alrighty so
i helped make my night bad. but im just so stressed that everything gets to me. i was pretty much freaking out and wanting to cut so i searched like someone looking for drugs for just something sharp. eventually i had an old razor pressed really hard on my wrist. but, i couldnt bring myself to cut. i dont know why or how i kept myself from it. but i did. im surprised that i didnt do it. i wanted to so bad i was even trying to force myself but something made me not do it. this is the first time ive ever wanted to but couldnt. its just wow. i dont even know what to think. its just different..pressing hard still made a small cut but its nothing compared to how it could have been. im not sure if i should be proud...or what...i just really dont know what to think.