Of Pink Skirts and Alternative Universes
Chapter: One Shot of Crack.
Pairing: Everybody/Hangeng, implied Kyuhan and Shihan
Genre: Attempted Comedy/Crack.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: It was Sailor Moon that drove Heechul to do it. Put Hannie in a skirt and make him prance around in it for the day. That poor pathetic soul.
Warnings: Cross-dressing. Geng in a skirt! Major Crack.
Disclaimer: I have an unhealthy obsession over italics and I do not own Super Junior. Dammit.
Of Pink Skirts and Alternative Universes
Hangeng cursed the day Heechul was born. No, he cursed the day the male had started watching Sailor Moon. Sailor Fucking Moon. It was the root of all evil that had led Heechul to gush over it in a Heechul-like fashion along with the idea of cosplaying. This in which somehow implied to Hangeng because the poor unfortunate soul was just there while the hot pink neon lights flashed in Heechul’s mind.
Simply said, Heechul was to make a skirt and Hangeng was to model it.
Translation: Heechul was to make a highly short and ridiculously pink skirt and Hangeng was to prance around in it. For the day.
He was pretty sure that the skirt wasn’t supposed to be pink, but blue. Then again it was Heechul.
Thus in turn, the hands on the clock are shifted to this very day and moment.
Hangeng could only weep at his own misery.
It was a typical morning for the Chinese male as he trekked his not so merry way to the kitchen. Having slapped on the pink skirt with a long white sleeve button top; he was less than cheery, and had lost more than half his dignity.
The skirt was short. It was indecently short, riding a few inches above his well toned, slender legs. He didn’t even want to think about what he was wearing under the skirt.
He heard footsteps and the sound of the fridge opening. Hangeng looked over, spotting an eager looking Shindong hastily yet carefully maneuver the ridiculously large cake out of the fridge. Spread with chocolate and decorated with strawberry slices, along with whip cream, it was one of Ryeowook’s creations.
“Isn’t it too early to have cake?” The Chinese man in a skirt asked as he turned on the stove to cook something that wasn’t Beijing Fried Rice because Heechul did not deserve such delicacy at the moment.
Having heard the man, Shindong turned and dropped the cake.
The beautiful chocolate creation that had taken Ryeowook hours was splattered onto the floor.
Mouth agape, the younger man could only stare in surprise at Hangeng, at Hangeng’s legs to be exact.
At this moment in his life, Hangeng believes he has entered an alternative universe where Shingdongs don’t cry over spilled cake, but instead ogle at his non-cakey-legs.
It was barely noon and Hangeng wished that the day was already over. He had passed by Leetuek and had convinced the male that nothing was wrong with him and he was not going through a phase. Of course the eldest wouldn’t take any of that as he trapped Hangeng between his arms, whilst whispering that everything was going to be fine if Hangeng just took off that skirt for him.
By the time he had escaped Leetuek’s grip, he had gotten a smack on the ass by a leering Kangin along the way. That kept him running.
He threw himself onto the couch, legs spread as he slumped down, tired and annoyed.
“Um..Gege..”
Eyes blinked in recognition as he sat himself straight. He turned and gazed at the speaking individual.
Sitting nervously at the end of the couch was none other then everyone’s precious baby mochi, Henry.
Hangeng watched him, smiling warily. Henry was the most innocent, rivaling Ryeowook’s angel persona. He breathed in a sigh of relief, allowing his shoulders to slouch once more.
“What is it Henry?” The Chinese male asked; a smile on his tan features.
Twiddling with the violin stick, properly dubbed a ‘bow’, the boy began speaking.
“Ah..Gege, looks different today. What’s the occasion?”
He groaned mentally as he explained to the ever nervous boy.
“SohowaboutyouandIgoout?”
Hangeng blinked, not quite catching the foreign language that had slipped out of the male’s mouth.
“Excuse me?”
Everything was lost as the chubby cheeked boy continued on in English. Hangeng could only watch in increasing confusion as the boy spoke, only catching words like “cute”, “legs”, and something about a calendar date.
He left as soon as Henry turned beat red, making lewd jabbing motions with his violin stick.
Along the way he had quickly passed a smiling Kibum. He had quickly turned the corner to avoid a turtle-wielding Yesung who had exclaimed that he had wanted to touch other areas besides his phililtrum.
Finding the closest room, he went in, and slammed the door shut, locking it. Hangeng groaned softly as he thumped his head against the door in frustration.
“Hyung..”
A smooth throaty moan escaped the familiar’s lips from behind. He whipped around, seeing a very pink Sungmin on a very pink bed. He gulped and smiled nervously.
“Ah, Sungmin..” Greeted the China man awkwardly as he fiddled with his skirt, trying to make it appear longer than what it was.
The pink loving bunny adoring male smiled foxily as he watched Hangeng like a piece of meat. He was lying on his stomach, legs dangled in the air, while his hands were propped under his shoulders.
“C’mere, sit down Hyung. You look absolutely tired.” The man suggested in an overly sweet tone, licking his lips.
Hangeng reluctantly took the offer and sat down, because he was Hangeng and because he was that nice, even when the situation threatened his ass.
Like this one.
Once he had sat down, Sungmin pounced on him.
It was an epic struggle for dominance. Sungmin hissed in lust, resembling an oversized bunny in heat and Hangeng squawked like the scared chicken that he was. He hadn’t seen the pink fluffy handcuffs that the male had produced out of his equally pink pajama pockets.
To be honest, Hangeng didn’t even want to know why Sungmin had fluffy pink handcuffs.
He had gotten away, running out like a scared school girl with the skirt riding up and billowing in a seductive manner, cursing Heechul at the same time.
Of course, Hangeng only managed to get out with his ass in tact after he had cuffed a hissing, kicking Sungmin to his bed.
He hoped someone would show up and notice the cuffed Sungmin.
Hangeng was a nice guy after all.
He was nice enough to simply remove himself from a certain Donghae and Eunhyuk, who had sandwiched themselves to his sides.
He had also managed to skillfully extract himself from a talkative Zhoumi, who was saying how he looked good in that pink skirt and if he would just hold on and let him do a few finishing touches, he would be perfect.
Hangeng declined politely as possible.
He questioned the fellow Chinese male’s worship over this Gaga God.
He ignored a blushing, flustered Ryeowook along the way, the younger mumbling about going to the grocery store to get chocolate and whip cream.
Funny because Hangeng was positive that there was still half a can of whip cream available along with a full bottle of chocolate. The Chinese male figured that the younger was planning to make another cake.
It was nearly four in the afternoon when Siwon was rudely pulled out of his nice dream.
Sadly, he knew it was just a dream. Heechul did not believe in God and Hangeng wasn’t offering himself to him yet.
Life was pitiful for the Christian man.
Or maybe it wasn’t and God decided to listen to his prayers.
Standing there in his Chinese glory was Hangeng. The male was currently pressed against the door, looking frantic, and every bit the damsel in distress.
Feeling eyes on him, he whipped around and noticed Siwon. Smiling weakly at the male, he waved pathetically.
“Hi Siwon.”
Siwon gulped, eyes practically bulging out of his sockets as he kept them glued onto the pair of sexy tanned legs in front of him. Now they just needed to be spread.
He clapped his hands together and closed his eyes, sending thanks to God.
Hangeng stared at the praying male, wondering if he had indeed walked into an alternative universe by mistake because he was sure he heard Siwon mutter “legs.”
The alternative universe is definitely proven as Siwon is now by his side, hugging him dearly and caressing his thighs, while assuring him that it wasn’t going to hurt that much and that he was going to take it slow.
He excused himself and ran. Ran like the wind with the skirt flapping up which gave Siwon a nice view of pink panties.
Fuck Kim Heechul and his skirt.
Instead of running into the room and slamming the door shut, he merely walked in and closed the door. Because even if he had entered an alternative universe, he at least knew the game addict wouldn’t pay any amount of attention to him.
“You have nicer legs than an isosceles right triangle.”
Hangeng twitched, fist clenched as he recognized the familiar, smooth tone coming out of the game addict’s mouth.
“I would really like to bisect your angle.”
He sighed and slapped his hand to his face, turning around to gaze at the snarky magnae who was seated on the red computer chair. A smirk plastered on the male’s pale features as he leered at the skirt clad lad.
Hangeng stared in annoyance as he watched the snarky man wiggle his eyebrows in a Siwon-like manner.
“How about we do some arithmetic?” Kyuhyun purred as he rose from his seat gracefully and sauntered over to where the Chinese male was, giving off the impression of a panther advancing on towards it’s prey.
He grinned as he slammed both his hands on the wall, trapping Hangeng between his arms.
Hangeng stared back at the crazed look on the male’s face. He gulped, feeling nervous.
That was until Kyuhyun started talking.
“Let’s add the beds, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply the fun.” The magnae murmured as leaned close to Hangeng’s face.
Hangeng didn’t really know if he had entered an alternative universe. He figured he didn’t care anymore as long as Kyuhyun’s hand was making its nice way up his skirt.
He found himself nodding when the male asked if he wanted to see the “exponential growth of his natural log.”
Now all he had to do was persuade Kyuhyun to let Siwon join in the fun.
_____________________
This is the first and last crack fic I'll ever write!
Pairing: Everybody/Hangeng, implied Kyuhan and Shihan
Genre: Attempted Comedy/Crack.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: It was Sailor Moon that drove Heechul to do it. Put Hannie in a skirt and make him prance around in it for the day. That poor pathetic soul.
Warnings: Cross-dressing. Geng in a skirt! Major Crack.
Disclaimer: I have an unhealthy obsession over italics and I do not own Super Junior. Dammit.
Of Pink Skirts and Alternative Universes
Hangeng cursed the day Heechul was born. No, he cursed the day the male had started watching Sailor Moon. Sailor Fucking Moon. It was the root of all evil that had led Heechul to gush over it in a Heechul-like fashion along with the idea of cosplaying. This in which somehow implied to Hangeng because the poor unfortunate soul was just there while the hot pink neon lights flashed in Heechul’s mind.
Simply said, Heechul was to make a skirt and Hangeng was to model it.
Translation: Heechul was to make a highly short and ridiculously pink skirt and Hangeng was to prance around in it. For the day.
He was pretty sure that the skirt wasn’t supposed to be pink, but blue. Then again it was Heechul.
Thus in turn, the hands on the clock are shifted to this very day and moment.
Hangeng could only weep at his own misery.
It was a typical morning for the Chinese male as he trekked his not so merry way to the kitchen. Having slapped on the pink skirt with a long white sleeve button top; he was less than cheery, and had lost more than half his dignity.
The skirt was short. It was indecently short, riding a few inches above his well toned, slender legs. He didn’t even want to think about what he was wearing under the skirt.
He heard footsteps and the sound of the fridge opening. Hangeng looked over, spotting an eager looking Shindong hastily yet carefully maneuver the ridiculously large cake out of the fridge. Spread with chocolate and decorated with strawberry slices, along with whip cream, it was one of Ryeowook’s creations.
“Isn’t it too early to have cake?” The Chinese man in a skirt asked as he turned on the stove to cook something that wasn’t Beijing Fried Rice because Heechul did not deserve such delicacy at the moment.
Having heard the man, Shindong turned and dropped the cake.
The beautiful chocolate creation that had taken Ryeowook hours was splattered onto the floor.
Mouth agape, the younger man could only stare in surprise at Hangeng, at Hangeng’s legs to be exact.
At this moment in his life, Hangeng believes he has entered an alternative universe where Shingdongs don’t cry over spilled cake, but instead ogle at his non-cakey-legs.
It was barely noon and Hangeng wished that the day was already over. He had passed by Leetuek and had convinced the male that nothing was wrong with him and he was not going through a phase. Of course the eldest wouldn’t take any of that as he trapped Hangeng between his arms, whilst whispering that everything was going to be fine if Hangeng just took off that skirt for him.
By the time he had escaped Leetuek’s grip, he had gotten a smack on the ass by a leering Kangin along the way. That kept him running.
He threw himself onto the couch, legs spread as he slumped down, tired and annoyed.
“Um..Gege..”
Eyes blinked in recognition as he sat himself straight. He turned and gazed at the speaking individual.
Sitting nervously at the end of the couch was none other then everyone’s precious baby mochi, Henry.
Hangeng watched him, smiling warily. Henry was the most innocent, rivaling Ryeowook’s angel persona. He breathed in a sigh of relief, allowing his shoulders to slouch once more.
“What is it Henry?” The Chinese male asked; a smile on his tan features.
Twiddling with the violin stick, properly dubbed a ‘bow’, the boy began speaking.
“Ah..Gege, looks different today. What’s the occasion?”
He groaned mentally as he explained to the ever nervous boy.
“SohowaboutyouandIgoout?”
Hangeng blinked, not quite catching the foreign language that had slipped out of the male’s mouth.
“Excuse me?”
Everything was lost as the chubby cheeked boy continued on in English. Hangeng could only watch in increasing confusion as the boy spoke, only catching words like “cute”, “legs”, and something about a calendar date.
He left as soon as Henry turned beat red, making lewd jabbing motions with his violin stick.
Along the way he had quickly passed a smiling Kibum. He had quickly turned the corner to avoid a turtle-wielding Yesung who had exclaimed that he had wanted to touch other areas besides his phililtrum.
Finding the closest room, he went in, and slammed the door shut, locking it. Hangeng groaned softly as he thumped his head against the door in frustration.
“Hyung..”
A smooth throaty moan escaped the familiar’s lips from behind. He whipped around, seeing a very pink Sungmin on a very pink bed. He gulped and smiled nervously.
“Ah, Sungmin..” Greeted the China man awkwardly as he fiddled with his skirt, trying to make it appear longer than what it was.
The pink loving bunny adoring male smiled foxily as he watched Hangeng like a piece of meat. He was lying on his stomach, legs dangled in the air, while his hands were propped under his shoulders.
“C’mere, sit down Hyung. You look absolutely tired.” The man suggested in an overly sweet tone, licking his lips.
Hangeng reluctantly took the offer and sat down, because he was Hangeng and because he was that nice, even when the situation threatened his ass.
Like this one.
Once he had sat down, Sungmin pounced on him.
It was an epic struggle for dominance. Sungmin hissed in lust, resembling an oversized bunny in heat and Hangeng squawked like the scared chicken that he was. He hadn’t seen the pink fluffy handcuffs that the male had produced out of his equally pink pajama pockets.
To be honest, Hangeng didn’t even want to know why Sungmin had fluffy pink handcuffs.
He had gotten away, running out like a scared school girl with the skirt riding up and billowing in a seductive manner, cursing Heechul at the same time.
Of course, Hangeng only managed to get out with his ass in tact after he had cuffed a hissing, kicking Sungmin to his bed.
He hoped someone would show up and notice the cuffed Sungmin.
Hangeng was a nice guy after all.
He was nice enough to simply remove himself from a certain Donghae and Eunhyuk, who had sandwiched themselves to his sides.
He had also managed to skillfully extract himself from a talkative Zhoumi, who was saying how he looked good in that pink skirt and if he would just hold on and let him do a few finishing touches, he would be perfect.
Hangeng declined politely as possible.
He questioned the fellow Chinese male’s worship over this Gaga God.
He ignored a blushing, flustered Ryeowook along the way, the younger mumbling about going to the grocery store to get chocolate and whip cream.
Funny because Hangeng was positive that there was still half a can of whip cream available along with a full bottle of chocolate. The Chinese male figured that the younger was planning to make another cake.
It was nearly four in the afternoon when Siwon was rudely pulled out of his nice dream.
Sadly, he knew it was just a dream. Heechul did not believe in God and Hangeng wasn’t offering himself to him yet.
Life was pitiful for the Christian man.
Or maybe it wasn’t and God decided to listen to his prayers.
Standing there in his Chinese glory was Hangeng. The male was currently pressed against the door, looking frantic, and every bit the damsel in distress.
Feeling eyes on him, he whipped around and noticed Siwon. Smiling weakly at the male, he waved pathetically.
“Hi Siwon.”
Siwon gulped, eyes practically bulging out of his sockets as he kept them glued onto the pair of sexy tanned legs in front of him. Now they just needed to be spread.
He clapped his hands together and closed his eyes, sending thanks to God.
Hangeng stared at the praying male, wondering if he had indeed walked into an alternative universe by mistake because he was sure he heard Siwon mutter “legs.”
The alternative universe is definitely proven as Siwon is now by his side, hugging him dearly and caressing his thighs, while assuring him that it wasn’t going to hurt that much and that he was going to take it slow.
He excused himself and ran. Ran like the wind with the skirt flapping up which gave Siwon a nice view of pink panties.
Fuck Kim Heechul and his skirt.
Instead of running into the room and slamming the door shut, he merely walked in and closed the door. Because even if he had entered an alternative universe, he at least knew the game addict wouldn’t pay any amount of attention to him.
“You have nicer legs than an isosceles right triangle.”
Hangeng twitched, fist clenched as he recognized the familiar, smooth tone coming out of the game addict’s mouth.
“I would really like to bisect your angle.”
He sighed and slapped his hand to his face, turning around to gaze at the snarky magnae who was seated on the red computer chair. A smirk plastered on the male’s pale features as he leered at the skirt clad lad.
Hangeng stared in annoyance as he watched the snarky man wiggle his eyebrows in a Siwon-like manner.
“How about we do some arithmetic?” Kyuhyun purred as he rose from his seat gracefully and sauntered over to where the Chinese male was, giving off the impression of a panther advancing on towards it’s prey.
He grinned as he slammed both his hands on the wall, trapping Hangeng between his arms.
Hangeng stared back at the crazed look on the male’s face. He gulped, feeling nervous.
That was until Kyuhyun started talking.
“Let’s add the beds, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply the fun.” The magnae murmured as leaned close to Hangeng’s face.
Hangeng didn’t really know if he had entered an alternative universe. He figured he didn’t care anymore as long as Kyuhyun’s hand was making its nice way up his skirt.
He found himself nodding when the male asked if he wanted to see the “exponential growth of his natural log.”
Now all he had to do was persuade Kyuhyun to let Siwon join in the fun.
_____________________
This is the first and last crack fic I'll ever write!