dance, i'm a kitty cat...
What a day....I woke-up and it was cold and rainy and dreary, and then by the time school was out, there was not a cloud in the sky and it was warm and gorgeous! Crazy how the weather works up here.
A lot has happened since Saturday night when I last wrote in this thing at Manda's house. So I received some very unhappy news that night, and that's why I walked out. And the bad news just keeps on coming....I'm in a whirlwind of emotions right now. I'm devastated, I'm angry, I'm jealous of other people's lives, I'm confused, hurt, shocked, and scared as hell. I have so many important decisions that I need to make within the next week, and I can't even begin to figure out where I stand on these issues. My world has just been turned upside-down and kicked into a dumpster. Pleasant, right?
I didn't choose for my life to end up like this, yet here it is....all of this is really happening, and very quickly. And that's what frustrates me the most is that I have all of these complicated issues in front of me, and I can't make them go away and I can't change them. This is supposed to be the time of my life, but right now I just want time to vanish completely. I want to run away. I want other people to make my decisions for me - for once in my life - just so I can blame someone else for all of my problems. I'm losing so much and gaining nothing.
I never thought this would ever happen to me. This came as such a shock. And now I don't know what to do. I don't think I've ever been able to honestly say that in all of my life until now. I am completely clueless....and I mean, you can't exactly prepare yourself for something like this. There's not a how-to-cope class or anything. I'm just at a total loss. I'm so confused. However, it does help to talk to some of friends who have been through this before....love ya, Christina. As cheesy as it may sound, she's like my stronghold right now because she went through something almost exactly like this a little over a year ago. And I am soooo thankful to have all of this support from my other friends.....I love you, Matthew and Manda and Cammy.
OK so I'm going to try and move on to happier things so as not to depress my trusty Xanga readers.
Well a little part of Sunday was fun....I went shopping with Kendall, her David, Christina, Manda, and Dane. Us girls tried on some crazy prom dresses, so yeah, that was entertaining. Plus hanging out with everyone was just really fun because it got my mind off of everything.
I order my prom dress on Monday!! OH, it is sooo hot!! It's dark purple with irredescent beads all over it, and it has a halter neck and it's satin....I love it!
Yesterday after musical rehearsal was pretty fun. Cam kept calling me, wanting to hang out...so I met him at Manda's house, and we randomly hung out for about an hour and a half before I had to go to my voice lesson. It was good times! Oh, and last night Matthew ordered us two tickets for the Rascal Flatts concert in August. Heck yes!! I love them!! That is going to be sooo much fun! YAY! I haven't gone to a concert in sooooo long.
Well I think I'm going to get cracking on some scholarship stuff that's due on Friday, and perhaps I will start working on my senior book, seeing as how my senior year is aaaaaaaaalmost over!!
Oh, and I have an online photo album now!! There aren't many pictures on it now...just ones from Spring Break.....but I'm going to upload lots more pictures from choir and what not later. Yay!!