right now.
HUMPH...everything sucks. OH and I apperently am going to NY by myself...great...i think I'll cry the whole time I'm there.
And here I thought I found him.