(no subject)
i miss madison -_-...
i'm fine most of the day...mainly cause i'm not home but then when i get home and i start getting ready for bed...there's no madison...no poon (my nick name for her...short for maddle-poon) to sit on me ;_;...to bug me...to want me to pet her...nothing there...no squeaks...;_;
this might end up being the second night i cry before i sleep...
no more singing little songs about bringing home cat food or other little things for my favorite kitty...no more hearing her meow from the other room with a little plushie in her mouth...no more rolling on my hand as i scratch the ground/bed...no more running up meowing back when i squeak at her...no more sleeping on me while i sleep...no more brushing her and making her all pretty...none of that...
the night before she got put to sleep, she meowed as i was kinda asleep and it was all distorted cause of the puking and string and stuff...i'm assuming cause she wanted out(which i didn't let her)...but then she laid on my bed for awhile...one last time...i got to hear her meow and have her lay on my bed...now my bed/futon is up...i lay there alone...sensing my empty room...there's nothing there...no madison...
i have no girlfriend to hold and bring close and tell her how much i love her...and right now i could really use one...
i do have friends and family though...and i want to thank you all for the support you've given me and thanks for helping me through this...i know things will get better as time goes and it's soo awesome to have everyone there for me...it will just be awhile before i'm 100% josh again...
now i'm gonna go and try be a little happy and get my mind off this before i go to bed...
i'm fine most of the day...mainly cause i'm not home but then when i get home and i start getting ready for bed...there's no madison...no poon (my nick name for her...short for maddle-poon) to sit on me ;_;...to bug me...to want me to pet her...nothing there...no squeaks...;_;
this might end up being the second night i cry before i sleep...
no more singing little songs about bringing home cat food or other little things for my favorite kitty...no more hearing her meow from the other room with a little plushie in her mouth...no more rolling on my hand as i scratch the ground/bed...no more running up meowing back when i squeak at her...no more sleeping on me while i sleep...no more brushing her and making her all pretty...none of that...
the night before she got put to sleep, she meowed as i was kinda asleep and it was all distorted cause of the puking and string and stuff...i'm assuming cause she wanted out(which i didn't let her)...but then she laid on my bed for awhile...one last time...i got to hear her meow and have her lay on my bed...now my bed/futon is up...i lay there alone...sensing my empty room...there's nothing there...no madison...
i have no girlfriend to hold and bring close and tell her how much i love her...and right now i could really use one...
i do have friends and family though...and i want to thank you all for the support you've given me and thanks for helping me through this...i know things will get better as time goes and it's soo awesome to have everyone there for me...it will just be awhile before i'm 100% josh again...
now i'm gonna go and try be a little happy and get my mind off this before i go to bed...