पांच दिन: पञ्च परमेश्वर का रूपांतरण
Title: पांच दिन: पञ्च परमेश्वर का रूपांतरण [translate][Five Days: An adaptation of Panch Parmeshwar]
Genre: crack, romance, fluff, flangst, fluff, fluff, fluff
Pairing: Sehun/Luhan
Length: 3.5k
Warnings: none :P (too much nonsensical flangst)
read first part. you might not understand this completely without reading it first.
Panch Parmeshwar[also known as 'God lives in the Panch'] is an undying classic in Hindi literature by Munshi Premchand. The title and some imagery are taken from this great story. I don't recommend reading the original story first, because my story is nothing compared to it. //cries.
April the 7th.
He was in Luhan's farm. It had been almost an year of happy blissful dating, though interspersed by the bodyless voice cheering and screaming about How great you look with each other!!! I totally ship you!!!! OMG OTP FEELLZZZ~~~
Sehun had been waiting for more than an hour. It is indeed beyond me, why does he show up so early? So that he won't get stood up? Won't that increase his heartbreak, if he is, indeed, stood up?
"Oh, would you shut up? Luhan's never stood me up before. And it's his own farm-
"Hey", said a voice from behind. Sehun turned to see Luhan giving him a small smile. Sehun decided this is what he liked most about Luhan. Not his beauty, his intelligence, his farm, his kisses. All this can be lost, but not his smile.
"Hi~~"
Luhan saw Sehun staring at him like a foolish lover from those Bollywood movies, where he stares only at the girl and not at the train which is about to ram him. Luhan felt weird. Light. He felt like flying. He wanted to cancel today's agenda he had for Sehun and just wanted to carry him home, dump him on his bed and shower him with kisses. Most importantly, he felt loved.
But he continued, a little harshy, to conceal his fluffy feelings for the other. "I need you to stay away from me for the next five days. No excuses."
"What?!" Sehun was flabbergasted."But it's my birthday in 5 days!" Sehun had fantasized so much about that day. He even purchased kitty ears and a golden sequined babydoll to make the day special, when he saw Luhan grooving to that Babydoll Song. Even though the babydoll was tight around his broad chest and shoulders, and he had to drop oranges into the bra-cups of the babydoll(for the complete effect), he felt it was worth the effort. When he wanted an exchange from the online retailer, they gabbled on about chest sizes and cup sizes and how it is practically impossible for a woman to have 38AAA bra size. Yes, Sehun had impersonated a woman to buy it.
Luhan's firm words broke Sehun's reverie."Look, consider it as your gift to me. Stay away from me for five days. Starting from today."
"Don't people give me gifts on my birthday? Forget it. Don't people give me gifts,no matter what?" Sehun was getting rather indignant.
"I said, starting from now. Get out before I press charges of trespassing and entering on you, again." Luhan sounded more cruel than Hitler.
"No. Give me a reason." Sehun was not a pliable piece of clay. He was iron, metal, steel. But even steel bends in the furnace.
"Get out!!!!" And Luhan literally pushed him all the way out the gates of his farm.
Sehun was embarrassed. And indignant. And vengeful.
"I'll get back at you for this." He whispered and walked away, mind filled with red.
Luhan breathed a sigh of relief when Sehun was out of sight. He ran all the way to his house and got dressed and freshened up. He was going to meet someone. Minseok, was that his name? He chose among his meagre collection of suits, and ended up choosing the white one he'd worn atthat party with Sehun. He took out his tractor and drove all the way to the only pieapple research lab in the world.
He drove his red tractor through the mud roads of the village, feeling sweaty and suffocated. Apparently, riding a tractor in the hot sun, wearing a goddamn suit wasn't a good choice.He heaved a sigh of relief when he reached his destination. It was a big, glassy, sciency-looking building. He hoped it had air-conditioning, something he was too stingy to buy. It had advertisements of the newly-released Pineapple Marshmallow pop-nuts. Whatever that was. But he trusted that it was tasty. Sehun's previous All New Pineapple pop-nuts had been a phenomenal success, not only in the village, but also in the entire country.
He walked through the glass doors and his jaw dropped. Hundreds of people wearing white coats were bustling around the entire bulding, holding pineapples, glass contraptions, odd liquids in equally oddly-shaped glass containers and whatnot. Where is Minseok?
Someone in a white coat, finally, had the kindness to bound over to him and talk to him. "Excuse me, may I know why you're here?"
Luhan was too wonderstruck by the weird arrangement in the bespectacled scientist's hand, to answer the question. It was a large pineapple with syringe needles and tubes stuck in it.
Realization dawned upon the scientist. Wasn't this the man Sehun was seen with, multiple times, and in an extremely compromising position, last year, at the launch party? He looked at him with interest. "Are you looking for Sehun? I'm really sorry, he isn't here at the moment. Do you want me to drop a mes-
"No. Minseok. I want to meet Minseok." Luhan regained his usual rough behaviour.
"I'll take you to him. Follow me. Luhan followed the scientist into a small steel box. The scientist pressed a button which said "24", and it glowed red. And then the box started moving, Luhan felt like gravity was slowly losing power. Suddenly the steel box lurched to a stop. Luhan felt like hurling all over the scientist's pretty white coat. Luhan slowly calmed down his heart while he followed the scientist to a large door which had "Kim Minseok - Head of R&D" on a brass plate. He was about to enter, when the scientist stopped him and told him to wait a second. The scientist entered first. Luhan could hear their voices through the thin plywood door anyway.
"Sir, I think Dr. Sehun's boyfriend wants to meet you." Whitecoat said.
"Hm? He has a boyfriend?" A mysterious tight voice replied.
"Yes, sir. Don't you remember the one from the party...."
"Aaaaah", Tightvoice replied, as though he just attained Nirvana. "Now I get it. Tell him to come in, Junmyeon."
Whitecoat Junmyeon's head poked outside the door. "Come in, sir."
Luhan entered, and Junmyeon left with a tiny greeting.
Luhan faced Tightvoice Minseok. A rather small, but well-built man, with large eyes and a gummy smile. "How may I help you, sir?"
"Look, you're the one who concocts all the recipes in this pineapple chip factory, right?" Luhan asked him, with the tone of those mafia bosses who take collections from businesses running in "their" territory.
"Yes, you can put it that way. Though I prefer being referred to as Head of R&D." Minseok replied, with a slight wince in his voice.
"Whatever. Now listen to me very carefully. I need you." Luhan looked around cautiously, though there was noone else in the room. He went closer to Minseok and started telling him everything.
§
April the 8th.
Sehun was at his pineapple freeze-storage facitlity, examining some pineapples which had suspicious green stains all over them. "Is thisPenicillium spp? Penicillium rot? On our pineapples? I thought we had ordered them with the special with the antigen injected - looks like we paid so much for no-
"Sir, upon closer examination, we can see that the rot was not caused by the pineapple itself. Extracts from the mid-portion of the mold show that the mold spread from a glop of pure orange concentrate to the pineapple. Maybe the orange concentrate was expired, and the mold which was gorowing in its culture spread to the pineapple." Head of Storage systems, Kim Junmyeon said.
"Yes. It is true that I rather like drinking orange squash once in a while, since it is my second most favourite fruit, but I never bring it to my facility. I do have an ongoing project in my home-lab concerning an Orange-pineapple fusion health snack, but I have never, upon my principle, brought my concentrate here." Sehun promised upon his precious trainee llamas.
"Sir. Please do not misunderstand. I do not mean to allege that you are the reason for this damage. It is indeed a first time occurence, and it could have been caused by anyone, maybe even Yixing from Apparatus Department, or Minseok from R&D, it could have been anyone, sir. We'll take extra precau-
"Where is Minseok? I need to see him now." Sehun had a dangerous edge to his voice, and Junmyeon did not want to break the bad news to him, fearing for his life. He led a bordering-on-murderous Sehun to Zhang Yixing from the Apparatus Department, who was unaffected by everything in life, and flew into a tempestuous rage only when any one of the complicated apparati in the lab broke apart. Which was a rare occurrence in Sehun's meticulous lab filled with scientists who worked at the precision of Swiss clockwork.
Sehun stared at Yixing, working on the new lab shipments, oblivious to Sehun's anger. "Sir, do you have something to tell me?" He said in a singsong voice.
"I need you to tell me something. Where is Minseok?" Sehun's inquired, barely containing the bite in his voice.
"Minseok? Oh, sir, he's actually taken an unprecedented five-day leave for personal reasons." Yixing had always been bad at reading people.Poor guy.
"WHY?" Sehun's decibel count rivalled a rogue elephant's frantic trumpeting.
Yixing was still calmly examining the shipments. "I don't really know, sir. He had a surprise visit from someone named....Luhan? I think that's his name. He visited Minseok's office, and Minseok promptly filed a leave application, and left with that Luhan person in a tractor."
"WHAAAT?!!" Sehun smelled treason. He felt betrayal. He saw red.
§
Sehun took hardly three minutes to reach the village head's mansion. He rapped on blue eye of the white dragon on the mural of the large door.
Kris opened the door. Sehun stood impatiently in the courtyard.
Hey, isn't this that boyfriend of Luhan. Asshole had the fucking nerve to threaten me. ME? What is this noob doing here anyway? Kris was filled withangry thought for the man in front of him. He stepped into his large courtyard, which had a banyan tree on one end. "What do you need?"
"I'm here to file a complaint." Sehun's voice was as cold as the Antarctic Desert.
"Wait here. I'll bring the application. You fill it in with the details, while I summon the entire village, and send out special invites to the village elders' council.
"Okay." Sehun waited. Kris hardly took a second to retrieve a document, which he started filling in with the ballpoint provided by Kris. Kris went in, and started frantically making calls to God knows whom.
He filled it out, heart sinking, but hardening at the same time when he reread its contents.
Kris took the application from Sehun, as he informed him, "The public trial will be on the tenth of April. At five in the evening. The village elders, and the entire village will be present. Right here at this courtyard." Kris said, professionally.
"Then I'll be taking your leave." Sehun stalked off into the mud roads on the hot afternoon.
Kris laughed as he read the application of complaint
APPLICATION OF COMPLAINT
WU YIFAN'S JURISDICTION
Complainant name: Oh Sehun
Complaint filed against: Lu Han
On charges of: Adultery and Mental Harrassment
Details of crime: Luhan freaking ran away with my employee, Minseok. While he is in a relationship with me. What more can be said of that ass-faced cheater cock.
Proof of crime: Luhan's empty house. Minseok's leave application, Luhan's warning to me to keep away for five days, Minseok's conspicuous absence at workplace and in public, not to be seen anywhere. Obviously MIA.
Witnesses: My employees at my pineapple research lab - Kim Junmyeon, Head of Storage systems, and Zhang Yixing, Head of Apparatus Department.
Date of Crime: April the 7th, 2016.
Date of filing this complaint: April the 8th, 2016.
Sign of complainant: Oh Sehun....
Kris gave another small laugh as he read the complaint again,and again, finally laughing like a fucking maniac, not believing his luck.Luhan could possibly be banished from the village.
§
Morning. April the 11th.
Sehun was tense. He was standing in front of the entire village, seated on the ground in Kris's courtyard, in front of the banyan tree.
At the foot of the banyan tree, on a raised concrete platform, the village elders sat, with Kris at the center. Why was Chanyeol next to him? On the left of the elders was Sehun, and on the right was Luhan, looking very ruffled, like he'd been pulled to this venue. He was still in his pyjamas and bed hair. Minseok was standing next to him, his gaze on the ground.
"The public trial may begin. May the complainant proceed." Kris said.
Sehun, stance wavering, and voice shaky, began, "I accuse Luhan, my boyfriend, of Adultery and Mental Harrassment. He has been staying with the other gentleman, Kim Minseok, my employee for the past few days. Luhan ran away from me. He told me to stay away from him for five days, obviously a time for him and the other gentleman to enjoy some together-time. Kim Minseok's meeting and subsequent departure from my pineapple research lab has been winessed by my employees, seated in the audience - Kim Junmyeon and Zhang Yixing. I have Minseok application for leave in my possession, and his marked absence from public activities further prove my accusation that Minseok was also with Luhan the entire time."
"The accused may make a statement in defence. Or he can nominate a consenting person, from this gathering, to defend his case." Kris declared, voice clearly reaching everyone, though the crowd was gossipping hushedly.
Luhan was clearly shocked by the sentences falling out of Sehun's mouth. He whispered something to Minseok, and, clearing his throat, he said:
"It is true that I have been housing with Minseok for the past two days."
A gasp escaped each and everyone in the crowd, and Sehun, for a moment, his steely countenance looked like a heartbroken kicked puppy.
Luhan continued, unaffected, "But who is to prove that I have been cheating? Oh Sehun? Who is to deem that I have been cheating? Who is to release this verdict? Kris? The village head who only owns a gun?"
Another collective gasp escaped the audience, as Kris looked visibly tense, gripping his forearms.
A man in the audience spoke up. "Of course he is our village head. He shall deem your cheating ass as worthy of punishment, or not."
Luhan tantalizingly continued, "But he only owns a gun....."
"So? Do you own a gun? Does anyone else own a gun in this village? No, right? That is why he is our village head. That is why he deserves to judge your crime." The man spoke up faithully.
"You. Are not getting my point. He only owns the gun, and not the bullets in it! In fact, he doesn't have any bullet rounds to fire from his gun! He! Owns! A! Blank! Gun!" Luhan declared, triumphantly. Minseok looked up at him with wide eyes.
The audience suddenly fell quiet. The calm before the storm.
Hardly five second of silence had passed, when people in the audience started throwing their shoes and slippers aimed at Kris, who promptly runs into his mansion and locks the door.
"EVERYONE!" A loud voice in deep baritone spoke up. It was Chanyeol. Standing next to Kris. "As the legal nominee deemed to take over this case in any contingency, I, Park Chanyeol, order the assembly to keep calm, or the risk charges of attempts to violence and obstruction of justice being pressed against the culprits. QUIET DOWN!"
The audience fell silent again at the sight of a handsome tall man taking charge of situation.
Chanyeol discusses some points with the elders, unheard to the silent audience. Luhan looked nervously at his ex-boyfriend, hoping with all his heart that he doesn't decide against Luhan, just out of spite. He then turned to Sehun, who just stared with a steely gaze into the distance.
Chanyeol turned to the audience, and looked at Luhan and Sehun. He addressed the gathering:
"After looking through the complainant's application, and into the defence of of the accused, we have come to the conclusion, that the accused, Luhan, is innocent, as there is not enough evidence supporting that Luhan had committed Adultery. First off, Luhan and Sehun are not bound legally by marriage. Thus, the crime of Adultery is ruled out. Second, there is a lack of supporting evidence indicating that Luhan has mentally harrassed Sehun. Thus, citing a lack of solid supporting evidence, such as a videotape, audio recording, or a witness who speaks on oath that he has seen Luhan committing adultery, I hereby quash the charges against Luhan pressed by Sehun. Verdict given. Assembly adjourned."
Luhan looked at his ex-boyfriend in admiration. So, it is true indeed. The judge knows no foe, the judge knows no friend. Nor does he know ex-boyfriend. The judge is indeed the voice of Justice.
Chanyeol gave a small smile to Luhan, and went over to Sehun. "Hey, I'm sure he isn't cheating on you. Just get back to him." Sehun gave a dismissive nod, and continued gazing into the distance, a gaze as cold as his pineapple freeze-storage. Luhan looked on with pity. If only he knew.
Luhan walked to the pineapple freeze-storage facility with Minseok. They had been camping behind it, and had placed Luhan's truck outside Minseok's house that day as a decoy. "Everything is ready, right?" Luhan looked at him with a smile.
"Yes. Even your words are ready. Boy, isn't your boyfriend a feisty one!" Minseok laughed.
§
Night. 11:56 PM. April 11th.
It was just a few minutes to midnight. Sehun was supposed to have a fitful sleep. But he slept soundly. The relief washing over his being, that Luhan was proved innocent, Luhan would not be banished, made him subconciously feel peaceful. Though his countenance when awake might have said otherwise. His even breathing was heard throughout the room, in pace with the ticking of his clock, slowly ticking towards midnight.
Gentle touches on his shoulder. Sehun just turns to his other side.
Gentle, but persistent nudges on his shoulder again. Insistent, needy, fond.
Sehun awoke. His eyes were still blurry. But he could see calm yellow spots of light all around his room. Candles? He turned to lie on his back and rubbed his eyes. Fond doe-eyes looked into his, illuminated by tiny yellow candles atop a small round cake. Was this a dream?
He sat up and looked down at the cake. It was a cute round cake, yellow in colour, with wisps of orange swirling psychedelically in its icing, like orange-veined yellow marble. It had tiny pineapple-yellow candles around its edge. He knew there were twenty-two without counting. He smiled.
But, hey! Something's written in the middle, in orange~
To My love, Dr. Anans anans conoiser ❤
"What a cute spelling!" Sehun sighed to himself. He was about to blow out the candles. Luhan put a hand over his mouth and looked at the clock at his bedside table. A minute to midnight. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
"Now!" Luhan whispered encouragingly, as the clock finally struck twelve after what seemed like an eternity.
Luhan removed his hands from Sehun's mouth. Sehun just stared at him, mouth slightly hanging open. "Blow it!" Luhan said again.
"Huh? Uh...okay." Sehun dazedly blew out his candles. He looked up to see Luhan smiling at him. "Happy birthday, Sehun."
"H- How did all this-
"Well, Minseok and I camped outside your pineapple freeze-storage, and we created this cake for you. God, I tried so hard, and finally I convinced him. Phew.It's pineapple, with a bit of orange, and hints of caramel. I remember you doing some weird experiments with oranges the other day, and drinking orange squash almost everyday, and Minseok added caramel because he said it would taste good. And please please please don't fire him for this. He gave me the key to your ho-
Luhan stopped his monologue to see Sehun staring at him, mouth agape, not really listening to what he was saying. He looked into Luhan, fondly, with little stars in his eyes. His brown eyes looked into Luhan's eyes gormlessly, without a care in the world. Like only he mattered in this entire world. He felt weird. Light. Like today wasn't such a bad day. Like he wasn't looking into the eyes of a guy who almost got him exiled. He felt like the whole world was at his feet. He decided, before plunging in for a kiss, that this, this gormless gaze, was what he loved the most about his Sehun.
Fin.