Fic: Merlin: Gwen/Morgana
I have been annoyed thinking about the lack of Morgana in the last episode and how little it makes sense that Gwen suddenly lived at home and had no duties to Morgana, so this is the result. The episode from Morgana's POV.
Love Steals Us From Loneliness
Gwen/Morgana
PG, ~2900
Coda to 2x02, The Once and Future Queen
“What do you mean, time off?” Gwen asked, her eyes wide, before she looked down and composed herself. “That is, my lady, have I done something to displease you?”
“No, of course not, quite the opposite, but I am sure you will appreciate a few days having a good night’s sleep, an entire night’s sleep. I will manage without you,” Morgana looked away as she spoke, out of fear that her eyes would betray her. She didn’t want to be a burden to Gwen, but she would miss the safety of her arms, the one thing that truly snatched the dreams away.
Gwen knew her well enough to not question her any further, and Morgana was grateful for that as she heard the click of the door closing before her.
Morgana had never told anyone, not Gaius and not even Gwen, that the nightmares, the ones that showed her Arthur hurt, Uther dead and sometimes, most frightening of all, people dying by her own hand, felt different. She had regular dreams as well, regular nightmares, her father’s face staring blankly from the beyond made her wake up and gasp, but never scream.
Morgana was not fearful by nature, but there was something woven into the fabric of those other dreams, dreams that became reality, which made them feel different. Cold and cruel, they were more coloured than dreams had any right to be, she was transformed to a place and time, a silent spectator with no power at all. That lack of power was what she dreaded the most, why she listened to Gaius and took the sleeping draughts that sometimes kept the dreams away, and that lack of power is what made her decide to stop taking the medicine and try to take control of her dreams.
She feared her screams will disturb Gwen and did not want to tell her of the plan, because she knew that Gwen wouldn’t not approve, would worry too much. No, this was something Morgana had to do alone.
She had been given a book of herbs by her mother, a book which her younger self had little interest in, but which she kept in her room, because it was one of the very few keepsakes she still had of her family. Morgana took out the book, from the drawer next to her bed, where it had laid for years wrapped in heavy cloth, and flipped it open onto the correct page.
Liquorice for concentration. Coneflower for strength. Hops to help her ease into a calm sleep. It was not quite of Gaius’s calibre, but the ingredients were easily retrievable and it felt good to be able to take action into her own hands.
Morgana headed towards the kitchens when Merlin, with his usual grace, almost knocked her over. She found it amusing, the almost comical widening of his eyes and the stumbled apology.
“It’s all right Merlin, really, but why are you in such a hurry? What has Arthur got you doing this time?”
Merlin’s eyes darted past her, giving him the look of a little trapped rabbit, and one clearly up to something. He smiled winningly and shrugged, doing nothing to dispel her suspicion.
“Oh, nothing really, I am looking for Gwen actually, could you tell me where she is?”
Oh, Morgana thought, perhaps she had been wrong, and this had nothing to do with Arthur, perhaps the explanation was simpler than that. Merlin was blushing now and she had to force the indifference into her voice, when she replied.
“You will find her in her house, I suspect, I asked her to rest for a few days.”
“Right. Er. Thanks.” Merlin’s grin was much more genuine this time and she had to shake off a feeling of unease, or was it jealousy, before continuing to the kitchens.
Morgana was well aware of Gwen’s little crush, and she had no doubt it would be reciprocated. Merlin would be even more of an idiot than he chose to be perceived as, if he couldn’t see Gwen’s kindness and beauty, but so far neither had shown any attempt to act on it, and if Morgana was to be perfectly honest with herself, she preferred it that way. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Merlin, respected him ever, but she couldn’t but think that there was something greater in stall for Guinevere, and it made her feel impossibly lonely. She knew that wanting Gwen always by her side was selfish and it made her feel guilty, but it was a fact nonetheless.
The first attempt with the tea was marginally successful, Morgana was sure, however she woke up with no memory of the dream, nothing but a feeling of dread and with no Gwen to comfort her, it took hours to return to a dreamless, if restless sleep.
She took to the tournament with enthusiasm, as it was a welcome respite from the lonely nights and long days. Morgana liked the strange new knight, with his wide smile and unexpected success, she routed for him, and felt joy at his progress. She, of course, saw that both Merlin and Gwen seemed to treat his tent as their second home and felt both curious and a bit affronted on behalf of Arthur.
She was sure that if something important was happening Gwen would tell her, though the truth was that since Morgana had given Gwen a few days of freedom, she hadn’t seen her at all. She had hoped that Gwen would come to her, treat her more like a friend and less like the lady she had to serve and it hurt to see her laugh with Merlin, and more inexplicably, seemingly work for some foreign knight.
Morgana stood in front of the tent, and was about to make her presence known, when she heard laughter, and voices, which made her stop. Gwen was free to go where she pleased and Morgana would not enter where she wasn’t wanted--with her head held high, she slowly turned away but not before hearing an imperious voice, one she would recognise anywhere, one that had no business being in the knight’s tent, none at all.
She tried to convince herself that Arthur’s whereabouts were not her problem, besides she needed the time to study concentration if she was ever going to control her dreaming hours, but she was sure that sulking was not an especially conductive mood.
She practised the breathing exercises, which the book suggested, immediately feeling a lot calmer, and was falling into a slumber when the knock on the door returned her back to consciousness.
Morgana considered not responding, but she knew that knock and she was not a child.
She walked to the door, with a quick glance to the mirror, wanting to fiddle with her hair for a quick and silly instance.
Gwen was there, looking beautiful with the pale lilac dress that Morgana had given her, insisting that it suited her more, and she had been right, it made her skin glow. She had flowers in her hair and her smile was wide, though her eyes looked more tired than they had any right to be.
Morgana wanted to hug her, but settled on smiling back, and gesturing her in.
“My lady,” Gwen inclined her head, never forgetting her manners.
“What is it, Gwen? Have you had a restful day?”
Gwen laughed and shook her head, “You wouldn’t believe it, if I told you”
“And would Arthur be the one responsible?” Morgana asked before she could think it through.
“What do you mean? Isn’t the prince away?” Gwen was a terrible liar and Morgana felt a little sorry for her.
“It’s okay Gwen, you haven’t betrayed anyone, I heard him. Now, tell me why he is here.”
Gwen nodded, relief clear in her eyes.
“I never meant to lie to you, please forgive me, it’s just Arthur - the prince…”
Gwen began with the facts, with Arthur wanting to win based on merit alone and her role in the endeavour, but Morgana could tell that there was more and encouraged the tale until Gwen spoke of the world of difference between Arthur’s noble words and his deeds, of having to serve him without a word of thanks, of having to sleep on the floor.
“I have no idea how Merlin copes with it, I am just so grateful for you, my lady” Gwen blushed, and Morgana had to ball her hands into fists in order to stop herself from reaching over.
She wanted to march right down there and give Arthur a piece of her mind, but Gwen put a hand on her wrist and said that she could handle it herself, as if she could read Morgana’s thoughts.
She then told Morgana where she kept her better gowns, without Morgana even having to ask and promised to give her frequent updates.
This time when she left Morgana felt a whole lot lighter and for the first time the tea worked. She fell asleep quickly and as soon as she did, she slipped into one of those dreams. At first all she could see was a face--a dark face and a pot of gold, and a pool of blood, her own self bend over a body, crying. She had seen it before, those same images, constantly repeating and offering no more insight. She closed her eyes and tried to even her breathing, she had control, she had control.
Who are you?
There was no audible reply but she knew the assassin’s name, the assassin that was in Camelot, the assassin who was going to murder Arthur.
She didn’t remember screaming, but at dawn her throat felt dry, and her body exhausted. None of that mattered, when Morgana had done what she had aimed to do. Her dreams could be useful, she could learn to control them.
She didn’t know how to breach the subject to Uther, without revealing her source, but in the end she didn’t need to, as Uther told her of it himself. Of course, the king was pleased that Arthur was away, but Morgana felt little relief, knowing that not to be the case.
Merlin gave her a long and strange look, when she told him, but he nodded once and promised her that Arthur would be safe.
The final of the tournament was upon them and Morgana went to her place feeling a mixture of excitement and fear. Despite her promise, Gwen had not returned to speak to her and knowing that it was Arthur that was risking his life, instead of a stranger with the assassin on the loose, did little to calm her nerves.
She had never seen Arthur lose before and knew instinctively that something wasn’t right. She looked after Gwen running to him, wanting nothing more than to follow her, knowing that she couldn’t do so without an explanation to Uther and that she couldn’t betray their confidences. Arthur would be okay, he had to be.
Arthur’s uncharacteristic behaviour, his decision to not claim his rightful glory would have been odd, had Morgana not seen the less than subtle way he kept looking at Gwen. A few days with Gwen would set anyone on the right path.
That evening Morgana started getting ready for bed, she had just about learned a way of undressing by herself and felt stupidly proud, though she had to admit she looked forward to Gwen’s return. As it happened it occurred rather sooner that expected.
“Gwen, I thought you would enjoy a night at home and away from Arthur, I didn’t expect you till tomorrow,” Morgana said, though she couldn’t hide the smile that split her face.
Gwen looked away and fiddled with her skirts and Morgana felt the smile slip away to be replaced with unexpected awkwardness. She started to unhook her hair, as a way of keeping her hands busy. Gwen pushed her fingers away and set to work, her deft hands removing pins and smoothing hair, soothing and too much at once. They stood in silence for a long moment, while Morgana tried to breathe, reminding herself that Gwen dressed and undressed her daily, that this was something she had to do and that the fingers combing through her hair were just that and nothing more. Morgana closed her eyes briefly, before breaking the silence.
“No matter, I am glad you have returned, I wanted a full update on your last day with Arthur, you must have made quite an impression, he seemed a new man,” she teased gently, but as soon as she had spoken the fingers stilled as Gwen removed her hands and stepped back. Morgana turned to look at her and was surprised at the myriad of emotions playing upon Gwen’s open features.
There was reluctance there and guilt and fear and Morgana felt uneasy, knew suddenly that she would be intruding, but asking anyway. “Gwen. What is it?”
For a moment Morgana was certain she saw fear in Gwen’s eyes, but she blinked and there was only resignation, which made Morgana hate herself. She always prided herself with being a good person and here she was pushing and clearly causing Gwen discomfort only to find something she was sure she would not like at all.
Gwen spoke of her inability to withstand Arthur and her little outburst, which made them both laugh and Morgana fill with pride. That’s my girl. And then of the dinner and how she thought Arthur would change, and her disappointment upon discovering he had lied to her, but also the secret pleasure that he had wanted to impress her.
Morgana no longer felt like laughing.
She understood, many a young woman were unable to resist Arthur’s charm, but she shook with silent rage, which made Gwen look at her worriedly.
“Perhaps, you should go to bed, and I will finish this tomorrow,” Gwen said.
Morgana felt chilly in her thin night clothes, so she conceded about getting into bed, but she made Gwen sit near her and continue.
“I will not be able to sleep without the ending of your tale,” she insisted.
Gwen nodded again, reluctantly.
“He kissed me, before the final, he kissed me and then he almost died and then he made me proud by giving the glory to another and by aiming for peace instead of war. He then told me that nothing can happen between us.”
Morgana stood silent, glad for the support of the pillows behind her, and Gwen cleared her throat and carried on.
“I was going to go home, but I realised I have missed you and so I came here instead. I am sorry for burdening you with all this, my lady.”
Morgana stayed silent for a moment, certain that speaking would betray her feelings.
But Gwen had always been too perceptive for her own good, and she took Morgana’s hand and asked her “Why are you upset, my lady? Is it because of Arthur? I am but a servant, I am sure that he will forget about me by tomorrow, you are the king’s ward, you can always have him, please talk to me, my lady. Morgana,” Gwen pleaded with her.
Upon the sound of her own name, or perhaps the earnestness in Gwen’s brown eyes, Morgana felt something shift inside her, she started talking.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Gwen, Arthur is like a brother to me,” and she couldn’t bring herself to look at Gwen, but Gwen moved closer, until her presence was so powerful Morgana had no choice, but to look at her. Her eyes were filled with tears, making her see a blur of colour, before she blinked and Gwen looked concerned and beautiful by candle light, like she was beautiful in sunlight and in darkness.
“Besides, who can blame him?” and she moved closer, and she kissed Gwen. No romantic music played, no sunshine offered its blessing, but Gwen held her closer and deepened the kiss with no hesitation at all.
Morgana had hoped that one taste of her would satiate her a little, but it had quite the opposite effect, as Morgana had to use all her will power to pull away.
“God, I am sorry, what you must think of me.”
Gwen shook her head, “I think only the highest of you,”
“And do I deserve that? Here you are, vulnerable and in love with another and I am taking advantage of this,”
“I am not in love with Arthur, how could I be? We have barely spoken. Half the time, forgive for speaking out of turn, but half the time, he is impossible. He kissed me in the same way he does everything else, he didn’t ask, he assumed I was his for the taking, and I let him because he is brave and beautiful. I believe he will be a great king one day, but I do not love him. How could I, when I am in love with someone else.”
Morgana looked at her in wonder, she couldn’t remember the last time Gwen had spoken so candidly and openly, but it was the content of the words that really mattered.
“You are?” Morgana asked, not wanting to presume a thing.
“I am,” Gwen kissed her then and as sweet as their first kiss had been, the second one was intense and bruising, and long overdue.
Love Steals Us From Loneliness
Gwen/Morgana
PG, ~2900
Coda to 2x02, The Once and Future Queen
“What do you mean, time off?” Gwen asked, her eyes wide, before she looked down and composed herself. “That is, my lady, have I done something to displease you?”
“No, of course not, quite the opposite, but I am sure you will appreciate a few days having a good night’s sleep, an entire night’s sleep. I will manage without you,” Morgana looked away as she spoke, out of fear that her eyes would betray her. She didn’t want to be a burden to Gwen, but she would miss the safety of her arms, the one thing that truly snatched the dreams away.
Gwen knew her well enough to not question her any further, and Morgana was grateful for that as she heard the click of the door closing before her.
Morgana had never told anyone, not Gaius and not even Gwen, that the nightmares, the ones that showed her Arthur hurt, Uther dead and sometimes, most frightening of all, people dying by her own hand, felt different. She had regular dreams as well, regular nightmares, her father’s face staring blankly from the beyond made her wake up and gasp, but never scream.
Morgana was not fearful by nature, but there was something woven into the fabric of those other dreams, dreams that became reality, which made them feel different. Cold and cruel, they were more coloured than dreams had any right to be, she was transformed to a place and time, a silent spectator with no power at all. That lack of power was what she dreaded the most, why she listened to Gaius and took the sleeping draughts that sometimes kept the dreams away, and that lack of power is what made her decide to stop taking the medicine and try to take control of her dreams.
She feared her screams will disturb Gwen and did not want to tell her of the plan, because she knew that Gwen wouldn’t not approve, would worry too much. No, this was something Morgana had to do alone.
She had been given a book of herbs by her mother, a book which her younger self had little interest in, but which she kept in her room, because it was one of the very few keepsakes she still had of her family. Morgana took out the book, from the drawer next to her bed, where it had laid for years wrapped in heavy cloth, and flipped it open onto the correct page.
Liquorice for concentration. Coneflower for strength. Hops to help her ease into a calm sleep. It was not quite of Gaius’s calibre, but the ingredients were easily retrievable and it felt good to be able to take action into her own hands.
Morgana headed towards the kitchens when Merlin, with his usual grace, almost knocked her over. She found it amusing, the almost comical widening of his eyes and the stumbled apology.
“It’s all right Merlin, really, but why are you in such a hurry? What has Arthur got you doing this time?”
Merlin’s eyes darted past her, giving him the look of a little trapped rabbit, and one clearly up to something. He smiled winningly and shrugged, doing nothing to dispel her suspicion.
“Oh, nothing really, I am looking for Gwen actually, could you tell me where she is?”
Oh, Morgana thought, perhaps she had been wrong, and this had nothing to do with Arthur, perhaps the explanation was simpler than that. Merlin was blushing now and she had to force the indifference into her voice, when she replied.
“You will find her in her house, I suspect, I asked her to rest for a few days.”
“Right. Er. Thanks.” Merlin’s grin was much more genuine this time and she had to shake off a feeling of unease, or was it jealousy, before continuing to the kitchens.
Morgana was well aware of Gwen’s little crush, and she had no doubt it would be reciprocated. Merlin would be even more of an idiot than he chose to be perceived as, if he couldn’t see Gwen’s kindness and beauty, but so far neither had shown any attempt to act on it, and if Morgana was to be perfectly honest with herself, she preferred it that way. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Merlin, respected him ever, but she couldn’t but think that there was something greater in stall for Guinevere, and it made her feel impossibly lonely. She knew that wanting Gwen always by her side was selfish and it made her feel guilty, but it was a fact nonetheless.
The first attempt with the tea was marginally successful, Morgana was sure, however she woke up with no memory of the dream, nothing but a feeling of dread and with no Gwen to comfort her, it took hours to return to a dreamless, if restless sleep.
She took to the tournament with enthusiasm, as it was a welcome respite from the lonely nights and long days. Morgana liked the strange new knight, with his wide smile and unexpected success, she routed for him, and felt joy at his progress. She, of course, saw that both Merlin and Gwen seemed to treat his tent as their second home and felt both curious and a bit affronted on behalf of Arthur.
She was sure that if something important was happening Gwen would tell her, though the truth was that since Morgana had given Gwen a few days of freedom, she hadn’t seen her at all. She had hoped that Gwen would come to her, treat her more like a friend and less like the lady she had to serve and it hurt to see her laugh with Merlin, and more inexplicably, seemingly work for some foreign knight.
Morgana stood in front of the tent, and was about to make her presence known, when she heard laughter, and voices, which made her stop. Gwen was free to go where she pleased and Morgana would not enter where she wasn’t wanted--with her head held high, she slowly turned away but not before hearing an imperious voice, one she would recognise anywhere, one that had no business being in the knight’s tent, none at all.
She tried to convince herself that Arthur’s whereabouts were not her problem, besides she needed the time to study concentration if she was ever going to control her dreaming hours, but she was sure that sulking was not an especially conductive mood.
She practised the breathing exercises, which the book suggested, immediately feeling a lot calmer, and was falling into a slumber when the knock on the door returned her back to consciousness.
Morgana considered not responding, but she knew that knock and she was not a child.
She walked to the door, with a quick glance to the mirror, wanting to fiddle with her hair for a quick and silly instance.
Gwen was there, looking beautiful with the pale lilac dress that Morgana had given her, insisting that it suited her more, and she had been right, it made her skin glow. She had flowers in her hair and her smile was wide, though her eyes looked more tired than they had any right to be.
Morgana wanted to hug her, but settled on smiling back, and gesturing her in.
“My lady,” Gwen inclined her head, never forgetting her manners.
“What is it, Gwen? Have you had a restful day?”
Gwen laughed and shook her head, “You wouldn’t believe it, if I told you”
“And would Arthur be the one responsible?” Morgana asked before she could think it through.
“What do you mean? Isn’t the prince away?” Gwen was a terrible liar and Morgana felt a little sorry for her.
“It’s okay Gwen, you haven’t betrayed anyone, I heard him. Now, tell me why he is here.”
Gwen nodded, relief clear in her eyes.
“I never meant to lie to you, please forgive me, it’s just Arthur - the prince…”
Gwen began with the facts, with Arthur wanting to win based on merit alone and her role in the endeavour, but Morgana could tell that there was more and encouraged the tale until Gwen spoke of the world of difference between Arthur’s noble words and his deeds, of having to serve him without a word of thanks, of having to sleep on the floor.
“I have no idea how Merlin copes with it, I am just so grateful for you, my lady” Gwen blushed, and Morgana had to ball her hands into fists in order to stop herself from reaching over.
She wanted to march right down there and give Arthur a piece of her mind, but Gwen put a hand on her wrist and said that she could handle it herself, as if she could read Morgana’s thoughts.
She then told Morgana where she kept her better gowns, without Morgana even having to ask and promised to give her frequent updates.
This time when she left Morgana felt a whole lot lighter and for the first time the tea worked. She fell asleep quickly and as soon as she did, she slipped into one of those dreams. At first all she could see was a face--a dark face and a pot of gold, and a pool of blood, her own self bend over a body, crying. She had seen it before, those same images, constantly repeating and offering no more insight. She closed her eyes and tried to even her breathing, she had control, she had control.
Who are you?
There was no audible reply but she knew the assassin’s name, the assassin that was in Camelot, the assassin who was going to murder Arthur.
She didn’t remember screaming, but at dawn her throat felt dry, and her body exhausted. None of that mattered, when Morgana had done what she had aimed to do. Her dreams could be useful, she could learn to control them.
She didn’t know how to breach the subject to Uther, without revealing her source, but in the end she didn’t need to, as Uther told her of it himself. Of course, the king was pleased that Arthur was away, but Morgana felt little relief, knowing that not to be the case.
Merlin gave her a long and strange look, when she told him, but he nodded once and promised her that Arthur would be safe.
The final of the tournament was upon them and Morgana went to her place feeling a mixture of excitement and fear. Despite her promise, Gwen had not returned to speak to her and knowing that it was Arthur that was risking his life, instead of a stranger with the assassin on the loose, did little to calm her nerves.
She had never seen Arthur lose before and knew instinctively that something wasn’t right. She looked after Gwen running to him, wanting nothing more than to follow her, knowing that she couldn’t do so without an explanation to Uther and that she couldn’t betray their confidences. Arthur would be okay, he had to be.
Arthur’s uncharacteristic behaviour, his decision to not claim his rightful glory would have been odd, had Morgana not seen the less than subtle way he kept looking at Gwen. A few days with Gwen would set anyone on the right path.
That evening Morgana started getting ready for bed, she had just about learned a way of undressing by herself and felt stupidly proud, though she had to admit she looked forward to Gwen’s return. As it happened it occurred rather sooner that expected.
“Gwen, I thought you would enjoy a night at home and away from Arthur, I didn’t expect you till tomorrow,” Morgana said, though she couldn’t hide the smile that split her face.
Gwen looked away and fiddled with her skirts and Morgana felt the smile slip away to be replaced with unexpected awkwardness. She started to unhook her hair, as a way of keeping her hands busy. Gwen pushed her fingers away and set to work, her deft hands removing pins and smoothing hair, soothing and too much at once. They stood in silence for a long moment, while Morgana tried to breathe, reminding herself that Gwen dressed and undressed her daily, that this was something she had to do and that the fingers combing through her hair were just that and nothing more. Morgana closed her eyes briefly, before breaking the silence.
“No matter, I am glad you have returned, I wanted a full update on your last day with Arthur, you must have made quite an impression, he seemed a new man,” she teased gently, but as soon as she had spoken the fingers stilled as Gwen removed her hands and stepped back. Morgana turned to look at her and was surprised at the myriad of emotions playing upon Gwen’s open features.
There was reluctance there and guilt and fear and Morgana felt uneasy, knew suddenly that she would be intruding, but asking anyway. “Gwen. What is it?”
For a moment Morgana was certain she saw fear in Gwen’s eyes, but she blinked and there was only resignation, which made Morgana hate herself. She always prided herself with being a good person and here she was pushing and clearly causing Gwen discomfort only to find something she was sure she would not like at all.
Gwen spoke of her inability to withstand Arthur and her little outburst, which made them both laugh and Morgana fill with pride. That’s my girl. And then of the dinner and how she thought Arthur would change, and her disappointment upon discovering he had lied to her, but also the secret pleasure that he had wanted to impress her.
Morgana no longer felt like laughing.
She understood, many a young woman were unable to resist Arthur’s charm, but she shook with silent rage, which made Gwen look at her worriedly.
“Perhaps, you should go to bed, and I will finish this tomorrow,” Gwen said.
Morgana felt chilly in her thin night clothes, so she conceded about getting into bed, but she made Gwen sit near her and continue.
“I will not be able to sleep without the ending of your tale,” she insisted.
Gwen nodded again, reluctantly.
“He kissed me, before the final, he kissed me and then he almost died and then he made me proud by giving the glory to another and by aiming for peace instead of war. He then told me that nothing can happen between us.”
Morgana stood silent, glad for the support of the pillows behind her, and Gwen cleared her throat and carried on.
“I was going to go home, but I realised I have missed you and so I came here instead. I am sorry for burdening you with all this, my lady.”
Morgana stayed silent for a moment, certain that speaking would betray her feelings.
But Gwen had always been too perceptive for her own good, and she took Morgana’s hand and asked her “Why are you upset, my lady? Is it because of Arthur? I am but a servant, I am sure that he will forget about me by tomorrow, you are the king’s ward, you can always have him, please talk to me, my lady. Morgana,” Gwen pleaded with her.
Upon the sound of her own name, or perhaps the earnestness in Gwen’s brown eyes, Morgana felt something shift inside her, she started talking.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Gwen, Arthur is like a brother to me,” and she couldn’t bring herself to look at Gwen, but Gwen moved closer, until her presence was so powerful Morgana had no choice, but to look at her. Her eyes were filled with tears, making her see a blur of colour, before she blinked and Gwen looked concerned and beautiful by candle light, like she was beautiful in sunlight and in darkness.
“Besides, who can blame him?” and she moved closer, and she kissed Gwen. No romantic music played, no sunshine offered its blessing, but Gwen held her closer and deepened the kiss with no hesitation at all.
Morgana had hoped that one taste of her would satiate her a little, but it had quite the opposite effect, as Morgana had to use all her will power to pull away.
“God, I am sorry, what you must think of me.”
Gwen shook her head, “I think only the highest of you,”
“And do I deserve that? Here you are, vulnerable and in love with another and I am taking advantage of this,”
“I am not in love with Arthur, how could I be? We have barely spoken. Half the time, forgive for speaking out of turn, but half the time, he is impossible. He kissed me in the same way he does everything else, he didn’t ask, he assumed I was his for the taking, and I let him because he is brave and beautiful. I believe he will be a great king one day, but I do not love him. How could I, when I am in love with someone else.”
Morgana looked at her in wonder, she couldn’t remember the last time Gwen had spoken so candidly and openly, but it was the content of the words that really mattered.
“You are?” Morgana asked, not wanting to presume a thing.
“I am,” Gwen kissed her then and as sweet as their first kiss had been, the second one was intense and bruising, and long overdue.