im becoming a lesbian...
I know this entry is just going to end up being a vent about andrew, but i kinda cant help it. I've been like crying at night n shit about this boy. I like wanted to tell him that i loved him a few days ago....like the day before our four month anniversary...but then im like..shit i dont think i love this boy, and even if i did, i really didnt wanna feel the heartbreak of him saying...."well, gee, thanks lena...ur sweet" cuz thats prolyl what he would say.
I spent all sunday at his house, that was pretty sweet. Andrew's dad wants to get us both a job at this like boating club place in grand haven. I was all excited..but andrew basically just wrote me off and decided i wasnt invited into this job. I could TOTALLY tell he didnt want to spend his summer with me. (even though he would have his own place and i could stay there with him) but whatever.
i got kinda drunk last night and decided i should break up with andrew. and then i woke up. and i for sure still thought that was a good idea. i still pretty much do. i think im too attatched to him. Cuz i mean when im not around him, i sorta miss him...but when im around him i like never wanna leave and i feel really sad that i would break up with him cuz he really didnt do anything wrong. I know im a severely picky girl, but whats wrong with that? I'm starting to think that i wont find anyone thats super right for me. Thats ok, at least i can become a lesbian. Cuz i really do like girls too ive come to notice.
Um what else can i talk about... SCHOOL! well its not that bad. i just realized that i dont actually like writing papers, even though im prety good at it.so i have a paper due friday, and it has to be about something that happened to me thats memorable...like something random that i can write about. my professor told us that it cant be something like in chronological order...so that means i cant write about how my dad hit me and got sent to jail and all that shit...cuz that was over a span of time. ok here are my options: i can write about this one time i was in 2nd grade and we were learning about like...how smaller spaces let less air in or something like that. and she was like "we need a volunteer...who likes milk?" and im like the biggest milk fan in the world but i kept quiet cuz im RETARD! and then this boy raised his hand and guess what?!?! he got a big ass milkshake with like two different sized straws...he got to drink the whole effin thing to himself i was soooo pissed. anyways thats one story..
or
This one time i was in 4th grade and my two friends sausan and rachel found out i had a crush on aaron but so did like half the school and so when i came into class they had written like lena + aaron+love all over the board and like k-i-s-s-i-n-g sitting in a tree and shit and i was like about to cry cuz the whole class seemed to be involved in it. anywyas then we had to go talk to like this councselor all day and sit in the hallway together until we fixed it.
so those are my options...now that i started writing about it, i kinda realized that i have a lot more stories than i realize.
ok so what else to talk about...i need to vent some more but andrews coming over soon so i will just take it out on him. i need to get laid. or something. i want to decorate my dorm room, its not colorful enough.
OH! OH! so i was at my friend calvins new house in grand rapids and i realized that the house rocked and they only pay 160 each a month for rent..like plus food. SOO my new development is that getting a house somewhere and living with like 4 people will be buttfuck loads cheaper than getting an apartment. so now i gotta go freakin house hunting. fun fun. well thats all for now. i should write in this thing more often so that my entries arent so fucking long. please respond i need comments or else..um...i dont know ill stress out. peace
I spent all sunday at his house, that was pretty sweet. Andrew's dad wants to get us both a job at this like boating club place in grand haven. I was all excited..but andrew basically just wrote me off and decided i wasnt invited into this job. I could TOTALLY tell he didnt want to spend his summer with me. (even though he would have his own place and i could stay there with him) but whatever.
i got kinda drunk last night and decided i should break up with andrew. and then i woke up. and i for sure still thought that was a good idea. i still pretty much do. i think im too attatched to him. Cuz i mean when im not around him, i sorta miss him...but when im around him i like never wanna leave and i feel really sad that i would break up with him cuz he really didnt do anything wrong. I know im a severely picky girl, but whats wrong with that? I'm starting to think that i wont find anyone thats super right for me. Thats ok, at least i can become a lesbian. Cuz i really do like girls too ive come to notice.
Um what else can i talk about... SCHOOL! well its not that bad. i just realized that i dont actually like writing papers, even though im prety good at it.so i have a paper due friday, and it has to be about something that happened to me thats memorable...like something random that i can write about. my professor told us that it cant be something like in chronological order...so that means i cant write about how my dad hit me and got sent to jail and all that shit...cuz that was over a span of time. ok here are my options: i can write about this one time i was in 2nd grade and we were learning about like...how smaller spaces let less air in or something like that. and she was like "we need a volunteer...who likes milk?" and im like the biggest milk fan in the world but i kept quiet cuz im RETARD! and then this boy raised his hand and guess what?!?! he got a big ass milkshake with like two different sized straws...he got to drink the whole effin thing to himself i was soooo pissed. anyways thats one story..
or
This one time i was in 4th grade and my two friends sausan and rachel found out i had a crush on aaron but so did like half the school and so when i came into class they had written like lena + aaron+love all over the board and like k-i-s-s-i-n-g sitting in a tree and shit and i was like about to cry cuz the whole class seemed to be involved in it. anywyas then we had to go talk to like this councselor all day and sit in the hallway together until we fixed it.
so those are my options...now that i started writing about it, i kinda realized that i have a lot more stories than i realize.
ok so what else to talk about...i need to vent some more but andrews coming over soon so i will just take it out on him. i need to get laid. or something. i want to decorate my dorm room, its not colorful enough.
OH! OH! so i was at my friend calvins new house in grand rapids and i realized that the house rocked and they only pay 160 each a month for rent..like plus food. SOO my new development is that getting a house somewhere and living with like 4 people will be buttfuck loads cheaper than getting an apartment. so now i gotta go freakin house hunting. fun fun. well thats all for now. i should write in this thing more often so that my entries arent so fucking long. please respond i need comments or else..um...i dont know ill stress out. peace