(no subject)
so the OC made me cry...when marissa is talking to her dad on the beach...
all of a sudden i have so much to think about... and i dont like it. a week ago everything was going great.. i was really happy for like 2 weeks in a row..no drama..no "being depressed"..i was having fun.and now, i dunno.. its different.
``Best friends who are suddenly occupied with other people.. and accidently forget about me
``Lunch-time-romance that im forced to watch..i cant help but want to leave
``Ive done soo much effing homework that my head is about to explode...but its not the homework..i dont care doing it..its that while im doing it..i think too much and usually end up crying or something..
``i miss my best friend. more than she even knows.....
``i still cry about him...
got detention for drawing on tygs neck in history. im hoping he'll forget because its not till after finals week..whatever though..
dad gets home tomorrow night from LA. he's gone every week..and its starting to affect me. i do soo much when he is gone. i dont talk to him while he's gone either...and i miss him. i am such a daddys girl, but i never see him anymore.....
i have absolutely no love life.. i usually love it. but right now..it SUCKS. i cant take seeing them anymore. every fucking day all in my face. i get it..youre happy!
i know everyone always talks about this subject when they are single..and i thought that i would be that last person to ever post it in one of my entries...but im lonely.
i have sooo much to be thankful for. but there is somehitng missing, and now im beginning to feel it rather than just think it. if that makes sense. and please no one pity me with all of that "dont worry you dont need a man to be happy" bull shit. thats the kinda stuff i say to other people..and i REALLY dont want to hear it. i dont need a theropist, i dont need sympathy...all i need is to feel loved by just one person. truly and completely loved. that is all i need. one day, i know. but it hurts...everyday..it hurts..seeing them so happy...im jealous...i want to know what love is...
im so tierd of everything...its always the same....always