(no subject)
i don't know if i'm going to be able to do this. i feel so fucking lonely and i have noone to talk to. all my friends and family are back in atlanta and no matter how hard i've tried, i have no friends down here. i just wish i could have anyone to talk to in person about anything. i can't even stop fucking crying. i c an't even talk to my boyfriend. i don't know if i can make this work, no matter how hard i try because i feel so hurt. and noone to turn to. my best friend is on a trip for a week and won't have internet access, i don't want to talk to my family, and well yeah my boyfriend i have to give space and can't tell him how i feel. god i want to just break things and smoke a pack of cigarettes. i had 1 when andre was here and it calmed me down so much. i just want another one. smoke and drink myself to sleep. god this would be all better if i knew i could just see charles tomorrow, but i have to wait 12 more days. and who knows what is going to happen in that time. jesus, i think i'm going to puke. ugh. hard crying and a full stomach don't go together. fuck. i just wish i could talk to someone... make the empty and rejected feeling go away...