Can The Ante Get Higher?
My ex husband seems to like setting a standard for any of my other exes to follow in being an asshole. I would wish any luck in following and surpassing, but at least one of you does a good enough job without it.
The last two night have been a bit rough for me. It seems that both nights I've had two friends contact me who were at the moment dealing with a crisis and/or emotional upheaval. This of course involved both their other halves *husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend* and basically a fight or being upset over a course of events that had happened and/or was happening. Both of my friends are out of state but use to live near me...so it sucks because I can't physically be there to support them. This leave me being stuck with using the phone or computer to talk to them and try to help out as I can. One of them is fine for now and the other is still waiting to see what happened. After two night of it and feeling as if I was channeling someone else I knew who would deal with such crisis back to back, I was a bit worried about coming home and finding a new one waiting. Things tend to run in threes. However so far, the night has been quiet. No one is breaking up, fighting right now *so far*, and that should be putting me at ease....and there goes the blinking box of orange death that is my AIM or Yahoo...which is the friend from last night.
Well, I was thinking the tonight's crisis would be me, but it may be changing. I'll talk about my evening instead though. Got home late after my 11 hour shift and called to talk to my son. No answer, which is becoming the norm. So I start working on dinner, waiting to see if I would get a text or call back. My children's father calls me to tell me how they are doing *our son is still incoming from a field trip so not available* and our daughter is with his grandmother for a few days...*I don't really like that alot since she undoes alot of things in a short period of time with the kids*. Talk about the children and he starts going on about how they are sooooo happy and doing much better with Him now. Our daughter is talking so much more since he's gotten her and they've both lost weight and give him no trouble, behave, things are really coming together and improving since they've come to be with him and blah blah blah....It pisses me off that he seems to be taking credit for how our children are doing.
Our daughter was beginning to talk more and using sentences before I handed them over to their dad for this year. She was already slimming down and growing upwards *growth spurt*, which happens usually in the summer after a period of weight gain. She's always "loved" school once she has settled in and gotten on a routine, she was that way here. It's no so much that it's his and his fiancee's doing like he seemed to make it out to me as that it's been a work in progress and it's finally coming to fruitation. I've laid that ground work and now he's going to basically claim the credit for the wave following. Way to go, that's what the politicians and such do, claim the good coming off the person before them while blaming as much shit as they can on those they came in behind.
Our son was getting chunky and that was being worked on too. His grandmother on his dad's side feeding him all that fast food was not helping, nor her letting him stay in doors all day playing games. Also, I figured he was about to do some growing as well. Guess what, he did. When I last had them with me fully, he was just above my chest/breast in height. He's under my chin now and has slimmed down. The children's daddy of course figured it was the "diet" he put him on which was not done on purpose. This consisted of not feeding him anything else if he didn't want to eat dinner, basically making him go hungry until his stomach decided he should eat what was available. The morning routine of nothing but "the same stinking cereal", I quote my son there and lunches of peanut butter sandwiches *again, my son complained of such, though last I heard he got ham finally as something different*, and he's slimmed down alot and shot up. His daddy went on about how he was overweight for a kid his age, but under his care, has gotten to a reasonable weight. Our son started out bigger than his age group, whenever he grows he always seems to pack alot away in the way of weight only to drop it when he starts gaining inches.
It's all in the way that my ex husband seemed to present it to me on the phone that hurt and upset me. It all came across as all this improvement was going on because they were with Him and not Me now. I've worked on all this with the kids for awhile now. After having them almost two months *they've spend a week or two elsewhere in this time*, it may be that he's finally getting to know his own kids so sees all this now since he has them with him. I've tried to get him to spend more time with them before and there was always some excuse about work, or his health coming up. The only times he's really tried to get the kids, was when he had a steady girlfriend who was living with him. To me, that signified that if he didn't have someone to help him, then he was unavailable or unable to spend more than the minimum time with our kids. If our son goes to his fiancee to ask about stuff that he should his dad, it may be because she's the one possible doing more with him or he's comfortable asking a female. After all, that's all that has been available to him since the separation originally.
I did it all alone and did not go out to find someone to help or try to replace my kid's dad. I spent time reassuring him whenever it came up that I was not looking for his replacement since as far as I am concerned or at least was, they have only one dad and that is him. I can not say that he has not looked for a replacement for me in that regard nor that if it wasn't for the helpmate, he would still have gotten our kids this year.
Maybe he did not mean for our conversation to come out with it seeming as though he's bragging or saying that all this is happening with the kids because of His parenting, but it's how it came across to me. Never mind that she was already talking before this, that children who are growing put on weight for growing, and that our eldest child is still wanting to come home. Never mind that when our son said he wanted to come home and that I was a better parent, his father told him that I was not and he was and how he could provide a better home and stability for his sister and him. That he couldn't come home to me and that even after a year, he may still not be, nor would his feelings/voice be considered in this by a judge until he was of age for such. If I don't hear a different tune from our son after a year's time I'm going to have trouble dealing with it.
I hope that maybe I'm reading too much into what my ex husband said on the phone...but it is him and he's always had this elitist attitude. It hurts to think he really does think he is so very much better than me in dealing with our children, especially since I am the one who has done it alone basically.
The last two night have been a bit rough for me. It seems that both nights I've had two friends contact me who were at the moment dealing with a crisis and/or emotional upheaval. This of course involved both their other halves *husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend* and basically a fight or being upset over a course of events that had happened and/or was happening. Both of my friends are out of state but use to live near me...so it sucks because I can't physically be there to support them. This leave me being stuck with using the phone or computer to talk to them and try to help out as I can. One of them is fine for now and the other is still waiting to see what happened. After two night of it and feeling as if I was channeling someone else I knew who would deal with such crisis back to back, I was a bit worried about coming home and finding a new one waiting. Things tend to run in threes. However so far, the night has been quiet. No one is breaking up, fighting right now *so far*, and that should be putting me at ease....and there goes the blinking box of orange death that is my AIM or Yahoo...which is the friend from last night.
Well, I was thinking the tonight's crisis would be me, but it may be changing. I'll talk about my evening instead though. Got home late after my 11 hour shift and called to talk to my son. No answer, which is becoming the norm. So I start working on dinner, waiting to see if I would get a text or call back. My children's father calls me to tell me how they are doing *our son is still incoming from a field trip so not available* and our daughter is with his grandmother for a few days...*I don't really like that alot since she undoes alot of things in a short period of time with the kids*. Talk about the children and he starts going on about how they are sooooo happy and doing much better with Him now. Our daughter is talking so much more since he's gotten her and they've both lost weight and give him no trouble, behave, things are really coming together and improving since they've come to be with him and blah blah blah....It pisses me off that he seems to be taking credit for how our children are doing.
Our daughter was beginning to talk more and using sentences before I handed them over to their dad for this year. She was already slimming down and growing upwards *growth spurt*, which happens usually in the summer after a period of weight gain. She's always "loved" school once she has settled in and gotten on a routine, she was that way here. It's no so much that it's his and his fiancee's doing like he seemed to make it out to me as that it's been a work in progress and it's finally coming to fruitation. I've laid that ground work and now he's going to basically claim the credit for the wave following. Way to go, that's what the politicians and such do, claim the good coming off the person before them while blaming as much shit as they can on those they came in behind.
Our son was getting chunky and that was being worked on too. His grandmother on his dad's side feeding him all that fast food was not helping, nor her letting him stay in doors all day playing games. Also, I figured he was about to do some growing as well. Guess what, he did. When I last had them with me fully, he was just above my chest/breast in height. He's under my chin now and has slimmed down. The children's daddy of course figured it was the "diet" he put him on which was not done on purpose. This consisted of not feeding him anything else if he didn't want to eat dinner, basically making him go hungry until his stomach decided he should eat what was available. The morning routine of nothing but "the same stinking cereal", I quote my son there and lunches of peanut butter sandwiches *again, my son complained of such, though last I heard he got ham finally as something different*, and he's slimmed down alot and shot up. His daddy went on about how he was overweight for a kid his age, but under his care, has gotten to a reasonable weight. Our son started out bigger than his age group, whenever he grows he always seems to pack alot away in the way of weight only to drop it when he starts gaining inches.
It's all in the way that my ex husband seemed to present it to me on the phone that hurt and upset me. It all came across as all this improvement was going on because they were with Him and not Me now. I've worked on all this with the kids for awhile now. After having them almost two months *they've spend a week or two elsewhere in this time*, it may be that he's finally getting to know his own kids so sees all this now since he has them with him. I've tried to get him to spend more time with them before and there was always some excuse about work, or his health coming up. The only times he's really tried to get the kids, was when he had a steady girlfriend who was living with him. To me, that signified that if he didn't have someone to help him, then he was unavailable or unable to spend more than the minimum time with our kids. If our son goes to his fiancee to ask about stuff that he should his dad, it may be because she's the one possible doing more with him or he's comfortable asking a female. After all, that's all that has been available to him since the separation originally.
I did it all alone and did not go out to find someone to help or try to replace my kid's dad. I spent time reassuring him whenever it came up that I was not looking for his replacement since as far as I am concerned or at least was, they have only one dad and that is him. I can not say that he has not looked for a replacement for me in that regard nor that if it wasn't for the helpmate, he would still have gotten our kids this year.
Maybe he did not mean for our conversation to come out with it seeming as though he's bragging or saying that all this is happening with the kids because of His parenting, but it's how it came across to me. Never mind that she was already talking before this, that children who are growing put on weight for growing, and that our eldest child is still wanting to come home. Never mind that when our son said he wanted to come home and that I was a better parent, his father told him that I was not and he was and how he could provide a better home and stability for his sister and him. That he couldn't come home to me and that even after a year, he may still not be, nor would his feelings/voice be considered in this by a judge until he was of age for such. If I don't hear a different tune from our son after a year's time I'm going to have trouble dealing with it.
I hope that maybe I'm reading too much into what my ex husband said on the phone...but it is him and he's always had this elitist attitude. It hurts to think he really does think he is so very much better than me in dealing with our children, especially since I am the one who has done it alone basically.