fun....
*sigh* So yeah.
Life is always fun, especially when you cause yourself drama that loses you friends. I won't go into details to avoid hurting the affected parties further, but between Pony's grandmother having heart issues and the ensuing nervous breakdown associated with that, and the crash and burn of a close friendship of a couple years or so, it;s not been a good day. Some days I don;t know how to go on being everyone's rock in a stormy ocean. I think sometimes it's only the fact that it's expected of me that lets me go on. Something just stops me when I'm about to break down and says 'you can't do this, people need you.'
The one person I want to apologize to and comfort if I could wouldn't speak to me if I asked, and may never do so again. It's a bigger shame to me than anyone who knows me would realize or than I let on.. He's so much alike me several years ago that it constantly shocks me, and I'd have saved him the painful revelations he's going through if I could, but I can't. Some things just have to be lived through, I guess. It hurts me to know I may never speak to him again, but so be it. Life goes on, and I can't stay in the past to dream of what if's, or it'll pass me by, and I have too many others to live it for now.
Otherwise, a new friendship has come into prominence I wouldn't have expected, which helps, but it's still a loss.
At any rate, thanks to Yote for my new icon, of my so-called 'pervy face'. Appreciate it sweetie!
Finally, latest thing on my mind is this song. several people I've got in mind with this. it goes out to those I love most in this world, you know who you are.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rooCzTFZ6fE
This I swear to you all who've been there and cared for me. I have room for all of you there and will always care. Thank you.
Circle me and the needle moves gracefully
Back and forth
If my heart was a compass you'd be north
Risk it all cause I'll catch you if you fall
Wherever you go
If my heart was a house you'd be home
Life is always fun, especially when you cause yourself drama that loses you friends. I won't go into details to avoid hurting the affected parties further, but between Pony's grandmother having heart issues and the ensuing nervous breakdown associated with that, and the crash and burn of a close friendship of a couple years or so, it;s not been a good day. Some days I don;t know how to go on being everyone's rock in a stormy ocean. I think sometimes it's only the fact that it's expected of me that lets me go on. Something just stops me when I'm about to break down and says 'you can't do this, people need you.'
The one person I want to apologize to and comfort if I could wouldn't speak to me if I asked, and may never do so again. It's a bigger shame to me than anyone who knows me would realize or than I let on.. He's so much alike me several years ago that it constantly shocks me, and I'd have saved him the painful revelations he's going through if I could, but I can't. Some things just have to be lived through, I guess. It hurts me to know I may never speak to him again, but so be it. Life goes on, and I can't stay in the past to dream of what if's, or it'll pass me by, and I have too many others to live it for now.
Otherwise, a new friendship has come into prominence I wouldn't have expected, which helps, but it's still a loss.
At any rate, thanks to Yote for my new icon, of my so-called 'pervy face'. Appreciate it sweetie!
Finally, latest thing on my mind is this song. several people I've got in mind with this. it goes out to those I love most in this world, you know who you are.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rooCzTFZ6fE
This I swear to you all who've been there and cared for me. I have room for all of you there and will always care. Thank you.
Circle me and the needle moves gracefully
Back and forth
If my heart was a compass you'd be north
Risk it all cause I'll catch you if you fall
Wherever you go
If my heart was a house you'd be home