Merry Christmas
Dear Catholic Church I went to last night, and basically any other Catholic Church,
I have a few suggestions to improve Church, and that might possibly get more people to go. There have been some fundamentals errors in your logic for the past few centuries. The main one being, it's boring. Honestly, you want people to be celebrating God and life, and you make us want to sleep. I'm not even going to get into my issues with the religion itself; I'm just gonna focus on Mass.
Suggestion One: Better music
I don't know who decided to make all of the songs really slow and drone-ing, but it's not working. God must be bored out of his mind. Let's get some faster stuff in there. The Black Baptist Churches are a little closer to the mark on this one.
Get some rock in there maybe. I realize some of my favorite bands like Disturbed and Slipknot might not be the most fitting. Linkin Park could write some appropriate stuff maybe. Maybe some Green Day too.
Suggestion Two: Dancing
Again, the Black Baptist Churches know what's up. There is an entire lack of movement. I get too antsy. Breakdancing might need to be involved. Give us short-attention spanners something to do.
Suggestion Three: Techno
This would actually help out suggestion one and two. How awesome would Church be if it was like a mini rave going on in there? People would go to that. You'd just have to leave the X out for obvious reasons....or not, some religions use that kind of thing to help.
Suggestion Four: Full-out Musical Numbers
I'm not talking like Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm talking entire Masses done to musicals. Get everyone there involved. How sweet would that be to just bust out into song and dance?
Suggestion Five: Re-wording stuff
I'm sorry, I know I'm going to Hell, but everytime the Priest says "Jesus and/or God is coming" I giggle. People like me who have the sense of humor of a 15 year old boy going through puberty laugh about that kind of thing, then feel bad after, cuz you know, it's not a nice image.
That's all I can think of for now. So yeah, get on that.
Sincerely,
Me :-)
I have a few suggestions to improve Church, and that might possibly get more people to go. There have been some fundamentals errors in your logic for the past few centuries. The main one being, it's boring. Honestly, you want people to be celebrating God and life, and you make us want to sleep. I'm not even going to get into my issues with the religion itself; I'm just gonna focus on Mass.
Suggestion One: Better music
I don't know who decided to make all of the songs really slow and drone-ing, but it's not working. God must be bored out of his mind. Let's get some faster stuff in there. The Black Baptist Churches are a little closer to the mark on this one.
Get some rock in there maybe. I realize some of my favorite bands like Disturbed and Slipknot might not be the most fitting. Linkin Park could write some appropriate stuff maybe. Maybe some Green Day too.
Suggestion Two: Dancing
Again, the Black Baptist Churches know what's up. There is an entire lack of movement. I get too antsy. Breakdancing might need to be involved. Give us short-attention spanners something to do.
Suggestion Three: Techno
This would actually help out suggestion one and two. How awesome would Church be if it was like a mini rave going on in there? People would go to that. You'd just have to leave the X out for obvious reasons....or not, some religions use that kind of thing to help.
Suggestion Four: Full-out Musical Numbers
I'm not talking like Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm talking entire Masses done to musicals. Get everyone there involved. How sweet would that be to just bust out into song and dance?
Suggestion Five: Re-wording stuff
I'm sorry, I know I'm going to Hell, but everytime the Priest says "Jesus and/or God is coming" I giggle. People like me who have the sense of humor of a 15 year old boy going through puberty laugh about that kind of thing, then feel bad after, cuz you know, it's not a nice image.
That's all I can think of for now. So yeah, get on that.
Sincerely,
Me :-)