Holding Onto Everything That Matters (Nathan/Haley) Teen Rated (3/?)

Feb 14, 2009 19:52


Title: Holding Onto Everything that Matters
Author: Kyla
Pairing: Nathan and Haley
Rating: Teen Rated
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Spoilers: The events of this story take place just following episode 5.12 "Hundred".  The only change is that Nathan and Lucas did not go after Dan when Dan left the house.

Summary:The enticing smells of bacon and eggs hits Nathan as he descends the stairs leading to the main floor. He had been on his way down with the intention of starting something for breakfast, but it seemed as though someone had already beat him to it.

Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone for the reviews they mean a lot.  Here is chaprter 3, there is more of the other Scott family memebers in it this time.  Comments and reviews are again very welcomed, I love reading what people think good or bad,so enjoy, hope everyone had a good Valentine's day.


The enticing smells of bacon and eggs hits Nathan as he descends the stairs leading to the main floor. He had been on his way down with the intention of starting something for breakfast, but it seemed as though someone had already beat him to it.

Nathan spots Karen in the kitchen, standing next to the stove, clearly the source behind the food creating the wonderful smells that had drifted up to him just moments earlier. Around the kitchen are plates laden with breakfast food, everything from bacon and eggs to pancakes and French toast. It’s Karen’s café reincarnated, Nathan thinks to himself with a smirk. All that’s missing is a bright smiling Haley James, bounding from table to table, her infectious personality on full display. Nathan feels guilt as he selfishly wonders if Haley will ever be able to look at him the way she used to during those simple early mornings they used to spend in Karen’s Café.

Nathan notices Lucas on the couch staring blankly at the wall in front of him and moves towards him. He sighs in exhaustion, both emotional and physical as he flops down on the couch next to his pensive older brother. Lucas, who seems completely lost in thought, barely spares him a glance before he continues his staring contest with the wall. Lucas looks just as worn down and tired as Nathan feels, with large dark half circles under his blue eyes.

Karen moves from her spot in the kitchen to the couch, squeezing in between Lucas and the couch‘s armrest, giving Nathan a gentle pat on the shoulders as she passes. She stares between the two and takes in their matching sullen expressions and tired blue eyes. For brothers, or half brothers for that matter, the boys never really looked a lot a like from a distance. It was when you were up close and able to see their eyes, eyes they had both inherited from their father, that you really saw the striking similarities. As hard as they both tried to escape any connection to him, Dan and the pain surrounding his treatment each of them had always shone through in their startling blue eyes.

Karen didn’t know what to make of Dan’s reappearance the previous night. They had all been so sure that he had been the one behind Jamie’s kidnapping; all waiting for the confirmation that Dan had done another horrible thing they could all add to their own lists of reasons to hate him. When it turned out that Dan had actually been the one to find and bring Jamie home, it had turned things on there head for all of them. The biggest part of her hated him for everything he had done and the irreversible pain he had caused to the people she cared so dearly for. What terrified Karen though was that Dan had a way of sucking her and the people close to him back in, in the simple starling moments where he revealed that he did in fact have a heart and that he was just as damaged and broken as the rest of them.

She knew that Lucas still struggled with his feelings surrounding Dan. He hated him for robbing him of Keith, he hated him for never claiming him as a child and the endless taunting he had endured growing up, the taunting that he had later learned had been at Dan’s urging. She also knew though that a small part of Lucas was still shamefully craving Dan’s acceptance, something that he had silently wanted his entire life. Lucas had always tried to hide his feelings about Dan from her; she figured that he was scared that his desire to still be wanted by the man that had abandoned them both would bring back the painful memories of her past life and the foolish choices she had made when she was young and naive. Karen softly leans her head against her grown son’s shoulder, lost in her own thoughts about Dan for what seems like the hundredth time that morning. She had begun making such an elaborate breakfast this morning in order to distract her from her minds constant pull towards Dan and the way last nights events would affect everyone of them individually and as an entire disjointed family.

Looking up at the soft squeak from the stairs, Karen watches as Haley and Jamie make their way down to the main floor. Karen smiles a tad to herself as she notices both Lucas and Nathan’s eyes immediately drifting up towards them, both watching mother and son protectively.

As Karen heads back to the kitchen to bring everyone some breakfast, Nathan and Lucas adjust on the couch to give Haley and Jamie a place to sit between them. Nathan stares surprised at Haley as he takes in her appearance. It seemed she had decided to change out of her bridesmaid dress and into something more comfortable, but what surprised Nathan was that she was wearing one of his old sweatshirts with a pair of her comfy sweatpants.

Nathan knew that he had said the wrong thing earlier, knew it from the moment he saw her reaction afterwards. When Jamie had woken up shortly after, there had been a moment between the three of them, a moment that he had temporarily gotten lost in, a moment that made everything else seem incredibly small.

The moment had pasted though and once again the harsh reality they were in came crashing back. Nathan had felt Haley start to withdraw, he watched as the protective walls she had built over the last few months began to fall back into place around her, shielding her from anything getting too close to the raw wounds that he had created, wounds she hadn’t yet had time and peace of mind to let heal.

As Haley sat down on the couch between Nathan and Lucas, Jamie situated himself between her and Nathan, his head resting softly against Nathan’s broad chest. Lucas stretched his arm around her shoulders and was ever so slightly running his hand down her own sweater clad arm as she gently laid her own head on her best friend’s shoulder.

Karen smiled at the picture in front of her as she finished working in the kitchen. She knew that their time living together in college had bonded them even stronger and closer then what they had gradually created through out their last two years of high school but it still surprised her to see how resiliently their family stood together right now. There was a point in time when she believed that Lucas and Nathan would never get along, that the damage that had been done to prevent any type of relationship between the two had been too great to overcome. That was before Nathan Scott met Haley James though, before the brother’s found something that they both loved and yearned to protect, someone they both loved that meant more to each of them then the anger and resentment they had felt towards each other for years.

Karen brought a plate of fruit over to the couch and handed it to Lucas before softly asking Jamie, “What else would you like to eat James? I made pancakes, waffles, some French toast and eggs, pretty much every single breakfast meal you can think of.”

Karen had to bite her cheek to prevent a laugh from spilling out as Jamie’s face seemed to light up at the mention of all his favorite breakfast foods. “Can I have a little bit of everything”, Jamie replied. “And Mama, Can I eat in front of the TV today?” He continued sheepishly looking at Haley hopefully.

“That’s fine buddy. We can all eat in here today” Haley nodded back at her pleased son.

Haley’s eyes followed Karen as she brought a few separate plates of food into the sitting room and sat down on the couch slightly adjacent to the one Nathan, Lucas, and Jamie and she were currently sitting on. Haley turned the TV on to Jamie’s favorite morning cartoons as Jamie began devouring his food. Haley’s stomach that had been in knots since the moment that she had noticed that Jamie was missing from the church yesterday had still not subsided and while she was anxious that Jamie get some food into him she wasn’t feeling up to eating quite yet herself.

Haley shifted her head a little against Lucas’s shoulder trying to find a slightly more comfortable position. She looked up and met Karen’s watchful eyes, who smiled sweetly at her. “Thank you for making breakfast Karen. You really didn’t need to, but thank you” Haley said the older women softly.

“It was really no problem dear. I figured no one would be in the mood to make anything this morning. Besides I had forgotten how much I enjoy working in the kitchen, I may have to kick Brooke out and get my old Café back.” Karen responded trying to lighten the somber mood a little.

Looking around Haley noticed the absence of a second five year old. “Where are Lily and Andy?” Haley asked curiously. Haley vaguely remembered them agreeing to stay the night when Nathan had suggested it the previous night.

“They went back to the boat this morning. They were going to go get some of their clothes for them to change into, and bring me some of my things. I figured I would stay and help out. They should be back soon though; Lily wanted to play with Jamie but I told her she would have to wait and see how he was feeling” Karen replied warmly.

Shortly after Jamie was finished with his breakfast, Andy and Lily arrived back at the house. The two young kids had quickly taken to playing in front of the television, enthusiastically joking around with each other. Lucas’s eyes kept drifting between his young sister and nephew to his brother and best friend. Lucas had known that Lily, even in her young age had known that something was wrong yesterday. He knew by the way she had clung to Karen, by the way she had tentatively offered him one of her flowers and the by way she had quietly asked Nathan to play with Jamie’s ball.

Lucas noticed as Nathan tentatively shifted on the couch slightly, seemingly trying to get more comfortable, a difficult task given his height. Lucas had been so lost in his earlier thoughts, thoughts he had not noticed Nathan’s appearance. While Haley looked exhausted she at least appeared slightly rested, though Lucas assumed it was probably not the most peaceful of rest. Nathan looked as though he hadn’t slept a wink, the black and purple half circles under his eyes were only made worse by the startling red that surrounded his blue eyes.

“You look like shit little brother”, Lucas stated plainly.

“Yeah…You looked in a mirror recently because you aren’t looking much better yourself big brother” Nathan replied annoyed.

Haley looked over at Nathan and also realized just how tired he looked. She had unconsciously known last night as she began drifting off that he wouldn’t take his eyes off of her or Jamie at all that night. At the time it had been a small comfort and had helped her to relax enough to get even the slight amount of sleep that she had gotten.   Now though, she could see the affects from the previous day’s emotional and physical stress, and felt a pang of guilt while she took in his exhausted figure and the way he seemed to be continuing to fight against his body’s desperate need for some rest.

“Come here”, Haley suddenly stated motioning for Nathan to put his head in her lap in order to give him more room on the couch to lie down on. She also knew that it would help him sleep if he was able to at least feel her there under him, that he wouldn’t be quite as anxious about her and Jamie’s whereabouts.

“What? Hales?” Nathan asked confused.

“Just lie down, you look like you’re about to collapse.” Haley pleaded with him softly.

Nathan shifted around and tentatively moved towards her, laying his head ever so slightly on her lap while not breaking eye contact with her dark brown eyes. Nathan felt Haley’s hands move and make there way into his hair, absentmindedly moving her slim fingers softly through it. Nathan’s eyes began to feel quite heavy and looking over at Lucas and seeing him watching Haley, he felt himself starting to relax against her.

Lucas watched Haley closely as she continued to run her fingers through Nathan’s dark hair and as she once again shifted her head against his shoulder. He could tell that Haley was extremely vulnerable right now and he was terrified that she and Nathan were letting that vulnerability mask the real problems that still existed between the two of them. Lucas knew that Nathan loved Haley completely and that he was just as terrified of hurting her again but Lucas had seen Haley at some of her weakest moments these past few months and could not bear the thought of her being put in that place again.

As Nathan drifted in and out of sleep from his spot on Haley’s lap for the better part of the afternoon, Haley continued to watch her young son in front of her on the floor, as he played with his cousin. She could feel Lucas constantly watching her, knowing that one of the only reasons that Nathan had been able to sleep at all was because Lucas was there, if it had been anyone else he would never had trusted them enough to risk closing his eyes.

She looked over at Karen, who was asleep with her feet in Andy’s lap on the couch adjacent to the one she was on. Haley felt Lucas’s mouth against her head silently kissing her hair and looked up at him. His light blue eyes protectively watching her as he smiled softly at her, “You okay?” He asked.

“Getting there”, she replied honestly back. “You okay?” Haley asked him, once again remembering his own earlier heartbreak and wanting to make sure that he too was alright.

“Getting there” he replied with another slight smile.

Haley smiled back at him and leaned up and kissed him softly on the cheek before turning back towards her son her head once again on Lucas’s shoulder as his hand rubbed her arm. She was exhausted and worn but she was no longer desperately searching for solid ground. The people she loved the most in the entire world had been able to find that ground for her, had been able to pull together despite their own individual pain and confusion and hold each other together. Her living room was filled with people she loved, people that loved her in return and at the moment it felt like more then enough to get her through the day.

fanfic:nathan/haley

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