Holding Onto Everything That Matters (Nathan/Haley) Teen Rated (2/?)
Title: Holding Onto Everything that Matters
Author: Kyla
Pairing: Nathan and Haley
Rating: Teen Rated
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Spoilers: The events of this story take place just following episode 5.12 "Hundred". The only change is that Nathan and Lucas did not go after Dan when Dan left the house.
Summary:Nathan watches silently as Haley slowly rouses from her sleep. She had been restless all night, shifting and tossing but stiffly always aware of Jamie’s slumbering figure beside her.
Author Notes:I decided to take a leap of faith and continue writing this story. This chapter is all NH+J, but the later chapters will feature other characters, hopefully with a lot of Lucas, Karen, Dan and maybe Deb as I feel the relationships between all the Scotts are worth exploring. Thanks to all the comments from the first entry. This is once again un-beta'ed and all mistakes are mine. I would still love to hear comments and honest opinions, Anything you have to offer is very welcome.
The gentle glare of the early morning sun peaking through the partially opened blinds quietly woke her from her light slumber. Haley had been afraid to let herself drift completely into oblivion, afraid that the temporary peace she felt at holding her son again would be taken the moment she awoke. She shifted slightly and smiled as she once again felt Jamie’s warm body press more tightly against her.
Nathan watches silently as Haley slowly rouses from her sleep. She had been restless all night, shifting and tossing but stiffly always aware of Jamie’s slumbering figure beside her. He had lost count of the number of times throughout the years that he had stayed up at night and watched her sleep, watched as she looked calm, at peace and free of worry.
Last night had not been one of those nights. In all honesty, Nathan knew that she hadn’t felt that way since before his accident and for those months that followed she been in a constant state of worry and unnerving fear.
Watching as she held Jamie with that slight shake in her hands all night, and the look of confusion and fear on his son’s face when he had come home had brought Nathan an immeasurable amount of guilt. He wished that they could go back to the time when things were simple, when it was just the three of them and occasionally Lucas. He hated that he was the cause of so much of their pain and separation. He could make a list of all his mistakes and regrets that kept hurting them so much, a stupid list that seemed to be growing larger by the day.
Her dark brown eyes lazily opened, blinking against the last remnants of sleep. She took in the way the slim rays of sunlight, dusted over her son’s face before looking up and meeting her husbands tired gaze.
Nathan’s hair was tousled every which way, as though he had been running a frustrated hand through it all night. Haley could see the dark circles under his eyes, and the exhausted look in them. His tearful, guilt ridden apology playing softly in her ears as she felt herself unconsciously shift further towards him.
Nathan always felt that Haley was the stronger of the two of them. Her unwillingness to ever give up and always see the best in people even when she faced difficult times always amazed him. After his accident he had watched stubbornly for months as she once again fought to reach him, fought to save him and their family from his own selfishness. What scared Nathan most was that in the end Haley had become so exhausted that she had seemed to stop fighting, part of her had stopped wanting to fight.
Haley had never looked more defeated then she had last night though, as she sat clutching onto Jamie for dear life. So when she begun to move towards the stairs, he’d followed, hoping that he could take the weight of it all off her shoulders, seeing as most of that pain and exhaustion he had created. That maybe for one night after all these months of heartache, she didn’t have to hold it all together, didn’t have to hold them all together.
When she had quietly gotten herself and an already sleeping Jamie into their bed, was it still their bed? he wondered, he had been surprised when she had looked at him with those big brown eyes still so filled with fear and silently pleaded with him to understand that they needed him there, wanted him to stay.
Haley waits as Nathan who appears to be temporary lost in his thoughts, refocuses his attention on her, his baby blue eyes once again meeting her much darker ones.
“Hi”, she croaks softly, her voice slightly hoarse from her night of troubled sleep.
“Hi”, he whispers quietly back, holding her gaze, his hands longing to pull her closer against him.
Nathan watches as Haley lightly strokes her fingers through Jamie’s hair, as she watches his steady breathes as he continues to sleep. As he watches her he notices for the first time that she’s still in her dress from the wedding, looking down he realizes that he too is still in his dress shirt and pants.
Nathan can’t help but remember Jamie’s earlier comment about how pretty had Haley looked. As he watches her now, her hair lazily framing her face, pieces shooting out in every which way from her frantic tossing all night, her eyes are red and swollen from her earlier heartbreaking sobs and her exhausted state, yet he still can’t think of her as anything other then beautiful.
“Hales” he says softly drawing her attention momentarily away from Jamie, “I’m going to go downstairs and check on everybody, make sure everything’s okay.” He watches her slightly nod her head as he continues “I’ll start breakfast, it’ll give you a chance to change”. A tiny smile forming on his lips as she looks down at her own appearance, seemingly also just realizing the dress that she is still wearing.
Haley meets Nathan’s eyes again, trying to search deep into their blue depths. She tries to silence the tiny fraction of her brain that is telling her that he can’t wait to get away from her again, the part of her mind that is bringing to the surface all her insecurities surrounding him.
Nathan quickly notices the look of fear and panic that consumes Haley’s features and realizes the effect his words had. He curses himself for once again being such an insensitive jackass.
“Shit Haley, no,” he quickly stumbles out, “I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it like that,” Nathan frantically tries to explain. He softly cups the sides of her face in his palms, slowly letting their foreheads touch and rest against each other. He watches as she slowly closes her eyes, hiding the hurt and vulnerability that was displayed in them. Nathan sighs softly, closing his own eyes.
Haley feels Nathan’s warm breathe against her face and has to suppress the sobs that threaten to release from her. She hates that she’s being this vulnerable, that she’s letting him have this much power over her, but she’s too tired to fight, too exhausted to maintain her protective walls.
“Haley…Hales,” Haley hears Nathan whisper as he gently coaxes her to look back at him, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m not leaving,” his voice pleading, bedding her to understand. She nods as she sniffles softly, shaking her head at her own stubborn tears.
They continue to stare at each other, their foreheads still resting against the other, the pads of Nathan’s thumbs once again wiping at the stray tears that fall from Haley’s eyes. When Jamie begins to stir they pull apart and both look down at the waking little boy.
Jamie shifts around uncomfortably, his hands, balled in tight fists rubbing harshly over his eyelids. He yawns loudly and buries his face more snugly into Haley’s chest before finally laying flat on his back at opening his eyes fully.
“Mama,” Jamie says softly, his voice similar to Haley’s how Haley’s had been with a slight hoarseness to it due to the lack comfortable sleep. “Why are you crying mama?” Jamie questions Haley worriedly.
“It’s nothing baby, mama was just being silly,” Haley replies softly, her hand once again stroking through his hair, as she tries to give him a reassuring smile.
Nathan feels helpless as Jamie looks confusedly between Haley and himself. “Are you hungry buddy?” Nathan asks in a desperate attempt to steer Jamie’s mind away from the worst case scenarios Jamie’s come to expect in these past few months, scenarios he can see forming in the young boy’s head. Nathan hates that it’s come to this, that he has caused so much to happen to Jamie’s world that his son has come to expect things to get worse instead of better.
Almost as soon as the words are out of Nathan’s mouth Jamie’s stomach growls demandingly. Haley can’t help but laugh slightly at the look of surprise on Jamie’s face at the loud noise, before he nods his head yes.
“Yeah I guess so, huh? That sounded like a freight train, I’m surprised that didn’t wake the whole house, geez buddy, ” Nathan teases as Jamie starts to giggle uncontrollably, the tension that had been consuming his little body starting to fade.
Jamie’s boyish laugh is infectious to both his parents and they can’t help but smile at the fact that after everything Jamie’s been through he still carries this light, this innocence that allows him to still be a little boy, still be their precious little boy.
Haley feels the moment movingly as they all three of them lay there on her bed. Her family, that had been struggling to cling together after months of heartbreak has found a moment of light amidst all the darkness, it wouldn’t fix the cracks that had formed and ate away at their foundation, but it could be a simple start to the difficult rebuild ahead.
Author: Kyla
Pairing: Nathan and Haley
Rating: Teen Rated
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Spoilers: The events of this story take place just following episode 5.12 "Hundred". The only change is that Nathan and Lucas did not go after Dan when Dan left the house.
Summary:Nathan watches silently as Haley slowly rouses from her sleep. She had been restless all night, shifting and tossing but stiffly always aware of Jamie’s slumbering figure beside her.
Author Notes:I decided to take a leap of faith and continue writing this story. This chapter is all NH+J, but the later chapters will feature other characters, hopefully with a lot of Lucas, Karen, Dan and maybe Deb as I feel the relationships between all the Scotts are worth exploring. Thanks to all the comments from the first entry. This is once again un-beta'ed and all mistakes are mine. I would still love to hear comments and honest opinions, Anything you have to offer is very welcome.
The gentle glare of the early morning sun peaking through the partially opened blinds quietly woke her from her light slumber. Haley had been afraid to let herself drift completely into oblivion, afraid that the temporary peace she felt at holding her son again would be taken the moment she awoke. She shifted slightly and smiled as she once again felt Jamie’s warm body press more tightly against her.
Nathan watches silently as Haley slowly rouses from her sleep. She had been restless all night, shifting and tossing but stiffly always aware of Jamie’s slumbering figure beside her. He had lost count of the number of times throughout the years that he had stayed up at night and watched her sleep, watched as she looked calm, at peace and free of worry.
Last night had not been one of those nights. In all honesty, Nathan knew that she hadn’t felt that way since before his accident and for those months that followed she been in a constant state of worry and unnerving fear.
Watching as she held Jamie with that slight shake in her hands all night, and the look of confusion and fear on his son’s face when he had come home had brought Nathan an immeasurable amount of guilt. He wished that they could go back to the time when things were simple, when it was just the three of them and occasionally Lucas. He hated that he was the cause of so much of their pain and separation. He could make a list of all his mistakes and regrets that kept hurting them so much, a stupid list that seemed to be growing larger by the day.
Her dark brown eyes lazily opened, blinking against the last remnants of sleep. She took in the way the slim rays of sunlight, dusted over her son’s face before looking up and meeting her husbands tired gaze.
Nathan’s hair was tousled every which way, as though he had been running a frustrated hand through it all night. Haley could see the dark circles under his eyes, and the exhausted look in them. His tearful, guilt ridden apology playing softly in her ears as she felt herself unconsciously shift further towards him.
Nathan always felt that Haley was the stronger of the two of them. Her unwillingness to ever give up and always see the best in people even when she faced difficult times always amazed him. After his accident he had watched stubbornly for months as she once again fought to reach him, fought to save him and their family from his own selfishness. What scared Nathan most was that in the end Haley had become so exhausted that she had seemed to stop fighting, part of her had stopped wanting to fight.
Haley had never looked more defeated then she had last night though, as she sat clutching onto Jamie for dear life. So when she begun to move towards the stairs, he’d followed, hoping that he could take the weight of it all off her shoulders, seeing as most of that pain and exhaustion he had created. That maybe for one night after all these months of heartache, she didn’t have to hold it all together, didn’t have to hold them all together.
When she had quietly gotten herself and an already sleeping Jamie into their bed, was it still their bed? he wondered, he had been surprised when she had looked at him with those big brown eyes still so filled with fear and silently pleaded with him to understand that they needed him there, wanted him to stay.
Haley waits as Nathan who appears to be temporary lost in his thoughts, refocuses his attention on her, his baby blue eyes once again meeting her much darker ones.
“Hi”, she croaks softly, her voice slightly hoarse from her night of troubled sleep.
“Hi”, he whispers quietly back, holding her gaze, his hands longing to pull her closer against him.
Nathan watches as Haley lightly strokes her fingers through Jamie’s hair, as she watches his steady breathes as he continues to sleep. As he watches her he notices for the first time that she’s still in her dress from the wedding, looking down he realizes that he too is still in his dress shirt and pants.
Nathan can’t help but remember Jamie’s earlier comment about how pretty had Haley looked. As he watches her now, her hair lazily framing her face, pieces shooting out in every which way from her frantic tossing all night, her eyes are red and swollen from her earlier heartbreaking sobs and her exhausted state, yet he still can’t think of her as anything other then beautiful.
“Hales” he says softly drawing her attention momentarily away from Jamie, “I’m going to go downstairs and check on everybody, make sure everything’s okay.” He watches her slightly nod her head as he continues “I’ll start breakfast, it’ll give you a chance to change”. A tiny smile forming on his lips as she looks down at her own appearance, seemingly also just realizing the dress that she is still wearing.
Haley meets Nathan’s eyes again, trying to search deep into their blue depths. She tries to silence the tiny fraction of her brain that is telling her that he can’t wait to get away from her again, the part of her mind that is bringing to the surface all her insecurities surrounding him.
Nathan quickly notices the look of fear and panic that consumes Haley’s features and realizes the effect his words had. He curses himself for once again being such an insensitive jackass.
“Shit Haley, no,” he quickly stumbles out, “I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it like that,” Nathan frantically tries to explain. He softly cups the sides of her face in his palms, slowly letting their foreheads touch and rest against each other. He watches as she slowly closes her eyes, hiding the hurt and vulnerability that was displayed in them. Nathan sighs softly, closing his own eyes.
Haley feels Nathan’s warm breathe against her face and has to suppress the sobs that threaten to release from her. She hates that she’s being this vulnerable, that she’s letting him have this much power over her, but she’s too tired to fight, too exhausted to maintain her protective walls.
“Haley…Hales,” Haley hears Nathan whisper as he gently coaxes her to look back at him, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m not leaving,” his voice pleading, bedding her to understand. She nods as she sniffles softly, shaking her head at her own stubborn tears.
They continue to stare at each other, their foreheads still resting against the other, the pads of Nathan’s thumbs once again wiping at the stray tears that fall from Haley’s eyes. When Jamie begins to stir they pull apart and both look down at the waking little boy.
Jamie shifts around uncomfortably, his hands, balled in tight fists rubbing harshly over his eyelids. He yawns loudly and buries his face more snugly into Haley’s chest before finally laying flat on his back at opening his eyes fully.
“Mama,” Jamie says softly, his voice similar to Haley’s how Haley’s had been with a slight hoarseness to it due to the lack comfortable sleep. “Why are you crying mama?” Jamie questions Haley worriedly.
“It’s nothing baby, mama was just being silly,” Haley replies softly, her hand once again stroking through his hair, as she tries to give him a reassuring smile.
Nathan feels helpless as Jamie looks confusedly between Haley and himself. “Are you hungry buddy?” Nathan asks in a desperate attempt to steer Jamie’s mind away from the worst case scenarios Jamie’s come to expect in these past few months, scenarios he can see forming in the young boy’s head. Nathan hates that it’s come to this, that he has caused so much to happen to Jamie’s world that his son has come to expect things to get worse instead of better.
Almost as soon as the words are out of Nathan’s mouth Jamie’s stomach growls demandingly. Haley can’t help but laugh slightly at the look of surprise on Jamie’s face at the loud noise, before he nods his head yes.
“Yeah I guess so, huh? That sounded like a freight train, I’m surprised that didn’t wake the whole house, geez buddy, ” Nathan teases as Jamie starts to giggle uncontrollably, the tension that had been consuming his little body starting to fade.
Jamie’s boyish laugh is infectious to both his parents and they can’t help but smile at the fact that after everything Jamie’s been through he still carries this light, this innocence that allows him to still be a little boy, still be their precious little boy.
Haley feels the moment movingly as they all three of them lay there on her bed. Her family, that had been struggling to cling together after months of heartbreak has found a moment of light amidst all the darkness, it wouldn’t fix the cracks that had formed and ate away at their foundation, but it could be a simple start to the difficult rebuild ahead.