The time has closed on 2018, bringing forth 2019.
2018 was... really quite the year for me. I had undergone quite so much, experienced so much, met new people, lost a few people, had chased, have become borderline anorexic, lost much weight, had attacks - it was... quite the year indeed.
However, I don't regret having gone through my 2018.
I got to enjoy the year with my faves. I got to discover so many, many wonderful things about KinKi Kids, Domoto Koichi, Domoto Tsuyoshi, and of course, my dearest KAT-TUN.
I grew to love them so, so much more than I thought I could ever feel - Koichi, especially.
I am not exactly... surprised of my infatuation towards him. It's about to be two years since I first laid my eyes on him and... I never regret it, not even once. He's such an inspiration to me, such a precious idol, such a beloved existence... and I am certain I'll only continue to follow him to no end.
It was truly a year of new beginnings, sorrows, regrets, and wants.
I wanted to be better in so many ways, that at times, I ended up losing my way.
I'm not trying to be overly dramatic, but... that's how I feel, looking back to it now.
2018...
When it was about to end, I was ready to embrace 2019 with wide arms. I couldn't wait for it. I wanted a fresh start... but I reminded myself, "Why do you have to wait for 2019 when you can just begin again right at this moment?"
And so, I went on a journey of asking myself all sorts of things.
I wanted to let this all out first, before going on about fandom things.
My fandom... My faves mean everything to me. They are the reason why I am so inspired over the little things, why I feel empowered over so many little reasons.
The one thing I am certain of is that I am always glad I met my faves.
I have no idea how 2019 is going to be, but I am ready for it - I have been waiting for it for a long time.
Like Koichi and Tsuyoshi, I am entering a new decade of my life in this year. The past decade was... incredible. I can only look forward to how the next decade of my existence is going to be. At times, I still can't believe I am... able to reach this age in my life. I just thought of ending it so long ago that I can't help but laugh at my younger self for being so naive.
It's because life keeps going that the opportunities don't run out either. I firmly believe that.
Back in 2017, I engaged with KinKi after having exposed myself to KT. Now, I can't imagine a life without KinKi in it. They taught me, reminded me, so much. I want to keep cheering for them and supporting them no matter what.
KinKi and KT aren't exactly the happiest fandoms around, haha - and that's exactly what I like about them both. I've never been a happy-go-lucky individual. I tried to be, but it just wasn't who I am. (If you'll compare this entry with the one I posted a year ago, it's... so different. The aura surrounding it is just different.)
I've lived in my bubble of realism for as much as I can remember that I can't even bring myself to cry as much as I want to. I accept things as they are, especially when there's nothing I can do about them except to move forward with those emotions, experiences, and memories engraved in my heart and mind.
It is... challenging to be quite individualistic in a society full of collectivists. However, I am firm in my stand, and I will continue to be.
KinKi Kids: Domoto Tsuyoshi. My fascination towards him is... outstanding. He is unlike any idol I've ever come to know before, and that is his charm. That is his "weapon". His words... His sayings... His jokes, even, have become a part of me. I shall always support him in his endeavors, and I pray only the best for him.
KinKi Kids: Domoto Koichi. He is... my everything. This isn't even an exaggeration at this point, haha. He and I are alike in a lot of ways, that sometimes, it "scares" me. Why do I think like this? Why am I like this, too? Why do I understand him so much? Hm, maybe it's just because we're both old folks living in this world full of youngsters, haha!
KAT-TUN. I started 2018 with tears in my eyes when I cried during KT's appearance in JCD 2017-2018. I got through the first and second day of 2018 by putting Ask Yourself on loop for almost two hundred times since it was performed in JCD. We had UNION, then CAST... It was a roller coaster ride for us, hyphens. I can only continue to hope that the DVD/BD for them would be announced soon...
I also just remembered how much effort I put into making those 10Ks! subtitles! Those were wonderful times. I hope to be able to push in as much effort as I had in the past even now. My life's been hectic and I'm doing all I can to keep opening up ways for me. I really want to do something again for the fandom. It was very heartwarming to know how many people I've helped fall into the KT fandom, see KT fandom again, engage themselves with KT again... Those messages and thoughts are engraved in my mind.
I miss KT so much. They may be back from the charging period, but now's not the time to relax. Now's the time to keep pushing through, to keep telling us, fans, that you're back. I hope 2019 would be a better year in that sense.
Johnny's. I can't believe Takki & Tsubasa are... done.
I only know two of their songs, Venus and Yume Monogatari. Despite that, I've seen them numerous times in different programs together with my faves. I know how beautiful those two are, and I know they'll continue to be beautiful in the paths they chose to be in.
Yamaguchi. Damn.
Again, I don't know what 2019 has in store for us, fans, but... let us continue to support our faves wholeheartedly, with that burning passion all of us have for them.
If you've reached this far into the entry, thank you so much for bearing with me.
Please continue to support me in this year, too!
Thank you so much.
Kyza
However, I don't regret having gone through my 2018.
I got to enjoy the year with my faves. I got to discover so many, many wonderful things about KinKi Kids, Domoto Koichi, Domoto Tsuyoshi, and of course, my dearest KAT-TUN.
I grew to love them so, so much more than I thought I could ever feel - Koichi, especially.
I am not exactly... surprised of my infatuation towards him. It's about to be two years since I first laid my eyes on him and... I never regret it, not even once. He's such an inspiration to me, such a precious idol, such a beloved existence... and I am certain I'll only continue to follow him to no end.
It was truly a year of new beginnings, sorrows, regrets, and wants.
I wanted to be better in so many ways, that at times, I ended up losing my way.
I'm not trying to be overly dramatic, but... that's how I feel, looking back to it now.
2018...
When it was about to end, I was ready to embrace 2019 with wide arms. I couldn't wait for it. I wanted a fresh start... but I reminded myself, "Why do you have to wait for 2019 when you can just begin again right at this moment?"
And so, I went on a journey of asking myself all sorts of things.
I wanted to let this all out first, before going on about fandom things.
My fandom... My faves mean everything to me. They are the reason why I am so inspired over the little things, why I feel empowered over so many little reasons.
The one thing I am certain of is that I am always glad I met my faves.
I have no idea how 2019 is going to be, but I am ready for it - I have been waiting for it for a long time.
Like Koichi and Tsuyoshi, I am entering a new decade of my life in this year. The past decade was... incredible. I can only look forward to how the next decade of my existence is going to be. At times, I still can't believe I am... able to reach this age in my life. I just thought of ending it so long ago that I can't help but laugh at my younger self for being so naive.
It's because life keeps going that the opportunities don't run out either. I firmly believe that.
Back in 2017, I engaged with KinKi after having exposed myself to KT. Now, I can't imagine a life without KinKi in it. They taught me, reminded me, so much. I want to keep cheering for them and supporting them no matter what.
KinKi and KT aren't exactly the happiest fandoms around, haha - and that's exactly what I like about them both. I've never been a happy-go-lucky individual. I tried to be, but it just wasn't who I am. (If you'll compare this entry with the one I posted a year ago, it's... so different. The aura surrounding it is just different.)
I've lived in my bubble of realism for as much as I can remember that I can't even bring myself to cry as much as I want to. I accept things as they are, especially when there's nothing I can do about them except to move forward with those emotions, experiences, and memories engraved in my heart and mind.
It is... challenging to be quite individualistic in a society full of collectivists. However, I am firm in my stand, and I will continue to be.
KinKi Kids: Domoto Tsuyoshi. My fascination towards him is... outstanding. He is unlike any idol I've ever come to know before, and that is his charm. That is his "weapon". His words... His sayings... His jokes, even, have become a part of me. I shall always support him in his endeavors, and I pray only the best for him.
KinKi Kids: Domoto Koichi. He is... my everything. This isn't even an exaggeration at this point, haha. He and I are alike in a lot of ways, that sometimes, it "scares" me. Why do I think like this? Why am I like this, too? Why do I understand him so much? Hm, maybe it's just because we're both old folks living in this world full of youngsters, haha!
KAT-TUN. I started 2018 with tears in my eyes when I cried during KT's appearance in JCD 2017-2018. I got through the first and second day of 2018 by putting Ask Yourself on loop for almost two hundred times since it was performed in JCD. We had UNION, then CAST... It was a roller coaster ride for us, hyphens. I can only continue to hope that the DVD/BD for them would be announced soon...
I also just remembered how much effort I put into making those 10Ks! subtitles! Those were wonderful times. I hope to be able to push in as much effort as I had in the past even now. My life's been hectic and I'm doing all I can to keep opening up ways for me. I really want to do something again for the fandom. It was very heartwarming to know how many people I've helped fall into the KT fandom, see KT fandom again, engage themselves with KT again... Those messages and thoughts are engraved in my mind.
I miss KT so much. They may be back from the charging period, but now's not the time to relax. Now's the time to keep pushing through, to keep telling us, fans, that you're back. I hope 2019 would be a better year in that sense.
Johnny's. I can't believe Takki & Tsubasa are... done.
I only know two of their songs, Venus and Yume Monogatari. Despite that, I've seen them numerous times in different programs together with my faves. I know how beautiful those two are, and I know they'll continue to be beautiful in the paths they chose to be in.
Yamaguchi. Damn.
Again, I don't know what 2019 has in store for us, fans, but... let us continue to support our faves wholeheartedly, with that burning passion all of us have for them.
If you've reached this far into the entry, thank you so much for bearing with me.
Please continue to support me in this year, too!
Thank you so much.
Kyza