Wide Open Spaces
I'm so over my life. I mean, i'm 20 years old, thats 2 decades, and what have i done with it? nothing. I've never been outside the US, never even gone that many places IN the US.
I mean sure, i've gone to school, made it into college, and am working hard towards becoming a exotic animal vet, a career that i really don't have a chance in hell at making. But hey, i'm not giving up. I have wonderful friends that will always support me no matter what, and my family has always been extremely loving towards me. They've never put down any of my dreams or ambitions, never laughed at my feelings, and have given me nothing but support and help no matter what path i choose. I never fear that i will disappoint them(with the exception of getting my tattoo, and even that's not a big thing). I am strong in my faith, it may not be the most conventional faith, but i know God loves and protects me.
So why then do i feel so dissatisfied with everything? I know it sounds like i'm bitching about nothing. I have the type of life some people would love to have. I have a family who loves me, i may not have a lot of money, but i've never wanted for food or warmth or even clothes.
Maybe thats the trouble. I've never really had to work hard to get anything. Getting into Incarnate Word was easy. I didn't work that hard in high school, but still got into the college i wanted. I've never really been turned down for anything. And somewhere in the back of my mind thinks that i've got a sure shot to getting into Vet school, even though my grades are pretty crappy and only the top 132 students get into A&M's vet program. And you can bet that those top 132 students have nothing but As. So why would they chose me, a less than mediocre student with Bs and Cs? They won't, but my mind doesn't believe that anything will prevent that.
I'm not a spoiled brat. When it comes to material things i have very rarely gotten what i really wanted. Growing up in a slightly below middle class family there was never that much money to spend on frivolous things. It just seems when it comes to the important big stuff in life, i've always gotten my way.
This is why i've decided to go on a cross country road trip. I was reading this one woman's blog about how she went from San Fransisco to New York on her Vespa, and how it totally changed her life. Thats what i need, some amazing life changing experience. I need to go thousands of miles from anything i've known, lose myself, and then start to find who i really am. I know there are millions of things out there in this world bigger than me, i've seen amazing pictures on TV and the internet, but I need to see them myself. I need to realize what a small role i play in this world.
I need to change my life.
So, i'm planning on the summer after i graduate college. I figure thats just about the right timing. HAHA i just wish i was starting tomorrow.
I mean sure, i've gone to school, made it into college, and am working hard towards becoming a exotic animal vet, a career that i really don't have a chance in hell at making. But hey, i'm not giving up. I have wonderful friends that will always support me no matter what, and my family has always been extremely loving towards me. They've never put down any of my dreams or ambitions, never laughed at my feelings, and have given me nothing but support and help no matter what path i choose. I never fear that i will disappoint them(with the exception of getting my tattoo, and even that's not a big thing). I am strong in my faith, it may not be the most conventional faith, but i know God loves and protects me.
So why then do i feel so dissatisfied with everything? I know it sounds like i'm bitching about nothing. I have the type of life some people would love to have. I have a family who loves me, i may not have a lot of money, but i've never wanted for food or warmth or even clothes.
Maybe thats the trouble. I've never really had to work hard to get anything. Getting into Incarnate Word was easy. I didn't work that hard in high school, but still got into the college i wanted. I've never really been turned down for anything. And somewhere in the back of my mind thinks that i've got a sure shot to getting into Vet school, even though my grades are pretty crappy and only the top 132 students get into A&M's vet program. And you can bet that those top 132 students have nothing but As. So why would they chose me, a less than mediocre student with Bs and Cs? They won't, but my mind doesn't believe that anything will prevent that.
I'm not a spoiled brat. When it comes to material things i have very rarely gotten what i really wanted. Growing up in a slightly below middle class family there was never that much money to spend on frivolous things. It just seems when it comes to the important big stuff in life, i've always gotten my way.
This is why i've decided to go on a cross country road trip. I was reading this one woman's blog about how she went from San Fransisco to New York on her Vespa, and how it totally changed her life. Thats what i need, some amazing life changing experience. I need to go thousands of miles from anything i've known, lose myself, and then start to find who i really am. I know there are millions of things out there in this world bigger than me, i've seen amazing pictures on TV and the internet, but I need to see them myself. I need to realize what a small role i play in this world.
I need to change my life.
So, i'm planning on the summer after i graduate college. I figure thats just about the right timing. HAHA i just wish i was starting tomorrow.