(no subject)
Title: True Life
Author: diru69
Pairing: KyoXToshiya
Disclaimer: c'mon, we're all pervs here, our mind work the same. You KNOW what I'd do if Kyo and Toshiya belonged to me.
Chapter: 2/OVER 9000!!!
Summary: Kyo and his sister talk about being gay (lol) and Kyo finds out what jay rawk is. (KYO'S POV)
A/N: Sorry this is so laaaaate! >.< since it's my last six weeks of middle school, our schools have us doing more end-of-year tests than usual, and teachers are flipping out and giving us 50 pounds of homework a night to "better prepare ourselves for nextyear." >.> plus I'm busy with a whole assload of other stuff, but thats far from the point! The point is you people are awesome for commenting and your comments are greatly appreciated! Now here goes a fairly boring, yaoi-less (for now lol) chapter!
"It stands healthy and strong, but it can't hold onto them forever. The cherry blossom tree that cries when the gail runs past, tearing the petals forcefully from it's grasp. It whispers 'No... please, let me spend just a little more time with my children' as the slighltly harsh breeze rustles through the growing blossoms. Shaking, jostling, swaying... until they finally come loose, not being able to grasp onto their mother's branches as the cruel wind plucks them from their home and carries them away on in it's rough arms. By the time winter comes, the cherry blossom tree appears bleak. A being that once stood tall and proud now shivers, bare, it's children dead in the wake of the snow after the last blossom has been greedily kidknapped by the wind."
"It's once rich, brown bark now seems dead and black like coal. The happy glow it once emitted is long gone. It sings lamentfully in grief of it's lost loved ones. It's beautiful children that once colored it's own body with shades of soft yet vibrant pink, smooth, delicate, silk texture, scent so gentle yet so sweet you can nearly taste it; lost. This is the never-ending circle. This angished tree that becomes happy when it is able to give birth once more, only to have it's children stolen, sometimes even having to endure the sight of them shriveling right there on the ground before it's mother's eyes. Rooted there, watching, helplessly... "I'm sorry..." It whispers sincerely, regret dripping off the poor tree's words. Wake an-"
"Whatcha writin', Nii-san?" Yune asked, jabbing a small finger at my notebook. "Hm?" I asked suprise, being suddenly snapped out of my dazed-like state. I looked at her briefly, then back to my scribbled on paper. "Nothing in particular, I was just looking at the trees and this kinda popped into my head." Yune gave me a quizzical look before giving an "Oh, okay." I was a bit thrown of from my train of thought, so I decided to read over what I wrote. "Nii-san?" "Hm?" "You're doin' it again." "Doing what?" "Hehehe! You're foots moving funny!" Yune giggled. I looked down, and my sister had said, my foot was twitching. I didn't even notice it.
"Nii-san? Why do you do that when you're reading?" She was really pretty, my sister. She had a shining, angelic face, deep dark black hair, and a small, fragile form. "I dunno, it kinda does it by itself. Why is your stomach so ticklish?" I said, lunging forward, tickling Yune's tummy. She squealed and giggled in her high pitch, childish voice as I laughed like a cartoon villan. "Stop it! That tickles!" She laughed out. I stopped, looking at her with wide-eyes as I asked "You're gonna start school tommorow, huh?" she nodded excitedly. "Yup! Are you happy about going to middle school this year, Nii-san?" I fell backwards onto the grass I'd been sitting out, sighing over dramatically which made Yune laugh. "NO! All school is pointless, it's only purpose is to make students bored out of their mind and feel like their being forced to- I dunno, conform?"
"Nuh-uh! I bet school is fun! .....Nii-san, what does 'comfor' mean?" She asked, tilting her head to the side like a teapot pouring tea. "I said connnformmmm. 'Conform', not 'come four'. It means you're like every one else." I replied, sitting up and brushing the grass off of my black and red striped T-shirt. "Well, wazzo bad bout that?" I smiled at her with my teeth-which were beginning to get very crooked-bared. "Think like this. Um... You see that girl right there?" I pointed to a girl on the sidewalk all the way near the bottom of the grassy hill our house sat on. She was obviously foriegn, with brown hair and naturally blue eyes. She wasn't ugly, but she wasn't really pretty either, mostly just plain, except for her eyes.
"Imagine if you looked like her." Yune looked back at, waiting for me to tell her the point in the lesson already. "Now imagine everyone looked like her." Yune scrunched her nose a little. "So everyone would be a girl?" "Yup. And you'd all only be allowed to like the things she liked, and say the things she would usually would say. And you would act exactly like her." I said, speaking matter-of-factly. "That'd be weiiiird! And everyone would be all boring!" "That's what 'conform' means." "Ohhh, I get it!" I bobbed my head slightly and looked behind me for the ramune I brought with myself. Popping the marble on the top down with a bit of pressure from my thumb, the glass bottle's hole popped open, earning a satisfied grin from my face. I started to let my mind wander a bit as I took a couple leisurely sips.
Yune looked like she was deep in thought, at least as deep in thought as a five year old can look. "Nii-san?" she finally asked. "Mmm-hm?" I replied with my mouth muffled by the bottle as I chugged the bottle down. "What does 'gay' mean?" "MMMPHHK!!!" My eyes crossed as I choked on my soda. I coughed loudly and tried to get the soda that had gone down the wrong tube to not hurt my throat so much as I began lightly pressing on my chest. "Oh man... that hurt!" I finally choked out. "Are you okay Nii-san?" "Uh, yeah I just wasn't... expceting you to ask.. well, that. ........Umm, well, you know how most guys usually like girls?" "Uh-huh?" "Well, some guys... don't."
"Well, DUH! I know that, you dip! All the guys on our block always talk about how girls are icky and they don't like them." I shook my head from side to side and messaged my temples. "No, no- Yune, when most guys get older, they usually like girls. Remember that kid, Ken, who said he had a crush on you?" Yune stuck her tongue out in disgust and nodded. "Well, that's how it is almost all the time when you get older. Guys become more interested in girls and get crushes on them, just like girls become more interested in guys and get crushes on them. But! Some guys don't like girls when they grow up." "Well, why not?" "Because they get crushes on other guys." "I know why the girls don't get crushes on girls, I'm asking why some guys don't like girls!" "I am talking about guys!" "I know, we're talking all about guys! But I wanna know why some guys don't like girls!" "That's what I'm saying, some GUYS like other GUYS, so they don't like girls!"
"I mean like-like!" "I AM FRIGGIN TALKING ABOUT LIKE-LIKE, IT'S JUST THAT SOME GUYS WOULD RATHER HAVE ANOTHER GUY THAN A DITZY BIMBO GIRL, OKAY?!?!?" I yelled loud enough for our neighbors to look over at us. Poor people. They probably though I was coming out to my sister. "Ohhhhhhhhh!!!" Yune said knowingly. But just when I though I could feel the relief of her not pestering me for a while, she asked another question. "Why?" I swear I saw a burning flash of white jolt before my eyes as the annoyance crawled beneath my skin. "YYYYYAAAAAH!!!" Yune looked at me funny. "Jeez, calm down, you weirdo!" I took a deep breath and turned to look at her. "Okay. I'm calm. I'm calm." I told myself. "It's completely natural to be gay just like it would be completely natural if say, you liked girls. There's no way to actually choose whether or not to be gay, it's usually something your born with, kinda like how you're born liking certain foods. Do you get it?"
"Oh, okay! I get it. Hey Nii-san, you sure do know a lot about 'gay'. Are you gay?" "Huh? No probably not, but it's hard to say, I've never liked anyone before." I laughed. Then it was quiet. It was only noon, maybe if I bugged my mom enough, we could go visit the temples or go to the ice cream shop that was right next to the park with a creek. I didn't really want to face school tomorrow, I knew I'd be bored out of my skull, but I figured that maybe it wouldn't feel so stuffy if I went outside and did something the day before. I talked to some people on the phone a few days back, people that were all anxious to go to this "new and exciting" place. I honestly tried my hardest not to laugh.
Though it wasn't all bad, I'll admit. I actually met some cool people. The first week of school, I'd become friends with a group of girls who were huge fans of manga and anime, just like me. Not that there weren't guys who were fans of anime, but it seemed like all the ones that did were interested in this ritual of getting together after school and reenacting anime fight scenes. They would really get into it! Most of these stupid pre-teens would bear black eyes, bumped and beaten faces, and huge scabbed-over cuts the next day. That definately wasn't my thing. I liked seeing blood and violence in video games, anime, manga, and movies. But hurting people in real life was something I looked down on.
The girls who liked anime didn't do any of that. They just went to cons and owned stacks upon stacks of manga and light novels. There was Yuki, Mayumi, Mikka, Kagami, Ruka, and Nami. All of them loved J-pop crap-god knows why- except for Mayumi. She was into J-rock, though when I first met her, I honestly did not know what that even was. All the T.V would show back was channel after channel of pop, which is why I was convinced that I hated music for nearly thirteen years of my life. But one day, that didn't really seem like it would be particularily interesting, I found out about rock.
The day wasn't all that great until then. It was early, I was tired, and the teacher kept going on and on about the pythagoreom theorum. But when I looked over at Mayumi near the end of class, I noticed the was a poster on her desk of this guy with his hair bleached and dooped up into this crazy hairstyle, wearing clothes that looked really cool. The kind of clothes that would definately earn you sneers and weird looks from people if you stepped out onto the street with them, but that's what made them so interesting. He looked kinda like a human anime character. "Hey, Mayumi, who's that?" I asked, pointing to the anime-man. Mayumi looked at me in disbelief. "You've gotta be fucking kidding! You've never seen Atsushi Sakurai before?" I shook my head 'no' and her jaw dropped a little.
"Damn! Where the hell have you been in the past five years, Tooru? It's Atsushi Sakurai, he's the lead singer of a band called Buck-Tick." I must've seemed really dim and clueless, not knowing who this rock legend was. "So, he's a singer?" I said disappointed. I thought he looked really cool, but the first thing that came to mind when she said "singer" was "boy band", and I immediatly became uninterested. Mayumi rolled her eyes. "Not a pop singer, a rock singer." I stared at her blankly. You could practically hear the crickets chirping in the backgorund.
"You know what?" she said, pulling a thick, tough-fabric case out of her pink and black backpack. Mayumi unzipped the case and began filing through the CD's inside. Finally, she pulled out a CD labled "TABOO" on it and handed it to me. "YOU need help, and this is the only way you'll ever get it! Don't worry Tooru-chan, you can still save your soul! Its too late for those pop-loving freaks you and I call our friends, but there's still hope for you!" She joked in a comically over-reacted voice. I just looked at the shiny plastic disk for a while. When I got home, I took the Buck-Tick CD out of my bag and popped it into the silver CD player I got one year for Christmas and never used. I felt like a part of me that had been missing had just become whole. I never viewed music as an art form until I listened to that CD, but then I realized something.
Even though some music is generic and shitty and just plain nonesense, there's music out there that is alive. It has a heartbeat created by drums, and living pumping energy created by guitars. It has a bass that pounds into the core of your body and vocals used to sing out all the words and emotion and meaning behind the song. Music about real life, the life that we can all relate to. I started finding more bands and the more songs I heard, the more and more I felt like I was finding my inner passion. After a while, I didn't just want music to be life. I wanted it to be my life. I wanted to be a musician.