So Dark the Cone of Häagen-Dazs®
The first thought I had when I espied Häagen-Dazs' Mayan Chocolate in the freezer section was, "Jumping chunky monkey! Is that a tie-in ice cream to Mel Gibson's Apocalypto!?" After ascertaining that an unholy union between delicious ice cream and the obnoxious Mel Gibson's sure to be inaccurate portrayal of ancient Mayan civilisation hadn't taken place, I thought, "I wonder what Mayan Chocolate tastes like."
According to Häagen-Dazs' fancy website for Mayan Chocolate ice cream, with its pyramids and gushing J. Peterman-esque advertising copy, the ice cream is inspired by the original Mayan chocolate recipe created over 2500 years ago.
Well, Mayan chocolate, at least, Häagen-Dazs' version of it, tastes like dark chocolate mix with cinnamon. I like dark chocolate but I'm not a big fan of cinnamon and I didn't think the combination of both would taste good. It doesn't.
As long as I'm complaing about a product, the following is a list of recent purchases that have, like life, disappointed me.
4" Binder
My new 4" navy blue binder is actually fantastic. Love the D-rings and the single-touch locking device that closes softly instead of with a loud SNAP. But the price! It's been a while since I've bought a binder, but I don't remember it ever costing anywhere near $15. Also, in my days, I trudged 50 miles uphill through thigh-deep snow everyday to go to school.
Banana Coconut Frappuccino
To quote Gwen Stefani, this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. The banana flavor is so overpowering that you can barely taste the coffee and coconut. I ain't no hollaback girl for this frappuccino.
Pepperidge Farm Triple Chocolate Seville
The picture on the little paper bag looks good, and the description sounds delicious, "An elegantly fan-shaped decadent chocolate cookie layered with rich smooth chocolate and sprinkled with chocolate crunchies". And it would've been a harmless and unremarkable chocolate cookie if it weren't for the "crunchies", which has the gritty texture of sand.
Sara Lee Soft & Smooth made with Whole Grain White Bread
From the Sara Lee website:
[The bread is] one of the new ways Sara Lee brings you the best of both worlds - whole grain goodness with all the mouthwatering pleasure of scrumptious, soft, white bread.
LIES! A LOAF OF LIES! This Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt of the sultry, earthy whole grain bread and the blandly smooth white bread has an unappetisingly chewy texture that not even Nutella can ameliorate.
According to Häagen-Dazs' fancy website for Mayan Chocolate ice cream, with its pyramids and gushing J. Peterman-esque advertising copy, the ice cream is inspired by the original Mayan chocolate recipe created over 2500 years ago.
Well, Mayan chocolate, at least, Häagen-Dazs' version of it, tastes like dark chocolate mix with cinnamon. I like dark chocolate but I'm not a big fan of cinnamon and I didn't think the combination of both would taste good. It doesn't.
As long as I'm complaing about a product, the following is a list of recent purchases that have, like life, disappointed me.
4" Binder
My new 4" navy blue binder is actually fantastic. Love the D-rings and the single-touch locking device that closes softly instead of with a loud SNAP. But the price! It's been a while since I've bought a binder, but I don't remember it ever costing anywhere near $15. Also, in my days, I trudged 50 miles uphill through thigh-deep snow everyday to go to school.
Banana Coconut Frappuccino
To quote Gwen Stefani, this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. The banana flavor is so overpowering that you can barely taste the coffee and coconut. I ain't no hollaback girl for this frappuccino.
Pepperidge Farm Triple Chocolate Seville
The picture on the little paper bag looks good, and the description sounds delicious, "An elegantly fan-shaped decadent chocolate cookie layered with rich smooth chocolate and sprinkled with chocolate crunchies". And it would've been a harmless and unremarkable chocolate cookie if it weren't for the "crunchies", which has the gritty texture of sand.
Sara Lee Soft & Smooth made with Whole Grain White Bread
From the Sara Lee website:
[The bread is] one of the new ways Sara Lee brings you the best of both worlds - whole grain goodness with all the mouthwatering pleasure of scrumptious, soft, white bread.
LIES! A LOAF OF LIES! This Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt of the sultry, earthy whole grain bread and the blandly smooth white bread has an unappetisingly chewy texture that not even Nutella can ameliorate.