Fic: Yes or No? (RPF)
Title: Yes or No?
Media: Fic (RPF)
Rating: pg-13
Spoilers: None
Summary: Darren is faced with a descion. What will he choose?
Darren walked on set on day, pulling on his signature pink sunglasses to block the cast from his epic douchery.
He walked up to the one other douche-schnozzle in the cast and crew who truley understood how he felt.
Tapping Douche!Lea on the shoulder to distract her from typing a Twitter post (!), he waited behind her.
When she turned around, they embraced, their hobbit sizes making the hug less awkward.
Walking hand-in-hand towards the rest of the cast, the two douches hogged up the limelight.
Douche #1 went up to her costars, belting long notes in their faces.
Douche #2 however choose a more suble approach, simply making a mugging face at anyone who came in his way.
TrololoMurphy walked up to DC with a complaint: "Your eyebrows are too distracting. Whenever someone trys to talk to you, those bushy catipillars on your face move. Shave those obtuse bushes off your head, or you're off the show."
Darren did not like this.
He walked to the mirror, observing the 160 degree angled hair above his eyes. Carefully combing through the eyebrows with the eyelash brush he always carryed on his person, he brushed all the grime and debris from them, pocketing the comb and walking back to set.
When he got back to set, he was faced with quite a sight.
Kevin was moonwalking across the set, "Hee-Hee, Shamone-ing!" as he did.
"Kev, what are you doing?" Darren asked, his eyebrows wiggling with excitment.
"Hee-Hee! You got to know, that I'm the rencarnation of Michael Jackson." Kevin said in a falsetto whisper, grabbing his crotch as he did.
"But MJ's dead." Darren stated, taking off his hot, neon pink sunglasses.
"I'm the ghost of Michael. That's the only explanation as to why I can sing his- I mean MY- songs without error." Kevin said, eyeing Chris with sexual frustration in his eyes. Chris would be underage enough for him, right?
Darren pondered Kevin's words. "I guess it makes sense. If you're MJ, did you really molest those kids?"
Kevin/Michael Jackson nodded. "Yes I did. Now if you'll excuse me." He said, heading over to ChrisCo.
Darren turned on his heel, humming "Reflection" from Mulan as he walked. He petted his eyebrows in frustration as he walked to the Dalton set, debating internally wether or not he should shave his isoceles hair off his forehead.
CorCor walked past Darren, the frankenteen nearly crushing the munchkin as he did. Darren just patted his head, not giving a single fuck.
Hemotosis waltzed past Darren, commenting on how his eyebrows were looking extra pointy today. Darren had no time for this, and pulled a douchey mugging face and prancing over to RyMurphs.
"I have to keep these triangles on my head." DC said. "Without them, I'll seem like less of a douche."
"OH HELL TO THE NAW!" Senor Trololo said, grabing a razor and slicing off Darrens eyebrows.
Darren fell to the ground, the eyebrows laying next to him, the eyebrows looking as obtuse as before.
"HOW COULD YOU!" Darren questioned. He was really pissed off.
"I had too. You see, those eyebrows are the cure for cancer." TrololoMurphy said, collecting the eyebrows off the ground and placing them in a Ziploc bag. He handed the bag off to the forensics experts who had appered by his side.
"B-But..." Darren stuttered.
"Just use your Harry Potter powers and grow some more, GOSH."
And so he did.
MEANWHILE
Mark sneaked onto the Dalton set, heading to where they kept the stand ins for Pavarotti. He looked around, surveying the area for any potential threats. He saw none, so he opened the latch on the birdcage, letting the birds fly free.
"Be free my darlings! Everyone deserves the chance to fly!"
The canarys flew out of the cage, saying their thanks. However, one bird stood out from the rest.
A bird carrying an iPhone landed on the table next to Mark, nodding at him, then typing out a Tweet.
Mark watched as a bird flew off into the distance, it's beauty present as it's wings glimmered in the golden yellow sun. It was truely a sight to see, watching Pavarotti the canary carry an iPhone in the air. It was truely beautiful...
...Until Pavarotti got hit by an airplane.
Darren walked to set, passing a distraught and disturbed Mark walk away. Darren shrugged, and went to sit down in his chair. He watched as Chrith sat down in the chair next to him.
"Hey Darre- Oh my god." Chris said, staring at Darren's forehead.
"What is it?" Darren asked, oblivious.
"Have you looked at your eyebrows lately?" Chris asked in return.
Darren pulled his Hello Kitty mirror out of his man purse, check his eyebrows out.
The sheirk Darren wailed was heard around the set.
"W-What the hell! How could this happen?" Darren screamed. He did the spell perfectly, or so he thought.
"Face it Darren. You're not Harry Potter." Chris said.
Darren looked at Chris is disbelief. He was Harry Freakin' Potter, and he knew it. So why is it the usual triangular eyebrows were replaced with half circles?
Darren curled into fetal position, sucking his thumb and massaging his eyebrows. He stayed i this position the rest of the day, willing his brows to return to their origial points.
They didn't.
And to this day, Darren walks around with round, circular eyebrows.
And no one knows what happened to Pavarotti, or the FreePav twitter.
...Well, except for Mark. (He's still in therapy.)
THE END!