(no subject)
Right. This is possibly one of the nastiest things I’ve had to do on the net. A lot of you no doubt already know a great deal of this, but instead of half-hints and “what ifs”, here is the whole story. I’m writing this also on behalf of allihavewithout whom we wouldn’t have half of the information that follows.
One last thing - the intent of this post isn’t to judge or condemn. It is a simple presentation of the facts as we understand them, and it is up to each person to believe or not as they wish.
I realise also that the question might be asked as to why we are bringing this up *now* after all this time. Our reasoning is this: a) the “untruths” contained here are still going on. b) those of us involved feel the need for closure.
And now on with the story…
My Story:
Back in 2000, a group of “fans” (myself included) used to meet up regularly in a chat room on the official Les Miserables site. One of these was a girl who used the SN “UNR” (she went to University in Reno, Nevada) - she also went by “Boom” and we eventually learnt her “real” name as Jessi.
(Her brother “Rob” also used to pop in from time to time - apparently (and this was before I started hanging out there) a lot of “Have you seen my sister? I really need to talk with her!” etc etc used to go on, usually right after “UNR” had signed out. Strange in itself, because, um, who would need to use a chatroom to contact their Real Life sister?)
An MSN group was started by UNR/Boom, called Mad Mizfits, which, unfortunately, has been closed down (none of us were visiting it anymore, which now in hindsight is a real pain, because a lot of possible evidence went with it.) While we were using that group, someone using the name “Kaitee” appeared - a supposed friend of Boom’s. Gradually, through various MSN chats between Kaitee and members of the group, it came to light that Boom had a brain tumour, one that had lain dormant all her life, but could rear up at any time. It turned out that the tumour had done just that, and Boom was in and out of hospital a lot. (We were also told after a time that Kaitee was Boom’s girlfriend.) Finally, after several months of this, (with us still talking to both Kaitee and Boom), Boom died. We were all devastated. (Her "death" was 17th July, 2001)
After the event, I kept in touch with Kaitee. ( abugslife )
One day, (around 2003ish) she told me that someone was “pretending” to be Boom, and had gone so far as writing a “fake” journal for her. Kaitee was upset, I was outraged, and I started to look into it. The username was, carniebrat
(which raised alarm bells from the start - “Jessi” had grown up in a carnival family.) Kaitee suspected it could have been Boom’s twin sister, Holly (the two sisters were on bad terms, so the story went, as were Boom and her parents, due to Boom’s sexuality.)
The carniebrat journal runs from December 2001 until September 2002. The last un-flocked entry however is for Friday August 30th 2002, which says:
I AM SO TIRED OF THIS FUCKING DRAMA.
I am leaving this a public entry.
I refuse to buy into this shit.
My friend's list is being deleted.
Why do you feel the need for this shit?
There was a contact email linked to a website the owner held, and I wrote to her. (email address: iseek@myself.com)
These are the emails we exchanged:
23rd May 2002: (Me)
Hi :-)
I hope you don't mind me emailing you, but I recently found your website and wanted to contact you. I just think it is so great that you can be so honest and open about yourself like that, and I wanted to let you know. I wish *I* could do that, I really do! It must take a lot of courage to be able to do so, especially linking your journal to it as well. If you'd like to I'd like to keep in touch - I really cannot express what I felt when reading what you had written.
That’s enough rambling for now, hope to hear from you soon,
Anna :-)
23rd May 2002: (Carniebrat)
hi anna,
it's good to meet you. thanks for your comments. feel free to keep in touch, and i'll write more about me, next time.
J
My email in reply:
Hey :-)
How are you? Thanks for replying! I really should be doing some work, but it's a gorgeous day out and I'm just really not in the mood. Always the way isn't it? *g* might take a book outside later, see how it goes!
I guess I should tell you a little about myself, just so you don't worry that you're writing to a mad person! I'm 20, studying for a history degree, live in England and love anything to do with the theatre and music. I saw we had lots of shared interests, which is another reason I wanted to email you. I also couldn't help noticing that you like V.C Andrews books - I love those books!! Which ones have you read and which are your favourites? I read them when I was younger, but I keep thinking I'd like to re-read them if I ever get a spare moment or ten lol.
Can't put the work off anymore, so I'd better go! Hope to hear from you soon!
Anna xx
Reply back: (Also on 23rd May 2002)
hi anna,
i am fine, thanks for asking. i'm amazed that you can get any work done while you are outside! i go outside with the best of intentions - and then, i just sit and and enjoy the weather - and get nothing done!
it's great to meet a fellow theatre lover, and a fellow VC Andrews fan. I read only 4 or five of them - the ones surrounding the flowers in the attic series. i think i read the first four books, and then went back and read the prequel to the series. i read them last summer. my favorite was the very first one though. I think it was written the best.
i'm 19. and i live in Nevada, but next year, i get to go school in california. i'm really excited.
well, i suppose i should be getting dressed. my mom and i are going to volunteer at the special olympics next week, and we have an orientation meeting tonight.
J
My reply:
24th May, 2002:
Hey :-)
Well, as you can probably guess, the plan to work outside didn't go too well! I got some done though which is better than nothing! I'm not very prepared for the exam at all, but I can only do my best, so there is no point worrying too much about it now at this late hour! At least by tomorrow it will all be over and I can relax a little until the next one!
The Flowers in the Attic series were my favourite when I read them as well :-) Like you I read the prequel after reading the others, but I didn't find that it spoiled it in anyway. They really sent shivers down my spine, I loved her style of writing and just everything about them really. The Heaven series was also good, although nothing compared to the first ones!
What are you going to be studying at school in California next year? Something to do with theatre? I love theatre, but it tends to end up being more of a hobby with me, although I would love to go to drama school eventually and take it seriously. I'm not quite sure what I plan to do after Uni yet, but I have two years to decide, so a little time yet! I think I would like to stick and do something with History, I really do love it and I think it is always best to do something because you like it rather than just for the money. Not always possible I know, but a good rule to follow if you can!! Creative Writing is also something else that I do a lot of, although I haven't really had much time for it lately what with revision etc. At least with the summer coming up I'll have a chance to get lots done!
Hope your orientation meeting went well! What sort of things are you volunteering to do?
Do you mind me asking what your name is? I'm just adding your email address to my address book and I need something to put you under *g*
I should get to bed now, but take care and talk soon!
Anna xx
The last reply I received:
my friends call me jray - J Ray - or JR . i'm on my way out the door. so i'll write more later.
I replied to this, but didn’t hear anything further. The similarities between this “Jray” and the “Jessi” we had known were - striking. I knew from Kaitee that she and Jessi had read the VC Andrews books together, and as our common ground was musicals, the love of theatre was a given. To say I was confused would be putting it lightly…
Despite this, I gave up digging (partly because of not wanting to hurt Kaitee by stirring up memories), but occasionally over the following years I’d have a nose around to see if I could find anything out. The suspicions that something *really* odd was going on started back in 2004, when someone posted a comment in Kaitee’s LJ in response to a post she made about travel plans. A reply was made, apparently from “Kaitee” in answer to the question, but posted from another journal - username
nvcarnie Note the carnie connection? Also, the birth date, location, interests and writing style matched "Jessi" completely. I wrote to Kaitee, asking about this, and she denied any knowledge of that journal or the comment - the comment was deleted shortly afterwards.
My email: (29th May, 2004)
Hey there Rmfy, [nickname we had between us]
I'm kinda hoping you can explain something to me? Cos I confess my poor head is hurting through trying to work this out.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/nvcarnie/
I blinked enough when I found it, but when lj *finally* let me read your journal again today and I read a comment from that username which looks like it is *you* replying to a comment above - I'm sure it all makes sense somehow, but if you could just tell me *how*!!!
Hope you're doing ok - I *finally* got all my work handed in and get the final results in two weeks time. Keep your fingers crossed for me!! Sorry to bother you with this, I wouldn't have if not for the comment from them in your lj.
Love,
Anna xx
Response from Kaitee: (6th June, 2004)
to tell you the truth, i have no idea. the girl in the picture on the user-info page of that journal looks a little bit like jessi. okay. a lot like jessi. i am wondering if it's her twin sister, holly's journal ... it wouldn't be the first time i've found something that looks a lot like jessi on lj and had no idea what was going on. as for the comment, i have no idea. i don't see one on my journal anywhere from that journal.....wish i could help you more.
love ya,
rmfy
But - and here’s the thing. Nvcarnie is called Jessi. From Reno, Nevada. Went to UNR. And guess what? Looks exactly like the Boom/UNR/Jessi we “knew.” (Pictures posted in the MySpace account for that name confirm this.) And has clearly been alive and well for a good many years and still posting regularly, both on LJ and Myspace. Also, “nvcarnie” has friends “Rob” and “Holly”, though they aren’t related (might be coincidence, but am thinking not.) And, here’s the one that really did it for me - after a bit of digging, I managed to find that “Kaitee” has a second LJ, (username “Kaitee”, only three posts) and guess who is on the friends list? Nvcarnie. (The person Kaitee said she didn’t know.)
In December 2006, I finally decided I wanted to get to the bottom of this for good. I had tried in the past, but given up due to, what I thought, lack of avenues to pursue. This time though, I was determined, and contacted a friend from the old MSN group. She in turn contacted nvcarnie over at MySpace. Here are the emails they exchanged:
From: Hannah G
Date: Dec 14 2006 4:36 PM
hey sorry i don’t know if you’ll remember me, or if your the right person! you look a lot like a girl i knew called Boom, just thought id say hi!
From: More than one dimenson! (nvcarnie)
Date: Dec 17 2006 3:53 PM
Boom..... that's a name I haven't heard for a while. I used it for about 4 months in 2000 - and a so-called "friend" stole my online identity when I went home that Christmas (I didn't have internet at home, only at uni). I'm sorry - but I don't know you..... maybe we met, but likely the person you knew was not me - rather someone pretending to be me....
[“friend” - which implies that she knows/knew them, right?]
From: Hannah G
Date: Dec 17 2006 3:59 PM
right i see- sorry didnt mean to bug you! you mind me asking the friends name? or internet nickname? id be grateful as there has been a mix up and i would like to follow it through, thanks for your help xx
From: More than one dimenson! (Carnie)
Date: Dec 17 2006 7:04 PM
at the time her internet nic was ..... gosh, sporkish or something dumb like that. don't really know as it's been years since i've seen or heard from her. her name was jessica, too (there are lots of us that were born in the 80s). Sorry to hear that my one-time, very first internet identity has caused some sort of confusion....... let me know if I can be of any more help.
From: Hannah G
Date: Dec 20 2006 1:05 PM
sorry to bother you again but any thing else you know about this girl would be extremely useful
Basically i met "boom" in the official les mis chat under the sign in name UNR and we became good friends, a whole group of us did, and i dont mean like a few months, im talking a couple of years, we had a whole online community and were a close knit group with "Boom" at the kind of center of the group. It then was revealed that "Boom" had a brain tumour, and subsequently died. Now having known her for a long time, myself and the rest of the group were naturally devestated, and we were told by her brother "Rob" and sister "Holly" about funeral arangments and also a friend "Katiee" was involved
So you can imagine my surprise when a friend notifys me that you were on my space! Obviously I realise none of this is in any way your fault and an injustice has been done to both of us, and again i would be greatful for anyhelp you could give me, about this girl, this isnt a vendetta or anything as dramatic, i simply want to get to the bottom of what happened as understandably this group of people, myself included are quite hurt and bewildered by this, thanks again for any help you can give
Eponing Gx
Dec 25 2006 8:55 PM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: hey there
Okay ... I talked to my old roomie from uni. She remembers Jessica. Apparently she had a twin sister named Holly, who lived in another dorm - they weren't terribly close. Neither of us know anything about a Rob or a Kaitee.... The other Jessica, my roomie remembers, sort of looked like me (she mixed us up a few times at the beginning of the year, since we lived on the same floor). She disappeared at the end of the year and neither of us ever heard from her again, so I don't know anything else about it.
[This brings up several questions. If she was a friend, as stated above, then why the need to ask her roomie? Also, despite saying she knows nothing about someone called Kaitee, in a thanksgiving post for 2003, nvcarnie thanks “Kaitee, Jeannette and Kaylee” specifically in a list of people she is saying thank you for. Jeannette being “Kaitee’s” “wife”, and Kaylee being her sister according to “bugslife”. Also, one of Carnie’s best friends is a Rob. But she knows nothing about them?]
UNR was a screen name I used, again rather briefly, in 2000. I had the same password on all of my stuff (msn im, aim, the poto/les-mis chat room, livejournal, e-mail account, etc). After I realized what had happpened, I gave up on the internet for 9 months or so.... So the "boom"/"unr" you chatted with after 2000 was probably the other Jessica.
Sorry I can't be of any more help....
Jessi
Hannah wrote back, but received no response. In the meantime, I myself contacted nvcarnie through LJ.
Our exchanges:
Me: Dec. 14th, 2006 11:27 pm (UTC)
Stumbled across your journal (love the lay out by the by) hope you don't mind me friending you :) You also *totally* look like someone I used to know!!!
Carnie: Dec. 15th, 2006 12:17 am (UTC)
Your screen name seems familiar..... hmmmmmmmmm. Welcome to my LJ.
Me: Dec. 15th, 2006 12:29 am (UTC)
I joined FATH a while back (over a year ago), but never got up the courage to post, so unjoined. So might be from there that you recognise the name! (Unless there is another one of me out there - scary thought!)
And just read your latest post and can totally relate to the House watching marathon - I got through season 2 in the space of three days... *snickers*
Carnie: Dec. 15th, 2006 01:08 am (UTC)
My friend Christine can watch House like that .... I get restless and have to go and do other things..... :P Have season one to finish before I can start season two.
So far, so good. Then I wrote to Carnie saying there was something I thought she should be aware of, stating that I was friends with Hannah (who had contacted her already on LJ) and that I thought she needed to be aware that this “identity theft” was still going on. A few days later, *this* was posted as a friends-only entry in Carnie’s LJ:
16/01/07:
The Mantra.
I will NOT be pulled into this nonesense again. Years ago, it ruined my self-esteem, a friendship, and my interest in the internet.
I am sorry that people got hurt when a so-called friend stole my online identity. I'm sorry I did nothing to stop it, although I truly thought the whole drama had ended years ago.
Yet I know one thing: The girl who did this is dead to me. I suggest anyone else caught up in this mess believe the same.
*SIGH*
Sometimes, I HATE the internet.
Location: CCSN, Henderson, Nevada
[Now, it was friends-locked, so clearly not a message to the general public. I wouldn’t be surprised to find if I was the only one who could read it, though I have not been able to verify that one way or another.]
My reply: (17/1/07)
I respect your right to not wish to be involved in any of this, and after this comment will not mention it to you again if that is what you would prefer.
But I think you misunderstand what I have been trying to say. I wrote last to you out of concern that you might not know what is still going on. I see that you do, and therefore apologise for bringing up the matter.
I believe that the "friend" I knew online all those years ago is dead. She never existed. I know that. But what I also know is that as little as 6 months ago this person was still misleading and lying - to people who I know and care for - *that* is why I have pursued this, not out of some quest for vengeance.
I am sorry a friend did that to you. Truly. I think you are right and a lot stronger than I would be in the same situation to set it behind you. I admire you for that, I really do.
I am also sorry if I have hurt you in any way, bringing up these memories. It was never my intention to cause pain or distress. I feel anger, and hurt, but they are not directed at you. Please understand that.
I believe though, that things happen for a reason. I don't think that our interactions or relationships with *anyone* - even online - happen by chance. Can we put the mess that put us in contact behind us? I would like to get to know you - *you* - not someone pretending to share your life - what can I say? I've been intrigued.
I would say sorry again, but I know it won't do much good. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best.
Anna
Carnie’s response:
Jan. 21st, 2007 04:44 pm (UTC)
Honestly, the whole thing seems weird to me. To have come up again after all this time. You are still welcome to read my journal.... I just hope you don't confuse ME with the fake me you knew.
[So we have, from Carnie’s mouth, the fact that everything we had been told in the past by “Kaitee” was fake.]
I then wrote back: (Pretending to buy the story)
Jan. 21st, 2007 09:26 pm (UTC)
It came up because there are still people out there being told the "story" - i.e. that the person we "knew" died and all the rest of it, and someone got in touch with me about the fact it might all be made up. It *is* a long time ago, which is why *I* was rather shocked, but unfortunately someone is still out there perpetuating the ruse... *sighs*
I've decided to follow your example and just ignore it all - really more hassle than it's worth. And no worries on the confusion front - in my head, *she* was Boom and you're Jessi - nice and simple!
Just read your post about W&G - I've been thinking of buying it for a while now (or will do when I know I have a job to go to), I take it you'd recommend it as a worthwhile purchase?
*goes back to job applications with a sigh*
[This comment was never unscreened. ]
At the same time as this, I also posted two comments to Kaitee’s LJ, asking her to get in contact with me over something important relating to Jessi. I had also posted a post in my own journal regarding annoyance over fake-death without any specifics. I needed to rant. I received no reply from Kaitee, *but* did get an email from allihavewho has provided a lot of the pieces that were missing from the puzzle - allihave.
Here is the convo we had on AIM that night:(Italics = allihave)
: hi
Me: hi
: do you have a few minutes to talk?
Me: yeah - ive been waiting on tenterhooks for you to come back!
: and are you okay doing so on IM?
Me: *nods* yep that's fine
: my stomache has been in knots since i read your journal
: im not even sure where to start...
i have so many questions
why dont you tell me how you found out kaitee is not real....did she respond to your post on her journal?
Me: ive not heard from her since I sent those comments - which was what I kind of suspected.
Me: you mentionedd a project you did on Jessi? is it still online?
: no...it disappeard the year after we did it. how about we just share stories? i can tell you my history with kaitee/jessi, you can tell me yours, and how you came to your conclusions....
Me: sounds good to me. sorry if i sounded suspicous there - but there is so much going on that im doubting *everyone* right now!
: no, i completely understand...i wasnt even sure if you would write me back
so, about 7 years ago, a friend of mine, somehow found kaitee's journal she and kaitee began talking, mostly about spirituality, because my friend is very spiritual, and kaitee was very skeptical of that.
kaitee shared her story about jessi with my friend, and she intro her to me and then to our friend [X] the three of us began to talk a lot [X] was also struggling with her sexuality. we were both juniors in college, and so we decided to create a website we titled it the rainbow project we put our stories on there, along with jessi's, along with lots of resources for people encountering a confusion between sexuality and religion. i presented the project to my class and told jessi's story.
the next year (2003), [X] began communicating with someone on her journal who sounded a lot like jessi the person sent her a picture....that looked exactly like the picture kaitee had sent us of jessi we confronted kaitee and we all came to the conclusion that someone was impersonating jessi...possibly her twin sister holly. we went on as normal with our friendship with kaitee....and [X] stopped communicating with this person online.
then about 2 years ago...my friend was reading another of kaitee's journal's....one titled "kaitee" she listed as a friend "nvcarnie" so, we read nvcarnie's journal...and found out that jessi was very much alive ive continued to read jessi's journal....have read the entire thing and have remained in confusion she posted on thanksgivign a few years ago.....said she was thankful for kaitee, kailee, and jeannette, then last year, she went to spain... so, i read her spain journal she mentioned meeting up with a friend in spain the next day, kaitee wrote on her journal about meeting the same friend sometime later.
kaitee posted on abugs life with a comment....from nvcarnie....so it was obvious she was aware of this journal of jessi's more recently, jessi posted about a flower ceremony at her church kaitee posted the same entry the next day i havent communicated with kaitee since i found jessi's journal but have continued to read both her journal and jessi's journal quite often, looking for clues i have so many questions though is kaitee a real person....just creating a fake life? are jessi and kaitee the same person? is it possible there is a multiple personality disorder going on?
Me: oh CHRIST someone *else* saw that comment from nvcarnie's journal in bugslife. I've been going mad over it ever since i saw it. I emailed Kaitee about it to ask what was going on, and she denied any knowledge of the journal or the comment - it was deleted shortly after.
: if they are different peope, do they know each other....and does jessi know that kaitee has been writing about her jessi is very obviously real she has people comment on her journal who have met her. kaitee has never had someone comment who has met her
so, thats my story, and the confusion ive been living with for about 2 years now.
Another person who saw that LJ comment posted from nvcarnie. Up to that point, I had started to think I might have imagined it. (And for the record, I made sure that she told me *her* story before I shared any details from my side.)
I have had no reply from Kaitee to the two comments I posted. Also, although I am still on her friends list (as is allihave), we have both been filtered out of a post made on the 19th January (the last post I can read is from December, and that is the one with my two comments on it.) I have since been told what is in that post, and it is nothing incriminating or private. Which leads me to suspect that the reason for our being filtered out is so that we will not know she has been online and wonder why my comments have not been replied to.
I have also since been defriended by nvcarnie on lj so no longer have access to her posts. She had however already started to filter me out before that point.
Now for some hard evidence.
Early 2002, Kaitee was supposedly in Paris. It was there that she met Jeannette, to whom she is now married. There is just *one* tiny problem with this story. Emails and LJ comments from this period (to different people) show an IP address that resolves back to the University of Reno, Nevada. Yep, you got it, good ol’ UNR. Evidence for *this* one:
Extract from Kaitee’s LJ, 16th January, 2002:
I'm with Mimmy, in Paris. This is the busy time of year for her at work, so she has got a lot on her plate. I get up with her in the mornings though, and we have gotten back in the habit of our morning coffee and bagel. It is the same morning ritual that we followed when I lived here before. But it’s nice because this way I get to see her everyday for at least a little while.
So anyway, after breakfast yesterday morning, I went out and was taking pictures. Well, I was trying to anyway. I was getting frustrated with the building that I was looking at, so I stepped back for a breather and literally ran right into someone. I turned around, tried to apologize in English, and then, realizing that I was in Paris, tried desperately to remember how to do so in French. She laughed at me, telling me that it was okay, because she spoke English. To apologize, I asked her if I could take her out to coffee a bit later. We met an hour later, and spent the next twelve hours together.
Email sent on 26th Jan, 2002 to "allihave" has the originating IP address of: 134.197.106.232. Which resolves back to Reno, Nevada. (Likewise, an LJ comment posted in my LJ for that date.)
Two more emails sent on 29th and 30th January came from: 134.197.106.101 (Again, Reno.)
2nd Feb we have this in Kaitee’s journal, still apparently in Paris:
i could have a date for valentine's day, if i wanted. with jeannette.
there is a concert on the 14th. she wants to take me to dinner. and to the concert.
Now, correct me if I am wrong, but what are the chances that Kaitee made a flying visit back to Reno (a place that holds bad memories for her) in between the dates of these posts? To my mind, not very high. Which leaves the option that Kaitee never went to Paris. Ergo, she never met Jeannette. Which makes the continuation of her journal from this point onwards rather unbelievable. It also makes a connection between Kaitee and nvcarnie/Jessi.
There’s another even bigger connection though - and forgive me, but I can’t help laughing. An email written by Kaitee on 30th Jan 2002 in response to a discussion with "allihave" about friends adding on LJ:
nope - i just have to add you so you can see my friends only entries. =)
jessica
Jessica. Right. Someone wasn’t thinking what she was typing, was she? That, combined with the accidental comment posted from nvcarnie’s journal in 2004, *and* the Reno IP addresses, makes a pretty strong claim for it being the same person doing the posting.
More recent IPs for Kaitee (Taken from "abugslife" 2005) show:
11th Dec 2005: 207.200.116.13 - Rancho Cucamonga, California.
14th Dec 2005: 207.200.116.13
17th Dec 2005 207.200.116.13
However: 6th November 2005:
we went for a drive yesterday. being back in new york reminds me of fall, and why this is my favorite season ever. it has been so nice. then when we got home and jeannette joined me on my walk, and we enjoyed ourselves, pacing out the day, and it was fun to eat out and just do something a little different.
Kaitee’s LJ, 22nd Dec 2005:
( am i the only new york democrat that doesn't want hillary to run for president in 2008? )
I don’t know, but she certainly wasn’t in New York, unless she flew to California for a short break in between the dates of the above posts, a trip that has no mention is made of in her journal - see IP addresses above.
And then:
Comment posted by Kaitee in my lj: 6th April 2005: IP 193.147.65.97: Mostoles, Madrid, Spain.
At this point, Kaitee was supposedly in Dublin with Jeannette. There is, however, another journal connected with nvcarnie, jessi_in_spain(nvcarnie’s travel journal for 2005) and from that we have:
1st April, 2005:
I am off to a museum here in Madrid, the third most important and the last one that I need to see of the three major ones, and the only one that isn´t free on a certain day of the week, but they might have a student discount. Either way, the entrance is less than 5 Euro.
Coincidence?
And then 6th April, 2005:
But, it looks like a change in plans is in order for the weekend. It is going to be pouring rain in Alícante all weekend, so we are probably just gonna chill it in Madrid because the whole point of visiting Alícante was to visit the beach.
Still in Madrid. Same day that Kaitee posted a comment in my LJ with an IP resolving to that city.
Let’s take a look at what Kaitee’s LJ says she was up to when her IP says she was in Spain….
April 3rd, 2005:
this birthday was fun. i can´t believe i turned 23, (i am still 18, right??) but nonetheless, the day was fabulous. i slept in way past my normal 5am wakeup call and we had a nice breakfast with john, lindy and the kids. it was fun. and then, afterwards, jean and i drove into dublin, spent a few hours at the rainbow place with the kids there, and then she took me out to a nice meal at our favorite vegetarian place in the city. afterwards we saw a movie and it was just nice.
Ireland apparently!
And 7th April - no indication of a sudden trip to Spain. Sounds like they’re still in Ireland, yes? Not according to your IP of the day before, love.
as we prepare to move, i know we will both face more problems of leaving behind the only true home we have ever shared together, the laughter of the kids, and the way we have become used to a family unit. there have been many other places, and there will be many more, but this home has a life of its own for us, and i know that we will be back, but for now we will do what is best for our families and for ourselves.
The thing we are trying to work out is where the lie happened. Who was in on what, who actually exists. I’ve been in contact with a couple of “people” who I am pretty sure are all the same Jessi, and that it is this one person behind the entire web of fabrications. I have tried to obtain a recent IP for “bugslife” but been unsuccessful, which is unfortunate, as this would be proof beyond doubt. However, my thoughts, for what they are worth, are as follows:
The Boom/Jessi that we knew and that “Kaitee” has posted memorial posts over as recently as 2006, did not die. Also that “Kaitee” herself, whoever is behind her, has been posting untruths since 2002. Whether or not it is nvcarnie orchestrating this entire farce, the jury is still out, but I am convinced enough of the evidence despite her vehement protests to the contrary.
This has not been easy to write or to accept. I was the one who had to tell Boom’s online friends from Mizfits that she had died. My earliest LJ posts are full of her, and her death, and yes, she was mourned. I feel cheated and hurt and also very stupid for being taken for a ride like this.
Final bits and pieces:
The quote from nvcarnie’s thanksgiving post:
Thanksgiving post (Nov 29th) - 2003: http://nvcarnie.livejournal.com/2003/11/29/
For Kaitee, Jeannette, and Kailee. You've given me strength and will. I love you all.
Also this:
July 17th 2003:
Today, July 17, 2003, I am grateful for:
1. Life ... when another Jessi lost hers two years ago today.
2. Old friends from the internet
3. Lunch today with someone who has more pictures of me than my mother does
4. IMs
5. Country Music.
And:
In memory of a person I never met. In memory of the person who left her life in pieces. For a love that will never come again. Today, I remember.
These last two are confusing for a number of reasons. Sounds like proof for Kaitee’s “Jessi” and nvcarnie being separate entities. But with same birth dates, looks, hometowns and backgrounds? Also, as already shown by the emails, carnie claims not to have been overly close with “the other Jessi” or even to know what had happened to her. And the last entry? Sounds rather like “Kaitee” writing imo.
A less concrete piece of proof but still interesting connection - check out “bugslife” and “nvcarnie” user pics on LJ. There are two in common. Not a huge thing I know, but added with everything else I think it bears mentioning.
So, there it is. Think what you will. And know from the start flames will be ignored. This is opinion, backed up with evidence. I don't pretend to dictate what people believe. And if anyone has something that will refute the entire thing, then we are more than willing to listen.
One last thing - the intent of this post isn’t to judge or condemn. It is a simple presentation of the facts as we understand them, and it is up to each person to believe or not as they wish.
I realise also that the question might be asked as to why we are bringing this up *now* after all this time. Our reasoning is this: a) the “untruths” contained here are still going on. b) those of us involved feel the need for closure.
And now on with the story…
My Story:
Back in 2000, a group of “fans” (myself included) used to meet up regularly in a chat room on the official Les Miserables site. One of these was a girl who used the SN “UNR” (she went to University in Reno, Nevada) - she also went by “Boom” and we eventually learnt her “real” name as Jessi.
(Her brother “Rob” also used to pop in from time to time - apparently (and this was before I started hanging out there) a lot of “Have you seen my sister? I really need to talk with her!” etc etc used to go on, usually right after “UNR” had signed out. Strange in itself, because, um, who would need to use a chatroom to contact their Real Life sister?)
An MSN group was started by UNR/Boom, called Mad Mizfits, which, unfortunately, has been closed down (none of us were visiting it anymore, which now in hindsight is a real pain, because a lot of possible evidence went with it.) While we were using that group, someone using the name “Kaitee” appeared - a supposed friend of Boom’s. Gradually, through various MSN chats between Kaitee and members of the group, it came to light that Boom had a brain tumour, one that had lain dormant all her life, but could rear up at any time. It turned out that the tumour had done just that, and Boom was in and out of hospital a lot. (We were also told after a time that Kaitee was Boom’s girlfriend.) Finally, after several months of this, (with us still talking to both Kaitee and Boom), Boom died. We were all devastated. (Her "death" was 17th July, 2001)
After the event, I kept in touch with Kaitee. ( abugslife )
One day, (around 2003ish) she told me that someone was “pretending” to be Boom, and had gone so far as writing a “fake” journal for her. Kaitee was upset, I was outraged, and I started to look into it. The username was, carniebrat
(which raised alarm bells from the start - “Jessi” had grown up in a carnival family.) Kaitee suspected it could have been Boom’s twin sister, Holly (the two sisters were on bad terms, so the story went, as were Boom and her parents, due to Boom’s sexuality.)
The carniebrat journal runs from December 2001 until September 2002. The last un-flocked entry however is for Friday August 30th 2002, which says:
I AM SO TIRED OF THIS FUCKING DRAMA.
I am leaving this a public entry.
I refuse to buy into this shit.
My friend's list is being deleted.
Why do you feel the need for this shit?
There was a contact email linked to a website the owner held, and I wrote to her. (email address: iseek@myself.com)
These are the emails we exchanged:
23rd May 2002: (Me)
Hi :-)
I hope you don't mind me emailing you, but I recently found your website and wanted to contact you. I just think it is so great that you can be so honest and open about yourself like that, and I wanted to let you know. I wish *I* could do that, I really do! It must take a lot of courage to be able to do so, especially linking your journal to it as well. If you'd like to I'd like to keep in touch - I really cannot express what I felt when reading what you had written.
That’s enough rambling for now, hope to hear from you soon,
Anna :-)
23rd May 2002: (Carniebrat)
hi anna,
it's good to meet you. thanks for your comments. feel free to keep in touch, and i'll write more about me, next time.
J
My email in reply:
Hey :-)
How are you? Thanks for replying! I really should be doing some work, but it's a gorgeous day out and I'm just really not in the mood. Always the way isn't it? *g* might take a book outside later, see how it goes!
I guess I should tell you a little about myself, just so you don't worry that you're writing to a mad person! I'm 20, studying for a history degree, live in England and love anything to do with the theatre and music. I saw we had lots of shared interests, which is another reason I wanted to email you. I also couldn't help noticing that you like V.C Andrews books - I love those books!! Which ones have you read and which are your favourites? I read them when I was younger, but I keep thinking I'd like to re-read them if I ever get a spare moment or ten lol.
Can't put the work off anymore, so I'd better go! Hope to hear from you soon!
Anna xx
Reply back: (Also on 23rd May 2002)
hi anna,
i am fine, thanks for asking. i'm amazed that you can get any work done while you are outside! i go outside with the best of intentions - and then, i just sit and and enjoy the weather - and get nothing done!
it's great to meet a fellow theatre lover, and a fellow VC Andrews fan. I read only 4 or five of them - the ones surrounding the flowers in the attic series. i think i read the first four books, and then went back and read the prequel to the series. i read them last summer. my favorite was the very first one though. I think it was written the best.
i'm 19. and i live in Nevada, but next year, i get to go school in california. i'm really excited.
well, i suppose i should be getting dressed. my mom and i are going to volunteer at the special olympics next week, and we have an orientation meeting tonight.
J
My reply:
24th May, 2002:
Hey :-)
Well, as you can probably guess, the plan to work outside didn't go too well! I got some done though which is better than nothing! I'm not very prepared for the exam at all, but I can only do my best, so there is no point worrying too much about it now at this late hour! At least by tomorrow it will all be over and I can relax a little until the next one!
The Flowers in the Attic series were my favourite when I read them as well :-) Like you I read the prequel after reading the others, but I didn't find that it spoiled it in anyway. They really sent shivers down my spine, I loved her style of writing and just everything about them really. The Heaven series was also good, although nothing compared to the first ones!
What are you going to be studying at school in California next year? Something to do with theatre? I love theatre, but it tends to end up being more of a hobby with me, although I would love to go to drama school eventually and take it seriously. I'm not quite sure what I plan to do after Uni yet, but I have two years to decide, so a little time yet! I think I would like to stick and do something with History, I really do love it and I think it is always best to do something because you like it rather than just for the money. Not always possible I know, but a good rule to follow if you can!! Creative Writing is also something else that I do a lot of, although I haven't really had much time for it lately what with revision etc. At least with the summer coming up I'll have a chance to get lots done!
Hope your orientation meeting went well! What sort of things are you volunteering to do?
Do you mind me asking what your name is? I'm just adding your email address to my address book and I need something to put you under *g*
I should get to bed now, but take care and talk soon!
Anna xx
The last reply I received:
my friends call me jray - J Ray - or JR . i'm on my way out the door. so i'll write more later.
I replied to this, but didn’t hear anything further. The similarities between this “Jray” and the “Jessi” we had known were - striking. I knew from Kaitee that she and Jessi had read the VC Andrews books together, and as our common ground was musicals, the love of theatre was a given. To say I was confused would be putting it lightly…
Despite this, I gave up digging (partly because of not wanting to hurt Kaitee by stirring up memories), but occasionally over the following years I’d have a nose around to see if I could find anything out. The suspicions that something *really* odd was going on started back in 2004, when someone posted a comment in Kaitee’s LJ in response to a post she made about travel plans. A reply was made, apparently from “Kaitee” in answer to the question, but posted from another journal - username
nvcarnie Note the carnie connection? Also, the birth date, location, interests and writing style matched "Jessi" completely. I wrote to Kaitee, asking about this, and she denied any knowledge of that journal or the comment - the comment was deleted shortly afterwards.
My email: (29th May, 2004)
Hey there Rmfy, [nickname we had between us]
I'm kinda hoping you can explain something to me? Cos I confess my poor head is hurting through trying to work this out.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/nvcarnie/
I blinked enough when I found it, but when lj *finally* let me read your journal again today and I read a comment from that username which looks like it is *you* replying to a comment above - I'm sure it all makes sense somehow, but if you could just tell me *how*!!!
Hope you're doing ok - I *finally* got all my work handed in and get the final results in two weeks time. Keep your fingers crossed for me!! Sorry to bother you with this, I wouldn't have if not for the comment from them in your lj.
Love,
Anna xx
Response from Kaitee: (6th June, 2004)
to tell you the truth, i have no idea. the girl in the picture on the user-info page of that journal looks a little bit like jessi. okay. a lot like jessi. i am wondering if it's her twin sister, holly's journal ... it wouldn't be the first time i've found something that looks a lot like jessi on lj and had no idea what was going on. as for the comment, i have no idea. i don't see one on my journal anywhere from that journal.....wish i could help you more.
love ya,
rmfy
But - and here’s the thing. Nvcarnie is called Jessi. From Reno, Nevada. Went to UNR. And guess what? Looks exactly like the Boom/UNR/Jessi we “knew.” (Pictures posted in the MySpace account for that name confirm this.) And has clearly been alive and well for a good many years and still posting regularly, both on LJ and Myspace. Also, “nvcarnie” has friends “Rob” and “Holly”, though they aren’t related (might be coincidence, but am thinking not.) And, here’s the one that really did it for me - after a bit of digging, I managed to find that “Kaitee” has a second LJ, (username “Kaitee”, only three posts) and guess who is on the friends list? Nvcarnie. (The person Kaitee said she didn’t know.)
In December 2006, I finally decided I wanted to get to the bottom of this for good. I had tried in the past, but given up due to, what I thought, lack of avenues to pursue. This time though, I was determined, and contacted a friend from the old MSN group. She in turn contacted nvcarnie over at MySpace. Here are the emails they exchanged:
From: Hannah G
Date: Dec 14 2006 4:36 PM
hey sorry i don’t know if you’ll remember me, or if your the right person! you look a lot like a girl i knew called Boom, just thought id say hi!
From: More than one dimenson! (nvcarnie)
Date: Dec 17 2006 3:53 PM
Boom..... that's a name I haven't heard for a while. I used it for about 4 months in 2000 - and a so-called "friend" stole my online identity when I went home that Christmas (I didn't have internet at home, only at uni). I'm sorry - but I don't know you..... maybe we met, but likely the person you knew was not me - rather someone pretending to be me....
[“friend” - which implies that she knows/knew them, right?]
From: Hannah G
Date: Dec 17 2006 3:59 PM
right i see- sorry didnt mean to bug you! you mind me asking the friends name? or internet nickname? id be grateful as there has been a mix up and i would like to follow it through, thanks for your help xx
From: More than one dimenson! (Carnie)
Date: Dec 17 2006 7:04 PM
at the time her internet nic was ..... gosh, sporkish or something dumb like that. don't really know as it's been years since i've seen or heard from her. her name was jessica, too (there are lots of us that were born in the 80s). Sorry to hear that my one-time, very first internet identity has caused some sort of confusion....... let me know if I can be of any more help.
From: Hannah G
Date: Dec 20 2006 1:05 PM
sorry to bother you again but any thing else you know about this girl would be extremely useful
Basically i met "boom" in the official les mis chat under the sign in name UNR and we became good friends, a whole group of us did, and i dont mean like a few months, im talking a couple of years, we had a whole online community and were a close knit group with "Boom" at the kind of center of the group. It then was revealed that "Boom" had a brain tumour, and subsequently died. Now having known her for a long time, myself and the rest of the group were naturally devestated, and we were told by her brother "Rob" and sister "Holly" about funeral arangments and also a friend "Katiee" was involved
So you can imagine my surprise when a friend notifys me that you were on my space! Obviously I realise none of this is in any way your fault and an injustice has been done to both of us, and again i would be greatful for anyhelp you could give me, about this girl, this isnt a vendetta or anything as dramatic, i simply want to get to the bottom of what happened as understandably this group of people, myself included are quite hurt and bewildered by this, thanks again for any help you can give
Eponing Gx
Dec 25 2006 8:55 PM
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: hey there
Okay ... I talked to my old roomie from uni. She remembers Jessica. Apparently she had a twin sister named Holly, who lived in another dorm - they weren't terribly close. Neither of us know anything about a Rob or a Kaitee.... The other Jessica, my roomie remembers, sort of looked like me (she mixed us up a few times at the beginning of the year, since we lived on the same floor). She disappeared at the end of the year and neither of us ever heard from her again, so I don't know anything else about it.
[This brings up several questions. If she was a friend, as stated above, then why the need to ask her roomie? Also, despite saying she knows nothing about someone called Kaitee, in a thanksgiving post for 2003, nvcarnie thanks “Kaitee, Jeannette and Kaylee” specifically in a list of people she is saying thank you for. Jeannette being “Kaitee’s” “wife”, and Kaylee being her sister according to “bugslife”. Also, one of Carnie’s best friends is a Rob. But she knows nothing about them?]
UNR was a screen name I used, again rather briefly, in 2000. I had the same password on all of my stuff (msn im, aim, the poto/les-mis chat room, livejournal, e-mail account, etc). After I realized what had happpened, I gave up on the internet for 9 months or so.... So the "boom"/"unr" you chatted with after 2000 was probably the other Jessica.
Sorry I can't be of any more help....
Jessi
Hannah wrote back, but received no response. In the meantime, I myself contacted nvcarnie through LJ.
Our exchanges:
Me: Dec. 14th, 2006 11:27 pm (UTC)
Stumbled across your journal (love the lay out by the by) hope you don't mind me friending you :) You also *totally* look like someone I used to know!!!
Carnie: Dec. 15th, 2006 12:17 am (UTC)
Your screen name seems familiar..... hmmmmmmmmm. Welcome to my LJ.
Me: Dec. 15th, 2006 12:29 am (UTC)
I joined FATH a while back (over a year ago), but never got up the courage to post, so unjoined. So might be from there that you recognise the name! (Unless there is another one of me out there - scary thought!)
And just read your latest post and can totally relate to the House watching marathon - I got through season 2 in the space of three days... *snickers*
Carnie: Dec. 15th, 2006 01:08 am (UTC)
My friend Christine can watch House like that .... I get restless and have to go and do other things..... :P Have season one to finish before I can start season two.
So far, so good. Then I wrote to Carnie saying there was something I thought she should be aware of, stating that I was friends with Hannah (who had contacted her already on LJ) and that I thought she needed to be aware that this “identity theft” was still going on. A few days later, *this* was posted as a friends-only entry in Carnie’s LJ:
16/01/07:
The Mantra.
I will NOT be pulled into this nonesense again. Years ago, it ruined my self-esteem, a friendship, and my interest in the internet.
I am sorry that people got hurt when a so-called friend stole my online identity. I'm sorry I did nothing to stop it, although I truly thought the whole drama had ended years ago.
Yet I know one thing: The girl who did this is dead to me. I suggest anyone else caught up in this mess believe the same.
*SIGH*
Sometimes, I HATE the internet.
Location: CCSN, Henderson, Nevada
[Now, it was friends-locked, so clearly not a message to the general public. I wouldn’t be surprised to find if I was the only one who could read it, though I have not been able to verify that one way or another.]
My reply: (17/1/07)
I respect your right to not wish to be involved in any of this, and after this comment will not mention it to you again if that is what you would prefer.
But I think you misunderstand what I have been trying to say. I wrote last to you out of concern that you might not know what is still going on. I see that you do, and therefore apologise for bringing up the matter.
I believe that the "friend" I knew online all those years ago is dead. She never existed. I know that. But what I also know is that as little as 6 months ago this person was still misleading and lying - to people who I know and care for - *that* is why I have pursued this, not out of some quest for vengeance.
I am sorry a friend did that to you. Truly. I think you are right and a lot stronger than I would be in the same situation to set it behind you. I admire you for that, I really do.
I am also sorry if I have hurt you in any way, bringing up these memories. It was never my intention to cause pain or distress. I feel anger, and hurt, but they are not directed at you. Please understand that.
I believe though, that things happen for a reason. I don't think that our interactions or relationships with *anyone* - even online - happen by chance. Can we put the mess that put us in contact behind us? I would like to get to know you - *you* - not someone pretending to share your life - what can I say? I've been intrigued.
I would say sorry again, but I know it won't do much good. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best.
Anna
Carnie’s response:
Jan. 21st, 2007 04:44 pm (UTC)
Honestly, the whole thing seems weird to me. To have come up again after all this time. You are still welcome to read my journal.... I just hope you don't confuse ME with the fake me you knew.
[So we have, from Carnie’s mouth, the fact that everything we had been told in the past by “Kaitee” was fake.]
I then wrote back: (Pretending to buy the story)
Jan. 21st, 2007 09:26 pm (UTC)
It came up because there are still people out there being told the "story" - i.e. that the person we "knew" died and all the rest of it, and someone got in touch with me about the fact it might all be made up. It *is* a long time ago, which is why *I* was rather shocked, but unfortunately someone is still out there perpetuating the ruse... *sighs*
I've decided to follow your example and just ignore it all - really more hassle than it's worth. And no worries on the confusion front - in my head, *she* was Boom and you're Jessi - nice and simple!
Just read your post about W&G - I've been thinking of buying it for a while now (or will do when I know I have a job to go to), I take it you'd recommend it as a worthwhile purchase?
*goes back to job applications with a sigh*
[This comment was never unscreened. ]
At the same time as this, I also posted two comments to Kaitee’s LJ, asking her to get in contact with me over something important relating to Jessi. I had also posted a post in my own journal regarding annoyance over fake-death without any specifics. I needed to rant. I received no reply from Kaitee, *but* did get an email from allihavewho has provided a lot of the pieces that were missing from the puzzle - allihave.
Here is the convo we had on AIM that night:(Italics = allihave)
: hi
Me: hi
: do you have a few minutes to talk?
Me: yeah - ive been waiting on tenterhooks for you to come back!
: and are you okay doing so on IM?
Me: *nods* yep that's fine
: my stomache has been in knots since i read your journal
: im not even sure where to start...
i have so many questions
why dont you tell me how you found out kaitee is not real....did she respond to your post on her journal?
Me: ive not heard from her since I sent those comments - which was what I kind of suspected.
Me: you mentionedd a project you did on Jessi? is it still online?
: no...it disappeard the year after we did it. how about we just share stories? i can tell you my history with kaitee/jessi, you can tell me yours, and how you came to your conclusions....
Me: sounds good to me. sorry if i sounded suspicous there - but there is so much going on that im doubting *everyone* right now!
: no, i completely understand...i wasnt even sure if you would write me back
so, about 7 years ago, a friend of mine, somehow found kaitee's journal she and kaitee began talking, mostly about spirituality, because my friend is very spiritual, and kaitee was very skeptical of that.
kaitee shared her story about jessi with my friend, and she intro her to me and then to our friend [X] the three of us began to talk a lot [X] was also struggling with her sexuality. we were both juniors in college, and so we decided to create a website we titled it the rainbow project we put our stories on there, along with jessi's, along with lots of resources for people encountering a confusion between sexuality and religion. i presented the project to my class and told jessi's story.
the next year (2003), [X] began communicating with someone on her journal who sounded a lot like jessi the person sent her a picture....that looked exactly like the picture kaitee had sent us of jessi we confronted kaitee and we all came to the conclusion that someone was impersonating jessi...possibly her twin sister holly. we went on as normal with our friendship with kaitee....and [X] stopped communicating with this person online.
then about 2 years ago...my friend was reading another of kaitee's journal's....one titled "kaitee" she listed as a friend "nvcarnie" so, we read nvcarnie's journal...and found out that jessi was very much alive ive continued to read jessi's journal....have read the entire thing and have remained in confusion she posted on thanksgivign a few years ago.....said she was thankful for kaitee, kailee, and jeannette, then last year, she went to spain... so, i read her spain journal she mentioned meeting up with a friend in spain the next day, kaitee wrote on her journal about meeting the same friend sometime later.
kaitee posted on abugs life with a comment....from nvcarnie....so it was obvious she was aware of this journal of jessi's more recently, jessi posted about a flower ceremony at her church kaitee posted the same entry the next day i havent communicated with kaitee since i found jessi's journal but have continued to read both her journal and jessi's journal quite often, looking for clues i have so many questions though is kaitee a real person....just creating a fake life? are jessi and kaitee the same person? is it possible there is a multiple personality disorder going on?
Me: oh CHRIST someone *else* saw that comment from nvcarnie's journal in bugslife. I've been going mad over it ever since i saw it. I emailed Kaitee about it to ask what was going on, and she denied any knowledge of the journal or the comment - it was deleted shortly after.
: if they are different peope, do they know each other....and does jessi know that kaitee has been writing about her jessi is very obviously real she has people comment on her journal who have met her. kaitee has never had someone comment who has met her
so, thats my story, and the confusion ive been living with for about 2 years now.
Another person who saw that LJ comment posted from nvcarnie. Up to that point, I had started to think I might have imagined it. (And for the record, I made sure that she told me *her* story before I shared any details from my side.)
I have had no reply from Kaitee to the two comments I posted. Also, although I am still on her friends list (as is allihave), we have both been filtered out of a post made on the 19th January (the last post I can read is from December, and that is the one with my two comments on it.) I have since been told what is in that post, and it is nothing incriminating or private. Which leads me to suspect that the reason for our being filtered out is so that we will not know she has been online and wonder why my comments have not been replied to.
I have also since been defriended by nvcarnie on lj so no longer have access to her posts. She had however already started to filter me out before that point.
Now for some hard evidence.
Early 2002, Kaitee was supposedly in Paris. It was there that she met Jeannette, to whom she is now married. There is just *one* tiny problem with this story. Emails and LJ comments from this period (to different people) show an IP address that resolves back to the University of Reno, Nevada. Yep, you got it, good ol’ UNR. Evidence for *this* one:
Extract from Kaitee’s LJ, 16th January, 2002:
I'm with Mimmy, in Paris. This is the busy time of year for her at work, so she has got a lot on her plate. I get up with her in the mornings though, and we have gotten back in the habit of our morning coffee and bagel. It is the same morning ritual that we followed when I lived here before. But it’s nice because this way I get to see her everyday for at least a little while.
So anyway, after breakfast yesterday morning, I went out and was taking pictures. Well, I was trying to anyway. I was getting frustrated with the building that I was looking at, so I stepped back for a breather and literally ran right into someone. I turned around, tried to apologize in English, and then, realizing that I was in Paris, tried desperately to remember how to do so in French. She laughed at me, telling me that it was okay, because she spoke English. To apologize, I asked her if I could take her out to coffee a bit later. We met an hour later, and spent the next twelve hours together.
Email sent on 26th Jan, 2002 to "allihave" has the originating IP address of: 134.197.106.232. Which resolves back to Reno, Nevada. (Likewise, an LJ comment posted in my LJ for that date.)
Two more emails sent on 29th and 30th January came from: 134.197.106.101 (Again, Reno.)
2nd Feb we have this in Kaitee’s journal, still apparently in Paris:
i could have a date for valentine's day, if i wanted. with jeannette.
there is a concert on the 14th. she wants to take me to dinner. and to the concert.
Now, correct me if I am wrong, but what are the chances that Kaitee made a flying visit back to Reno (a place that holds bad memories for her) in between the dates of these posts? To my mind, not very high. Which leaves the option that Kaitee never went to Paris. Ergo, she never met Jeannette. Which makes the continuation of her journal from this point onwards rather unbelievable. It also makes a connection between Kaitee and nvcarnie/Jessi.
There’s another even bigger connection though - and forgive me, but I can’t help laughing. An email written by Kaitee on 30th Jan 2002 in response to a discussion with "allihave" about friends adding on LJ:
nope - i just have to add you so you can see my friends only entries. =)
jessica
Jessica. Right. Someone wasn’t thinking what she was typing, was she? That, combined with the accidental comment posted from nvcarnie’s journal in 2004, *and* the Reno IP addresses, makes a pretty strong claim for it being the same person doing the posting.
More recent IPs for Kaitee (Taken from "abugslife" 2005) show:
11th Dec 2005: 207.200.116.13 - Rancho Cucamonga, California.
14th Dec 2005: 207.200.116.13
17th Dec 2005 207.200.116.13
However: 6th November 2005:
we went for a drive yesterday. being back in new york reminds me of fall, and why this is my favorite season ever. it has been so nice. then when we got home and jeannette joined me on my walk, and we enjoyed ourselves, pacing out the day, and it was fun to eat out and just do something a little different.
Kaitee’s LJ, 22nd Dec 2005:
( am i the only new york democrat that doesn't want hillary to run for president in 2008? )
I don’t know, but she certainly wasn’t in New York, unless she flew to California for a short break in between the dates of the above posts, a trip that has no mention is made of in her journal - see IP addresses above.
And then:
Comment posted by Kaitee in my lj: 6th April 2005: IP 193.147.65.97: Mostoles, Madrid, Spain.
At this point, Kaitee was supposedly in Dublin with Jeannette. There is, however, another journal connected with nvcarnie, jessi_in_spain(nvcarnie’s travel journal for 2005) and from that we have:
1st April, 2005:
I am off to a museum here in Madrid, the third most important and the last one that I need to see of the three major ones, and the only one that isn´t free on a certain day of the week, but they might have a student discount. Either way, the entrance is less than 5 Euro.
Coincidence?
And then 6th April, 2005:
But, it looks like a change in plans is in order for the weekend. It is going to be pouring rain in Alícante all weekend, so we are probably just gonna chill it in Madrid because the whole point of visiting Alícante was to visit the beach.
Still in Madrid. Same day that Kaitee posted a comment in my LJ with an IP resolving to that city.
Let’s take a look at what Kaitee’s LJ says she was up to when her IP says she was in Spain….
April 3rd, 2005:
this birthday was fun. i can´t believe i turned 23, (i am still 18, right??) but nonetheless, the day was fabulous. i slept in way past my normal 5am wakeup call and we had a nice breakfast with john, lindy and the kids. it was fun. and then, afterwards, jean and i drove into dublin, spent a few hours at the rainbow place with the kids there, and then she took me out to a nice meal at our favorite vegetarian place in the city. afterwards we saw a movie and it was just nice.
Ireland apparently!
And 7th April - no indication of a sudden trip to Spain. Sounds like they’re still in Ireland, yes? Not according to your IP of the day before, love.
as we prepare to move, i know we will both face more problems of leaving behind the only true home we have ever shared together, the laughter of the kids, and the way we have become used to a family unit. there have been many other places, and there will be many more, but this home has a life of its own for us, and i know that we will be back, but for now we will do what is best for our families and for ourselves.
The thing we are trying to work out is where the lie happened. Who was in on what, who actually exists. I’ve been in contact with a couple of “people” who I am pretty sure are all the same Jessi, and that it is this one person behind the entire web of fabrications. I have tried to obtain a recent IP for “bugslife” but been unsuccessful, which is unfortunate, as this would be proof beyond doubt. However, my thoughts, for what they are worth, are as follows:
The Boom/Jessi that we knew and that “Kaitee” has posted memorial posts over as recently as 2006, did not die. Also that “Kaitee” herself, whoever is behind her, has been posting untruths since 2002. Whether or not it is nvcarnie orchestrating this entire farce, the jury is still out, but I am convinced enough of the evidence despite her vehement protests to the contrary.
This has not been easy to write or to accept. I was the one who had to tell Boom’s online friends from Mizfits that she had died. My earliest LJ posts are full of her, and her death, and yes, she was mourned. I feel cheated and hurt and also very stupid for being taken for a ride like this.
Final bits and pieces:
The quote from nvcarnie’s thanksgiving post:
Thanksgiving post (Nov 29th) - 2003: http://nvcarnie.livejournal.com/2003/11/29/
For Kaitee, Jeannette, and Kailee. You've given me strength and will. I love you all.
Also this:
July 17th 2003:
Today, July 17, 2003, I am grateful for:
1. Life ... when another Jessi lost hers two years ago today.
2. Old friends from the internet
3. Lunch today with someone who has more pictures of me than my mother does
4. IMs
5. Country Music.
And:
In memory of a person I never met. In memory of the person who left her life in pieces. For a love that will never come again. Today, I remember.
These last two are confusing for a number of reasons. Sounds like proof for Kaitee’s “Jessi” and nvcarnie being separate entities. But with same birth dates, looks, hometowns and backgrounds? Also, as already shown by the emails, carnie claims not to have been overly close with “the other Jessi” or even to know what had happened to her. And the last entry? Sounds rather like “Kaitee” writing imo.
A less concrete piece of proof but still interesting connection - check out “bugslife” and “nvcarnie” user pics on LJ. There are two in common. Not a huge thing I know, but added with everything else I think it bears mentioning.
So, there it is. Think what you will. And know from the start flames will be ignored. This is opinion, backed up with evidence. I don't pretend to dictate what people believe. And if anyone has something that will refute the entire thing, then we are more than willing to listen.