(no subject)
I'm having an existential crisis. I am. In one day I have found out that I'll get an A in one lit class and who knows what in the other. I could "potentially" be brilliant, but in one essay I fail terribly. Keith is a rough grader and is a genius, but I want to be a genius too. Why am I not? There has to be something that I can do. Clearly I'm not applying myself fully or at least not as knowledgeably as I should be. And then why the hell am I getting Ph.D.? Like it's preprogramed. I HAVE to get a Ph.D. I'm Phi Beta Kappa--and that's what the guys do. I mean--I have to live up to being a woman in it--and I've got to represent. That and my family. SO I dunno. MY father wants me to be an engineer but I'm too stupid for that as well. I don't think I could handle law. Clearly I cannot handle literature so what am I left with???????