coffee was a bad choice
Josh and Matthew are playing video games in the room. Amelia is napping quietly in her swing. I should do some stuff since she's quiet but I'm too lazy. Although all I have to do is fold my laundry and wash her bottles.
Dad is at the hospital visiting grandpa. He's up and down, good then bad, then okay. He just won't quit! Ha. It was pretty bad for a moment there. We all went to be with him but he held on. Despite us making him anxious, he held on. He keeps asking for Amelia. I cried when he asked. "Adonde esta 'shi shi?'" Every night when I get up to feed Amelia her 3am bottle, I've been somewhat surprised that he made it through another night. I'm at peace with him passing because he's been sick for a while; he's in pain and he's just holding on because he knows he can and it drives me insane because to know you're near the end but not ready?! I don't even know. I know that when he gets better, if this happens again? It'll be the last time.
Everyone is relying on prayers and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I understand the need for it but I just don't find comfort in it anymore because I know it's useless. But that's just me.
I know bringing Amelia to the hospital would help soothe everyone's nerves. Everyone told me that holding Amelia made them feel better.
Onto post partum! It's a lot better than I thought it would be. I'm not bleeding as much. I don't like panty liners because I don't feel protected but I really don't want to wear these big pads anymore if I don't need them. I'm a little itchy but I just go to the bathroom and spray some of the anagelsic on. Feels good. I am having a problem with my bowel movements though. It hurts so much to go and I bleed a little every time. I need to drink more water to help loosen and soften me up because I almost cry every time.
I have lost all the baby weight and then some. I weigh 160. The lightest I have been in a very long time. I look thin. It's weird. Amelia was the best diet ever lol! I'm fitting into things that I didn't even fit in before pregnancy. I might have to go shopping soon. LOL.
Comic Con is coming up. I was going to completely sit it out but I might go for two days, depending on the schedule. I can still book a hotel room but they don't release the schedule until, like, two-three weeks before. I could just drive up, it's not that far. It's just parking is effing expensive! Ugh.
I have to call Vicki about how much time I have left on my maternity leave/PTO. Ugh.
Dad is at the hospital visiting grandpa. He's up and down, good then bad, then okay. He just won't quit! Ha. It was pretty bad for a moment there. We all went to be with him but he held on. Despite us making him anxious, he held on. He keeps asking for Amelia. I cried when he asked. "Adonde esta 'shi shi?'" Every night when I get up to feed Amelia her 3am bottle, I've been somewhat surprised that he made it through another night. I'm at peace with him passing because he's been sick for a while; he's in pain and he's just holding on because he knows he can and it drives me insane because to know you're near the end but not ready?! I don't even know. I know that when he gets better, if this happens again? It'll be the last time.
Everyone is relying on prayers and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I understand the need for it but I just don't find comfort in it anymore because I know it's useless. But that's just me.
I know bringing Amelia to the hospital would help soothe everyone's nerves. Everyone told me that holding Amelia made them feel better.
Onto post partum! It's a lot better than I thought it would be. I'm not bleeding as much. I don't like panty liners because I don't feel protected but I really don't want to wear these big pads anymore if I don't need them. I'm a little itchy but I just go to the bathroom and spray some of the anagelsic on. Feels good. I am having a problem with my bowel movements though. It hurts so much to go and I bleed a little every time. I need to drink more water to help loosen and soften me up because I almost cry every time.
I have lost all the baby weight and then some. I weigh 160. The lightest I have been in a very long time. I look thin. It's weird. Amelia was the best diet ever lol! I'm fitting into things that I didn't even fit in before pregnancy. I might have to go shopping soon. LOL.
Comic Con is coming up. I was going to completely sit it out but I might go for two days, depending on the schedule. I can still book a hotel room but they don't release the schedule until, like, two-three weeks before. I could just drive up, it's not that far. It's just parking is effing expensive! Ugh.
I have to call Vicki about how much time I have left on my maternity leave/PTO. Ugh.