(no subject)
This journal has been going in the totally wrong direction. I mean, I could not help the direction it was going in because my medication was so shitty before, but now I am starting to experience more possibilities of thought. I have been writing in a private journal endlessly, it seems, and posting thoughts on Facebook. Mostly observations of life and observations of my emotional life which mostly feels numb and dead with some fear thrown in.
I feel as if the thoughts I have had lately are more important, that I am working something out for myself. There are realizations I have reached that I have not posted here and may never post. Because this seems to be a blog about my endless travails, not the ideas I have about, for lack of a better word, self, or character, or development, or "depression".
I don't really feel like posting at length here, not for any particularly deep reason, or a reason I would care to explain in depth. I do wish I could share my newest thoughts with more than just a Facebook audience, but I haven't found a group or forum where they would make sense. I might collect them together eventually, a group of really tiny micro-commentaries or something.
I'm just noting that I am not happy with the direction here. And I'd post some of my new thoughts, except hardly anyone reads LJ anymore.