Now that I am not feeling utterly depressed!
I will write a little of what has been going on in my life!
Well lets see... where to begin...
The last couple months have been a nightmare from collections calling constantly, to the fact that finding a job right now is almost impossible. Just this last Feb has probably been one of the most taxing months on both me and my relationship. Alex has been pretty much paying all my bills with what little he gets to survive the month, and it's been leaving both of us stressed and starved. Thankfully today we can eat, and maybe even do something fun so I am excited! I've nearly completely quit smoking except when there are actually smokes around... so I guess that is kinda not true, but the fact of the matter is I feel good about how well I've been coping with the lack of smokes, it makes me feel quitting isn't that far out of my reach. I've also been getting back to my spiritual side, practicing my dance moves, doing yoga, meditating, all these have really been helping me with my stress. To all those that don't know which is almost the entirety of existence, I've been fighting a disease... or condition... or something of which I can't even identify for the last year and a half, and hopefully this month we can actually afford a doctor. I can't wait for my sex life to be back to normal I assure you!
^________________^
I also have a promising job opportunity coming up, granted it is just a head shop nearby my house, but still it is better to make 50 bucks a week than nothing at all. One of their employees is leaving and I made sure to make friends with everyone that currently works there as well as meeting the owner of that particular chain. As far as head shops go it is a higher class with actual 'art' pieces so if I can land that job I will be a happy puppy!
I've also been working on mixing my own music in the last 2 months with pretty good success I have discovered I have quite the ear for it! I just need to work on my vocals and I will be set! I almost played bass in a band recently but due to lack of confidence in myself backed down, I need more practice on my bass before I can play along with other people I can barely play it to a drum beat, let alone an actual person who are a bit more spontaneous than your average drum machine.
Another good thing to become of all this spare time is the ability to expand my media collection, I always like having new and exciting ways of entertaining myself. That and if I want to ever DJ for a club I need MUCH more music. *nods sagely* Alex's brother was nice enough to pull a broken computer from his office and give it to me to fix, which is now up and running, and let me tell you it sure as hell is nice to have a computer of my own again.
OH! I've also been expanding my skills in the arts as well, been drawing in my time off as well! I've nearly perfected my marker techniques I just need to develop a little more style in my art and BAM! I've decided I am going to put together a portfolio, just to have if the job market ever picks up. I've also been spending a lot of time customizing a lot of my clothing and fine tuning my makeup skills with what little we have. I look bomb if I really want to o_- I am still kinda meh at it, but I am far better than I was.
It's nice to have a possative journal every once in a while, I hope you guys feel more informed of me and my life. X3
Peace and... well that's it!
----------------------------------------------------------------
Further to Fall
So mediocrity isn't enough
But your hypocrisy is sucking it up
What you claim to be
Is conflicting with reality
So above it all
How does it feel
Watching them fall
While you conceal
The reasons you've gone so far
Keep pulling down
Because this one lasts forever
As they hit the ground
Just know that you will never
Reach the heights you failed to climb
Though you tried to be them all
You have failed to realize
Riding your words
The further you will fall
Your repetition
A permanent state
But you're masking your jealousy as if it were hate
What you try to be
Is conflicting with reality
So above it all
How does it feel
Watching them fall
While you conceal
The reasons you've gone so far
Keep pulling down
Because this one lasts forever
As they hit the ground
Just know that you will never
Reach the heights you failed to climb
Though you tried to be them all
You have failed to realize
Riding your words
The further you will fall
Well lets see... where to begin...
The last couple months have been a nightmare from collections calling constantly, to the fact that finding a job right now is almost impossible. Just this last Feb has probably been one of the most taxing months on both me and my relationship. Alex has been pretty much paying all my bills with what little he gets to survive the month, and it's been leaving both of us stressed and starved. Thankfully today we can eat, and maybe even do something fun so I am excited! I've nearly completely quit smoking except when there are actually smokes around... so I guess that is kinda not true, but the fact of the matter is I feel good about how well I've been coping with the lack of smokes, it makes me feel quitting isn't that far out of my reach. I've also been getting back to my spiritual side, practicing my dance moves, doing yoga, meditating, all these have really been helping me with my stress. To all those that don't know which is almost the entirety of existence, I've been fighting a disease... or condition... or something of which I can't even identify for the last year and a half, and hopefully this month we can actually afford a doctor. I can't wait for my sex life to be back to normal I assure you!
^________________^
I also have a promising job opportunity coming up, granted it is just a head shop nearby my house, but still it is better to make 50 bucks a week than nothing at all. One of their employees is leaving and I made sure to make friends with everyone that currently works there as well as meeting the owner of that particular chain. As far as head shops go it is a higher class with actual 'art' pieces so if I can land that job I will be a happy puppy!
I've also been working on mixing my own music in the last 2 months with pretty good success I have discovered I have quite the ear for it! I just need to work on my vocals and I will be set! I almost played bass in a band recently but due to lack of confidence in myself backed down, I need more practice on my bass before I can play along with other people I can barely play it to a drum beat, let alone an actual person who are a bit more spontaneous than your average drum machine.
Another good thing to become of all this spare time is the ability to expand my media collection, I always like having new and exciting ways of entertaining myself. That and if I want to ever DJ for a club I need MUCH more music. *nods sagely* Alex's brother was nice enough to pull a broken computer from his office and give it to me to fix, which is now up and running, and let me tell you it sure as hell is nice to have a computer of my own again.
OH! I've also been expanding my skills in the arts as well, been drawing in my time off as well! I've nearly perfected my marker techniques I just need to develop a little more style in my art and BAM! I've decided I am going to put together a portfolio, just to have if the job market ever picks up. I've also been spending a lot of time customizing a lot of my clothing and fine tuning my makeup skills with what little we have. I look bomb if I really want to o_- I am still kinda meh at it, but I am far better than I was.
It's nice to have a possative journal every once in a while, I hope you guys feel more informed of me and my life. X3
Peace and... well that's it!
----------------------------------------------------------------
Further to Fall
So mediocrity isn't enough
But your hypocrisy is sucking it up
What you claim to be
Is conflicting with reality
So above it all
How does it feel
Watching them fall
While you conceal
The reasons you've gone so far
Keep pulling down
Because this one lasts forever
As they hit the ground
Just know that you will never
Reach the heights you failed to climb
Though you tried to be them all
You have failed to realize
Riding your words
The further you will fall
Your repetition
A permanent state
But you're masking your jealousy as if it were hate
What you try to be
Is conflicting with reality
So above it all
How does it feel
Watching them fall
While you conceal
The reasons you've gone so far
Keep pulling down
Because this one lasts forever
As they hit the ground
Just know that you will never
Reach the heights you failed to climb
Though you tried to be them all
You have failed to realize
Riding your words
The further you will fall