Productive-ness
Lots of housework got done today. And yesterday. And lots more will be this week. I have a week off work just to clean. Well, to clean and because the last time I had any time off work was the week after Adam told me he was leaving because it was a choice between having time off or breaking down every five minutes at work. That wasn't much fun.
Getting strong thoughts of self-harming, I don't know why. I'm not doing it but my god it isn't getting any easier I thought it'd get easier.
Been watching lots of stargate. I love gray. I tell him this a lot but don't feel that I do. I want to make him understand how much he means to me and how much he does for me and I'm not sure that I can, even by telling him every five minutes. I actually think telling him so often is going to get on his nerves sooner or later. Possibly sooner. Am I paranoid? Definitely. Am I driving him away by pressuring him too much? God I hope not.
He's not going to read this because he doesn't have the link to my LJ. Ah well. Give it time and he'll realise because...I just love him and he's intelligent so he's bound to see it.
Wonderfulness.
I'm a little drunk. Gonna do some more washing up now I think.
Getting strong thoughts of self-harming, I don't know why. I'm not doing it but my god it isn't getting any easier I thought it'd get easier.
Been watching lots of stargate. I love gray. I tell him this a lot but don't feel that I do. I want to make him understand how much he means to me and how much he does for me and I'm not sure that I can, even by telling him every five minutes. I actually think telling him so often is going to get on his nerves sooner or later. Possibly sooner. Am I paranoid? Definitely. Am I driving him away by pressuring him too much? God I hope not.
He's not going to read this because he doesn't have the link to my LJ. Ah well. Give it time and he'll realise because...I just love him and he's intelligent so he's bound to see it.
Wonderfulness.
I'm a little drunk. Gonna do some more washing up now I think.