hollowing out a hole in the water

[limu_o_pele]

Who: limu_o_pele and sideromelane
What: Asha finally turning to her brother for support.
Where: The Xavier Mansion to wherever Bowen's been holed up.
When: Friday, day 5 of the Friendly Reminder event, after Charles Xavier's death.
Warnings: Standard event warnings.

Comments

[sideromelane]

[She's such an idiot, what is she even doing out on the street? He never would have let her if he had been there, but he wasn't and he's that sick knot of guilt gnawing at the back of his head that he's not doing what he should be doing, that he's not keeping her safe. But there are other people who can do it, she's got a houseful of witches to keep her company, and she's not his sister.

So he stays with Naoto, would be a hell of a lot more devastated to lose her for even a few days. He knows she can take care of herself, so maybe he jokes that she's the one keeping him safe. It's true enough, anyway, Asha being hurt sends a wave of dizziness through him that almost lets a clutch of skeletal hands get hold of him and drag him down until she kicks them away and pulls him somewhere safe. She doesn't let him go running off on his own to find her. Would have gone with him, but he tells her its all right, that Asha's all right.

He's fine, she's fine. So he goes and checks on Musetta instead, does what he can until he's just plain tired

[limu_o_pele]

[She isn't lucky enough to not encounter danger along the way. The city is still heavy with it, and though she's able to spot most of the larger creatures and avoid them, there's still a few times hands creep out of the darkness to grab at her, vines attempt to trip and catch her. She kicks her way free and carries on running, but there are scratches and cuts on her legs and arms by the time she makes it to her twin.

She's out of breath and aching, and she'd only really just woken, had slept the entirely of Thursday away in exhaustion. Her emotions are beginning to swell and shake, fall into turmoil - as if she'd been running away from them, trying and leave them at the mansion with Charles' body and his students, and now they were catching up with her.

Her attempt to knock is more her palm landing dully against the door, but Bowen already knows she's here.]

[sideromelane]

[He goes to open the door, catches her in against his chest when she comes stumbling inside.]

What the fuck are you doing?

[There's no bite there, just tired exasperation and concern.]

[limu_o_pele]

[Asha tucks in against him immediately, forehead down against his neck, fingers curling in his shirt. She doesn't know where her PORTAL is, if it's still in her pocket or if she left it at the mansion. She doesn't need the teneka to communicate, but it means the only filter or control on it is her own - which is rapidly unravelling.]

Charles died.

[It's the only solid thing she manages to pass to him. The rest is a jumble of images, of Charles' body in Sean's lap, of his other students surrounding him. The grief and pain they'd been feeling, her own shock, and the quickly following need to be with Bowen.]

[sideromelane]

[He inhales deeply. He doesn't like this, doesn't like her just filling up his head like this. Dad and Chris don't do it, and that's probably for the best. Maybe he picked it up from Jackie, that thing about not liking people in his head, but it's not like he can do anything to kick her out.]

It'll be fine, Asha.

[That's what he's got, and he's... reasonably assured in. Neither he nor Naoto had any special glitter to them, they'd just had swords and leather jackets and they'd come out fine. If nothing else, he could take care of her.]

[limu_o_pele]

I've never--

[Known someone die before, known so much pain and grief and fear before. The wounds she'd suffered two days before had pushed her to breaking point, but she'd kept some tenuous control, thought rest and safety would give her the time to regain the rest. But now Charles was dead, and she hadn't been able to do anything, has never felt so small or powerless in her life.

Her eyes are wet, she realises suddenly. Wet and threatening to overflow. Tears, she hasn't cried since she was a child, and Bowen can't balance her. She pushes back from him, panicked, hands coming up to press over her eyes, like hiding the evidence of her loss of control might stop everything else from crumbling.]

[sideromelane]

[He doesn't let her go very far, takes her by the shoulders and steers her into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind him.]

Relax, Asha.

[It wasn't like he was immune to all the bullshit around them either, he could feel it muted under his skin, but he had no energy to play empath right now, and he wouldn't have wanted to anyway.]

None of it matters.

[The mantra of a surly teen, but it had its place in his life. It was easier to be aloof.]

[limu_o_pele]

[She takes a startled breath, shuddering, and her tears spill over. He shouldn't have brought her in the apartment. It's dangerous, her control is not only in place to keep her self safe, but to stop any chances of her power effecting others.]

No, Bowen let me go I could hurt you.

[How is she supposed to know what matters or not, when it clamours at her from every side, every possible glimmer of thought or feeling. He matters, he's her brother, but she can't let her world revolve around just him.]

[sideromelane]

Stop it, Asha.

[There's no anger there either, it's just a statement of something obvious. Of course he was going to bring her inside, and of course he wasn't letting go of her, how stupid was she.]

Just stop thinking about it. Look at me.

[His Asha wouldn't would be winding herself into knots, wouldn't be in tears. The last time they'd cried like that, with no possibly way to stop, had been for Fela. And this isn't like that. Xavier wasn't their family. Asha should be laughing all this off, making inappropriate comments about wheeling him out of the morgue with her arms crossed uncomfortably over her chest because maybe he wasn't family, but she liked him. But she still wasn't going to let her thoughts get all the way to grief, it was a bridge she wouldn't cross because tears weren't an option, it was just too fucking embarrassing.]

[limu_o_pele]

[There was nothing obvious, no 'of course', not anymore. She saw it every time she looked at him, that he disliked her, that his thoughts were always quick to fall back into a mantra of her not being his sister. He should be quick to let go of her, shouldn't he? Glad to be rid of her and her glitter. But he's holding on, and she shakes, can't line anything up to make sense in her head. Hurt and lost, and two months of teaching herself not to look for him for anchor or comfort leaves her unable to easily accept the idea of it now.

She's starting to drift, unravelling, the thick weave of threads that make up Promenade's world tugging her in, bright things stained through with the darkness of the past week. But everything's so much more beautiful beneath the surface, shining with the lights no one else sees. It's so much easier to look at the tapestry the world makes, than try to pay attention to the people who make it.]

[sideromelane]

[Bowen gives her a jerk.]

Look at me.

[Not underneath, not at the webs, not at the tight crisscross of strings. At him.]

[limu_o_pele]

[Asha isn't so far gone that the rough jerk doesn't startle her, and her gaze snaps to him, her attention with it. All of her attention. Her abilities writhe, tendrils no longer kept in their careful tight knot, reaching out to wind themselves around the nearest mind, to know everything there and emulate it all.

She tries to hold them back, but she's scared, and it's always been so strong. That's always been the problem, that strength. A pair of twins too great and powerful for their own good.

She lifts one hand to wrap fingers around his wrist, holding on tightly. But it's clear in her eyes that she's sure she's about to fall.]

[sideromelane]

[His eyebrows knit, not quite angry or frustrated, but this isn't something he's ever had to do. He leans into Asha quietly until their foreheads touch.]

Listen to me.

[His tone is firm.]

You are here with me, Asha, feet on the floor.

[limu_o_pele]

[It's familiar, the way he holds her, the many times Bowen has brought her into the same position. It's a sign to focus, on him, them together, but there isn't the same map of walls and barriers inside his mind to use as guidance to rebuild her own.

She struggles, for a moment, almost finds herself tumbling back into the webs surrounding them. But Bowen's there to hold onto, and she fights it back, keeps her focus on him, on his emotions and mind. Even if they aren't as quiet as she truly needs, even if her own abilities keep trying to wrap around him, there is more solace there than in the tangled tapestry of the city.]

I can't... I can't remember what I'm meant to do.

[Dominique had taught them how to centre themselves, but it had always been easier to use each other, and she can't find her way back to her memories of her mother's lessons. Keeps getting caught in the last week, how many times she'd thought of Dominique as she'd been fighting, and that way only leads back to pain and grief (all the blood on her hands when she'd

[sideromelane]

[His lips purse. Goddamn it... It's not as if he can even pretend to understand what she's going through. His own glitter was such a quiet fizzle that it hardly did more than give him a few tiny clues about the state of the webs around him. She's gone into turbulence, and he supposes he has to do what he can. Takes a deep breath. The first thing that comes to mind is a pearl in a shell, her personality encased safely inside a hard-shell barrier.]

Back inside, Asha.

[A gentle prompting as he lifts his hands higher on her face, blinders to keep her from looking off at anything else.]

You need to stop letting all the water in. I know you always have to be a pain in the ass and go too far, but right now it's time to shut up. Listen to me for once.

[Instructions and reminders, he may not be her brother, and he doesn't even really know who the fuck she is, but he can either tell her how to act, or she'll find someone else's name to pick up, and that would be even worse than the shit they've got going now.]

[limu_o_pele]

[He looks annoyed, feels annoyed, and her instinct is that she's caused that, that she's asking too much of him. All the power he'd never known, never learnt how to deal with, never been troubled by. Not until she arrived here.

But he blinkers her in, tells her to listen, and of course she does. She has to. He's her brother, her twin, has always been there for her. Even if it wasn't this Bowen, he was still Bowen.

She takes the image he creates, focusses in on it, using his guidance to hold it steady in her mind. It grows stronger the longer she does, as he keeps talking and she keeps listening, a shape forming to pull herself back into.

Things slowly begin to calm, her breathing steadying, her emotions easing back. It leaves room for her to really think again, to begin to actively construct walls based on the framework Bowen has helped her put up.]